I just received an email saying that I was selected for the Home Beta and the code was in the email. Being that I sold my PS3 a few weeks ago, I have no use for it. So here's the deal: Best Priest and a Rabbi joke gets it. If you are a noob (just joined in the past month), your jokes are welcome but will not be entered into the contest. This will run until 10pm Eastern tonight, so get cracking!
PSN Home Beta Code Giveaway... Bring on the comedy!
- Thread starter sp00ge
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[SIZE=-1]A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of their cars and the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." And the priest said, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."
And the rabbi said, "and look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. And so he handed the bottle to the priest. The priest said he agreed, took a few big swigs, and handed the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to the priest. The priest asked, "aren't you going to have any?" And the rabbi replied, "No . . . I think I'll just wait for the police."[/SIZE]
And the rabbi said, "and look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. And so he handed the bottle to the priest. The priest said he agreed, took a few big swigs, and handed the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to the priest. The priest asked, "aren't you going to have any?" And the rabbi replied, "No . . . I think I'll just wait for the police."[/SIZE]
skylinersx
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A Priest and a Rabbi were playing golf.
At some point, the Priest turns and asks, "Rabbi, have you ever had pork?" The Rabbi replies, "Sure, I've had pork once or twice."
Priest: "Was it good?" Rabbi: "Yes, it was."
A few holes later, the Rabbi turns, and asks: "Father, may I ask you a question?" "Sure!" "Have you ever had sex?" The priest replies, "Yes, before I entered the priesthood... I had a girlfriend... yes, I had sex a few times."
Rabbi: "Was it good?" Priest: "Yes, it was."
The Rabbi continues: "Father, one more question ... ... ... sex ... better than pork?"
Priest: "Yes."
At some point, the Priest turns and asks, "Rabbi, have you ever had pork?" The Rabbi replies, "Sure, I've had pork once or twice."
Priest: "Was it good?" Rabbi: "Yes, it was."
A few holes later, the Rabbi turns, and asks: "Father, may I ask you a question?" "Sure!" "Have you ever had sex?" The priest replies, "Yes, before I entered the priesthood... I had a girlfriend... yes, I had sex a few times."
Rabbi: "Was it good?" Priest: "Yes, it was."
The Rabbi continues: "Father, one more question ... ... ... sex ... better than pork?"
Priest: "Yes."
Toke2Choke
CAGiversary!
[SIZE=-1]There was a Rabbi who went to the Catholic Priest at the church and asked "How do you get the money to make your church so beautiful?". Father said "We hear confessions; observe while I demonstrate". So the priest gets in the center compartment, the Rabbi on one side and in walks the first penitent. "It's been one week since my last confession and I have commited adultery three times". Father says "For your penance say a Hail Mary and put five dollars in the collection box and your sins will be forgiven". The next penitent walks in and says "It's been one week since my last confession and I've committed adultery three times". Father says "For your penance say a Hail Mary and put five dollars in the collection box and your sins will be forgiven". The Rabbi says, "Ooh, can I try?" So the priest and the Rabbi switch booths. In walks the next penitent. "Can I help you" says the Rabbi. The penitent says "It's been one week since my last confession and I've committed adultery two times". The Rabbi says "Go out and do it a third time; we have a special - Three for five dollars!".[/SIZE]
a man goes to see the Rabbi...
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me.
What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said, "Yes."
The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison!"
a doctor a Rabbi and a priest are in a burning school when the doctor says "what about the children" the Rabbi says "F**K the children" then the priest "Okay,but do we have enough time?"
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me.
What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said, "Yes."
The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison!"
a doctor a Rabbi and a priest are in a burning school when the doctor says "what about the children" the Rabbi says "F**K the children" then the priest "Okay,but do we have enough time?"
There's a priest, a minister and a rabbi. They're out playing golf and they're trying to decide how much to give to charity.
So the priest says, we'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the money way up in the air and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity.
The minister says "no", we'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money way up in the air and whatever lands outside, that's what we give to charity.
The rabbi says "no, no, no", we'll throw the money way up in the air and whatever God wants, He keeps.
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"
A priest and a rabbi leave a bar, and see a ten year old boy. The priest says "Let's screw him!" and the rabbi says "Out of what?"
So the priest says, we'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the money way up in the air and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity.
The minister says "no", we'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money way up in the air and whatever lands outside, that's what we give to charity.
The rabbi says "no, no, no", we'll throw the money way up in the air and whatever God wants, He keeps.
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"
A priest and a rabbi leave a bar, and see a ten year old boy. The priest says "Let's screw him!" and the rabbi says "Out of what?"
When I got my code it said:
Please note: The unique code is case sensitive and must be entered exactly as displayed. Only the PSN Online ID associated with this email address will be able to access the PlayStation®Home Closed Beta. Please review and accept the terms and conditions associated with the PlayStation®Home Closed Beta....
Is that not true?
Please note: The unique code is case sensitive and must be entered exactly as displayed. Only the PSN Online ID associated with this email address will be able to access the PlayStation®Home Closed Beta. Please review and accept the terms and conditions associated with the PlayStation®Home Closed Beta....
Is that not true?
neverletthem
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A priest, minister and rabbi were walking by the forest, talking about who does their job the best. The minister had an idea. "Let's go into the forest, find a bear, and convert him. Whosever bear is strongest in faith will win"
So they each set off into the woods. later, they met up.
The priest said "i found a bear next to the river trying to catch fish. I told him that if he trusted in god, anything's possible. So i stepped in the river, prayed, and caught a fish. he was so amazed he let me baptize him instantly"
The minister said "Well, my bear snuck up on me and tried to eat me. But i said a few lines from the bible and the bear became intrigued and asked to learn how to read. I taught him a few basics and he had the entire new testament memorised."
Then they both turned to the Rabbi. He was in a full body cast, an artificial heart and was in a wheelchair. He said "Maybe i shouldn't have started with the circumcision"
So they each set off into the woods. later, they met up.
The priest said "i found a bear next to the river trying to catch fish. I told him that if he trusted in god, anything's possible. So i stepped in the river, prayed, and caught a fish. he was so amazed he let me baptize him instantly"
The minister said "Well, my bear snuck up on me and tried to eat me. But i said a few lines from the bible and the bear became intrigued and asked to learn how to read. I taught him a few basics and he had the entire new testament memorised."
Then they both turned to the Rabbi. He was in a full body cast, an artificial heart and was in a wheelchair. He said "Maybe i shouldn't have started with the circumcision"
S
starmask2k3
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A priest and a rabbi were traveling on a plane after a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked it it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork the rabbi responed yes that is still one of our beliefs the priest then asked have you ever eaten pork and rabbi replied yes i have on one occasion i did succumb and tastted pork the priest nodded in understanding and went back to his reading after a while the rabbi ask the the priest father is it still requiremnt of your faith that u remain celibate the priest replied yes that is still very much a part of our faith rabbi then asked him father have you ever fallen to the temptatio of flesh the priest replied yes rebbi on one occasion i was weak and broke my faith the rabbi nodded understanding for an moment and then said alot better then pork isnt it father
those kids", and the rabi goes "Heh, out of what?".
Two priests and a rabbi were talking one week...
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.
The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a fewpaces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside thecircle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priestand the money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.
The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a fewpaces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside thecircle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priestand the money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."
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