So I just had food poisoning for the first time...come share your story

Maynard

Maynard

CAGiversary!
Feedback
23 (100%)
Sunday night, absolutely out of nowhere, I was watching Casino Royale with my fiance and her family on bluray. At the end of the movie I was getting some severe abdominal pain that I couldn't figure out what it was from. For dinner we tried this new Mexican restaurant and the food was decent, but not great. So i'm sitting there after her family goes upstairs and my fiance is asleep, as always during movies, and i notice the sharp pains is going to horrible horrible aches. I think everyone knows when your about to vomit and that was the feeling I had, so I start climbing the stairs slowly and as I'm going BOOM it hits me, I'm going to YAK like I've never yakked before. So i run to the bathroom and slide into the toilet only to do....nothing. I basically felt like i was going to puke my brains out for the next hour and I spent that hour hugging the toilet. Finally I vomit, what seemed to be, four small children. The kicker is I have never had food poisoning and nothing could prepare you for the fact that food poisoning makes food shoot out of both sides of your body. Just as soon as I am done throwing up I had to switch to the opposite side of my body to expel what wanted to come out there. It reminded me of the south park episode where Kenny's parents want to have another baby and Kenny gives the dad the morning after pill on accident and he is just shooting stuff out. While i can't pinpoint where i got the food poisoning from, my guess is that it was a place thats right next to my work that serves Gyro's because thats all I could taste and smell when I was doing both dirty deeds.

I'm feeling a little better today, I did go to the hospital early Monday morning, 4am ish, and luckily they pumped me full of drugs because i got absolutely no sleep and apparently was moaning the whole night because i was in so much pain. 103 fever right now though so I'm a little delusional, which is why I probably thought the CAG membership was real and the coolest idea....


Share your food poisoning story :)
 
I have been through it quite a few times. Not too fond of it so I do not want to share stories. =P All I can tell you is, when I puke and poop at almost the same time, I remember that southpark episode as well. :D
 
First week of February i had food poisoning. It was awful. I barely ate at all for that week, lost 15 pounds.
 
I had food poisoning about 12 years ago. It was fucking terrible. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and before I could get there, BOOM, I shit myself.

I miss those sweatpants. :cry:
 
[quote name='senorwoohoo']I had food poisoning about 12 years ago. It was fucking terrible. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and before I could get there, BOOM, I shit myself.

I miss those sweatpants. :cry:[/quote]

haha oh it hurts so bad to laugh, but you sir have made me crack up.
 
[quote name='Theduck']I have been through it quite a few times. Not too fond of it so I do not want to share stories. =P All I can tell you is, when I puke and poop at almost the same time, I remember that southpark episode as well. :D[/QUOTE]

haha, I've had that happen more than a few times (I love my chili but man does it fuck up my stomach), that shit fucks with your mind. I've also puked so hard that I've shit my pants before as well
 
[quote name='Maynard']haha oh it hurts so bad to laugh, but you sir have made me crack up.[/QUOTE]

Glad I could make ya laugh. Worst part was I have no idea why I got so sick.

I ate old salsa another time and it gave me hives and my throat kinda closed up. That was awesome, too.
 
I can't remember a recent bout with food poisoning, though I'm sure it has happened earlier in life (I'm 23). I suppose this could be attributed to my dislike of bloody meat, love of a nice char, and reliance on sugar and salt.

Oh yeah, bring on the diabypertension. Woo! x_x;
 
I remember when I was around 12 or so, i spent the night at a friends house, and ate a shitload of chili fritos. Everything was fine until i woke up the next morning and felt sick, so I went into the bathroom and kneeled down to puke when all of a sudden my body faked me out and i had to frantically jump onto the toilet to keep from shitting everywhere.

I got a couple of good booms outta my ass and then had to jump down and throw up some, then then shits came back so i got back up. Well that rhythm didnt work for very long and I was mid assplosion when the next puke came up so i just had to pull back the shower curtain and try to project far enough to puke into his bathtub.

Took me like a full hour to clean up his bathroom.
 
I got gastric flu when I was at Uni, the worst thing was it was during my first year exams. I couldn't eat anything for about 3 days, it just went straight through me. Funnily enough I had a solid digestive system before then, it's never been as strong since.

I also got Ghandi's revenge when I was in India on business, I had the squirts from about 2 days into the trip and it lasted for a week when I got back :whistle2:&.

That wasn't fun.
 
Haha, I have a few stories as well.

One was back in 1997 when I was but a wee 9 year old. I had some delicious take out Chinese food that, including a ridiculous sized portion of egg foo yong (sp?). Well, suffice it to say, just a couple of hours later, I was puking the egg foo yong patties up, and disgustingly enough, I couldn't make it to the toilet, so I let loose in my sink. I still don't know if it was food poisoning or I just ate to much though, but that was a gross story.

The next wasn't actually a case of food poisoning at all, but still quite hilarious. It was back in 2005, I had to undergo a chiari decompression (please tell me I'm not the only one who knows what those are), so I was out of it for awhile. After they let me go home, I was still feeling blue, and also very constipated. So, my mom gave me some ex lax to loosen up my shit so I could in a little bit. Well, I waited and waited, and it felt as nothing was going to drive the shit loose. Meanwhile, the Daily Show was on, and John Stewart was doing one of his skits where he makes fun of a speech George Bush gave. No more than 2 seconds into the George Bush speech clip, I ruin a good pair of sweat pants. The end.

I have another story, but it's not quite as funny as these.
 
Last Thanksgiving I ate some bad turkey. Throughout the night, I was getting up every 20 minutes to puke. Eventually, my bowels were going absolutely haywire, and I started puking and shitting at the same time. My grandpa's bathroom floor was covered with vomit, and there was some nasty diarrhea in the toilet pretty much all night. Gross.
 
I never had it I don't think. Maybe one time I did. I had arby's for dinner and then housed a pint of coffee flavored ice cream. I had stomach cramps so bad I couldn't right myself, I had to lean over.

Then, later, I shit so hard and fast that it launched me into the ceiling so hard the ceiling knocked me out cold.
 
[quote name='pittpizza']I never had it I don't think. Maybe one time I did. I had arby's for dinner and then housed a pint of coffee flavored ice cream. I had stomach cramps so bad I couldn't right myself, I had to lean over.

Then, later, I shit so hard and fast that it launched me into the ceiling so hard the ceiling knocked me out cold.[/quote]

I always wanted to meet an astronaut. How was Mars? Nice and planety? ;)
 
I don't think you had food poisoning because I was going through the same thing early last week. You had the stomach flu.

I woke up one day and the next I knew, I was in the bathroom a lot. I threw up almost everything I ate the day before on both ends. Even when I very thristy and I couldn't drink a lot of water because I would throw up again. I never felt so weak and cold in my entire life (and it was a WARM and HOT spring day at the time). For the rest of the day, I slept.

The next day, my stomach wanted to kill me and I continue to throw up. Food was out of the question because everything looked so disgusting. My friend came over with crackers, Gaterade, and Peppobismo. Before I know it for the next 2 days, I was on a cracker and Gaterade diet. Peppo HELPS a lot to keep my stomach pain to the minimum. I had the pill form and I was instructed to take 2 pills every 1 or 2 hours. I don't think I could sleep at night if it wasn't for Peppo with the stomach pain.

The 3rd day, I felt so much better, but I was sore all over the place because I was sleeping a lot. I couldn't eat anything and I read you're not supposed to eat anything until a week has passed. The only thing I could eat are crackers and banana.

A week has passed and I never want to go through that ever again.
 
I've had it coming out both ends myself once but it wasn't food poisoning for me. I caught it off my gf who had the same thing a few days earlier. I remember taking pepto bismol to see if that would help and ended up just puking pink a few times before dry heaving. Not good times.

I felt horrible but the next day I was back on my feet.
 
[quote name='hohez']I remember when I was around 12 or so, i spent the night at a friends house, and ate a shitload of chili fritos. Everything was fine until i woke up the next morning and felt sick, so I went into the bathroom and kneeled down to puke when all of a sudden my body faked me out and i had to frantically jump onto the toilet to keep from shitting everywhere.

I got a couple of good booms outta my ass and then had to jump down and throw up some, then then shits came back so i got back up. Well that rhythm didnt work for very long and I was mid assplosion when the next puke came up so i just had to pull back the shower curtain and try to project far enough to puke into his bathtub.

Took me like a full hour to clean up his bathroom.[/quote]

This exact same scenario happened to me... Doing the rotating positions when all of a sudden they both wanted to work.. Luckily the shower was right there and worked perfectly...
 
[quote name='Panda']I don't think you had food poisoning because I was going through the same thing early last week. You had the stomach flu.

I woke up one day and the next I knew, I was in the bathroom a lot. I threw up almost everything I ate the day before on both ends. Even when I very thristy and I couldn't drink a lot of water because I would throw up again. I never felt so weak and cold in my entire life (and it was a WARM and HOT spring day at the time). For the rest of the day, I slept.

The next day, my stomach wanted to kill me and I continue to throw up. Food was out of the question because everything looked so disgusting. My friend came over with crackers, Gaterade, and Peppobismo. Before I know it for the next 2 days, I was on a cracker and Gaterade diet. Peppo HELPS a lot to keep my stomach pain to the minimum. I had the pill form and I was instructed to take 2 pills every 1 or 2 hours. I don't think I could sleep at night if it wasn't for Peppo with the stomach pain.

The 3rd day, I felt so much better, but I was sore all over the place because I was sleeping a lot. I couldn't eat anything and I read you're not supposed to eat anything until a week has passed. The only thing I could eat are crackers and banana.

A week has passed and I never want to go through that ever again.[/quote]

My faince had precisely this same thing. I think that may have been what you had too Maynard, it's been going around lately. At least in the Northeast. A major stomach bug.
 
[quote name='fart_bubble']haha, I've had that happen more than a few times (Ithat shit fucks with your mind. [/quote]

QFT

After having an episode one night (still can not pin point if it was the steak looked a little to red at Ihop, left over curry, or left over greasy pizza). Worst 2 days ever, going to the bathroom constantly in the middle of the night.

I was so paranoid about it after it subsided, just ate a lot of bread and crackers for about a good week
 
All i do is sleep right now, i just finished playing dark sector for the past hour or so. The game is worth renting but man does it get boring. I think the worst part about being sick is not being interested in anything.
 
A couple of years ago i was sick and my tastebuds werent the greatest my mouth was very dry, i asked my brother to give me some water and he didnt come back for a while so i went into the kitchen myself and saw a measuring cup of water and drank it all down, it tasted a bit funny in the back of my throat but ignored it due to being sick. My brother comes back and asks me if i know what happened to the liquid plant food he left on the counter.

:shock:
 
HOly crap joe, you're lucky to be alive! Do you often go around drinking liquids that you don't know what they are? There could have been lethal amounts of ferts in that!

Hey speaking of lethal amounts of plant food, anybody see "Into the Wild"? that movie was awesome.
 
2 stories:

1) I was 17 or so and the whole family went to disney. We stayed in some outdoor cabins. Anywho, we went to the buffet at the campsite place and we all ate some spaghetti and other pasta stuff. We got back to the cabin and went to bed. About 2 hours later I wake up mid-gag, hop out of the bed and make a bee-line for the bathroom. In my still half-asleep stupor, I missed the fact that one of my sisters was already kneeled over the toilet puking til I was in the process of almost tripping over her as I let loose the first of a few nasty pukes. Luckily she was able to dodge/fall out of the way of my stream of puke that lined the floor next to the toilet. The rest of the night was spent as follows- Me hugging the sink, sister #1 hugging the toilet/avoiding my puddle of puke, sister #2 hugging the bathtub, sister #3 and mom outside puking in the "woods," and grandma in the kitchen making good use of the sink/garbage disposal. Disney's solution?- free meals at the buffet the following night. :whistle2:# No thanks!


2) My Junior year in college a couple of the frat guys thought it'd be cool to have a milk drinking contest. The bet was as follows. Both guys put $100 on the table. First one to finish an entire gallon of 2% milk takes the money. They could do anything they needed to drink the milk (let it get warm, eat something with it, put it in a funnel to drink it faster, whatever), just as long as they drank it. Long story short, they both finished their gallons of milk (warm no less :whistle2:#), the winner winning by only about 10 seconds. One spent the entire evening in a shower stall puking and shitting milk for a few hours. The other puked pretty violently almost immediately after winning the bet. But he thought that was all there was too it. So he went to bed. Only to wake up a few hours later with his sweatpants, mattress, and sheets COVERED in milk diarrhea. Most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
 
[quote name='pittpizza']
Hey speaking of lethal amounts of plant food, anybody see "Into the Wild"? that movie was awesome.[/quote]

Story was good, but the movie was so slow and boring. Just another one of those movies where I MUCH prefer the book over the movie.
 
My cousin ended up in the hospital from food poisoning when he was around 10 or 11. His grandfather stopped by to visit after everyone else had left. I guess at that age, diseases that start with s all sound the same, which resulted in the following conversation:

Grandfather: So what's wrong with you, champ?
Son: I've got syphilis, pop!
Grandfather: WHAT?!?!
 
My senior year in high school, I was hospitalized for 2 days with salmonella poisoning from a fucking McChicken sandwich. Before going to the hospital, I was vomiting every 2 minutes. :puke:

In 2006, while studying for the LSAT, mexican pizzas from Taco Bell became "food" of choice. No other places to eat near the damn library. Anyway, in the days leading up to the exam, and the day of the test itself, the toilet was my best friend :whistle2:#

Speaking of which, I suddenly have the urge to drop a gangsta :mrgreen:
 
My Senior of High School I got Salmonella from bad Oysters. I remember my mom picking me up at school and we had to pull over like 3 times cause I had to hurl out the side of the car. I had a high fever but I felt like I was freezing. This was late spring too. I def couldnt hold down food well, it was just soup, ginger ale and jello for a couple days for me.
 
Awhile back, I got food poisoning from Taco Bell. That night I was staying over at my GF's apartment. I fell asleep to find that I had shit myself. I got up to take a shower and went back to sleep. In the morning, the first thing that came to mind was the fact that I had left my soiled clothing on the bathroom floor! :shock:
 
I ate some White Castle cheeseburgers from the vending machine (which was referred to as the "Wheel Of Death") in my residence hall when I was at college. I had an exam the next morning, so I went to sleep at a decent time (which was about 2am). At 4am, I awoke facing the toliet, so I guess my body knew what the hell it was doing, but I didn't. The next thing I know I'm chucking up purple vomit; who knows what in the fuck that was. Anyway, I yaked for the next two hours and ended up needing to drink about 2 gallons of water before my exam. Needless to say, I basically tanked it. Fun times...fun times...
 
I had it once. I went to IHOP right by Knott's Berry Farm in CA and everyone ordered Breakfast except me, I wanted a Philly Sandwich. So we go to park, and we were okay, we went on the rides and everything and then out of no where I had to get to the bathrooms so I can projectile vomit. From then on every bathroom I passed on our way out I had to go there. I was so sick I actually let one of my friends drive my car, I never let anyone drive my car but man I just couldn't do anything I was dead to the world.

I passed out at my place for about 6 hours or so, and when I woke up I had to hit the bathroom again this time though I actually felt it move through my intestines all the way up and it was thick back nastiness in a stream so powerful I was both amazed and disgusted. I didn't know you could do that, or it was possible.

After I was done I slept for like 14 hours or so and was finally over it all. I will say when I woke up that last time I was taken out to a little restaurant and had the best chicken burrito I ever had in my life, too bad I was never able to replicate the burrito. I think it was because of how hungry I was for not eating for 2 days or so.

So long story short, order breakfast at a breakfast place.
 
The year was 2000 and I was sitting in Political Science 101.

The teacher is lecturing and the class is dead quiet.

SUDDENLY I PROJECTILE VOMIT ALL OVER THE WALL

The streak was over two feet long and bright red due to the two cans of hawaiian punch I just drank. A few more vomits and then it was hours of dry heaving.

I excused myself from class. Fortunately I had ridden with a friend that day.
 
I'm not sure If I've heard food pisoning,but every year I get that stomach bug the last year I got it or whatever it lasted a entire month of vomiting, and crapping my head off everyday. I really though I was dieing.
 
When I was in 8th grade (1999?) we had a school Thanksgiving lunch. Something was wrong with that meal, as the next day, nearly 1/3 or more of the school was absent.

I was throwing up the entire night after eating the meal, and also had a moderate fever. A few days later I had to go to the principals office because one of the cook's overheard me discussing the food poisoning. They believed it wasn't anything they served. :roll:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top