Something really bad might have just happened ...

Grave_Addiction

Grave_Addiction

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So before the big move to Guam, my oldest daughter scored extremely well on a national test in the first grade. She scored in the top 10th percentile in her grade in the entire nation, and it said she was reading at a third-grade level.

As you might have guessed, we were extremely proud and promised to get her a hamster when we moved to Guam. She's been wanting a pet for a long time.

So we finally get to Guam, get settled in and went to the pet store for the hamster. But as luck would have it, there are no hamsters to be found. The only small mammals they have in are dwarf rabbits. So after hearing her and my wife beg me to get her a rabbit, I finally cave in.

She picks this really cute little female grey rabbit. She really was damn cute.

So we brought her home, named her Samantha and she's been our pet for nearly six months now, and everything has been going pretty great ... until today.

You see, my daughter gets Samantha out to run around the house. Katelyn (My oldest daughter who owns Samantha) and Samantha are playing in the hallway when my youngest (Mackenzie) wants to play with her, too.

I'm laying on the couch, surfing the web on my laptop when I hear Mackenzie say "Daddy, she likes me!" I look over and Samantha is humping the shit out of my daughter's leg.

Samantha is not a girl.

I honestly don't know how to break this to Katelyn. She's been thinking Samantha has been a girl her entire life, and I think if I tell her that the last six months has been nothing more than a lie, it will truly fuck her up pyschologically for the rest of her life.

The last thing I need is my daughter to tell me 15 years from now that all her problems stem from the most traumatic moment in her life - the day she learned Samantha had a penis.

Damn, I mean to her, this could be the equivalent to finding out your dad likes to take it in the ass, or that your mom's a stripper or that your grandmother was a German prostitute.

Shit.
 
[quote name='Grave_Addiction']The last thing I need is my daughter to tell me 15 years from now that all her problems stem from the most traumatic moment in her life - the day she learned Samantha had a penis. [/QUOTE]

This is grade-a classic. BTW, my best friend's girlfriend has a male cat named Chloe. Her younger siblings dont care.
 
[quote name='Stoneage']The last-minute bids for thread of the year are starting to come in.[/QUOTE]

Agreed.
 
I think the question is, how did you not find out until 6 months later? Well you gotta break it down to her somehow. Get her another rabbit that looks the same or tell her the truth.

If not she'll probably share that story with the little first graders and one of them will break the news to her, making her look stupid in front of everyone and she might never trust you again.

Or you can give the rabbit away and say little samantha ran away, then buy her a new one.
 
The pet store didn't tell you or you didn't think to check when you got it? Anyways, I don't see why you would need to tell her. And I doubt there will ever come a situation where you daughter would come across this information herself.
 
Eh why don't you just get them to refer to it as Sam. If you can't manipulate young girls in the matter of a month to shorten Samantha to Sam then you really have a problem. Then after they are used to the idea of it being called Sam you can say oh yeah I think its a man rabbit. Serious problem no I don't really think so. Thread of the year absolutely not you've seen some early RegalSin posts right.
 
My sister used to have a cat named Fat Boy. Well, one day Fat Boy had kittens. The cat was the fuzziest cat I have ever seen, you could not tell whether or not it was male or female without shaving the thing.

Really though, I don't think it would screw her up for life like you think. BUT, if you think it will, just keep it to yourself. Rabbits don't live a really long time anyway, so it will be gone before she figures it out herself.
 
[quote name='dcfox']The pet store didn't tell you or you didn't think to check when you got it? Anyways, I don't see why you would need to tell her. And I doubt there will ever come a situation where you daughter would come across this information herself.[/quote]

Well, when we first bought her, the clerk tried to look but said she was too small to tell and to come back in a month or so. Shit, we called her Samantha so much, I just didn't really think much about it and just assumed she was a female.

Dude, I'm gonna have to tell her something. If this dude is gonna try to go to town on my daughters everytime we let him out, questions will be raised.

I managed to get out of it today by telling them that Samantha was trying to tickle her. That was the best I could come up with at the time.
 
[quote name='Grave_Addiction']Samantha is not a girl.

I honestly don't know how to break this to Katelyn. She's been thinking Samantha has been a girl her entire life, and I think if I tell her that the last six months has been nothing more than a lie, it will truly fuck her up pyschologically for the rest of her life. [/quote]Drama King?


Dude, tell her that everyone in the family thought Samantha was a girl, but it turns out she isn't. Explain that with animals it's often difficult to sex a young animal accurately. You have a chance to talk about nature and life and zoology with your daughter. How is that bad in anyway?

It's only going to be a big deal if YOU overreact and make it a big deal.

I had a male parrot which was sexed incorrectly by professionals and today goes by the name, Daisy. So what? They're animals. They don't care one way or another if you give them a masculine or feminine name, or if you say, "good boy" or "good girl." What matters is the tone you use to address them, and that they have their own name which they identify as their own; that's very important. So don't go switching names.

At the most if you're in some sort of a life crisis over the fact that your male bunny has a feminine name, perhaps shortening to Sam would work, but only if you've called him that before. Don't go changing names and attitudes towards him for something which isn't his fault.

[quote name='Rags']Rabbits don't live a really long time anyway, so it will be gone before she figures it out herself.[/quote]They can so long as they are regarly checked by a vet. Often rabbits can be ill for a very long time before showing any signs. And when they do, it's to the point that it's too late for them to get better. So if you do own a rabbit, take them to the vet at least once a year. Two or three times would be better.
 
Dont tell her. If she figures it out on her own, then she'd be able to understand. Its not like the gender changes the way she treats it.
 
heh, when I was six, I got a box turtle as my first pet. I too named it Samantha. One day I put it in warm water for its daily water and out came a pretty decent sized turtle penis and turtle balls (who knew...?) . I turned out all right. I just changed the name to Sam and never used warm water again..apparently that stimulates the turtle penis.
 
Dude, what's up with all the drama. I think you been watchin too much Oprah or something. The kid will never know, just don't tell her. The rabbit is not going to live forever, no harm no foul. Don't think you need to worry about emotional and mental damage 15 years from now on this one!
 
I agree that this might not be a big deal, at all. Kids can be remarkably resilient and surprise you sometimes...if you just say that it turns out that the rabbit is a boy, she'll probably get over the surprise fairly quickly and then either change the rabbit's name ...or, you could be generous and offer to exchange it...or worse, get an additional doe.

Kids can appreciate that fuzzy bunnies show no overt signs of gender. Samantha's gender doesn't make him any less cute & lovable, eh? Anyhow, I guess I second Guinaevere's view, but I'd put it a little nicer.
 
[quote name='Grave_Addiction']Well, when we first bought her, the clerk tried to look but said she was too small to tell and to come back in a month or so. Shit, we called her Samantha so much, I just didn't really think much about it and just assumed she was a female.

Dude, I'm gonna have to tell her something. If this dude is gonna try to go to town on my daughters everytime we let him out, questions will be raised.

I managed to get out of it today by telling them that Samantha was trying to tickle her. That was the best I could come up with at the time.[/quote]
I guess you can try having it fixed like someone mentioned. Other than that, can you train rabbits?
 
[quote name='dcfox']I guess you can try having it fixed like someone mentioned. Other than that, can you train rabbits?[/QUOTE]


Hack the balls. It's the only way to stop the humping.
 
I would probably just sit down and explain it to her. Like others have said, since she really likes the rabbit to begin with, I don't think this is going to change any of that, so there should be no harm in saying something.
 
[quote name='scsg75']heh, when I was six, I got a box turtle as my first pet. I too named it Samantha. One day I put it in warm water for its daily water and out came a pretty decent sized turtle penis and turtle balls (who knew...?) . I turned out all right. I just changed the name to Sam and never used warm water again..apparently that stimulates the turtle penis.[/quote]

LOL!!! I can't stop laughing at that :rofl:
 
Wait, are you 100% sure it's male? My uncle's dog was female and she humped people's legs like a male dog. Sometimes the behavior doesn't mean what you think it does.
 
[quote name='Grave_Addiction']

Damn, I mean to her, this could be the equivalent to finding out your dad likes to take it in the ass, or that your mom's a stripper or that your grandmother was a German prostitute.

Shit.[/QUOTE]

There ya go, there's your answer. Sit her down and tell her: "honey look, daddy likes other daddy's, mommy takes off her clothes for other daddys' money, and Samantha's a boy rabbit not a girl. Now, not all of those things are true so I'll let you pick which one it is and we'll go from there."
 
Maybe I'm not familiar with what sort of pet activity can traumatize a child (seeing I never had one, or rather, had one for about two weeks), but I don't see what's the big deal with just telling the kid it's a boy rabbit.

"Oh, looks like it's not a girl rabbit but a boy rabbit." Chuckle, then walk off.
 
[quote name='rodeojones903']This has to be a Joke. No normal guy would make that big of a deal about something as small as this.[/QUOTE]

I'm thinking the same thing.

OP is waaaaaaay overreacting to the situation... I can't wait to see what he'll be like when a real crisis comes up, because apparently something as small as this is already at Defcon 5.
 
OP, it's not THAT big a deal. Just tell her it's a male rabbit and tell her anything else she needs to know about the situation should the need arise. Not telling her could actually make it worse and have her really confused when she gets older.
 
Guys, I know it's not really really that big a deal. I was overreacting more out of comedy than anything else.

It's just that it caught me so offguard that I really was surprised. We're gonna tell our daughter soon, and I'm sure she won't take it badly.
 
Let's get Quak in here.

He'll know what to do.

Actually, I know what to do. Put a pancake on her head.

Problem solved.
 
dude, when my dog was like 3 years old, she tried to hump my leg, but she was a female all this time. Leg Humping doesn't mean squat to an animal. AND YES you can quote me on that!
 
[quote name='Roufuss']OP is waaaaaaay overreacting to the situation... I can't wait to see what he'll be like when a real crisis comes up, because apparently something as small as this is already at Defcon 5.[/quote]Exactly. This girl is only going to have problems because Dad has a hard time keeping things in prespective.

YOU BURNT THE TOAST?!??!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
 
Just start calling it sam for a smooth transtitioitiontion

that transition thing was unintentional. I have no idea what the fuck I was doing.
thank you and good night.
 
[quote name='smalien1']Just start calling it sam for a smooth transtitioitiontion

that transition thing was unintentional. I have no idea what the fuck I was doing.
thank you and good night.[/QUOTE]


dude, I hate it when chicks want to be called SAM when there real name is Samantha..........what's wrong with that?
 
Why are so many CAGs moving out of the country?

I say let her think its a girl then find out if it can be fixed.

[quote name='ITDEFX']dude, when my dog was like 3 years old, she tried to hump my leg, but she was a female all this time. Leg Humping doesn't mean squat to an animal. AND YES you can quote me on that![/QUOTE]

We had a female Bloodhound that tried to hump me. I was laying on the ground playing a board game with my sister. I didn't know at the time I thought she was trying to "wrestle."
 
If your kid is gonna be emotionally scared for life over something as stupid as the sex of her pet, then....well, I can't find a way to finish this thought without probably offending you immensely, so I'll just stop right now. Just tell her, and give her the old "No matter what Samantha is, she still loves you very much, blah blah blah" shpiel.
 
Well, I broke the news to her, and she actually reacted pretty close to what I thought she would.

She said, "Oh, I think I'm going to call him Joshua."

However, the hard part came when the girls kept asking us what Joshua was doing to Mackenzie's leg.
 
Since when did they have national tests for the 1st grade?

[quote name='JimmieMac']Kill the rabbitt and try again tomorrow.[/quote]

300px-Whats_Opera_Doc_still.png
 
Umm.. I had a female dog who was a lesbian and who thought she was a male.

I was fine. Jokingly tell her it's a male and name him Sammy.

Or go jump in a river when it's 27 degrees outside.

You're Beautiful, Sammy
 
[quote name='Strell']Actually, I know what to do. Put a pancake on her head.[/QUOTE]

2nded! (Except it's a he, not a she. Pay attention.)
 
[quote name='Dr Mario Kart']Since when did they have national tests for the 1st grade?


ISTEP would measure this, but not 100% acurately. His kid is probably with above average smarts for the grade she is in.
 
yeah, I don't think it will screw her up if you tell her the truth that you all made a mistake. At least you can rename the rabbit Sam...
 
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