"The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson Wrestling Thread

TNA For the Record: Our main eventers used to be major draws. Really.

This was a tremendously enjoyable show. Cornette's bit with Sting in the back where he tried to explain the main event's idiotic stip was awesome - mainly because it reminded me of something he said on the Wrestling Gold set about wishing he had the talent to present an absurd situation in such a way as to make it seem plausible. That talent would've come in handy here (or in the other 9,000 times he's had to explain the company's matches, like the DOOMSDAY CHAMBER OF BLOOD!!!!!)

The formation of My Pie Sexy was great, as was Booker T promising to beat AJ like he's his daddy, and DW choosing to do what many fans want to do - get drunk before watching Impact. This new character is just so awesome - he hates the show almost as much as many fans do, and it's impossible not to like him when Tenay's badgering like him and acting like Marcy Darcy.

This week, their act remained hilarious and led to Mick on commentary, which was good, and also led into an MEM beatdown and an intense promo from Mick later. Very effective stuff, even if it didn't really build up things for this Sunday's PPV. Unlike when they usually do that though, they still did a good job of hyping up stuff for the next PPV, instead of sacrificing building that up for the one coming in a month.

After the show, I was left with more of a desire to see Abyss face Morgan, and still wanted to see the Ultimate X and, despite a horrid main event here being used to build it, I also want to see Angle-Sting. My desire to see Joe-Steiner is about where it was before - I'm somewhat surprised that Joe's big return is relegated to the undercard of a PPV, but perhaps that's for the best, as the build to this match has been at least memorable from start to finish, and that might not be the case if they dedicated a ton of time to it. It's flourished with a well-executed, simple build, and hopefully this time, for the thousandth time, maybe TNA will learn from that and keep doing that for Joe.

Screens -










2 months ago - Frontline leader. Now...


Mick spends some time with the next woman he'll swoon over in a book -






Quotes -
Tenay - IT’S MIKE TENAY FLYING SOLO! DON WEST, WITHOUT EXPLANATION, HASN’T ARRIVED AT IMPACT!
Tenay - Jeff Jarrett has told Angle that he is NOT an active wrestler! (Jarrett comes out with his guitar and does his entrance ramp taunt w/ pyro)
(to Jarrett)BG - Let’s just go back to the hotel.
(to Sting)Cornette - I’ve got management jumping all over me - I answer to more people than just Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley.
Morgan - Where’s your retarded, half-inbred boyfriend? I’m sorry - Abyss. I’ve been watching the monitors to see if he’d answer my challenge for THE MATCH. Yeah, that’s right - the match with TEN THOUSAND TACKS!
Lauren - I can tell you the answer is NO - HE’S MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS WITH DR. STEVIE AND HE DOESN’T NEED TO MUTILATE HIS BODY ANYMORE TO MAKE A LIVING!
Morgan - Yeah, he doesn’t need to mutilate himself…but guess he does? ME! I’ve got a little message for your boyfriend (he then grabs Lauren’s ass) Relax, don’t act like you don’t like it - the Blueprint gets whatever he wants!
Velvet - What you’re looking at is the newly-formed sorority of My Pie Sexy. At Destination X, it’s on like Donkey Kong.
Angelina - JB, your mic is very…limp.
(after signing to face AJ)Booker - I’M GONNA BEAT HIM LIKE I’M HIS DADDY!
(after DW arrives)Tenay - WELL I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND THAT YOU STARTED THE SHOW WITHOUT YOU!
DW - Why’d they change the start time? NO ONE TOLD ME!
Tenay - THE SHOW STARTS THE SAME TIME EVERY WEEK! What, are we on Don West time here?
DW - My watch musta broken. I think I’m battling a flu.
Tenay - THE FLU!? What is that? A codeword for hangover?
DW - So Mike, what have we missed? What’s happened so far? (Mike Tenay then offers up more needless explanation as usual)
(on the main event)DW - That doesn’t sound very interesting.
Tenay - WELL I DON’T CARE IF IT SOUNDS INTERESTING TO YOU, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU SHOW UP LATE TO THE BROADCAST! AND IT SMELLS LIKE A BREWERY OUT HERE, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!
DW - I noticed the same thing when I walked by Dave Penzer, but I don’t like what you’re implying. HEY, A MATCH!
EY - Sting, give me the spot that Ric Flair gave you when you were just a snot-nosed blonde punk! I WANT THAT SPOT!
Sting - All right Eric, since you put it like that…how could I deny that? You got it.
Tenay - Of course it’s Matt Morgan backing down a 100 pound woman! HE’S CHOKING HER! HE’S THREATENING TO PUSH HER INTO THE TACKS!
DW - OH STOP TOWING THE COMPANY LINE! HE’S JUST TRYING TO GET ABYSS TICKED OFF, AND IT’S WORKING!
Tenay - ARE YOU DEFENDING MATT MORGAN’S ACTIONS!?
DW - Look, a woman should know her place… and the middle of that ring isn’t it, but you know their motto today - I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!
Tenay - You’re gonna be that ignorant!?
DW - It’s all the same thing!
Tenay - Why don’t you pull a DON WEST AND TAKE OFF!?
DW - You want me to leave? Fine. Truck, if ya need me, I’ll be at DA HOTEL BAR!
Tenay - Yeah!? WELL I KNOW ONE THING - YOU WON’T NEED TO ASK ANYBODY FOR DIRECTIONS!
Abyss - MATT, TONIGHT, YOU GRABBED MY GIRLFRIEND! YOU GRABBED HER BUTT! YOU TRIED TO KISS HER! AND THEN YOU TRIED TO DUMP HER INTO MY TACKS! AND THIS SUNDAY, I’M GONNA GET YOU! AT THE END OF THE MATCH OF 10,000 TACKS, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE MORE HOLES IN YOU THAN A-ROD’S STORY! ON SUNDAY, I’M GONNA AVENGE ME, MY GIRLFRIEND, AND I’M GONNA MAKE YOU MY BITCH!
Tenay - Madison Rayne is trying to grab Traci’s chest - there’s plenty to grab onto, that’s for sure!
 
TNA is promoting their tour hitting up Cleveland's Phantasy Theatre - if I recall correctly, that venue holds MAYBE 500 people. It's gotta be smaller than the Impact Zone.
 
so i remember when impact got there TV deal and the whole thing was "more wrestling less promos" out of the 5 matches on impact only one was over 5 minutes long and it was the elimination match with the dudleys.
 
Test has passed away:

PWInsider.com is sad to report that former WWE star Andrew "Test" Martin was found dead in his apartment in Tampa, Florida at the age of 33, just four days shy of his 34th birthday. We don't have much in the way of details at this time. Tampa area authorities have declined to officially confirm it is Martin they found but word within the industry has been widespread the last few hours.


http://www.pwinsider.com/ViewArticle.php?id=37176&p=1

I never cared for the guy but it's a shame to see another pro wrestler dead.
 
[quote name='keiblerfan69']It really is a shame. What does everyone think the cause is?[/quote]
It doesn't matter, the media will turn this into a steroids story in a cool minute.
 
The worst thing about this is that it's not shocking. At all.

[quote name='pitfallharry219']I actually always liked Test. It's certainly a shame if it's true.[/quote]

So you were a Testicle?
 
[quote name='neocisco']The worst thing about this is that it's not shocking. At all.[/quote]

I am surprised by it. I wouldn't be if it were Scott Hall or Sean Waltman. But with it being Test, I am shocked.



So you were a Testicle?

I was, am, and always will be.
 
Sad to hear if it's true. Reading the post on PWInsider, it seemed like he'd struggled with substance abuse before but had cleaned up his act in recent years. As is all too common in the business, all it takes is one good relapse.
 
[quote name='Iron Clad Burrito']Tangent: NPR's "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!" Podcast had John Cena on as a guest this week. He talked a bit about the business and his rise, had a bit of self-deprecating humor about his movies, and revealed that he doesn't know jack shit about figure skating.

http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/rundown.php?prgId=35&prgDate=03-07-2009&view=storyview

[/quote]

Funny you should mention that.

I was having dinner with a lady friend last night who is a NPR listener. She told me she didn't know anything about wrestling when I mentioned I was a fan a week ago and last night she said she heard Cena on NPR. She thought wrestlers would be meatheads, but she said she thought Cena was really intelligent and entertaining.
 
Damn shame to hear about Test. I'm definitely surprised by it since I never even knew he had a drug problem.

I was never a huge fan of the guy, but still. RIP.
 
[quote name='neocisco']The worst thing about this is that it's not shocking. At all.

So you were a Testicle?[/QUOTE]

I will gladly admit that I am a huge Testicle. This really sucks though, I've always been a big fan of Test, and hearing this news was on-par for me when hearing about the man with no name that used to live in Atlanta, Georgia.

I know a few people that knew him personally, they all said he was a really cool guy. It's really a shame.

As odd as it may sound, last night when I was helping my brother setup his PS3, around midnight or so, he didn't get my friend request. So, I tried sending him a message. What message would that be, from wrestling nerd to nerd? "Test, Test. This is a Test.".

R.I.P. Andrew "Test" Martin.
 
[quote name='JJSP']TNA is promoting their tour hitting up Cleveland's Phantasy Theatre - if I recall correctly, that venue holds MAYBE 500 people. It's gotta be smaller than the Impact Zone.[/QUOTE]

They're at the Cincinnati Gardens tonight - last time they were there they drew about 600-750. Which is about 1/2-1/3 what the Rollergirls draw there on average, as a means of comparison.
 
I often look at a wrestler's wikipedia page after he's passed, just to look back on their career. I was looking at Test's last night, and I completely forgot he had a very short run in TNA.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']They're at the Cincinnati Gardens tonight - last time they were there they drew about 600-750. Which is about 1/2-1/3 what the Rollergirls draw there on average, as a means of comparison.[/quote]
Wow.

I looked up pictures of the club, and it's considerably smaller than I remember. The building is split into three rooms: Phantasy Niteclub (my brother's band played one of their first shows there with a couple of thrash punk bands, a screamo band, and four guys we knew who played Blink 182 covers because the club was going to cancel the show unless FIVE bands played), The Chamber (Cleveland's "hottest goth, industrial, and techno club"), and the Theatre.

theater.jpg


That's the view from the stage. Cross the line, indeed.

I looked up tickets on Ticketmaster, and I think we've figured out the problem with TNA - they're charging $75 for a ringside seat and $20 for GA standing in the back. Assuming the ring is on the floor, the difference in price equals about 200-250 feet. Searched for best available, and sure enough, it gave me ringside seats, center of house. For what it's worth. there's a local Cleveland federation that's running the same venue next Friday night for $15 ringside/$10 GA, and you get live music from about 14 metal/hardcore bands as well.
 
[quote name='pitfallharry219']I am surprised by it. I wouldn't be if it were Scott Hall or Sean Waltman. But with it being Test, I am shocked.[/quote]
I don't know why. The guy was roided to the gills and besides that had plenty of traffic violation issues including at least one DUI. While the latter isn't necessarily the sign of the reaper approaching, he obviously didn't have his life together at all times, and certainly wasn't out of the pro wrestling death wheelhouse.

He tagged Stacy Keibler and "early days" Kelly Kelly though, so I'll salute him for that. I also enjoyed his horribly drunken Myspace post about how the Ultimate Warrior sucks and Bret Hart is the best ever.
 
Traffic violations and a dewey aren't exactly the sort of "I told you so" signs of either a career criminal or someone you would expect to die.

The steroids, though? I'll grant you that one; at least since I last saw him in the early ECW Round 2 days, he was totally gassed up. Wasn't he fired for that reason, or just because he was Test?

EDIT: From the "DON'T BLAME US!" department:

World Wrestling Entertainment® has been made aware of the passing of Andrew Martin. The WWE extends its deepest condolences to the Martin family. Mr. Martin was under contract with WWE at various time periods and performed under the name "Test." He last performed for the WWE in February 2007.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']The steroids, though? I'll grant you that one; at least since I last saw him in the early ECW Round 2 days, he was totally gassed up. Wasn't he fired for that reason, or just because he was Test?[/quote]
More or less. He was injured following major back surgery (spinal fusion), and the WWE released him 4 months after surgery. They caught a bunch of shit for it too because it's rather tasteless to release someone while they're hurt - if he were an "employee", it's a big no-no.

When he was brought into TNA, he was let go shortly after the Benoit incident thanks to the Congressional investigation into steroids and TNA fearing that he'd bring unwanted attention to their roster.

Some of the things he commented on following his release were spot-on though, making light of the ridiculous drug use in WWE (which came off at the time as a cheap way to take a few others with him after his Wellness violation).
 
[quote name='mykevermin']What are the payoffs? If you're right, I'll leave you alone. If you're wrong, you never come back to this website again.[/QUOTE]

I have an ass, perhaps you would like to kiss it.

The official Test Cause of Death betting odds.

2:1 Drug Overdose
3:1 Suicide
5:1 Heart Attack
10:1 Some assorted disease.
13:1 Shane McMahon finally got his win back.
16:1 The Kelly Kelly VD disease train claims another victim. Jericho beware!
 
I'm just offerin'. I'm rather tired of you showing up just to show up your smart mark knowledge. You might know which Waffle House in southern Alabama Kip James was caught doing a line of blow in the bathroom of, but you don't impress. You contribute nothing to the conversation except for waving your smark cock around like we care.

I care. I care this much.

Figured it was a good wager. Now I guess, since you're too chicken to take it on, I'll have to continue to put up with your "TMZ of Wrestling" posts. What a shame. What an absolute shame.
 
Hm. Definitely going to go with drug overdose. Sad to see him go, though. On a list of people who I thought would die next, his name would definitely not be on that list.
 
[quote name='JJSP']Guys, let's not rule out Rikishi. He probably did it for The Rock.[/QUOTE]

And the people. Don't forget the people.

Apparently Kelly Kelly was on the Bubba the Love Sponge show two weeks ago and she talked about dating Test. She said he was just buried in drugs and she hoped he could get help before it was too late.

Apparently in his case "too late" meant "March 13th, 2009."
 
[quote name='cdubb1605']so i remember when impact got there TV deal and the whole thing was "more wrestling less promos" out of the 5 matches on impact only one was over 5 minutes long and it was the elimination match with the dudleys.[/quote]

THIS is why I stopped watching wrestling almost completely anymore. Between the fact that HHH is the perpetual fuckin' champ in WWE every time I turn on the show to play catch up for five minutes and all of the other ridiculous shit and I see I'm still not missing much. Of course, it doesn't hurt that HHH is the bosses son-in-law either, so that kind of explains why he's perpetually a champ too.

Then you have TNA, which is like WCW was back in the day, they are the retirement home for old WWE wrestlers and kids who haven't 'made it' to the BIG league yet.

Honestly, the ONLY time wrestling was good besides it's heyday when I started watching in the 80's was back in the mid 90's when Turner and McMahon were going at it. That shit was great.

I remember seeing many, many PPV quality matches on Saturday Night's Main Event and Clash Of The Champions, most of which you won't see nowadays.

Now, if there is a title match in the main event of the weekly shows for each fed, it ends in a screwjob and ends up as another match on a $30+ PPV card.
 
Anybody who orders a PPV these days is a knucklehead. Even (especially?) Wrestlemania. Big show, sure. But it's not worth the $50-70 they charge for it. The rest of the shows blend together such that I couldn't even tell you what the main event for this past year's Survivor Series, or No Mercy, or whatever was before that was.

But damn sure I know that The Mega-Powers took on Ted DiBiase and Andre the Giant at Summerslam '88!
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Anybody who orders a PPV these days is a knucklehead. Even (especially?) Wrestlemania. Big show, sure. But it's not worth the $50-70 they charge for it. [/QUOTE]

Add $10 more for the HD feed. Plus sales tax.
 
I will remember Test for a couple of things...

His 2nd theme was, and is still one of my favorites in WWE history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6Vvqrpyy2I

I also will remember him from the HHH/Steph/Test angle which really was the being of Triple H's rise and Test's "downfall" in the business.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOZDZsEso5A

And his pairing with Stacy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWkX-MzgVS0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK3mru7u_Ak

Ultimately he just didn't have "it", but I liked him overall.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Anybody who orders a PPV these days is a knucklehead. Even (especially?) Wrestlemania. Big show, sure. But it's not worth the $50-70 they charge for it. The rest of the shows blend together such that I couldn't even tell you what the main event for this past year's Survivor Series, or No Mercy, or whatever was before that was.

But damn sure I know that The Mega-Powers took on Ted DiBiase and Andre the Giant at Summerslam '88![/quote]

Elizabeth's itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini! (At least according to Hogan's pre-SS promos.) Seeing that as a kid, my jaw hit the floor.

I'd actually forgotten about WM coming up in a few weeks. Nice buildup, Vince.
 
My favorite thing about Test was the fact that he reminded me of the boss of the first level of Streets of Rage 2.

I think you guys are selling WM short. Yes, the buildup sucks but there are enough bright spots to make me consider finding a bar/restaurant that's ordering it.

Taker/HBK should be stellar barring any injuries to either aging wrestler.

Jeff/Matt Hardy has potential if they can work long matches (I can't think of any at the moment).

Edge/Cena/Show seems promising if they really let TBS abuse his two much smaller opponents. I don't want him to win but I want him to dominate most of the match, bust open both Cena and Edge, etc. Think 2006 ECW Champion Big Show.

Finally there's the MITB match. I'm not thrilled with the wrestlers that got in but having some power guys vs. six or eight lightweight, flippy types could freshen up the usual spotfest-type matches we've seen in the past.

I'm not going to be paying for it but I think it could be worth the time investment.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Anybody who orders a PPV these days is a knucklehead. Even (especially?) Wrestlemania. Big show, sure. But it's not worth the $50-70 they charge for it. [/quote]


I watch them for free. My friend orders and I freeload off of him. No way would I pay for the shows.
 
Last edited:
I'd like to see the same thing with Big Show, but i suspect we'll see something like Show landing the knockout punch on Cena, Edge dumping Show out of the ring, then pinning Cena. Big Show seems to be falling into the trap of having an unclear direction for his character, slowly drifting back to the more humorous side (which dont get me wrong, he also does very well) rather than the serious threat he's been since after the Mayweather stuff was over.
 
Michaels/Taker is the one match that I really want to see. Jeff/Matt has piqued my curiosity but that's about it. MitB easily has it's worst lineup yet and I'll be very surprised if anyone but MVP wins it. I have no interest in either title match since the winner is as obvious as the ginormous beak on HHH's face, not to mention practically all the wrestlers involved bore me to tears. I'll watch for my first match on a feed but no way am I sitting in a restaurant for 4 hours to catch 1 or 2 matches. Actually order the WM PPV? :rofl:
 
I wish to see Kofi Kingston win only cause I cheered him when he was down here down south. But I highly doubt it. I was happy to see him win against Jericho how ever. Shame no Tyson Kidd on the bill. :/
 
[quote name='Logg']I still think its weird how New Jack is still alive. I have that documentary but yet to watch it.[/QUOTE]
2292041492_8614a70128.jpg


terryfunk6do.jpg
 
Funk came to mind, but as far as I know was never into the drugs. Jake on the other hand LOL pretty OBV but some how still kicking.
 
Well Jake has that Keith Richards level tolerance at this point. I'd prefer this stop happening so much, but , I'd put some still active guys at more risk (Steiner,Angle) than Jake Roberts.
 
Haku's Wiki]Fifita made a name for himself outside the ring as the toughest wrestler of his era and is known for allegedly biting off noses said:
They don't make them like they used to.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']You oversold that joke.

WWE.gif
[/quote]

Heh.

[quote name='JJSP']They don't make them like they used to.[/quote]

That's one of the essential rules of life. Don't mess with large Pacific Islanders.
 
[quote name='JJSP']They don't make them like they used to.[/quote]

Heh, no shit. That's pretty badass.
 
bread's done
Back
Top