The "Big Lazy" Kevin Nash Wrestling Thread

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So, just to understand this, there are currently about four matches announced for the PPV this Sunday... instead of announcing more matches on Raw, they only announced a stipulation that adds HHH to the SummerSlam main event and basically focused on that for most of the show. This company is nothing if not predictable.
 
I buy pay per views to see the referees.

Some people think all signs point to a swerve, that Triple H will, with the help of Dynamic Dude (skateboard interference?), crown a new "corporate" champion. We'll be back to 1999 in no time, and by 2013, Triple H will be revealed as the "higher power" behind the corporate ministry. Or he'll be the Raw GM, whatever.

"IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!" As the crowd tepidly murmurs "no shit."

I see things differently. Clearly the man walking out of Summerslam with the title is Triple H himself. He'll kick-wham-pedigree everybody in sight and walk out with one or both belts at the end of the show, and we'll have WOWEE ZOWEE CHAMP VERSUS CHAMP VERSUS CHAMP at the next Pay Per View!

Spy vs Spy ruled, Spy vs Spy vs Spy not so much.

You ever try to make some sarcastic comment about WWE (like I did above), but think to yourself "wait, the more I think about the ridiculous premise I just wrote, the more I think WWE would be willing to really try to do that"? That's how I feel about Triple H carrying the belt out at SS. Totally 35% chance.
 
I hate to admit it, but I'd totally watch a Spy vs. Spy vs. Spy feud with Punk, Cena, and HHH. No matches, just a series of vignettes like the Crash Holly, Hardcore Champion days. Make them as ridiculous as possible, and my only requirement is that no matter where they take place (ON PLANE! IN A RIVER! 65 MILLION YEARS AGO!), Cena never, ever changes his clothes. Also, kneepads. I mean, fuck it, right? If the company obviously thinks the matches are secondary, it's a logical endpoint. Plus, anyone who says they wouldn't tune in to watch John Cena (w/ kneepads) and HHH take on the tag team of CM Punk and a Tyrannosaurus Rex is a god damned liar.
 
If i had to guess I would say they are waiting out the week to see how Rey feels and then they can just add in the announcers talking about Rey/Miz to Smackdown. I would say maybe Truth/Morrison, Ziggler/Riley, Bryan/Barrett too but god knows how much time they are saving for Cee Lo Green.
 
Vignette for new TNA star Jessie Godderz of Big Brother fame, known as Mr. Pec-Tacular. He brags about how good he looks, cuts in front of other wrestlers at catering and flirts with the Knockouts.
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...really, TNA? Wait 90 days and hire the real Chris Masters if you need to run this tired gimmick.
 
[quote name='Habbler']Also I miss the XFL.[/QUOTE]

Named my fantasy team Los Angeles Xtreme in honor of them. Thanks for the Samoa Joe flashback too.

Also, I'm completely uninterested in WWE now. They had me for a week. HHH needs to keep his giant nose out of wrestling and just be a boss. Anybody else expecting a "HHH crowns himself champion" swerve? Oh, that'd only fly in TNA, nevermind.
 
[quote name='JJSP']...really, TNA? Wait 90 days and hire the real Chris Masters if you need to run this tired gimmick.[/QUOTE]
I don't think I can ever recall a time where Chris Masters showed any signs of charm or charisma...
 
FWIW, and I know there's the whole "card subject to change", but a Raw house show will be here on the 28th and they are advertising "WWE champion" Jeeeeeeeoooooooooon Cena vs Del Rio.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']xilly, I kinda see what you're saying, but all titles need to be rebuilt, honestly. Not just the midcard.

There is some intelligence in pointing to MMA and weight class popularity. Wrestling needs to discover that size doesn't matter to fans. George St. Pierre is one of the most over dudes in UFC, and he's average height and weight. 5'10", 170.

But we know that you're right. AJ Styles in WWE would be treated the same way Dean Malenko was in WWE. Yeah, they gave him a title, but he was a nobody. His only WWE feud was with Lita. The guy could make them money, but he's not 6'3" and 220 lbs.

fuck, WWE had Matt Morgan and the best they could do with him was "hey, you...stutter for us." As much as I'm not a huge fan of "The Blueprint" (though it's a great name), it's a fuckload better than Matt Morgan, resident stutterin' retard (in that people will pay money to see someone who isn't a stuttering retard).[/QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more, but they've gotten over the message that the Big Gold Belt and the WWE Pinwheel Championship are the important belts, but the other belts don't matter at all. Think about guys who are past wrestlers, or are in the WWE Hall of Fame who never held shit for championships: Roddy Piper? Million Dollar Man? Mr. Perfect? Rick Rude? Rick Martel? Tito Santana? Big Boss Man? Bam Bam Bigelow? These were all guys who were Intercontinental or 1/2 of the Tag Champs at their highest peak, with Bam Bam never holding a single title during his WWE run. None of these guys were ever really "stars" according to the Michael Cole analogy, and it's a fucking shame because back then they knew how to build "stars". Wrestling is dying a slow painful death, and it's because no one gives a shit about making *EVERYONE* seem important in their own right. Also, [quote name='Ansé Solis']Some videos, completely out of any type of context.[/QUOTE] My favorite posts you make are the ones where you don't make any at all.
 
[quote name='xilly']Also, My favorite posts you make are the ones where you don't make any at all.[/QUOTE]

Apart from the fact the films I pointed out are pretty great, I'm just going to assume you're just jealous of me.
 
As noted before, Melina was not allowed into the building at last night's WWE RAW in San Jose. The feeling was that there would have been major drama about her release if they would have let her into the backstage area. The entire WWE security team was informed not to allow her entry. There was a concern that Melina would physically cause a problem backstage.

Also as noted earlier, WWE officials weren't happy with Melina joining John Morrison over the weekend at RAW live events. Officials are very down on Morrison over the incident, feeling that it was a huge breach of backstage etiquette.

Morrison's current deal with WWE is up in a few months and the recent heat adds to speculation that WWE won't resign him. One source adds that Melina may have burnt her bridge with WWE after her reactions online to being released.
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I hope to God that Morrison doesn't get resigned. fuck him, and fuck her! Melina's release should've been a package deal. 2 for one!

In other news, there's rumors that Brock Lesnar may be in WWE 12.
 
Just so you guys know, Flair did an interview a few weeks ago saying he'd probably return at No Surrender to face either Angle or Sting, whoever won the belt at the PPV. Keep that in mind when reading the spoilers for Impact the next few weeks. ;)
 
I'll admit, WWE had me for a hot second with the 'omg two champions' thing, but in classic WWE form they take a potentially interesting angle and reduce it to the usual garbage they put out. Then again, the average wrestling viewer(i.e. not those in this thread) has the attention span of a kid with ADD, so I suppose given what the WWE has to work with with a good portion of it's fanbase this is about the 'best' they could come up with.
 
Raw ratings last night: 3.09, down nearly 7% from last week's similarly unspectacular 3.30.

Now, how can we blame this on everyone but WWE booking itself? Easy; Punk ruined the angle.
 
[quote name='Ansé Solis']Save that video for something that's actually relevant.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, like Hogan winning the TNA title.
 
fucking TNA, man.

Regarding TNA's financial status, it's said that they are "in the black", which means they have a positive net income, and are in no danger of shutting down. At the same time, there are concern about financial issues in the company.

The new TNA event sponsorship deal with Direct Auto Insurance is worth millions and obviously has helped the company a great deal.

TNA made several main office releases over the weekend. Unbelievably, one of those releases was the man responsible for bringing the company the multi-million dollar deal with Direct Auto Insurance.
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fuckING TNA.
 
I'd like to see this, but only time will tell:

- As noted before, The Baltimore Sun wrestling writer Kevin Eck has been hired by WWE for the creative team. Eck will be the person that works with Triple H on talent grooming that we have wrote about recently. Word is that Eck will start with WWE the day after SummerSlam.

- Triple H is serious on introducing new talents through vignettes and promos. It's also being said that Triple H is interested in reviving the WWE Tag Team division. Word is that they are really starting to recruit tag teams and see if some names are under contract to other promotions.

There has been talk internally about The Brisco Brothers but they are signed to Ring of Honor. There has also been a lot of talk about TNA's Beer Money and bringing them in once they are able to get away from TNA.

Regarding the Kings of Wrestling - Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli coming, the talk is that they will indeed be brought in together as a tag team and not singles wrestlers.
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[quote name='Purple Flames']I'd like to see this, but only time will tell:[/QUOTE]

Beer money would be an amazing pick up that could give the tag division some cred, especially if they are actually allowed to use the beer money gimmick.

Question though. Is HHH actually in charge now? I figured it was just on the show, but what you quoted made it sound like he is actually the man running the company behind the scenes now.
 
[quote name='Mr. Beef']fucking TNA, man.[/QUOTE]

I refuse to believe they're in the black. The only revenue streams they have that can generate any money are sponsorships like that. PPVs don't turn a profit, they paper their bimonthly show so there's no ticket revenue, and I can't imagine house shows draw much profit - and even in the event they do, they can't compensate for all the other costs.

[quote name='pitfallharry219']WWE didn't make Chris Harris show up fat and out of shape.[/QUOTE]

Too much Skyline Chili.

That news about WWE is all well and good - but again, I'll believe it when I see it.
 
An excerpt from the Observer Newsletter regarding some TNA wrestlers.

Regarding the Hardys, those at TNA are trying to get them to check into rehab, but they’ve refused, and that’s why they haven’t been brought back.

Samoa Joe at this point has been talking seriously at looking at getting into WWE when his contract expires, which is several months away.

It’s not as noticeable because of their gear, but both former members of 3-D have dropped tremendous weight and are in the best condition of their careers, even though both are pushing 40. Devon has gone from 305 and is now hovering at about 238 and wants to get below 230.
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It's frustrating hearing about the Hardys refusing rehab. One of my favorite tag-teams is destroying themselves.
 
Devon is down to 238? Wow. I knew Bubba had dropped a lot of weight but didn't realize Devon had dropped that much.

No offense, Beef, but screw the Hardys. They still have farther to fall if they still haven't realized they're quickly pissing away what careers they have left. BTW, does anyone know what is it that Matt is allegedly having problems with?
 
[quote name='neocisco']Devon is down to 238? Wow. I knew Bubba had dropped a lot of weight but didn't realize Devon had dropped that much.

No offense, Beef, but screw the Hardys. They still have farther to fall if they still haven't realized they're quickly pissing away what careers they have left. BTW, does anyone know what is it that Matt is allegedly having problems with?[/QUOTE]

Bojangles and Cook Out.
 
[quote name='ced']238 pounds... or a lean, mean, buff, cut, ripped chiseled and jaaaacked 238 pounds?[/QUOTE]

Thank God. I thought I was gonna have to post that. :applause:
 
[quote name='mitch079']Those cheddar bo's are a killer.[/QUOTE]

Real talk, do they still sell those? I partook of one or two back around 2005 before all the Bojangles I saw took them off the menu. Is it a secret item now?

You guys are wrong about Matt Hardy though, his vice has always been volcano tacos.

Still, I'm very happy to hear about the Dudleys (yes, I'll still always call them that) are doing well and seem poised to extend their careers beyond what I would have inspected when they were causing near-riots all over ECW.
 
All kidding aside, food is the only thing it can be. Dude lives in the fucking sticks and there is no way his fat ass is hooked on ice.
 
Part of the reason I don't mind the Dudleys getting pushed as singles - they are putting a lot of work into it and not coasting like some of the other veterans. (or even a younger guy like Anderson - look at him now compared to when he first showed up in TNA)
 
I echo whoever said 'fuck the Hardys. It's the complete lack of self-awareness that bothers me, which is pretty much number one on the addict playlist. I'm just shocked that TNA took this long to give up on them.

As wrestlers, I'd almost say they're done. TNA doesn't seem to want much to do with them, and that's fucking saying something. I actually give TNA some credit for basically writing Jeff off entirely after that Sting match. I really thought they'd sweep it under the rug, so it's a pleasant surprise.

As far as WWE... well, it's pretty telling when 'company man' JR slams the door in his blog. He's always the never-say-never-in-wrestling guy, but it was only recently that he was asked if he could ever see Hardy coming back to WWE, and the answer was a pretty firm 'yeah, I don't see a scenario in which that'll happen'.

Unless he cleans up enough for TNA, I'd say it'll end up being indies or bust for the Hardys. Jeff's a big name, but he's sincerely not worth the headache.
 
[quote name='diddy310']Part of the reason I don't mind the Dudleys getting pushed as singles - they are putting a lot of work into it and not coasting like some of the other veterans.[/QUOTE]

Imagine what TNA would look like as a company if the talent had the work ethic of those two.

There's a lot of responsibility to be placed on the promotion for being awful - but like pitfallharry said about Chris Harris, he has nobody but himself to blame for showing up for WWE looking like Mama Cass. Similarly, you may not get pushed by TNA, or worse, you might get crazy over and then yanked from TV like everyone who isn't former WWF/WCW talent - but out some fuckin' effort into what you do. So many guys there with potential who are just going through the motions.

To be upstaged by Bubba and Devon says a lot about the roster as well as those two themselves. Two guys who I had all but written off as long, loooong expired in pro wrestling taking themselves in new directions, focusing on self-improvement, and succeeding incredibly all the way - that's hella impressive.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']...about Chris Harris, he has nobody but himself to blame for showing up for WWE looking like Mama Cass.[/QUOTE]

I actually lol'd at that mental picture. The Wildcat in a muumuu. Yowza.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']
To be upstaged by Bubba and Devon says a lot about the roster as well as those two themselves. Two guys who I had all but written off as long, loooong expired in pro wrestling taking themselves in new directions, focusing on self-improvement, and succeeding incredibly all the way - that's hella impressive.[/QUOTE]

I was just talking about this with my dad. Devon and Bubba seem to be giving it their all lately. They've always been pretty decent on the microphone, and now they're bringing their in-ring product up too. And they're doing it as singles wrestlers. Who would have ever thought that Bubba Ray and Devon would be in the "world title hunt" and be some of the better wrestlers in that hunt?
 
About the Hardy Boys I must agree. fuck it, you can only hope a person abusing themselves eventually sees the error of their ways. Hell Jeff has been fired from WWE before, arrested, and now TNA won't use the guy til he enters rehab. Not to mention the fact he has a fucking child. Matt, hell part of me wonders how much of Matt even cares to be in the ring anymore, he doesn't take care of his body, and has made no effort to do anything in YEARS.

Don't get me wrong, I wish they would both clean up and get back on track, but I don't see that happening.
 
I haven't been keeping up w/ the thread lately, but Greatest Cage Matches is back up on Netflix. Rey Mysterio's documentary is as well (Matches are not included). Both are 117 minutes.
 
Look at it this way, if there's ever a Beyond The Mat 2 filmed, then the Hardys will take Jake Roberts place in the documentary(pissin' in a garbage can while overlooking the crowd in the fine barn they're wrestling in that day for a box of Ho-Ho's and a carton of smokes).
 
[quote name='mykevermin']So many guys there with potential who are just going through the motions.

To be upstaged by Bubba and Devon says a lot about the roster as well as those two themselves. Two guys who I had all but written off as long, loooong expired in pro wrestling taking themselves in new directions, focusing on self-improvement, and succeeding incredibly all the way - that's hella impressive.[/QUOTE]

I think that's exactly why they are doing what they're doing. The Dudleys see that no one else is even trying because (let's be honest, why should they?) so they stepped their game up, cause much like ECW, they want to see the company they're in succeed.
 
The Dudleys are both smart enough to know that nothing they do is going to help TNA succeed, but Bubba's wanted this run for a long time, and now that he got it, he's really stepped up his game in every way. Kudos to him for being one of the few guys in TNA to give a shit and not have his spirit crushed by the company's idiocy.
 
How long until we read about Heath getting Future endeavored?

"When he grabbed me I immediately tried to grab his arms back," security officer Corinne Oliver said. Oliver said it was the worst moment of her life. "And I was saying ‘Turn me a loose.' He wouldn't turn me loose," she said. That's when she said the professional wrestler put her in a choke hold. "I just started fighting with him, trying to get his arm from around my throat," Oliver said. She said as she struggled to get away, Slater kept "begging me to go to his room with him," Oliver said. Oliver said she managed to get away and was later able to identify her attacker as Slater."

http://www.cagesideseats.com/2011/8...used-of-assaulting-a-woman-at-wrestlemania-27
 
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