The "Big Lazy" Kevin Nash Wrestling Thread

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I just still can't comprehend the fact that TNA is seriously booking towards Sting/Hogan. I just can't.
 
[quote name='davo1224']This JCW pay-per-view is a cross between amazing and fantasy booked hell.[/QUOTE]

Recap! Recap! Recap!

Or I'll hit up wikipedia. Some Juggalo must've written up a piece for it by now.
 
[quote name='007']I just still can't comprehend the fact that TNA is seriously booking[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter what the rest of the sentence is, I do not believe you are being honest with us.

You can comprehend that TNA is booking towards something atrocious.

You just don't want to admit that a company can be so consistently inept.
 
HJ was built up like a noting PPV and delivered. Lots of boring matches, although it did have four good ones in the X Title match, the six-man tag, the tag title match, and the main event. TWO SCHOOLBOY FINISHES on one show. And a DQ to set up RVD-Lynn at either NS or BFG, which will definitely be better than RVD-Crimson. Storm actually has a more contrived setup for a flatliner than even Crimson with his new Kryptonite Krunch-setup into one.

I was really impressed by the main event. It was Sting's best singles match since coming back in March, although he debuted a new singlet that still looks terrible and generic - like something his kids made for him as a CAW and he thought "YEAH, LET'S MAKE THAT!". Kinda dig the greyish-purple color though. Sting using Angle's finishers on him came off better than usual since he actually executed them really well. Angle did the same with Sting's moves, and even sold his own ankle during the death lock. Everything was rolling along nicely until the finish, which really wasn't needed and didn't help anything. Hogan looked sad doing everything in slow motion, Angle came off like a hypocrite, and Sting's reign ended super-quick. It's a shame Angle's first world title win in years came at such a nothing show, because it should've been at an important one. This does get the title off of Sting and onto Angle, which means world title matches will be good again, and Sting-Hogan at BFG can be for control of the company instead of the title.
 
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Wow that was the worst TNA ppv I've seen in a long time. I think most of it was the dead ass impact zone, they gotta get out of that shithole fast! The 3 way X-division match was good, and Sting actually can really go still. I'm sure most of it was because he knew he was in there with a machine like Angle, but it was better than I expected. Everything else was shit.
 
[quote name='diddy310']http://rajah.com/base/node/23807

The role of Sin Cara may be played by Hunico for the rest of the Wellness Violation.[/QUOTE]

DAMNIT, JUST END SIN CARA.

Unrelated, I will probably not join in with y'all until the last half an hour or so tonight. I go back to night shifts starting this week. Bleh.
 
[quote name='diddy310']http://rajah.com/base/node/23807

The role of Sin Cara may be played by Hunico for the rest of the Wellness Violation.[/QUOTE]

Rey was wise to cover himself in unique tattoos.

That's what's wrong with the big companies use of masked wrestlers. It's more about the mask than it is the person behind it. Look at TNA and the totally shitty Suicide character.
 
[quote name='Trakan']My whole point was that WWE does the same shit yet nobody says anything.[/QUOTE]

Because it's been that way for six years. We know what we're getting. People expect more from TNA, whose entire premise is "LOOK! WE'RE NOT WWE!"
 
[quote name='diddy310']http://rajah.com/base/node/23807

The role of Sin Cara may be played by Hunico for the rest of the Wellness Violation.[/QUOTE]

2 questions here:

1>What the hell is a Hunico? Sounds like a latin musical instrument,

2>If the Sin Cara gimmick fails, and nobody ever really gave 2 shits to start with, did it really ever happen?
 
[quote name='Survivalism']Because it's been that way for six years. We know what we're getting. People expect more from TNA, whose entire premise is "LOOK! WE'RE NOT WWE!"[/QUOTE]

I think TNA is the "worse" of the two because they're hardly a profitable company (you're out of your mind if you think they're in the black). WWE's quarterly profits are pretty consistent year over year. Something will break for them eventually - either they'll find the magical angle to make wrestling huge again (n.b.: CM Punk is not that angle), or they'll have a quarter or two of massive losses before they restructure. The only reason WWE is solvent is because they keep bumping prices up. $5, $10 there - PPV costs and ticket prices are rising, but revenues are flat because PPV buys (save WM27) and ticket sales are down across the board.

Point is, WWE is profitable, and they have no real incentive to change at the moment. They're chugging along the good ship monotone, putting out the same shit week after week - every now and again showing a glint of genius, only to realize that mistake and cover it up within the next 2 weeks.

TNA has every reason to throw caution to the wind. And yet they bring in talent who are parasites - there to suck out huge money contracts and offer little in return. RVD is at the laziest point in his career, Hogan and Bischoff bring *nothing* (absolutely fucking *nothing*) to the table, unless you think TNA's ratings would have gone down over the past 18 months or so (they sure haven't gone up), Mister Anderson is a waste, and he's still a better investment than anyone with the last name "Hardy." There are some great talents there (Bully Ray's work is woefully underappreciated, for starters). But the booking is fucking atrocious when it doesn't need to be; they're unwilling to take risks with the product, to do anything to differentiate it from WWE. I know they think it's unique because they have the off-angle camera shit they do in backstage interviews, or because it's not blue instead of Red. But it's not just old wine in new bottles, it's shitty old wine in a broken bottle. It's 55-year-old Carlos Rossi in a Boone's Farm bottle.

This is the company that has run off: Young Bucks, Jay Lethal, Chris Daniels, Amazing Red; the company who turned Samoa Joe from the hottest free agent in wrestling (hotter than Punk if you don't recall, and if you disagree you're looking with rose colored lenses) into a lazy fat uninteresting sack of fuck; the company who fucked Daffney on her medical bills; the company that booked Destination X to fail by putting fucking Abyss in the main event, so on and etc. And this company wants to build towards Hulk Hogan versus Sting.

HULK HOGAN VERSUS STING. IN TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVEN.

No. fucking. Excuse.
 
I agree with a lot of what you said, myke. I think you're high as fuck if you think WWE is putting out a better product though. I guess I can see you preferring it over TNA, though I disagree. "They're profitable" or "they've been this way for six years already" is no excuse in my book. I'd rather take Hogan vs. Sting in 2011 than a Cole/Lawler feud. I'd rather watch a roster that I enjoy.

TNA needs to cut a lot of dead weight though. While I still would rather watch them, I've been losing interest lately.
 
[quote name='Trakan']I'd rather take Hogan vs. Sting in 2011 than a Cole/Lawler feud.[/QUOTE]

So you'd rather take the main event TNA is doing today over a midcard feud WWE did three months ago? That's like saying "I'd rather eat the worst thing at McDonald's than the best thing out of the garbage." What good is a great roster when it's being buried in favor of Hulk Hogan in 2011?
 
I'm pretty sure the reason TNA has guys like Hogan, RVD, Anderson and Flair is because of Spike TV. Hogans name itself is worth something. If it was about just having all young guys who the average wrestling fan doesn't know, then ROH would be on national TV network right now and not airing at 1am on a local Sinclair affiliate. TNA right now is just like WCW was when I was a kid growing up on it. I remember going to house shows back in 90/91 and there'd only be 800-1100 people there, just like TNA is now. Everybody shits on Russo, but all the guy is doing is writing the angles. The storylines aren't that bad, I want to know who is booking the shit right now. That's the guy making all mistakes by having gimmick matches every week on regular tv.

The reason why TNA is better than the WWE product is because it's more original. You can watch TNA and not know what is going to happen or what's going to be said. I can turn on Raw tonight and tell you everything that's going to happen. You've got agents putting the same generic BS matches together every week, failed hollywood writers writing promos for wrestlers. If you think Russo is writing Austin Aries promos on Impact, you're f'n crazy.
 
Kevin Nash was on local radio here in Cleveland if anyone cares. Even if you're not the biggest Nash fan it was a pretty cool interview that went on for over an hour where he talks about things like the Finger Poke of Doom, the Ultimate Warrior, and his wine preferences. You also get to hear his "biggest fan"'s band Double Murder Suicide. Here is a link to their podcast:

http://www.wmms.com/cc-common/podcast/single_page.html?podcast=TheAlanCoxShow

The Nash stuff ends on the first page, but I think the early segments are on the second page.
 
EDIT: :rofl: at Double Murder Suicide.

[quote name='Trakan']I agree with a lot of what you said, myke. I think you're high as fuck if you think WWE is putting out a better product though.[/QUOTE]

I'm not saying WWE is a better product. I am saying that WWE's stagnance is of no surprise to me, while I simply can not grasp why TNA continues to do what they do with their product.

WWE's profitability makes it mildly sensible. "Why fix what ain't broke?" as the saying goes, yes? Well, we all disagree on what is "broke" about the product. For Vince McMahon, the product is broken when he stops making money. It doesn't matter if people want to tune in and watch Ahmed Johnson reading Berenstein Bears books, if that's what draws in revenue he'll do it. Unless it's pro wrestling, of course - then fuck no.

TNA has so much potential - and like you point out time and again lawd a'mighty they have a far better roster on paper. It's a matter of TNA being an unprofitable waste of potential that makes them a bigger disappointment in my eyes. If I had two children who were both earning straight C's on their report cards, if one of them had the potential for straight A's I would not be equally disappointed in how both performed, would I? I don't think so.
 
If you're too good for a fan when you wrestle in front of a crowd roughly the size of McDonald's 2nd shift, then you. Good thing he's dead.Wow. A tad harsh don't you think?
 
Myke, I agree with just about everything but why such hate on the Hardys? Say what you will about them post the team x-treme days, and certainly now that they're retarded on the internet, but back then they were credible and entertaining to watch in the ring.

Long winded rant here, tl;dr - ignore the spoiler if you don't want to read some random babbling and thoughts about TNA and wrestling in general.

The conflict I've always had with TNA is it seems like they've always had decent ideas about getting guys to matter, but then had no idea what to do with them once they DID matter. Even before they started hiring ex-WWE names, they started burying guys that were good to watch once they had hit that mark where people turned in to see them.

At the time when Impact first started showing up on Spike I used to dig it quite a bit, and there was a lot to like. Abyss is probably the first "big" guy I've ever really enjoyed watching do his thing. They've always had some guys come through the ranks that I really can say I used to enjoy watching. Sonjay Dutt, AJ Styles, Chris Daniels, Robert Roode, Jay Lethal, Monty Brown, Homocide, Kaz, Petey Williams, Matt Morgan, and so many more. It's just a shame that they've let their writing and booking turn into the shit fest that it is now.

What's worse? TNA guys are totally fucked. WWE would never want any of them, and a lot of them are way too good for the shit pile they're forced to take part in now. Could you imagine if AJ Styles was picked up by the E and actually allowed to be as good as he can be? I could see so many great matches with him and Evan Bourne, Dolph Ziggler, even Zack Ryder. Sonjay, Lethal, Kaz, etc. These guys could really fit well on the current roster, and clear out some space currently inhabited by people that 95% of the world couldn't care less about seeing. I couldn't tell you the name of a single member of the "Corre" if you held a gun to my head - but I could tell you that seeing Kofi Kingston vs Jay Lethal would be a very entertaining match. Matt Morgan vs Brian Danielson? Rey Mysterio vs Kazarian? Abyss vs Mark Henry?

There's just so many damn what if and never was-es that this is a really shitty time to be a wrestling fan due to how stale and ridiculous the product is. It's funny that you mention Bubba being so under used. It's a shame too, because he's one of the best guys both in the ring and on the mic, and he's been booked in an incredibly wasteful way most of his career. If someone had actually put some stock in him, I have a feeling he'd be a much bigger star than any of us could ever imagine.

TNA on the other hand, wastes all that time building up Samoa Joe with the Goldberg gimmick, make him look unstoppable and then have him get beaten in a regular match just seems like such a waste. If you build someone up to be a monster, hand them their first loss like Foley did with the Rock - Park a fucking forklift on him. I know that wasn't Rock's first loss, but do something that would take a feat of IMPOSSIBLE human strength to restrain him, and then you can book opponents figuring him out and dismantling him. Because of that, Samoa Joe never really meant shit to me, and I always found him to be boring as hell. Add his often times very stiff ring work to the mix and I usually ignored his matches (unless he was in the ring with someone like Christian who could make him look good.) The MMG's also don't do anything for me, despite having some great matches with Generation Me and Beer Money.

Sorry that this is so long winded, but it's just a lot of thoughts that I've never written down. Jeff Jarrett knows how much of a non-draw these people are, so why the fuck would he ever have allowed any of these people to come into his company? I'd go out on a limb right now and say that the best (and only good) acquisition TNA ever got was Kurt Angle and the problem with that? They've never had anyone to really book him against. He had some decent matches with Joe, but who else? Sting? Sure, Sting is good and could make anyone look good in the ring, so Angle really gains nothing there. I'd love to see them push Bully Ray to the top cause I think he'd have some good matches with Angle. Could you imagine Bubba Dudley as World Heavyweight Champion of anything? Would be awesome, imo.

The thing both WWE and TNA need to do DESPERATELY is bring back emphasis to the mid card titles. Instead of making the IC/US/TV titles placeholders, make the matches mean something. Like the weight divisions in UFC, have the guys who aren't retarded huge putting on world class shows and quit wasting everyone's time by having a bunch of belts that hold zero meaning, because all you're doing is essentially separating the rest of the roster from the 5 or 6 guys who constantly go after the "real belt".

I really wish TNA would get fucking rid of the HUGE amount of dead weight on their roster. They're barely using some of these douchebags, and I'm sure several of them are making way too much money for doing next to nothing and continuing to do zero for ratings. Looking at their roster, I'd axe: Hogan/Bischoff, Flair, Mr. Anderson, RVD (who I love, but he barely tries in the ring now), The Hardys (who just like RVD are terrible to watch now and barely ever try these days), Shannon Moore (who's always sucked), Jesse Neal, Rob Terry, Magnus, Robbie E (who?), Anarquia (who was ass in OVW), Hernandez (who was always the shitty half of LAX), Scott Steiner (No explanation needed), and kill off that terrible ass Suicide character which was only ever created so Daniels could be on TV after they "fired" Curry Man. It's waaaay past it's life cycle. I'd also add half the chicks, but from what I've heard, they're doing some of the best "wrestling" in the company right now.
 
WWE can afford to be stagnant crap because TNA isn't anywhere near challenging them for the wrestling dollar. TNA cannot - they absolutely, positively need to revolutionize the business to stay relevant.

In August/September of 1997, Hogan and Sting began a feud over the WCW title. Hogan was 43 then, and the in-ring work pretty much sucked between them. 14 years later, it appears that we're headed for Hogan/Sting yet again, except this time Hulk is 57, Sting is 52, and they're both several knee and back surgeries worse than they were back then. There's absolutely NO reason why Hogan should be in the ring, and Sting, though he can still look decent in the ring from time to time, should be putting over the young talent that will still be wrestling in five years.
 
[quote name='pimpster4183']I'm pretty sure the reason TNA has guys like Hogan, RVD, Anderson and Flair is because of Spike TV. Hogans name itself is worth something. If it was about just having all young guys who the average wrestling fan doesn't know, then ROH would be on national TV network right now and not airing at 1am on a local Sinclair affiliate. TNA right now is just like WCW was when I was a kid growing up on it. I remember going to house shows back in 90/91 and there'd only be 800-1100 people there, just like TNA is now. Everybody shits on Russo, but all the guy is doing is writing the angles. The storylines aren't that bad, I want to know who is booking the shit right now. That's the guy making all mistakes by having gimmick matches every week on regular tv.

The reason why TNA is better than the WWE product is because it's more original. You can watch TNA and not know what is going to happen or what's going to be said. I can turn on Raw tonight and tell you everything that's going to happen. You've got agents putting the same generic BS matches together every week, failed hollywood writers writing promos for wrestlers. If you think Russo is writing Austin Aries promos on Impact, you're f'n crazy.[/QUOTE]

Once Russo came along the X division became absolute shit, the main event became filled with old guys who could no longer go, and the tag division became non-existent. Styles, Daniels, and Joe were the heart of the company flanked by quality talent like Sabin, Shelly, Cage, Steiner, and Rhyno. They had a good thing going and then he came in and everything went to shit.
 
[quote name='CaseyRyback']Once Russo came along the X division became absolute shit, the main event became filled with old guys who could no longer go, and the tag division became non-existent. Styles, Daniels, and Joe were the heart of the company flanked by quality talent like Sabin, Shelly, Cage, Steiner, and Rhyno. They had a good thing going and then he came in and everything went to shit.[/QUOTE]

TNA had issues to start with, before Hogan they still had to deal with Jarrett in charge and his ego. Hogan has just kicked stuff into overdrive. I agree with myke, I WANT TNA to do well if for no other reason than to give WWE competition. They aren't doing that now. Guys on their roster are great, Styles, Joe, MCMG, Beer Money... etc. Hell even guys who have left are all talented, but instead the company that used to be "shut up and wrestle" is now 3 minute matches and every PPV ending with some type of run in. Also, in no realm should Hogan v. Sting be headlining a PPV in 2011. Hogan has had how numerous back surgeries and I think at least 2 of them were this year. But then again, my hatred for Hogan is well documented here, maybe some of y'all wanna see an old guy with 2 fake hips and a bad back try and wrestle.
 
I haven't seen anyone be supportive of Hogan-Sting happening. Hogan can't physically do anything, and it isn't just a matter of mocking him - HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING. He fucked his back up picking up sea shells, then hurt his hips and back again working in Australia in matches made to protect him THEN hurt himself in his one TNA match, a tag match, by taking TWO bumps. He has no business wrestling. The best thing for him would be to leave TNA, go to WWE, guest host WM XXX, throw a heel out of the ring, do the pose, and then give the thumbs up endorsement to someone.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']TNA has so much potential - and like you point out time and again lawd a'mighty they have a far better roster on paper. It's a matter of TNA being an unprofitable waste of potential that makes them a bigger disappointment in my eyes. If I had two children who were both earning straight C's on their report cards, if one of them had the potential for straight A's I would not be equally disappointed in how both performed, would I? I don't think so.[/QUOTE] I don't get the repeated mentions of profitability. If TNA was neck and neck with WWE right now, would that change things for you? Would it make what TNA is doing now, what you think is unwatchable garbage, acceptable? No. I think it'd be worse if TNA was turning a profit right now because they'd be just like the WWE. Unwilling to change because they don't have to. As for the children analogy, one of those kids was earning straight A's years ago. They started getting C's and accepted it. They're the one I'd be more disappointed in.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']TNA has so much potential - and like you point out time and again lawd a'mighty they have a far better roster on paper. It's a matter of TNA being an unprofitable waste of potential that makes them a bigger disappointment in my eyes. If I had two children who were both earning straight C's on their report cards, if one of them had the potential for straight A's I would not be equally disappointed in how both performed, would I? I don't think so.[/QUOTE] I don't get the repeated mentions of profitability. If TNA was neck and neck with WWE right now, would that change things for you? Would it make what TNA is doing now, what you think is unwatchable garbage, acceptable? No. I think it'd be worse if TNA was turning a profit right now because they'd be just like the WWE. Unwilling to change because they don't have to.

As for the children analogy, one of those kids was earning straight A's years ago. They started getting C's and accepted it. They're the one I'd be more disappointed in.

EDIT: As for Hogan/Sting - Do I actually want to see it? No, but I don't think it's worth the rage everyone seems to have over it while other, worse, angles have happened recently.
 
[quote name='Trakan']I don't get the repeated mentions of profitability. If TNA was neck and neck with WWE right now, would that change things for you? Would it make what TNA is doing now, what you think is unwatchable garbage, acceptable? No. I think it'd be worse if TNA was turning a profit right now because they'd be just like the WWE. Unwilling to change because they don't have to.

As for the children analogy, one of those kids was earning straight A's years ago. They started getting C's and accepted it. They're the one I'd be more disappointed in.

EDIT: As for Hogan/Sting - Do I actually want to see it? No, but I don't think it's worth the rage everyone seems to have over it while other, worse, angles have happened recently.[/QUOTE]
The angles aren't causing the rage from what I'm seeing - it's mainly the fact that TNA would actually put Hogan in a match that is offending people.
 
[quote name='JaytheGamefan']The angles aren't causing the rage from what I'm seeing - it's mainly the fact that TNA would actually put Hogan in a match that is offending people.[/QUOTE]

Ding ding ding.... Gutter tell him what he won
 
[quote name='CaseyRyback']Once Russo came along the X division became absolute shit, the main event became filled with old guys who could no longer go, and the tag division became non-existent. Styles, Daniels, and Joe were the heart of the company flanked by quality talent like Sabin, Shelly, Cage, Steiner, and Rhyno. They had a good thing going and then he came in and everything went to shit.[/QUOTE]

I just keep hoping Joe is going to get another serious push...I know it will never happen but id kill for it to. Now would actually be the perfect time, have him after losing all these matches just snap like he did the other day and go back to the brutal unstoppable Joe. Joe, AJ, Jay Lethal and Eric Young were the reason I thought TNA was so awsome....now Joe is buried, Eric is working places other then TNA as often as TNA and Lethal does not even work for the company anymore.
 
[quote name='mitch079']Hah, Cena just shit on the IWC.[/QUOTE]

By saying "I don't care enough to improve at my job."
 
[quote name='Survivalism']By saying "I don't care enough to improve at my job."[/QUOTE]

There's more to having great matches than just doing a bunch of moves - Cena had tremendous matches in '07 that didn't NEED a ton of moves to be great, and throughout history, matches have been great with relatively simple formulas.

Raw thoughts -

Good God would HHH's promo never end. It was five minutes long, felt like 20, and seemingly half of it was him drawing out him announcing himself as the ref for the PPV. He also said THE LANDSCAPE WOULD CHANGE. For what, the fifth time in a month? Then Cena and HHH argued about something in the ring, and it was impossible to know what since the commentators were talking over it. Then they replayed it and it wasn't anymore clear because they talked too softly. Cena-Swagger was hilarious due to Cena OUTWRESTLING Swagger. Not just "he did his big moves first deal", oh no, he dominated him on the ground as well. I loved J.R. answering Cole's stupid question of "WON'T THIS BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST MATCHES IN WWE HISTORY ON SUNDAY, JR!" where there is no good answer by saying that it will redefine the WWE Title and leaving it at that. Enjoyed Alberto's promo and loved Truth's goofy one. It's hard to believe his heel turn was 4 months ago.

Liked Miz taking out Rey before their match. Odd of them to announce Rey getting his title rematch next week if he's out with an injury, so I'm guessing they'll just say that match will happen, not deliver it, and blame Miz for taking away Rey's chance of being WWE Champion again. Miz-Kofi was fine, minus a couple of awkward spots, like Miz continuing to run into the corner after Kofi already set himself up for the Christian pendulum kick. Liked the electric chair hot shot into the skull crushing finale finish. Boy did Punk ever come off like just another dude with the Josh interview. Last week's show-closing bit with Cena was bad, this was worse. He went from being a huge deal to just another face on the show. Loved his line about HHH needing the spotlight because he's solar powered. Punk-Del Rio was good and the clean finish was a pleasant surprise. Beth's tits versus Eve was fantastic. Lots of cleavage on display here and Beth's post-match promo about taking the title and making the division a serious deal was good.

Dolph-A-Ry was... something. Shocking for one, since Riley's theme didn't even get a pop. And then he made a pretty foul shit joke, so yeah, I wanted Dolph to just massacre this dude after that. And then the "match" ended with Vickie slapped Riley, Riley hit Dolph, who...went vaguely in the direction of Vickie to knock her down. This just sucked. And the commentary didn't help it either, with Cole saying that Dolph's "almost" a star. HE'S A CHAMPION, AND A FORMER WORLD CHAMP, HOW ISN'T HE A STAR!? At least they broke up Dolph and Vickie - he does need to get away from her in the long run. Might as well do it now. They did this and didn't even announce a rematch for the PPV, which has next to nothing announced for it and is being sold entirely on a match that JUST MIGHT BE THE BIGGEST MATCH IN WWE HISTORY. I'm not really sure why though - neither Cena or Punk seems to mind carrying a disputed title. Each just treats them like a prop. Then they aired a really good recap of what happened at MITB, which made me want to see that show again on DVD/BD more than it made me want to see Summerslam, even with it bring up the "stakes" of this match, but excluding HHH as the ref, which makes me think that part was added at the last minute.

Truth-Morrison further exposed the lack of roster depth because they had to put what would've been Summerslam filler on Raw. Morrison's C4 got a ONE COUNT. Sin Cara uses a top rope version and it's a finisher, Morrison does it and it's a one count. Morrison sounded wooden even delivering mid-match smack talk. Dude needs more acting lessons, furthering the idea of it being a huge mistake to bring him back so early. Morrison took some crazy bumps here and...why? If it was a Raw main event, it would be stupid, but at least a main event - this was just a mid-card Raw match, and he's coming back early, and...he loses again after risking more injury. Sure, he took possibly the best bump for the flatliner in a decade, but why the fuck even bother coming back? Whatever was going to be gained from coming back early as far as getting pushed with a diminished roster clearly isn't going to happen, so just say you've got tingling in your hands and leave for a while.

The main event contract signing was weird. They used the Rock's prom on Cena to build it, then Cena and Punk went off on each other in heated, yet still manufactored-feeling ways. I liked them at least bringing up the Friday firings - I'm assuming that the guys mentioned are all on really good terms with the company to actually get a shoutout on the company's TV. This whole deal was basically 10 minutes of real promo time devoted to the match spread out over half an hour with a TON of discussion about the Rock. Just fountains of words about this man, so much so that there's no way it didn't hurt this PPV's buyrate because instead of just focusing on this feud, the ONE feud that has come along that made people forget about that one, they brought it back to the forefront and made this feud seem secondary once again. They did put over that it would be a big night for either guy, but also said that Punk absolutely needed to win to prove his worth, and with that kind of buildup on-air, he does need to win. Or rather, win AND leave with the title. None of this "Guy X wins and Hunter makes a match for himself to win the title" shit that I think they're building to.

Screens -





Insert Swaggie Here


Beth Kleenex makes her return.










Quotes -
JR - It’ll be interesting to see how HHH presides over this, the final Raw before the 24th edition of Summerslam on Sunday!
HHH - In 6 nights, it’ll be one of the most important nights of the WWE. The entire landscape of the business will change. It will be the WWE Champion John Cena against the WWE Champion CM Punk. Now change has been a big thing around here lately. In a month, we’ve gone from no WWE Champion and Vince being in charge, to me being in charge and there being 2 WWE Champions. A situation that I will rectify on Sunday in that match. It will be one match. One undisputed winner, and one undisputed WWE Champion! But here’s the tricky thing - the undisputed part is where my job comes in as COO. It’s the WWE right, and anything can happen. How do you determine that there will be one champion? YOU EMPOWER ONE MAN. YOU EMPOWER SOMEBODY TO BE THE ANSWER. SOMEONE WHO WON’T BE INTIMIDATED AND WHOSE AUTHORITY WILL BE NOT ONLY RESPECTED BUT ABSOLUTE! I FOUND THAT MAN. THAT MAN IS LARGER THAN LIFE. THAT MAN CASTS A SHADOW OVER NOT ONLY PUNK AND CENA, BUT ALSO WWE - THAT MAN IS ME! (crowd boos) At this point in time, I’m the only guy I can trust around here. That being said, I will stand in this ring and officiate that contest! I will call it as I see and I promise you this - when the dust clears at Summerslam, we will walk away with one undisputed WWE Champion! But that’s Sunday. Tonight, we’ll have the contract signing between Cena (boos) and CM Punk (cheers) but before we do that, both of those gentlemen will face individual competition in the ring tonight. Cena’s match will be right now!
Cole - HHH IS GONNA BE THE REFEREE ON SUNDAY!
Cole - HAS THERE EVER BEEN A MATCH AS BIG AS THE ONE ON SUNDAY, JR!?
JR - It will redefine the WWE Title.
Cole - WE HAVE A QUESTION FOR THE WWE UNIVERSE! Who will leave Summerslam as the Undisputed WWE Champion?
Stanford - The man who will take on CM Punk tonight….
Ricardo - ALBBEERRRTTTOOOO DEL RIO!
Del Rio - Punk calls himself the voice of the voiceless, but he’s really the VOICE of the COWARDS. When I was going to cash in my case, HE RAN LIKE A COWARD!
Truth - I’M A GOOODD R-TRUTH!
Josh - Why would you to take advantage of your friend?
Truth - WHY WHY WHY!? IF I’M THE CAPTAIN OF A SHIP, CAN’T I NAVIGATE A SHIP!? WHY DO HOT DOGS COME 10 IN A PACK WHEN BUNS COME 8 TO A PACK!? THERE'S 2 BUNS MISSIN! WHY DID GOD CREATE SPIDERS!? WHY DO I HATE SPIDERS!? I’m glad you asked - spiders, THEY’S CREEPY. THEY GOT NASTY, HAIRY LEGS AND THEY QUIET! AND WHEN THEY GET A CHANCE, THEY BITE YA! AIN’T NO BODY FRIENDS WITH SPIDERS! STOP WHATTING ME! BACK IN THE DAY, GRANDMAMA WOULD GET SOME CARROTS, SOME POTATOES, AND ONE BIG OLD TURNIP AND SHE’D MAKE SPIDER STEW! MMM MMM! ONLY PERSON WHO’D EAT THE SPIDER STEW WAS LITTLY JIMMY! BUT THAT’S A DIFFERENT SUBJECT! TONIGHT, I’M GONNA STEP ON A SPIDER AND SQUISH HIM INTO THE MAT. AND THAT SPIDER’S NAME IS JOHN MORRISON!
JR - In a week from tonight, Rey will get his rematch for the WWE Title!
Cole - Yeah, like he deserves that!
Cole - I’m gonna go find out what this is about.
Cole - Miz, that was an unbelievable display of audacity out there.
Miz - Yeah, it was. But do you know who I’m facing at Summerslam? NEITHER DO I! THERE’S SO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THE WWE TITLE MATCH WHEN IT SHOULD BE ON ME. I’M THE MOST MUST-SEE WWE CHAMPION IN HISTORY. I’M ALL OVER EVERY MEDIA OUTLET. I’M ON MTV AND THE INTERNET! ME ME ME! SO IF I HAVE TO DO THAT TO REY TO GET ATTENTION AROUND HERE, SO BE IT! I WANNA REF TO COME DOWN HERE AND DECLARE ME THE WINNER BY FORFIET!
King - Miz is so must-see we must see him face Kofi Kingston.
Cole - MIZ WAS HANGING OUT WITH ALL THE STARS AT THE TEEN CHOICE AWARDS! Did you see them, JR?
JR - Nope, it was past my bedtime.
Cole - How? IT’S ON EARLIER THAN RAW!
J.R. - I took a nap with skim milk, diet cookies, and BBQ sauce.
Cole - DIET COOKIES!? THAT’LL BE THE DAY!
Cole - JACK SWAGGER AND R-TRUTH ARE TRENDING ON TWITTER!
Josh - Punk, what’s your reaction to HHH naming himself the ref?
Punk - Is anyone surprised? This guy’s got a bigger ego than his father in law. And coming from the guy who re-signed CM Punk for the good of the business, he should know to keep his nose out of the biggest WWE Title match in history. He needs that spotlight - he must be solar powered. What did Alberto say earlier? I’m a coward and he’ll show the world what would’ve happened at MITB? He’s right - and I’ll help him right now.
Crowd - CM PUNK! CM PUNK!
Cole - Beth is a huge X-Men fan - she said she’d like to be Mystique!
Cole - I’d be Wolverine. JR WOULD BE THE FAT GUY!
JR - A million comedians are out of work and you’re here.
Beth - NO MORE BOOTY POPPING! NO MORE SPLITS! NO MORE STINKFACES!
Cole - AMEN!
King - That takes out 90% of the fun of the divas division for me.
Cena - I think the transcendence of this thing, if that’s a word, if not, add it to the Urban Dictionary, of the you can’t see me, outside the WWE Kingdom has been incredible.
Riley - Vickie, I’m not gonna say that your breath stinks, but it smells like death took a dump in your mouth!
Cole - Truth prepares to do battle with his FORMER BUDDY!
JR - Morrison folded up like an accordion. That’s an old thing.
Cole - And so is the person saying it. OLD!
JR - You’re so young. And vibrant!
Morrison - MAY 2ND, TRUTH, YOU TRIED TO END MY CAREER!
Cole - HEY CHAMP, WHAT UP!?
Chritian - It sounds like you’re trying to embarrass the world champ - that’s what’s up. I’m going to make an announcement, and it would behoove our COO to appear live on SD because he’s going to want to hear what I have to say in person.
HHH - WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL CONTRACT SIGNING FOR THE UNIDSPUTED WWE TITLE MATCH!
Sign - HIRE KINGS OF WRESTLING!
HHH - Guys, we can cut to the chase…
Punk - Let’s not, Mr. COO. We all know the match is official. Everyone knows where we’re going, so this is just for show, right? When’s the last time we had one of these signings not end in calamity? We can beat each other up or at least make this entertaining. I feel like I’m a movie star and I’m on the set of Conan ‘O Brien pitching a clip to my next movie. I have a clip from a big movie star that explains how I feel about Cena, and no, it isn’t you in the Chaperone.
HHH - How as your movie?
Punk - Mine went straight to DVD just like yours. THIS IS AN ACTUAL MOVIE STAR who is going to explain how I feel, mostly about you. TAKE IT AWAY, DWAYNE!
Rock - Cena, ya slide on your TOUGH GUYS SHOES, your TOUGH GUY JEAN SHORTS that no one’s worn since ‘92! Then you put on your red shirt looking like a transvestite Wonder Woman super hero - BYOOM BYOOM! Then your music hits, you run down, take off your shirt, and then your music stops. Stop. You hear something that eats at your core - it kills ya. LET’S GO CENA! CENA SUCKS! YOU GO TO YOUR OWN HOMETOWN AND THEY BOO YA. YA KNOW WHY!? CUZ THE ROCKS’ A MAN AND HE REPRESENTS MEN AND WE SMELL YOUR BULLSHIT AND SMELL A PHONY PUNK A MILE AWAY!
Punk - I don’t think they’re saying Cena Sucks - they’re saying CM Punk, but ya get the gist of it. Thanks Dwayne for sending that, by the way, you’re a phony. But the irony is that he’s calling you a phony, he’s just as big a one as you are. Maybe Dwayne will be upset, but he has a real problem with you, but I don’t want him to say things in a voice like this to me.
Cnea - Nah, I like this. You caught me off guard, but THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY! A GUY LIKE DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON! Future WWE hall of famer. Headlining WrestleMania? HE’S ALREADY ON THE BILL. HE’S A MOVIE STAR. HE’S WORKING ON GI JOE NOW! With all that success, he has nothing to be mad about, but he looks at me and FLIPS OUT AND GETS ANGRY. Why? Cuz I’m a transvestite Wonder Woman in red?
Punk - Okay, I din’t show the clip so you could go off on the Rock?
Cena - You won’t go after me for my clothes, but you think I’m a phony. You think I’m a modern-day Hogan - I took the hand away from my ear and put it in front of my face. THIS IS WHERE I HIT YOU WITH SOME TRUTH. The Rock is a star and he has his millions and I could try to talk trash with the Rock - I will never win over the Millions. And you, of course, you have your fans. And no matter what I do - I could add to the five moves of doom, let my heel persona shine through - I’LL NEVER WIN OVER THOSE PEOPLE. YOU SAID I WAS THE YANKEES! I originally was offended by that, but they’re the most loved and hated team in sports - I bring up the name and it gets a response. YOU WERE RIGHT! There are so many people that hate me…(crowd boos) WHEN MY MUSIC PLAYS, IT’S LIKE THOSE HALL OF FAME PINSTRIPES TAKING THE FIELD - PEOPLE SEE IT AND OOZE HATE. I’m not concerned with Them - I’m concerned with the people who have been loyal to me - who know that I won’t give up on them! THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT!
And sir, there is nothing phony about that! YOU WANTED YOUR FACE ON PLANES AND ICE CREAM BARS! YOU WANNA BE A VOICE OF THE VOICELESS!? YOU WANT PHONY? Look in the mirror.
HHH - Not to throw gas on the fire, your holier than thou stuff yeah, but you held out for a couple perks and more money. Then you just ran away and called on the phone.
Punk - I’m gutless!? WHO FIRES PEOPLE!? YOU OR FUNK MAN!? Johnny FUNK-MAN, did you face to face, fire Kozlov? Did you fly yourself to Florida to tell Harry, NOT DH SMITH, that he was no longer needed here. Did you tell Chris Masters, who has worked his ass off, that he was fired? YOU HAVE HIM DO YOUR DIRTY WORK! THIS ISN’T ABOUT HIM, OR YOU! (CM Punk chant breaks out) HEY JOHN-BOY, IT’S ABOUT YOU AND ME. THIS IS ABOUT THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP AND IT’S EASY FOR YOU TO SIT THERE TO ACT NOBLE WHEN YOU’VE BEEN AFFORDED CHANCE AFTER CHANCE! YOUR PERSPECTIVE IS SKEWED! YOU LOOK DOWN ON ME! I’ll give you an example - I won my first title here in WWE. The ECW Title! The next day, you, who didn’t bother saying two words before that, said congrats champ, I almost gave up on you! I hold grudges! Ever since then, I’ve had a sour taste in my mouth - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!? You know who gave pu on their dream? When you moved to CA to become a bodybuilder and became a sports entertainer because you couldn’t hack it. I STARTED AS A WRESTLER! DID I HOLD UP WWE FOR MORE PERKS!? YEAH! I WANT MY FACE ON AN ICE CREAM BAR. I WANTED TO EARN A CHANCE YOU’VE JUST BEEN HANDED! Here’s the thing John-boy, in LA, you won your first WWE Title. On Sunday, you’re walking out of LA with NOTHING! NOTHING! You’ll be a big star the next day - you’ll be in the Marine 4, or have your big fight with Dwayne, or your fans peeing in their PJ when they think about. You won’t have the WWE TITLE! YOU WON’T BE WWE CHAMPION. THE WWE CHAMPION WILL BE ME!
Cena - You won ONE MATCH. You have every right to be WWE Champion, but what happens if you lose at Summerslam? Your diatribe about me about Rock is right - win lose or draw, I face the Rock. YOU NEED THIS MATCH. You need this more than anything because you have more people watching you. YOU SAY IT’S A PIPE BOMB, BUT IF YOU DON’T BACK IT UP ON SUNDAY, YOU’RE A LOUDMOUTH ONE HIT WONDER! YOU! YOU’LL BE KNOWN AS BUSTER DOUGLAS, YAHOO-SIRIOUS, MILLI…VANILLI! If you don’t produce, all of this will be gone just like that. Good Luck.
Punk - Good luck? Lucks for losers, and I’d rather be a one hit wonder than a phony.
Cena - We been talking for a while and you came out to entertain, right? I just got a feeling that this talking thing is wearing thin…
Punk - Talking’s what I do, but I can kick your teeth down your throat!
Punk - IS THE FIX IN!?
 
[quote name='Survivalism']By saying "I don't care enough to improve at my job."[/QUOTE]

You forgot the "BROTHER". :lol:
 
[quote name='Trakan']I don't get the repeated mentions of profitability. If TNA was neck and neck with WWE right now, would that change things for you? Would it make what TNA is doing now, what you think is unwatchable garbage, acceptable? No. I think it'd be worse if TNA was turning a profit right now because they'd be just like the WWE. Unwilling to change because they don't have to.[/QUOTE]

I stress that they are unprofitable because it contributes to how absurd it is that they've been making the same mistakes for *years* now - as long as Russo has been around, without a doubt.

I say it because these are companies, they are businesses. They don't give a flying fuck (and I know they say different, but stay with me) how many smiles they put on peoples' faces. You can't pay your gas bill with smiles (unless, of course, you're the daughter of a wealthy energy industry magnate...HEY! What a coincidence!). But as a company, they should care about being profitable. Yet they aren't. That's why I bring it up. A company that is making money has less incentive to change (in a capitalist economy) than a company that is hemorrhaging money (barring large investment banks, yes, I know). That's why I'm more understanding of WWE than TNA. WWE is making money and has Vince McMahon's wounded and irrational ego driving it.

So for TNA to not make money, and neglect to shake up their promotion in a substantive way is amazing. The company is teeming with people who truly thought that changing the color scheme, implementing a half-assed (to say it nicely, as it was a colossal bumblefuck of confusion) name change, and spending tens of thousands of dollars (my estimate) for a marketing firm to come back with the slogan "Wrestling Matters" would be enough to bring viewers in - all without any qualitative change to the product at all. It's the same too-much-talk, overbooked, overcooked angles that feature too much insipid "insider" crap to be of any interest.

Kurt Angle is the champion. Sting is at the top of the promotion's focus; so is Hogan, and Bischoff, and Flair. None of this has done a thing, historically, for TNA's ratings. Abyss will fall off a cliff in his next hardcore match, and nobody will bat an eye. Mister Anderson will declare himself an asshole, will have a match with RVD, and both of them will compete with the Impact Zone to be bored to sleep the fastest. There is no long term goal with the company; nobody being built. The cruiserweights (let's call them that, since this "X-Division" nonsense is another mess of marketing) are less stressed than in WCW, and the bulk of them (1) don't know a fucking thing about selling a move, and that's because they spent time in two promotions (including WWE) where (2) there's no fucking tv time to sell a move. TNA is lost in space, treading water, and boring as fuck.

At least WWE openly flaunts that they don't give a shit about wrestling. That's refreshing honesty.
 
[quote name='Habbler']Cena was pushing for WWE to hire Samoa Joe on twitter not too long ago.[/QUOTE] I Thought that was Stone Cold.
 
xilly, I kinda see what you're saying, but all titles need to be rebuilt, honestly. Not just the midcard.

There is some intelligence in pointing to MMA and weight class popularity. Wrestling needs to discover that size doesn't matter to fans. George St. Pierre is one of the most over dudes in UFC, and he's average height and weight. 5'10", 170.

But we know that you're right. AJ Styles in WWE would be treated the same way Dean Malenko was in WWE. Yeah, they gave him a title, but he was a nobody. His only WWE feud was with Lita. The guy could make them money, but he's not 6'3" and 220 lbs.

fuck, WWE had Matt Morgan and the best they could do with him was "hey, you...stutter for us." As much as I'm not a huge fan of "The Blueprint" (though it's a great name), it's a fuckload better than Matt Morgan, resident stutterin' retard (in that people will pay money to see someone who isn't a stuttering retard).
 
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