The "Dem Boys" Briscoe Brothers Wrestling Thread

Booker-T-wut-da-hayell.jpg
 
Is there a better promo in wrestling today than these guys? Sure, they don't make sense half the time - but that doesn't always matter. They get over their opponents, they get over the importance/severity of the match, they get over the brutality of the match, etc. Most of all, their legitimacy is never questionable. That's so overlooked as a key to good promos. You watch these delaware hillbillies, and you know they're not upper-middle-class private school rejects. That's what I love about the Briscoes. The way they present themselves is legit as fuck - therefore, their promos work magnificently.

It's also why WWE promos are so terrible - the scripted nature of them (take, for example, the Cena-Piper thing from last week) just makes it seem forced. It's hard to cheer for that. It's hard to boo that. It's also why you see a few guys in TNA who are far better with promos (esp. Bully Ray) than most other tv wrestlers. Wrestling should be sink-or-swim. How WWE is so reticent to move to letting guys live or die on their own promos is beyond me.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Is there a better promo in wrestling today than these guys? Sure, they don't make sense half the time - but that doesn't always matter. They get over their opponents, they get over the importance/severity of the match, they get over the brutality of the match, etc. Most of all, their legitimacy is never questionable. That's so overlooked as a key to good promos. You watch these delaware hillbillies, and you know they're not upper-middle-class private school rejects. That's what I love about the Briscoes. The way they present themselves is legit as fuck - therefore, their promos work magnificently.

It's also why WWE promos are so terrible - the scripted nature of them (take, for example, the Cena-Piper thing from last week) just makes it seem forced. It's hard to cheer for that. It's hard to boo that. It's also why you see a few guys in TNA who are far better with promos (esp. Bully Ray) than most other tv wrestlers. Wrestling should be sink-or-swim. How WWE is so reticent to move to letting guys live or die on their own promos is beyond me.[/QUOTE]

Agreed. They would NEVER get a moment of camera time in WWE due to their being completely unpackageable (is that even a word?) in the current stale climate. The expression on Mark's face (I think, I never can keep their names straight) after Jay walked off-camera was priceless.

Dem Boys = Dem Chicken Slangas
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S9oWIpl7So

"Dis ain't no sports entertainmante bullshat!"

The thing to me what makes the Briscoes great in terms of promo work is that they never come across like they are characters. It feels like they are being themselves and not scripted to the last word like most have to be. Love them or hate them they certainly bust their asses off which you can't deny.

Also I completely forgot that the Briscoe Bros did work for TNA at some point...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVpkVGwjFiQ
 
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[quote name='neocisco']Agreed. They would NEVER get a moment of camera time in WWE due to their being completely unpackageable (is that even a word?) in the current stale climate. The expression on Mark's face (I think, I never can keep their names straight) after Jay walked off-camera was priceless.

Dem Boys = Dem Chicken Slangas[/QUOTE]

I'm not entirely convinced that they could never go in WWE. WWE has a million and one reasons to want to reject them. But wouldn't most of us have looked at 2004 CM Punk and said "no way will he get ahead in WWE"? Or the same thing of Bryan Danielson?

The Briscoes are *grits*, which puts them in another category entirely. But I wouldn't write them off 100%.

I'm glad they're still with ROH, because god knows what little we'd see of them if they moved to TNA or WWE.

The promo where they moved from training by drinking beer to training by eating campbell's chunky soup is one of the best promos of 2011 (the one that Demolition Man posted).
 
OK, maybe not 100%. The percentage is high enough though that, along with WWE's disdain for long-term tag teams, I just don't see it happening.
 
[quote name='neocisco']OK, maybe not 100%. The percentage is high enough though that, along with WWE's disdain for long-term tag teams, I just don't see it happening.[/QUOTE]

no argument from me there.
 
As much as I do enjoy WWE '12, the glitches and the complete lack of online functionality have pissed me off. I'm going to sell it.

And I'm fully aware that as soon as I do, the online mode will be fixed and I'll have to buy it again.
 
How do I log into the ROH Ringside site once I'm already a member? Is there a pop up I'm missing or something?

Edit: I'm stupid it's right at the top.
 
Cena came out and proclaimed that everything is fine in the Cenation...Dolph was a caddy and a cheerleader, Piper's a member of the WWE Universe...eh, boring promo. Apparently, Punk beat Alberto for the WWE Title last week. Which is odd since Punk was champ going in...Alberto talks like that was the case too, makes a case for a shot due to the screwy win. Eh, neither is fresh. YAY VICKIE! Time to campaign for Team Dolph! Dolph talks himself up nicely, and Cena says he should be "jerkoff" instead of "show-off". Classy. Everyone's concerned with being entertaining in matches instead of winning them, great. Miz, fresh off of being a killer, is back to being a goof. Ace came out to say that he IS creative and made a convoluted number 1 contender's tournament. This went on way too long, but at least made a mini-tournament for the night that could be good. And something involving Cena. Miz-Orton had a boring match. Cole informed us that THE WWE SUPERSTARS WERE FOLLOWING RAW ON TWITTER. Shouldn't they actually be watching it on TV instead? Miz decided to steal Orton's old schtick of doing five million chinlocks. Then Barrett came out with his stupid anchor-looking logo on his ass and lost because Orton decided that beating up Barrett was more important than facing him.

Great, so just like when he was champ, Miz got a win that didn't help him in the slightest. THERE'S A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE WWE NETWORK! The most fucking annoying music in history played to hype up the WWE Network while clips flashed by at a seizure-inducing rate. IT WILL EXPAND THE WWE UNIVERSE! Ugh. And then John Cena acted like a complete dork wearing Ryder's wacky hair and shades while quoting Marty McFly. And Ace made Cena-Ryder, where if Ryder wins, he'll get a U.S. title shot and if Cena won, he'd be in the WWE Title TLC match. Well, that sure lets you know who the real star is and who the mid-card one is. Otunga w/ coffee said Nash will face HHH in a ladder match. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And there will be a sledgehammer above the ring, so whoever gets it can use it...why can't HHH just get his usual hammer from under the ring and beat the fuck out of him? Is using only the hammer above the ring legal? Oh, and Nash has a match later.

Cole buried Danielson, and called him a loser a billion times before he faced Alberto, who as Cena said earlier - IS A LOSER. And then Alberto heat him quickly. Well, that sure killed every shred of momentum he had. They had an out for this with the rib tape, but after having Cole bury him EVERY SECOND OF THE MATCH, they've made that job even harder than it was before. Tribute to the Troops ad aired... YEAH YEA YEA, WE WILL STAND TOGETHER! YEAH YEA YEA, WE WILL STAND TOGETHER! YEAH YEA YEA, WE WILL STAND TOGETHER!YEAH YEA YEA, WE WILL STAND TOGETHER! YEAH YEA YEA, WE WILL STAND TOGETHER! YEAH YEA YEA, WE WILL STAND TOGETHER! The Muppets return as does the hot Maria chick from Extra. 42 MILLION PEOPLE are friends with WWE's Facebook Network, which I guess is combining every WWE superstar's friend listing and their friends' or something. In other interesting stats, 75,000 people are interested in buying their Pay-Per-Views in the U.S.

1/2/12 video interrupted a Divas of Doom hype vid. Video was memorable with all that stuff, even if interrupting their video didn't really help the Divas of Doom/Sisters of Salvation/Pinup Strong, who were beaten in a minute. Well, that sure seems really stupid. King said that Cena didn't want to fight Ryder, which sure is strange since they started the show, it was all about being entertaining. Ryder came out to no reaction, and Cena's wasn't anything special earlier. Cena got a LET'S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant. No Ryder chants, and Cole ranted about Cena being WWE's workhorse and Rock leaving and yet people still loving Rock. That's just great. They STILL can't get over this. AFTER THE GUY CAME BACK. Jesus Chris is Vince a petty motherfucker. Ryder tried to beat Miz's chinlock count from the opener. Ryder got a 2 off the tornado DDT, and then they showed TWO fans losing their shit. Ryder hit the face wash, but got hit with the AA after acting like a moron to set up the Rough Ryder. That whole deal reminds me of Matt Hardy having a seizure to set up the Twist of Fate. A Ryder gear-clad fan was sad, and Ryder was pissed at Cena for beating him. LOOK AT ALL THESE YOUNG, HIP RACIALLY-DIVERSE FRIENDS USING THE 3DS...to view 3D videos together. Somehow, they're doing this while moving constantly.

Cena yelled at Ace to give Ryder another shot at a shot at the U.S. Title, which Ace was all for...if Cena gave up his WWE Title match at TLC. Cena, like a good friend, actually did this. Wow, FINALLY Cena's character does something nice. I'm guessing Ryder gets killed by Brodus. New Kane vid aired, now with wacky alterations of the roster's faces. Miz's looks especially freaky. Resurrected. Flaming mask falls to the ground. I'm begging for a return date on these things. Ryder got an extended jobber intro along with some WOO WOO WOO chants before Henry came out. Henry ranted at him, and Ryder actually got some offense here, including slamming the injured leg into the post. Cena came out, FU'd Henry, and gave Ryder a win that doesn't help him. So Zack Ryder JUST BEAT THE WORLD CHAMPION TO GET A U.S. TITLE SHOT! This is good in a way because yeah, Ryder gets the shot and probably the title, but he does so after looking like a loser via the booking and getting buried on commentary by Cole. Ryder gained nothing with the win, Henry looked weak after losing via basically one move, and Cena beating up Henry instantly makes Henry and his title look less important. WWE IS THE MOST SOCIALLY INTERACTIVE SHOW EVERY MONDAY NIGHT! WWE is the old dad trying to prove he's hip again. Cole shilled WWE Magazine and said that Nash talks about Just For Men hair color. Really, this happened. Nash then killed Santino in a minute. Some really incredible matches here tonight. I believe there's been maybe ten minutes of actual wrestling content on the show. Normally, that would bug me more, but the booking has been far more annoying than the lack of matches. Punk was shown talking to Evan for some reason, presumably involving not using drugs.

Sheamus, who is not up for Superstar of the year for some reason, got to face Dolph. One good thing about the booking of Dolph tonight is it allows him to both escape the mid-card and enter the main event mix in one night at TLC if he loses the U.S. title and then either wins the WWE Title or has a showcase performance. It's the one bit of really great booking outside of I guess Nash won so he looks strong-ish against HHH. Sheamus and Dolph had a pretty good match while Cole talked about trending. Ryder came out and cost Dolph the win. WHY CAN'T A GOOD GUY WIN A MATCH WITHOUT INTERFERENCE!? The only face that won clean tonight was whichever diva pinned Beth. Even Nash didn't need help to win tonight. And now Dolph won't be in the TLC match, which ends his streak of "stealing the show" in two matches as well. Ryder overkill tonight too. Now I'm sad. This idiocy was almost redeemed by King forgetting about CM Punk, the Champion, WHILE STARING AT HIS FACE in a graphic.

ALBERTO'S WEARING A SONNY CROCKETT SUIT! YES! Ace cut a bad promo, but plugged Brodus, so...good for that. They brought up Morrison numerous times, so I'd say he's definitely coming back - there's no need to give him so many plugs if he hadn't. Punk talked about the contract signing being a cliche, made jokes about Miz being fruity for "taking out" Truth and Morrison, and then did the corny "NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT" cliche...after burying cliches earlier. Punk said if Alberto said "my destiny..." he'd start drinking, which ruled. Then Punk acted like an asshole and attacked Miz, who did nothing, with the mic and went after Ricardo. He left both heels laying at the end...so I'm guessing he loses the title, or retains it after using a tank to get a clean win. They also said it was the first-ever triple threat TLC match..which I'm pretty sure isn't true. Wasn't the first TLC match EVER a triple threat tag?

Screens -

Cena can never make fun of the Dynamic Dudes again.




Miz tries to get #chinlock trending. TREND DAMN YOU!




Winners Don't Use Drugs


Or go AWOL


Broski of the Week is pissed...


..and Ryder doesn't look too happy either.







Quotes -
Cole - IT IS THE LONGEST-RUNNING EPISODIC TV SHOW IN HISTORY! IT’S MONDAY NIGHT RAW!
Sign - Never Cena Nuff.
Cena - WELL WELL WEELL WELL HAHAHAHHA, MUST BE THAT TIME AGAIN! RAW! Last Monday was interesting. I was a guest on Piper’s Pit. I wanna take a second to thank Roddy. First, for being a friend, a WWE Hall of Famer, and being PART OF THE WWE UNIVERSE. Every week, you all tell me how you feel about me. And that’s all Piper did - he told me how he felt. Was it the words I wanted to hear? IT WAS! I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it once more - there’s no show without you. IF YOU DON’T WATCH, WE DON’T WORK. You’ve all earned the right to tell me who the hell you think I am. You wanna boo me? I RESPECT IT! LET’S HEAR IT. You wanna cheer me? THANKS FOR STAYIN LOYAL! Sometimes, you’ve chanted things like FRUITY PEBBLES! (chant breaks out) Try finding that on any other TV show. THAT’S THE ENERGY RODDY WAS TALKING ABOUT! THAT’S WHAT MAKES RAW RAW! Some in WWE make a big deal out of the reactions, the reactions aren’t the deal - the slap was the deal! It wasn’t the slap of Roddy, it was the slap of the ref’s hand as Punk pinned Alberto for the WWE Title! The only thing bigger than Rock-Cena at ‘Mania is Rock-Cena FOR THE WWE TITLE! Punk, if you’re listening…
Alberto - Stop! STOP DIS RIGHT NOW! You don’t get a title match - THAT TITLE MATCH IS FOR ME! THAT TITLE MATCH IS MINE! MINE!
Cena - Hold on El Presidente! What part of YOU LOST DON’T YOU GET!? Is it the you part? That’s complex. Is it lost…YOU LOST, EVERYBODY SAW IT!
Alberto - THEY DON’T COUNT! Listen Cena, last week John Laurinitis said if Punk got himself Dqed I would be the new WWE Champion…
Cena - That didn’t happen - YOU LOST!
Alberto - That’s why I’m gonna show you something!
Vickie - I’M STANDING WITH THE ONLY RAW SUPERSTAR! DOLPH ZIGGLER!
Dolph - Wait, you two disagree with that? I forget, which one of you beat Orton last week on Raw? Who’s the longest reigning champion in WWE? WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GONNA BE THE FIRST SIMULTANEOUS U.S. AND WWE CHAMP!? WHICH ONE OF YOU HAS THE MOST ENTERTAINING?
Cena - You were the Caddy, the Cheerleader…Mr. Cumstein? NO, YOU’RE THE SHOW-OFF! Thanks Cole for FORCE-FEEDING that. I don’t like it, but I’ve got something. Take out “show”, put in the word “jerk”…
Vickie - EXCUSE ME!
Dolph - VICKIE, I GOT THIS! It’s not showing off if you back it up!
Cena - You prove it? HOW COME YOU WON’T GIVE A TITLE SHOT TO THE ONE MAN WHO DESERVES IT! ZACK RYDER!
Dolph - BEEN THERE DONE THAT!
Cena - Is that trending?
Dolph - THE NEXT WWE TITLE MATCH GOES TO EVERYONE’S FAVORITE HASHTAG HEEL! (Miz comes out)
Cole - Miz beat him up and then Morrison was released from WWE by Mr. Laurinitis.
Miz - REALLY? REALLY REALLY!? I have news for you guys - the Slammys are next week. I’M THE MAN WHO BEAT CENA AT WM. THE MAN WHOSE WWE TITLE REIGN WAS ACTUALLY LONGER THAN A MONTH, AND WHO DOESN’T NEED VICKIE TO ENSURE I GET A REACTION. I TOOK OUT TRUTH AND MORRISON! YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE 2011 SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR! AND THE NEXT WWE CHAMPION! IF ANYONE GETS A MATCH WITH PUNK, IT’S…
Ace - Miz…I’m the INTERIM GM OF RAW! Punk is saying that I’m a boring figurehead who is incapable of making creative decisions, but I’m going to shatter that perception. Tonight, one of you will face an SD superstar, and if you win, you’ll be entered in a match for the WWE Title at TLC. I’m all for giving opportunities, except for you Cena. I’ve got a social experiment for you.
Cole - The superstars are following all of tonight’s action on twitter!
Otunga - Mr. Laurinitis wanted me to tell you you’ll face HHH at TLC in a ladder match.
Nash - I don’t do ladder matches.
Otunga - Hanging above the ring will be a sledgehammer, so whoever gets it can use it.
Nash - So I can get it, use the sledgehammer, and there’ll be no ramifications on me?
Otunga - That’s right.
Nash - I can do a ladder match.
Otunga - You’ll also be in action tonight. Do you wanna know who your opponent is?
Nash - Is it HHH?
Otunga - No.
Nash - No worries.
Cole - DANIEL BRYAN WAS ONCE AGAIN A GREAT BIG OLD LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!
Cole - Cena’s BEEN THE WORKHORSE FOR WWE FOR EIGHT YEARS, AND YET THE ROCK LEFT AND ISN’T HERE! AND YET THE WWE UNIVERSE BOOS CENA!
Cena - THAT KID HAS WORKED HIS ASS OFF! AND YOU AND NO ONE ELSE HAS GIVEN HIM AN OPPORTUNITY!
King - CENA JUST GOT SWERVED OUT OF HIS SHOT FOR THE WWE TITLE BY JOHN LAURINITIS!
Henry - YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE IN MY RING, BOY!
Ryder - I GOT A SHOT BRO! YOU KNOW IT!
Cole - Nash will face HHH at the CL…TLC PPV. Nash has an interview in WWE Magazine talking about Just For Men hair color.
Punk - THIS IS THE BIGGEST WWE CLICHÉ EVER! THE CONTRACT SIGNING! THEY ALWAYS END IN A PEIR-SIX BRAWL, AND I’D LOVE FOR THAT TREND ON TWITTER! And since you are devoid of charisma, you’re not creative, or exciting - we haven’t had a peaceful contract signing since Hogan and Andre at WM III.
Ace - I’M MISTER EXCITEMENT and in the name of excitement, I’m not gonna have a traditional triple threat match at TLC. It’ll be a triple threat TLC match.
Punk - Okay, so if I have to beat the guy I pinned on Raw, and I have to beat the guy who lost at Survivor Series…I’m okay with that!
Miz - You wanna talk about Survivor Series? LET’S TALK ABOUT AFTER THAT - I TOOK OUT TRUTH AND MORRISON!
Punk - You took them out? Like on a date? Where’d ya take ‘em? Based on your faux-hawk and attitude, I bet you took them to Twilight. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Guy - THIS SUCKS!
Miz - I took them to the stage and face-planted them. Morrison is hurt so bad that Mr. Laurinitis had to release him.
Ace - I’d like to with Mr. Morrison the best in all his future endeavors.
Alberto - It is…
Punk - IF YOU SAY IT’S YOUR DESTINY, I’LL DRINK!
 
Does anyone really think John Morrison has signed a new contract with the WWE? Why would his name still be getting mentioned on TV like that if he didn't?
 
Just got back from Raw. Lots of Ryder love (yup, I bought a head band). Good show all in all. The Dolph Ziggler vs CM Punk dark match was amazing. I'll type up some more after I get some shut eye.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']The video the WWE just showed a link to...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJoZV7lgxL4[/QUOTE]

So, who do you think this is in reference to? Taker? Y2J? ...McCool? ...Kong?

I'm hoping Jericho myself, but it sorta feels like they have these made in a way where they can go either way with this. Did anyone else notice the little bug out of the twitter pop-up awhile before this interruption?
 
I've only been barely paying attention, but they seriously booked HHH/Nash as a ladder match? Kevin Nash, the man who makes walking look labored, is in a ladder match?

I just can't. I literally can't.




So... anyway, WWE Network. I wonder how nervous this has to make investors? Let's be honest, Vince's outside activities haven't always been very successful, which brings up the obvious question... what if this fails? I get that it's not the WBF or the XFL, but it's still a business venture that may not end up being profitable for them. Let's say they do move PPVs, one of the very few solid income streams for them, to the network and it tanks... once you've offered them for 'free', can you really go back to charging for them monthly (or thrice monthly, if it's fall)? Plus, there's the added issue of whether certain companies will play ball. WWE needs this to hit major cable outlets like Time Warner and Comcast, but there's the tricky issue of whether Comcast owned USA wants to give up Raw when the contract runs out. I can't imagine Comcast would be above pulling support for the Network if Vince wants to pull Raw.

The entire thing should make people nervous, mainly because it seems so slapdash. Vince's drive to get it up and running in less than a year is really, really not a great way to run a business. I don't know, this just seems like a really half-baked idea, and is only going to alienate Vince's audience even further. Most people watch Raw because they get USA. Will people go out of their way to watch it? If it disappeared, would they seek it out? What about Smackdown? The fan-base isn't really invested enough at this point to make me think this is a slam-dunk. Had Vince done this 10 years ago instead of the XFL, this would've been hugely successful. Now? Now I'm not sure if anyone cares.
 
The only reason I'd care is for the classic stuff, and I get the feeling that will be minimized as Vince seems to like to ignore the past.
 
From what's being speculated RAW and Smackdown will remain on their respected networks. I'm thinking shows such as NXT and Superstars will end up on the WWE Network.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']From what's being speculated RAW and Smackdown will remain on their respected networks. I'm thinking shows such as NXT and Superstars will end up on the WWE Network.[/QUOTE]

But if you don't have your shows that would have a guaranteed whole number rating, what else can you bring to the table?
 
I can only guess they are going to try some kind of Matt Hardy style run in angle with Morrison if he has re-signed - certainly an opportunity for him to do so with Miz in the TLC match.
 
yea they may show nxt, superstars, and these reality shows but that's one new episode a week for those.. what's going to be on the other hours of every day?
 
[quote name='pimpster4183']yea they may show nxt, superstars, and these reality shows but that's one new episode a week for those.. what's going to be on the other hours of every day?[/QUOTE]

every other episode of everything from WWE, WCW, ECW, NWA, AWA, OVW,, etc.. they have over 100,000 hours (that's what.. 11 or 12 years or so?) of content and have converted roughly a third of it for digital transmission.
 
[quote name='Vulcan2422']Just got back from Raw. Lots of Ryder love (yup, I bought a head band). Good show all in all. The Dolph Ziggler vs CM Punk dark match was amazing. I'll type up some more after I get some shut eye.[/QUOTE]

I thought I saw you on TV but wasn't sure. Now it's confirmed!

Need to find my pic of Jay Briscoe passed out in his seat at the Foley comedy show.
 
Anaconda Vice was the only submission to survive the submission wars. So now all submissions are Anaconda Vice.
 
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