The "Dem Boys" Briscoe Brothers Wrestling Thread
- Thread starter mykevermin
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mitch079
CAGiversary!
- reuploaded Botchamania 195...did AJ crap himself at 8:25?
masked lemon
CAGiversary!
So I got rid of cable a while ago, and haven't watched wrestling since Survivor Series.
Have I missed anything worthwhile?
Have I missed anything worthwhile?
masked lemon
CAGiversary!
[quote name='mitch079']
- reuploaded Botchamania 195...did AJ crap himself at 8:25?[/QUOTE]
I believe that is a hole torn in his pants.
I believe that is a hole torn in his pants.
Demolition Man
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
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http://www.ugo.com/tv/11-moments-that-led-to-the-fall-of-tna-wrestling
Yeah they did overlook a few things such as the hyper paced Impact's from a few years ago along with the mistreatment of women in the company... but otherwise its pretty spot on.
Yeah they did overlook a few things such as the hyper paced Impact's from a few years ago along with the mistreatment of women in the company... but otherwise its pretty spot on.
Survivalism
CAGiversary!
Ultimate Warrior says he is in talks with MTV regarding The Warrior Show, which features the legendary sports entertainer directing an extreme motivational mind/body/soul work-out that combines intensity, passion, comedy and inspiration.
He tweeted Thursday, "So Exec Producer at MTV sends email: "I saw the sizzle reel for The Warrior Show and LOVED it. I think it's really really great." We talk..."
Oh for
's sake.
He tweeted Thursday, "So Exec Producer at MTV sends email: "I saw the sizzle reel for The Warrior Show and LOVED it. I think it's really really great." We talk..."
Oh for
's sake.
JaytheGamefan
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 1 (100%)
Sting's getup is now a weekly highlight of the show. Roode's BOO MACHINE heat has got to go. It's impossible to tell how over he is because of it, and it makes the show seem even more fake. HAHAHA THE MAN IN ME! Dixie's theme is tremendous. Her tron should have more than just her name in diamonds - it needs at least a dozen shots of her one facial expression. Sting spent minutes telling him to apologize and Roode thankfully gave the most lewd apology ever, said that business was going through the roof with him as champ, and said she couldn't run a lemonade stand, let alone a wrestling company. AWESOME! Then he spit in Dixie's face while Tenay did his wacky OH SO OFFENDED bit and Dixie made her one face. This deal started off just okay, but man did it get great. I love Roode as the champion who takes himself seriously and lets you know how great he is. Also, unlike Raw, the world champ didn't get beat in two minutes by a jobber. Loved Roode telling AJ to watch the suit when he got pissed at him.
Joe faced Abyss, who is now from Parts Unknown. So they know the guy's real name and that was in jail for shooting his mother, or dad, or whoever it was, but they don't know where he was born. Taz confirmed that Abyss is called the monster because he's hung. Maybe he'll have a career on BangBros after wrestling. Commercial break two minutes in killed whatever flow the match had. Joe should bring back his old blue and white gear since Impact's got the whole blue and white scheme going now. Not sure why that came to mind now, many months after the color scheme change. Taz compared Joe's senton to a bahtub landing on you. Taz rules. Bully and Steiner interfered, which Abyss saw, and yet he still pinned him. Um...Abyss is a face now right? He kicked their asses afterward, so I guess it was a ploy to lure them in.
Karen bitched at her bitch army to attack other bitches. For some reason, Karen's giving Traci a return match on national TV despite hating her. TNA mutes "ass" now, while Spike airs ads with "cocksucker" barely bleeped. TNA is actually holding themselves to a higher moral standard than the network they're on for once - good for them. Then Karen's tits showed up for the ad. I'm fine with that. Gunner then made a fair proposal for a match with Garett, one on one with no bullshit. How nice of him. These two had some good chemistry here. Build up Gunner and have him face Sting and see what happens. Devon called out the tag champs, who I'd forgotten were Morgan and Crimson. Devon cut an AWESOME passionate promo here. So passionate. It veered into "HERE'S WHY I'M STILL RELEVANT PLEASE" territory, but was good. Pope then called the champions honkies. Awesome. And then he cut a promo kind of against Devon...so yeah, after MONTHS of hating each other, and then getting along for some reason that was never explained, they don't like each other again. Pope then told Devon's kids to beat down Morgan, which pissed him off so he tried to attack them before they all ran. So they're basically exactly where they were with this story six months ago. Ugh.
James Storm was shown backstage drinking with a nice long black shirt on. For some reason, this look reminded me of Billy Mitchell. Mickie faced Madison, and I loved the emphasis Tenay put on using twitter to get the women's title match over - made the title match seem more important. Taz made me laugh saying Mickie losing via choke would really affect her confidence at the PPV. Maybe. And then he called her kinda botched bulldog in a funny way too...and then botched calling a swinging neckbreaker. Tremendous commentary here. Garett was shown walking backstage for his match with Gunner next. Kinda surprised they didn't save that for PPV given that they actually put stips on it. Bully Yay! and Steiner had a wacky meeting. They need their own Youtube show.
MISTER INTENSITY GUNNER faced MISTER GAS STATION GARETT and while Bischoff and Flair came out...to justify their per appearance fee I guess, Gunner sent them away to take out Garett on his own. Gunner's character has grown just tonight by at least trying to do things for himself. He was in the military, survived, and his now a wrestler...so I'd really hope he wouldn't need help to beat Garett Bischoff. Garett took some good bumps, and Tenay said that Eric was "very powerful". I'm not sure how exactly, he doesn't seem to have an actual job in TNA. Gunner was great as a cocky bully here, and now it reminded me of the Razor-Kid match that made him a star. Garett won via fluke roll-up. Eh, see, now I want Gunner to just beat him because Garett's not really using a lot of skill to win. He just lucks into the victories. At least the Kid took advantage of a mistake and then did an impressive move to win. Gunner went to piledrive Garett on the floor, Bischoff pleaded with him to stop...so he could peel the mats back. AWESOME heel move...and then Gunner did the move in such a way that he put his hand out to block the landing and they showed it in close-up. Also, it would mean more if the piledriver wasn't a comedy act (EY's) finisher. Then Bischoff and Flair wished him well in the ambulance and Flair told Garett "HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND SEND THE NURSE TO MY HOTEL!" Flair and Eric were great here.
Storm and Angle cut money promos. Storm put Angle over as a huge deal, legit, and the best-ever, and then said Angle won most matches before they started because he scared opponents, but he wasn't scared - he's faced the death of his step-brothers, dad, grandmother, and just put his dog down. Just tremendous, realistic stuff here that made me want to see their match. I love that Storm dared Angle to jump him, and after hearing Storm, Angle didn't want any part of it. Great way to show that Storm really is on his level. They've been talking about the Storm-Angle title match a lot, but haven't shown any clips from it in this feud - it's the biggest issue I have with this feud, aside from Storm coming back a bit too early from the injury angle. Spike's getting in on the Rock action with a movie marathon - perfect ad placement having it during a wrestling show. Karen told Traci that she was going to job to Gail, and that if she went against the script, she'd face the wrath of Karen Jarrett...which she's already doing, so why should she obey her?
Devon yelled at his sons, bossed them around, and threatened to attack them while blaming Pope for his kids not obeying him. What an asshole. Two parental abuse angles on one show. Traci kicked out at 2 and the fans ACTUALLY POPPED. This got a legit reaction - people jumped up and down for this. Tremendous. Traci got a near-fall and then Karen came out to yell more. Then Madison came out and bonked Traci with the belt to give Gail the win. They're teasing Traci-Karen now after teasing Karen-Velvet. Jarrett cut a promo standing next to Roode and looked like such a joke with his comedy belt. TNA should just make their own Mexican title because then it would look major league, this stickered AAA title makes the company look so low-rent. It feels like something they'd do in '07 and not now. Daniels cut a promo about Bob Van Dam, singlets and colostomy bags. Also, he wants a straight-up wrestling match for his meaningless match with RVD at the PPV. An RVD match without gimmicks...yikes. They ran down the whole PPV card and I'd completely forgotten about both Kash-Aries and Hardy-Jarrett having a title shot vs. career stip. They didn't do anything to hype this up, didn't show clips of Hardy to make you care about him, and part of me expects them to have Hardy lose just so they can do a Mr. America angle with him. It'd be stupid since there's...well not money, but as close to money as you can get in TNA with Roode facing Hardy for the world title.
Main event of Hardy and AJ versus Roode and Jarrett, which wasn't really hyped up much at all (this is becoming more of a problem on Impact) was good stuff. I LOLed at a fan looking bored as Roode entered the ring. Loved JB leaving early because no one wanted to wait for him to finish, they just wanted to get to kicking ass. Liked Jarrett being a chickenshit heel who not only didn't want to face Hardy, but also would only face AJ if he was hurt. Tenay plugged the VGAs on Saturday, which reminded me that there were zero UFC PPV ads at all - not even local ads that UFC could've paid for in a major market. AJ, with a supposedly hurt knee, did the Pele. At least he sold it, but you'd think if his knee was hurt, he wouldn't be able to do a full no-hands backflip. The Jeffs brawled backstage and Karen raked the back, which led to Tenay bringing up the handcuff stip. I doubt that'll be as entertaining as Sunny being cuffed to Ricky Gibson at SMW's Night of the Legends show, but it should be good since Sting's so great at wacky comedy, and that role is made for it. When he does fully retire, he should be one of those guys that transitions just fine to a post-wrestling role within the business, especially since he's now a great promo. AJ won via cradle to set up Roode winning at the PPV. Roode attacked him after the match, but then decided the only way to get revenge was to do a springing tope on an injured knee...okay, this is ridiculous. And then Roode clipped his knee and slammed it on the stage. So I'm sure that'll factor in to either the whole match or just the first five minutes. And the boo machine went crazy and Roode insulted AJ while getting boo machine'd. And now some fat black chick is bonking a skinny white due with her ass. Goddamn does Spike's usual programming suck. Anyway, this was an awesome PPV-building go-home show in some ways. Tremendous job at least in theory on Roode-AJ, and an outstanding job overall with Storm-Angle. I'm disappointed that they went back to basically a rerun with the Pope-Devon stuff while doing nothing for Kash-Aries, but I guess that is better than just shoe-horning in filler to say they did something for it that week.
Screens -
Garett - not the best in the world
Quotes -
Joe faced Abyss, who is now from Parts Unknown. So they know the guy's real name and that was in jail for shooting his mother, or dad, or whoever it was, but they don't know where he was born. Taz confirmed that Abyss is called the monster because he's hung. Maybe he'll have a career on BangBros after wrestling. Commercial break two minutes in killed whatever flow the match had. Joe should bring back his old blue and white gear since Impact's got the whole blue and white scheme going now. Not sure why that came to mind now, many months after the color scheme change. Taz compared Joe's senton to a bahtub landing on you. Taz rules. Bully and Steiner interfered, which Abyss saw, and yet he still pinned him. Um...Abyss is a face now right? He kicked their asses afterward, so I guess it was a ploy to lure them in.
Karen bitched at her bitch army to attack other bitches. For some reason, Karen's giving Traci a return match on national TV despite hating her. TNA mutes "ass" now, while Spike airs ads with "cocksucker" barely bleeped. TNA is actually holding themselves to a higher moral standard than the network they're on for once - good for them. Then Karen's tits showed up for the ad. I'm fine with that. Gunner then made a fair proposal for a match with Garett, one on one with no bullshit. How nice of him. These two had some good chemistry here. Build up Gunner and have him face Sting and see what happens. Devon called out the tag champs, who I'd forgotten were Morgan and Crimson. Devon cut an AWESOME passionate promo here. So passionate. It veered into "HERE'S WHY I'M STILL RELEVANT PLEASE" territory, but was good. Pope then called the champions honkies. Awesome. And then he cut a promo kind of against Devon...so yeah, after MONTHS of hating each other, and then getting along for some reason that was never explained, they don't like each other again. Pope then told Devon's kids to beat down Morgan, which pissed him off so he tried to attack them before they all ran. So they're basically exactly where they were with this story six months ago. Ugh.
James Storm was shown backstage drinking with a nice long black shirt on. For some reason, this look reminded me of Billy Mitchell. Mickie faced Madison, and I loved the emphasis Tenay put on using twitter to get the women's title match over - made the title match seem more important. Taz made me laugh saying Mickie losing via choke would really affect her confidence at the PPV. Maybe. And then he called her kinda botched bulldog in a funny way too...and then botched calling a swinging neckbreaker. Tremendous commentary here. Garett was shown walking backstage for his match with Gunner next. Kinda surprised they didn't save that for PPV given that they actually put stips on it. Bully Yay! and Steiner had a wacky meeting. They need their own Youtube show.
MISTER INTENSITY GUNNER faced MISTER GAS STATION GARETT and while Bischoff and Flair came out...to justify their per appearance fee I guess, Gunner sent them away to take out Garett on his own. Gunner's character has grown just tonight by at least trying to do things for himself. He was in the military, survived, and his now a wrestler...so I'd really hope he wouldn't need help to beat Garett Bischoff. Garett took some good bumps, and Tenay said that Eric was "very powerful". I'm not sure how exactly, he doesn't seem to have an actual job in TNA. Gunner was great as a cocky bully here, and now it reminded me of the Razor-Kid match that made him a star. Garett won via fluke roll-up. Eh, see, now I want Gunner to just beat him because Garett's not really using a lot of skill to win. He just lucks into the victories. At least the Kid took advantage of a mistake and then did an impressive move to win. Gunner went to piledrive Garett on the floor, Bischoff pleaded with him to stop...so he could peel the mats back. AWESOME heel move...and then Gunner did the move in such a way that he put his hand out to block the landing and they showed it in close-up. Also, it would mean more if the piledriver wasn't a comedy act (EY's) finisher. Then Bischoff and Flair wished him well in the ambulance and Flair told Garett "HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND SEND THE NURSE TO MY HOTEL!" Flair and Eric were great here.
Storm and Angle cut money promos. Storm put Angle over as a huge deal, legit, and the best-ever, and then said Angle won most matches before they started because he scared opponents, but he wasn't scared - he's faced the death of his step-brothers, dad, grandmother, and just put his dog down. Just tremendous, realistic stuff here that made me want to see their match. I love that Storm dared Angle to jump him, and after hearing Storm, Angle didn't want any part of it. Great way to show that Storm really is on his level. They've been talking about the Storm-Angle title match a lot, but haven't shown any clips from it in this feud - it's the biggest issue I have with this feud, aside from Storm coming back a bit too early from the injury angle. Spike's getting in on the Rock action with a movie marathon - perfect ad placement having it during a wrestling show. Karen told Traci that she was going to job to Gail, and that if she went against the script, she'd face the wrath of Karen Jarrett...which she's already doing, so why should she obey her?
Devon yelled at his sons, bossed them around, and threatened to attack them while blaming Pope for his kids not obeying him. What an asshole. Two parental abuse angles on one show. Traci kicked out at 2 and the fans ACTUALLY POPPED. This got a legit reaction - people jumped up and down for this. Tremendous. Traci got a near-fall and then Karen came out to yell more. Then Madison came out and bonked Traci with the belt to give Gail the win. They're teasing Traci-Karen now after teasing Karen-Velvet. Jarrett cut a promo standing next to Roode and looked like such a joke with his comedy belt. TNA should just make their own Mexican title because then it would look major league, this stickered AAA title makes the company look so low-rent. It feels like something they'd do in '07 and not now. Daniels cut a promo about Bob Van Dam, singlets and colostomy bags. Also, he wants a straight-up wrestling match for his meaningless match with RVD at the PPV. An RVD match without gimmicks...yikes. They ran down the whole PPV card and I'd completely forgotten about both Kash-Aries and Hardy-Jarrett having a title shot vs. career stip. They didn't do anything to hype this up, didn't show clips of Hardy to make you care about him, and part of me expects them to have Hardy lose just so they can do a Mr. America angle with him. It'd be stupid since there's...well not money, but as close to money as you can get in TNA with Roode facing Hardy for the world title.
Main event of Hardy and AJ versus Roode and Jarrett, which wasn't really hyped up much at all (this is becoming more of a problem on Impact) was good stuff. I LOLed at a fan looking bored as Roode entered the ring. Loved JB leaving early because no one wanted to wait for him to finish, they just wanted to get to kicking ass. Liked Jarrett being a chickenshit heel who not only didn't want to face Hardy, but also would only face AJ if he was hurt. Tenay plugged the VGAs on Saturday, which reminded me that there were zero UFC PPV ads at all - not even local ads that UFC could've paid for in a major market. AJ, with a supposedly hurt knee, did the Pele. At least he sold it, but you'd think if his knee was hurt, he wouldn't be able to do a full no-hands backflip. The Jeffs brawled backstage and Karen raked the back, which led to Tenay bringing up the handcuff stip. I doubt that'll be as entertaining as Sunny being cuffed to Ricky Gibson at SMW's Night of the Legends show, but it should be good since Sting's so great at wacky comedy, and that role is made for it. When he does fully retire, he should be one of those guys that transitions just fine to a post-wrestling role within the business, especially since he's now a great promo. AJ won via cradle to set up Roode winning at the PPV. Roode attacked him after the match, but then decided the only way to get revenge was to do a springing tope on an injured knee...okay, this is ridiculous. And then Roode clipped his knee and slammed it on the stage. So I'm sure that'll factor in to either the whole match or just the first five minutes. And the boo machine went crazy and Roode insulted AJ while getting boo machine'd. And now some fat black chick is bonking a skinny white due with her ass. Goddamn does Spike's usual programming suck. Anyway, this was an awesome PPV-building go-home show in some ways. Tremendous job at least in theory on Roode-AJ, and an outstanding job overall with Storm-Angle. I'm disappointed that they went back to basically a rerun with the Pope-Devon stuff while doing nothing for Kash-Aries, but I guess that is better than just shoe-horning in filler to say they did something for it that week.
Screens -
Garett - not the best in the world
Quotes -
TNA Impact 12-8-11
Sting - We’re gonna get down to business - Roode, COME TO THE RING! (boo machine hits) CMON BOBBY ROODE! You paid one debt last week when I put you in a 3-way, we got some consequences we need to deal with and we’ll do that now. Dixie, don’t worry about Bobby cuz he’s not gonna do anything while I’m here. I wanna talk about putting your hands on Dixie being the same as putting them on me - I’ve not forgotten what happened when you put your hands on Dixie and used her as a human shield. FISTS GOING 100 MPH UNTIL YOU END UP ON THE FLOOR! DIXIE’S ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PILE AND YOUR FISTS ARE STILL GOING 100 MPH! YOU NEED TO GET RIGHT WITH DIXIE CARTER! YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO HER!
Roode - You seriously want me to apologize? Okay. I’ll apologize - that’s the kinda man I am, Sting. Let’s do this the right way - give us some space, I wanna do this right. Dixie, I wanna publicly apologize to you. I sincerely wanna say I’m sorry for not being honest with you. But as you can see, things are different now, and I’m not scared to say anything cuz I’M THE CHAMP AND YOU NEED ME! Business is better than ever since I won the title! LET’S TELL THE TRUTH! ADVERTISERS, COMMERCIALS - EVERYONE WANTS TO JUMP ON THE BOBBY ROODE EXPRESS! INCLUDING YOU! I don’t think I’d sell you a ticket - YOU’RE NOT WOMAN ENOUGH TO LAST THE WHOLE RIDE! DIXIE, YOU’RE A WANNA-BE DADDY’S RICH GIRL! YOU HAD EVERYTHING HANDED TO YOU! YOU COULDN’T RUN A LEMONADE STAND LET ALONE A WRESTLING COMPANY! I AM THE FACE OF THIS WRESTLING COMPANY! I HAVE JUST SPIT IN THE FACE OF AUTHORITY!
Tenay - I CAN’T BELIEVE HE JUST DID THAT! LOWEST POINT OF HIS CAREER!
AJ - YER A PIECE OF WORK!
Roode - Hey, watch the suit!
Tenay - Last week, Bully Ray and Steiner sent a couple of ladies for Abyss.
Taz - We found out why they call Abyss the monster.
Taz - Joe flying at you has to be like a bathtub landing on your chest. You ever have a bathtub land on your chest?
Tenay - No.
Karen - Obviously ODB didn’t do the job we thought she was capable of - AWFUL! Madison, I’m counting on you.
Madison - Thank you miss Karen.
Karen - GAME FACE ON! GET IN THE RING AND TEAR MICKIE APART! I DO NOT WANT HER AT FINAL RESOLUTION IN ONE PIECE!
Sting - Gunner, IT’S OVER NOW.Y OU’RE OVERSTEPPING YOUR LINES NOW!
Gunner - Garett’s asked for matches with me twice - I WANT ONE REMATCH! NO FLAIR, NO BISCHOFF! ME AND GARETT ONE ON ONE. NO FLAIR, NO BISCHOFF!
Sting - All right.
Devon - Before we get started, I wanna bring out Morgan and Crimson. The reason I brought you out here was to congratulate the new TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Prior to taking the titles, you guys were fighting and weren’t the team you shoulda been! BUT THEN A COUPLE DAYS LATER, ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU BEAT DA HELL OUTTA MEXICAN AMERICA! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Gentlemen, me being in one of the greatest teams in history - hold on Pope! Not yet! I happen to know a thing about tag teams. My brother and I won 23 titles since being together! We have faced some of the greatest teams in the world today. MACHINE GUNS! BEER MONEY! THE STEINERS! AND ONE OF THE GREATEST TEAMS, THE HARDY BOYS - JEFF AND MATT! Now I’ll say this - both of you, has what it takes to become legends in this business. YOU GUYS HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME NUMBA ONE FOR A LONG TIME. YOU HAVE THE SPEED, THE AGILITY, YOU GOT THA TOTAL PACKAGE! BUT THERE’S ONE THING YA GOTTA UNDERSTAND - POPE AND I ARE NOW A TAG TEAM. WE’LL BE FACING YOU AT FINAL RESOLUTION! I’M EXPECTING YOU TO BRING YOU’RE A GAME, CUZ LORD KNOWS POPE AND I WILL BE BRINGING OUR A GAME. WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, THAT LITTLE LADY WILL BE ANNOUNCING NEW TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, POPE AND DEVON! LET’S END IT LIKE THIS - WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO, OH MY BROTHER! TESTIFY! MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN!
Pope - Hold the music. You two have proven to be two of the biggest dumbest honkies we come across in a long time. THIS AIN’T ABOUT 23, 24 TIME one time for me TAG TITLES. THIS IS ABOUT THE ALMIGHTY DOLLA. WITH THE GOLD COMES THA MOONAAAAAAAAYYY! And as long as you guys got it, then Pope and Captain Him are coming for it. Sunday, we’re gonna do…I don’t care how low I gotta go, POPE IS GONNA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GARNISH THOSE TITLES. Testify to that. POPE HAS SPOKEN!
Taz - If Madison could beat Mickie with the choke, that would really affect her confidence. Maybe.
Taz - Madison with some sort of a bulldog of types.
Taz - Russian leg…
Tenay - Russian leg neck breaker!
Taz - First time I called a wrestling match.
Ray - YOU GAVE HIM GIRLS!
Steiner - THEY WERE MY BEST GIRLS!
Ray - NO REASON TO BLACK HOLE SLAM YA!
Steiner - ME AND ERIC ARE TIGHT, I’LL TALK TO HIM!
Ray - GO TALK TO HIM!
Steiner - I’LL GO TALK TO HIM!
Ray - SHUT UP AND GO TALK TO HIM!
Tenay - I THOUGHT PART OF THE DEAL WAS NO FLAIR AND BISCHOFF!
Taz - Maybe things changed. That can happen. MISTER INTENSITY IS READY TO GO!
Bischoff - MAKING HIS DEBUT, HOW’S THAT FEEL, PUNK!?
Flair - YOU WANNA BE A BIG-TIME WRESTLER? HOW’S THAT FEEL!
Steiner - TAKE HIS BLOOD PRESSURE!
Flair - HAPPY HOLIDAYS! SEND THE NURSE TO THE HOTEL!
Taz - Angle got in his face…via satellite.
Storm - Last week, a man told me to come here and I don’t back down from a challenge. I’m here standing. Angle, where you at? Why don’t you come on down here? You got something to say, say it to my face!
Angle - James, I gotta give you credit - you’re either stupid, or one of the toughest SOBs I’ve ever met. A few weeks ago when I attacked you, I hit you hard I thought I gave myself a conussion. I thought you’d be out six months - it was only three weeks. That’s on me - I screwed up. I WON’T SCREW UP AGAIN! AT FINAL RESOLUTION, YOU’RE IN MY WORLD! I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN HOW YA SCREWED ME FOR THE TITLE. WHEN I WAS FORCED TO WRESTLE YOU! NOW, I’LL BE WELL-PREPARED. I think about you morning, noon, and night.
Storm - I don’t need you to think about me when you got to bed - that kinda creeps me out, but that’s that voice - that intimidation factor. You win most of your matches before you have ‘em! YOU MAKE ‘EM THINK WHAT’LL HAPPEN TO ‘EM WHEN THEY STEP IN THE RING WITH THE BEST IN THE WORLD, AN OLYMPIC GOLD-MEDALIST, A 13-TIME WORLD CHAMPION! Lemme tell ya something about me - my dad passed away when I was 12. I HAD TWO STEP BROTHERS KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER AT 15! MY STEP DAD DIED AT 16, AND MY GRANDMOTHER DIED AT 19. I JUST PUT MY DOG OF SIX YEARS DOWN LAST WEEK. I’VE STARED DEATH IN THE FACE AND YOU DON’T SCARE ME! I BEAT YOU FOR THAT WORLD TITLE! THIS TIME, WHEN YOU’RE ON THE RECEIVING END OF THE LAST CALL, I’LL TAKE MY SIZE 12 BOOT AND STEP ON YOUR NOGGIN AND CRUSH IT LIKE A BEER CAN! To show you how scared I am of you, YOU LIKE TO JUMP PEOPLE? YOU FEEL FROGGY - JUMP!
Karen - Traci, you’re gonna go to the ring, the bell’s gonna go…
Gail - DING DING DING!
Karen - AND YOU’LL LAY ON YOUR BACK! WHICH I KNOW YOU’RE USED TO! HAHAHA, AND IF YOU DON’T DO IT,Y OU’LL FEEL THE WRATH OF KAREN JARRETT!
Devon - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? YOU DID IT AGAIN! BOY, I WILL KNOCK THE HELL OUTTA YOU! I’m gonna get outta here before I do something I regret. YOU THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT YOU DID! LONG AND HARD!
Pope - Stick with Pope and y’all will be main eventing in no time.
Tenay - We know what this is about…
Taz - What’s it about?
Tenay - KAREN MAKING TRACI WRESTLE!
Taz - When’s the last time she wrestled? Do you know?
Taz - Since coming back, Gail’s been a firecracker. SHE’S A HOOT! Some people say that, right?
Tenay - You do.
Daniels - WHY DOES THIS COMPANY CONTINUE TO TOLERATE BOB VAN DAM!? WHY IS A SINGLET LIKE A COLOSTOMY BAG?
Tenay - GET OUTTA THERE JB!
Taz - HE SHOULDA STAYED - IT’A BEEN FUNNY!
Taz - JARRETT DOING SOME TEBOWIN!
Taz - STOMP ON THE OLE’ YAMBAG REGION!
Taz - PELE! Or Pallay as they say in Spain.
Tenay - We’ll stick with Pele.
Roode - SEE THIS! IT’S MINE! YOU CAN’T HAVE IT CUZ YOU CAN’T BEAT ME!
Sting - We’re gonna get down to business - Roode, COME TO THE RING! (boo machine hits) CMON BOBBY ROODE! You paid one debt last week when I put you in a 3-way, we got some consequences we need to deal with and we’ll do that now. Dixie, don’t worry about Bobby cuz he’s not gonna do anything while I’m here. I wanna talk about putting your hands on Dixie being the same as putting them on me - I’ve not forgotten what happened when you put your hands on Dixie and used her as a human shield. FISTS GOING 100 MPH UNTIL YOU END UP ON THE FLOOR! DIXIE’S ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PILE AND YOUR FISTS ARE STILL GOING 100 MPH! YOU NEED TO GET RIGHT WITH DIXIE CARTER! YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO HER!
Roode - You seriously want me to apologize? Okay. I’ll apologize - that’s the kinda man I am, Sting. Let’s do this the right way - give us some space, I wanna do this right. Dixie, I wanna publicly apologize to you. I sincerely wanna say I’m sorry for not being honest with you. But as you can see, things are different now, and I’m not scared to say anything cuz I’M THE CHAMP AND YOU NEED ME! Business is better than ever since I won the title! LET’S TELL THE TRUTH! ADVERTISERS, COMMERCIALS - EVERYONE WANTS TO JUMP ON THE BOBBY ROODE EXPRESS! INCLUDING YOU! I don’t think I’d sell you a ticket - YOU’RE NOT WOMAN ENOUGH TO LAST THE WHOLE RIDE! DIXIE, YOU’RE A WANNA-BE DADDY’S RICH GIRL! YOU HAD EVERYTHING HANDED TO YOU! YOU COULDN’T RUN A LEMONADE STAND LET ALONE A WRESTLING COMPANY! I AM THE FACE OF THIS WRESTLING COMPANY! I HAVE JUST SPIT IN THE FACE OF AUTHORITY!
Tenay - I CAN’T BELIEVE HE JUST DID THAT! LOWEST POINT OF HIS CAREER!
AJ - YER A PIECE OF WORK!
Roode - Hey, watch the suit!
Tenay - Last week, Bully Ray and Steiner sent a couple of ladies for Abyss.
Taz - We found out why they call Abyss the monster.
Taz - Joe flying at you has to be like a bathtub landing on your chest. You ever have a bathtub land on your chest?
Tenay - No.
Karen - Obviously ODB didn’t do the job we thought she was capable of - AWFUL! Madison, I’m counting on you.
Madison - Thank you miss Karen.
Karen - GAME FACE ON! GET IN THE RING AND TEAR MICKIE APART! I DO NOT WANT HER AT FINAL RESOLUTION IN ONE PIECE!
Sting - Gunner, IT’S OVER NOW.Y OU’RE OVERSTEPPING YOUR LINES NOW!
Gunner - Garett’s asked for matches with me twice - I WANT ONE REMATCH! NO FLAIR, NO BISCHOFF! ME AND GARETT ONE ON ONE. NO FLAIR, NO BISCHOFF!
Sting - All right.
Devon - Before we get started, I wanna bring out Morgan and Crimson. The reason I brought you out here was to congratulate the new TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Prior to taking the titles, you guys were fighting and weren’t the team you shoulda been! BUT THEN A COUPLE DAYS LATER, ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU BEAT DA HELL OUTTA MEXICAN AMERICA! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Gentlemen, me being in one of the greatest teams in history - hold on Pope! Not yet! I happen to know a thing about tag teams. My brother and I won 23 titles since being together! We have faced some of the greatest teams in the world today. MACHINE GUNS! BEER MONEY! THE STEINERS! AND ONE OF THE GREATEST TEAMS, THE HARDY BOYS - JEFF AND MATT! Now I’ll say this - both of you, has what it takes to become legends in this business. YOU GUYS HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME NUMBA ONE FOR A LONG TIME. YOU HAVE THE SPEED, THE AGILITY, YOU GOT THA TOTAL PACKAGE! BUT THERE’S ONE THING YA GOTTA UNDERSTAND - POPE AND I ARE NOW A TAG TEAM. WE’LL BE FACING YOU AT FINAL RESOLUTION! I’M EXPECTING YOU TO BRING YOU’RE A GAME, CUZ LORD KNOWS POPE AND I WILL BE BRINGING OUR A GAME. WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, THAT LITTLE LADY WILL BE ANNOUNCING NEW TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, POPE AND DEVON! LET’S END IT LIKE THIS - WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO, OH MY BROTHER! TESTIFY! MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN!
Pope - Hold the music. You two have proven to be two of the biggest dumbest honkies we come across in a long time. THIS AIN’T ABOUT 23, 24 TIME one time for me TAG TITLES. THIS IS ABOUT THE ALMIGHTY DOLLA. WITH THE GOLD COMES THA MOONAAAAAAAAYYY! And as long as you guys got it, then Pope and Captain Him are coming for it. Sunday, we’re gonna do…I don’t care how low I gotta go, POPE IS GONNA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GARNISH THOSE TITLES. Testify to that. POPE HAS SPOKEN!
Taz - If Madison could beat Mickie with the choke, that would really affect her confidence. Maybe.
Taz - Madison with some sort of a bulldog of types.
Taz - Russian leg…
Tenay - Russian leg neck breaker!
Taz - First time I called a wrestling match.
Ray - YOU GAVE HIM GIRLS!
Steiner - THEY WERE MY BEST GIRLS!
Ray - NO REASON TO BLACK HOLE SLAM YA!
Steiner - ME AND ERIC ARE TIGHT, I’LL TALK TO HIM!
Ray - GO TALK TO HIM!
Steiner - I’LL GO TALK TO HIM!
Ray - SHUT UP AND GO TALK TO HIM!
Tenay - I THOUGHT PART OF THE DEAL WAS NO FLAIR AND BISCHOFF!
Taz - Maybe things changed. That can happen. MISTER INTENSITY IS READY TO GO!
Bischoff - MAKING HIS DEBUT, HOW’S THAT FEEL, PUNK!?
Flair - YOU WANNA BE A BIG-TIME WRESTLER? HOW’S THAT FEEL!
Steiner - TAKE HIS BLOOD PRESSURE!
Flair - HAPPY HOLIDAYS! SEND THE NURSE TO THE HOTEL!
Taz - Angle got in his face…via satellite.
Storm - Last week, a man told me to come here and I don’t back down from a challenge. I’m here standing. Angle, where you at? Why don’t you come on down here? You got something to say, say it to my face!
Angle - James, I gotta give you credit - you’re either stupid, or one of the toughest SOBs I’ve ever met. A few weeks ago when I attacked you, I hit you hard I thought I gave myself a conussion. I thought you’d be out six months - it was only three weeks. That’s on me - I screwed up. I WON’T SCREW UP AGAIN! AT FINAL RESOLUTION, YOU’RE IN MY WORLD! I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN HOW YA SCREWED ME FOR THE TITLE. WHEN I WAS FORCED TO WRESTLE YOU! NOW, I’LL BE WELL-PREPARED. I think about you morning, noon, and night.
Storm - I don’t need you to think about me when you got to bed - that kinda creeps me out, but that’s that voice - that intimidation factor. You win most of your matches before you have ‘em! YOU MAKE ‘EM THINK WHAT’LL HAPPEN TO ‘EM WHEN THEY STEP IN THE RING WITH THE BEST IN THE WORLD, AN OLYMPIC GOLD-MEDALIST, A 13-TIME WORLD CHAMPION! Lemme tell ya something about me - my dad passed away when I was 12. I HAD TWO STEP BROTHERS KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER AT 15! MY STEP DAD DIED AT 16, AND MY GRANDMOTHER DIED AT 19. I JUST PUT MY DOG OF SIX YEARS DOWN LAST WEEK. I’VE STARED DEATH IN THE FACE AND YOU DON’T SCARE ME! I BEAT YOU FOR THAT WORLD TITLE! THIS TIME, WHEN YOU’RE ON THE RECEIVING END OF THE LAST CALL, I’LL TAKE MY SIZE 12 BOOT AND STEP ON YOUR NOGGIN AND CRUSH IT LIKE A BEER CAN! To show you how scared I am of you, YOU LIKE TO JUMP PEOPLE? YOU FEEL FROGGY - JUMP!
Karen - Traci, you’re gonna go to the ring, the bell’s gonna go…
Gail - DING DING DING!
Karen - AND YOU’LL LAY ON YOUR BACK! WHICH I KNOW YOU’RE USED TO! HAHAHA, AND IF YOU DON’T DO IT,Y OU’LL FEEL THE WRATH OF KAREN JARRETT!
Devon - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? YOU DID IT AGAIN! BOY, I WILL KNOCK THE HELL OUTTA YOU! I’m gonna get outta here before I do something I regret. YOU THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT YOU DID! LONG AND HARD!
Pope - Stick with Pope and y’all will be main eventing in no time.
Tenay - We know what this is about…
Taz - What’s it about?
Tenay - KAREN MAKING TRACI WRESTLE!
Taz - When’s the last time she wrestled? Do you know?
Taz - Since coming back, Gail’s been a firecracker. SHE’S A HOOT! Some people say that, right?
Tenay - You do.
Daniels - WHY DOES THIS COMPANY CONTINUE TO TOLERATE BOB VAN DAM!? WHY IS A SINGLET LIKE A COLOSTOMY BAG?
Tenay - GET OUTTA THERE JB!
Taz - HE SHOULDA STAYED - IT’A BEEN FUNNY!
Taz - JARRETT DOING SOME TEBOWIN!
Taz - STOMP ON THE OLE’ YAMBAG REGION!
Taz - PELE! Or Pallay as they say in Spain.
Tenay - We’ll stick with Pele.
Roode - SEE THIS! IT’S MINE! YOU CAN’T HAVE IT CUZ YOU CAN’T BEAT ME!
Demolition Man
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Short version for those who felt Jay's review falls under the "TL;DR" category:
"Another typical TNA Impact I mean Impact Wrestling with the same illogical booking and all the other nonsense you expect from that company!"
"Another typical TNA Impact I mean Impact Wrestling with the same illogical booking and all the other nonsense you expect from that company!"
TooMuchCoolness
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I pulled a Scott Hall today. Didn't feel like working 8 hours, blah...
Dunno if anyone posted this before, but here's an unused Punk theme:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T6wtDxqzZA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T6wtDxqzZA
You showed up for work near-comatose thanks to some insane drug combination?
You did the worlds slowest discus punch/clothesline?
You had a son with a promising future who ultimately decided not to follow in your footsteps?
You invaded a rival company with your even larger friend and beat up one of their employees?
You beat Shawn Michaels in a ladder match?
You are friends with ICP?
You killed a man outside a strip club?
EDIT - almost forgot the real reason I came here. That new Austin Bluray is amazing so far. I'm like an hour into the documentary and they seem to have really let him say whatever he wanted to. He pretty much shits on every overproduced promo and match of the past ten years. It's hilarious.
You did the worlds slowest discus punch/clothesline?
You had a son with a promising future who ultimately decided not to follow in your footsteps?
You invaded a rival company with your even larger friend and beat up one of their employees?
You beat Shawn Michaels in a ladder match?
You are friends with ICP?
You killed a man outside a strip club?
EDIT - almost forgot the real reason I came here. That new Austin Bluray is amazing so far. I'm like an hour into the documentary and they seem to have really let him say whatever he wanted to. He pretty much shits on every overproduced promo and match of the past ten years. It's hilarious.
Survivalism
CAGiversary!
I love the Austin DVD. I hate to use this term, but he's a straight shooter if I ever saw one. I love how the Brock Lesnar thing came down to
"I behaved badly, but only because you're ing stupid."
ing stupid."
mykevermin
CAGiversary!
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That summation makes sense (about Lesnar/Austin), Survivalism.
I had no idea the Austin video was out already. Any comments on (1) the video quality of older footage on Blu-Ray or (2) audio/video edits?
I had no idea the Austin video was out already. Any comments on (1) the video quality of older footage on Blu-Ray or (2) audio/video edits?
masked lemon
CAGiversary!
Is it on Netflix yet?
JaytheGamefan
CAGiversary!
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Opener was every match RVD's going to have in his career at this point, and wow, Daniels went from feuding with a main eventer in AJ to opening the PPV in like two months. Of course, RVD went from being a WWE Champion to the same thing so...yeah...the TNA effect hit them both. Robbie E-EY was the usual fun comedy with EY working his ass off when he actually did moves. Robbie E's glasses ruled, and I loved as Robbie did the fist pump in his intro, there's a kid in the front row with a birthday cake hat on and I couldn't figure out who looked more ridiculous. EY teasing the old double DVD spot was good to see again. He's a shockingly strong dude - if they actually used that kind of spot for a big guy, like Rob Terry ironically enough, maybe the guy could get over as something special. Also, Tenay and Taz were TREMENDOUS on commentary, just hilarious. Tag title match was terrible. Pre-match promo by Pope and Devon was worlds better than the actual match. I like that now, Devon and Pope have matching gear, and no matter what, Pope at least treats himself like he's a star even if the booking doesn't. This team needs to use Pope's theme because it's actually good and Devon's is too generic. Either Morgan and Crimson's theme for the team would be better than their new team theme.
Aries-Kash was just awesome, and I loved Kash doing the role reversal from his old Mike Awesome superbomb>rana spot. Mickie's new super giant jean shorts were a fail. Loved Gail's reverse Alabama slam out of the corner - nice sick-sounding thud for it. The overall match was pretty good - Gail is really at home in TNA. James Storm is THE MAN in TNA. Great pre-match promo, not on part with the one from Impact, but still really good. He promised to go out there and have a great match for everyone in the crowd, from the guy in the last row to the kid in the front with the birthday hat on! And then he went and did just that AND slapped hands with the birthday boy during the match. Tremendous. Loved the match, and Angle showed that despite a bunch of injuries, he can still go and have a great match when given some time to heal up. Loved the subtle post-match, there was no beating, no run-ins, just Angle looking back and pondering while Storm celebrated. They kind of built it up that Angle now had some respect for Storm since he beat him in a legit match, which could easily and logically lead to an Angle face turn and/or them even teaming up. The latter would require a bit of explanation and time between now and then, but could be done. Hardy-Jarrett was better than I expected, but with Hardy doing some really stupid shit. He's got a messed-up back, so he of course does a swanton off the top of a cage and misses. Still wins the match, but instead of finding out which Jarrett is fired here on the PPV CALLED FINAL RESOLUTION, we have to wait until Impact. Iron man was really good and well-paced and I loved that AJ not only used the crossface against Roode, but Roode also tapped quickly - putting the move over as that much more damaging. However, the match was also hurt by the WAIT FOR IMPACT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS deal because they had a tie and for some reason didn't go for a sudden death round even though there was time left to do the old five more minutes spot. I guess they'll do a rematch for Impact to settle this, or just make next month's main event a three-way for the title.
Screens -
Quotes -
Aries-Kash was just awesome, and I loved Kash doing the role reversal from his old Mike Awesome superbomb>rana spot. Mickie's new super giant jean shorts were a fail. Loved Gail's reverse Alabama slam out of the corner - nice sick-sounding thud for it. The overall match was pretty good - Gail is really at home in TNA. James Storm is THE MAN in TNA. Great pre-match promo, not on part with the one from Impact, but still really good. He promised to go out there and have a great match for everyone in the crowd, from the guy in the last row to the kid in the front with the birthday hat on! And then he went and did just that AND slapped hands with the birthday boy during the match. Tremendous. Loved the match, and Angle showed that despite a bunch of injuries, he can still go and have a great match when given some time to heal up. Loved the subtle post-match, there was no beating, no run-ins, just Angle looking back and pondering while Storm celebrated. They kind of built it up that Angle now had some respect for Storm since he beat him in a legit match, which could easily and logically lead to an Angle face turn and/or them even teaming up. The latter would require a bit of explanation and time between now and then, but could be done. Hardy-Jarrett was better than I expected, but with Hardy doing some really stupid shit. He's got a messed-up back, so he of course does a swanton off the top of a cage and misses. Still wins the match, but instead of finding out which Jarrett is fired here on the PPV CALLED FINAL RESOLUTION, we have to wait until Impact. Iron man was really good and well-paced and I loved that AJ not only used the crossface against Roode, but Roode also tapped quickly - putting the move over as that much more damaging. However, the match was also hurt by the WAIT FOR IMPACT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS deal because they had a tie and for some reason didn't go for a sudden death round even though there was time left to do the old five more minutes spot. I guess they'll do a rematch for Impact to settle this, or just make next month's main event a three-way for the title.
Screens -
Quotes -
TNA Final Resolution 2011
(after EY locks up with fans) Taz - Do they get a payday for that?
Tenay - Royalties on the DVD?
Taz - I wonder if EY’s playing possum - he looks like one.
Taz - LEAVE YA BRITCHES ON! He’s always slapping himself, what’s that about? Don’t say it…
Taz - Robbie E wanted me to mention the back of his tights - there’s a gorilla on ‘em. Cuz the girls say he’s a gorilla, ya know, like Jersey Shore.
Tenay - Anything else?
Taz - Nope, just that.
Tenay - Nice factoid, BACK TO THE MOUNT!
Taz - EY’s eyes are more gazed around than usual.
Tenay - I think that’s glazed.
Taz - Glazed, gazed - still got the Thanksgiving thing going on.
Tenay - HUH?
Taz - EY’s head is the size of a small plot-plane engine. Let’s get that fact out there.
(after the double DVD spot attempt)Taz - SHADES OF TED ARCIDI!
Taz - A lot of teams don’t get along - all of my partners hated me.
Taz - Knockouts title…referee’s Stiffler…apropos.
Tenay - You’re on fire tonight.
Taz - High road.
Taz - MICKIE’S IN A SPLIT!
JB - My guest at this time is about to step in the ring with the Olympic gold medalist, Kurt Angle. THE BEER-DRINKER, THE COWBOY JAMES STORM!
Storm - JB, what did you just call me? BEER!?
JB - DRINKER!
Storm - BEER!
JB - Drinker!
Storm - EXACTLY, THAT’S WHAT I AM. I’M A BEER-DRINKING ASS-KICKING MACHINE. WE’RE GONNA DO IT FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN ORLANDO WHO CAME TO HAVE FUN AND RAISE HELL. TONIGHT, KURT , LEMME TELLA YA - I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO whoever you are in life, no matter how big and bad you think you are, there’s always somebody bigger and badder that can always knock ya down. And tonight, I’m that guy. EVERYBODY IN THE CROWD, GET UP OFF YA FEET AND RAISE HELL FROM THE GUY IN THE TOP ROW WITH THE BEER DRINKING SHIRT, TO THE GUY IN THE FRONT ROW WITH THE BIRTHDAY HAT! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY! CUZ TONIGHT, I BEAT YOU TWO TIMES IN A ROW. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I HAVE TO TELL YOU KURT, ACTUALLY, MY HEART, I MEANT MY BALLS! SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK! BEER! DRINKER!
Tenay - KURT’S LIKE A WRESTLING MACHINE!
Taz - I’m gonna call that an underdog…upset win I should say.
Taz - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
(after EY locks up with fans) Taz - Do they get a payday for that?
Tenay - Royalties on the DVD?
Taz - I wonder if EY’s playing possum - he looks like one.
Taz - LEAVE YA BRITCHES ON! He’s always slapping himself, what’s that about? Don’t say it…
Taz - Robbie E wanted me to mention the back of his tights - there’s a gorilla on ‘em. Cuz the girls say he’s a gorilla, ya know, like Jersey Shore.
Tenay - Anything else?
Taz - Nope, just that.
Tenay - Nice factoid, BACK TO THE MOUNT!
Taz - EY’s eyes are more gazed around than usual.
Tenay - I think that’s glazed.
Taz - Glazed, gazed - still got the Thanksgiving thing going on.
Tenay - HUH?
Taz - EY’s head is the size of a small plot-plane engine. Let’s get that fact out there.
(after the double DVD spot attempt)Taz - SHADES OF TED ARCIDI!
Taz - A lot of teams don’t get along - all of my partners hated me.
Taz - Knockouts title…referee’s Stiffler…apropos.
Tenay - You’re on fire tonight.
Taz - High road.
Taz - MICKIE’S IN A SPLIT!
JB - My guest at this time is about to step in the ring with the Olympic gold medalist, Kurt Angle. THE BEER-DRINKER, THE COWBOY JAMES STORM!
Storm - JB, what did you just call me? BEER!?
JB - DRINKER!
Storm - BEER!
JB - Drinker!
Storm - EXACTLY, THAT’S WHAT I AM. I’M A BEER-DRINKING ASS-KICKING MACHINE. WE’RE GONNA DO IT FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN ORLANDO WHO CAME TO HAVE FUN AND RAISE HELL. TONIGHT, KURT , LEMME TELLA YA - I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO whoever you are in life, no matter how big and bad you think you are, there’s always somebody bigger and badder that can always knock ya down. And tonight, I’m that guy. EVERYBODY IN THE CROWD, GET UP OFF YA FEET AND RAISE HELL FROM THE GUY IN THE TOP ROW WITH THE BEER DRINKING SHIRT, TO THE GUY IN THE FRONT ROW WITH THE BIRTHDAY HAT! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY! CUZ TONIGHT, I BEAT YOU TWO TIMES IN A ROW. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I HAVE TO TELL YOU KURT, ACTUALLY, MY HEART, I MEANT MY BALLS! SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK! BEER! DRINKER!
Tenay - KURT’S LIKE A WRESTLING MACHINE!
Taz - I’m gonna call that an underdog…upset win I should say.
Taz - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
mykevermin
CAGiversary!
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Rellik returned at the PPV?
ShinSolidus
CAGiversary!
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That rap battle--- errr "freestyle rap-off" has nothing on this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxnd6bbxGWc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxnd6bbxGWc
Purple Flames
CAGiversary!
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Survivalism
CAGiversary!
That. Was. Awesome.
JaytheGamefan
CAGiversary!
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Loved the wacky techno rap theme for the Slammys - I hope #midlifecrisis is trending! Booker and Swog rule. Then they spent 15 minutes burying J.R. with what even Cole said was the worst segment of the year. Ted Sr and Mick did a fun skit, then Show won for the superplex, said basically nothing, and got to wrestle. Great. 25 minutes in and the first match is with Big Show and Barrett in a match neither guy can lose cleanly in. Match was a few minutes of nothing until Show punched a chair into Barrett's head and pie-faced him over the top rope. Way to make him look strong in his new main event rise. New Nash-HHH ad is hilarious. YAY ROAD DOGG! Dude was awesome on the mic here. A video aired mocking Booker and J.R. and generally making everything look like a farce. This was for the Pipe Bomb of the year - Punk's actual promo might've taken less time than this. Punk won the award for...something in this video I think. Then Punk aired THE greatest video in human history for Ace, which included that WXO clip from Youtube. This was amazing and made me glad I watched, so...three minutes of stuff worth watching in the first 45 minutes. I can't believe it took them five months to FINALLY put something like that on TV, but it was worth the wait.
Lita came back in quite the surprise to present the divalicous moment, always being shot from far away here in the HD era. Kelly won, and was thankfully interrupted by Beth after saying omygosh. Then Cole exposed the show's scripting by saying J.R. forgot his lines. The Bellas and Santino did bad OMG-related comedy, so of course it was used to build up some of the most dramatic moments of the year. There's also apparently some sort of difference between the holy shit and OMG moments. HHH made his return after being killed with a sledgehammer to accept a comedy award. Seems a bit like a waste. I was expecting OMG to go to Nash's return so he could cut another promo about being the most over guy at the Rumble. Instead, HHH got to come out to a relatively mild pop. HHH laid in the WM rematch with 'Taker pretty heavily, and then said he'd like to see Nash's attack on him again. Oh, and he ended the streak at Mania because he walked out and Taker didn't. Even Chris Daniels would call bullshit on that logic. Oh, and he's always right and will smash hammers over those who disagree. And then he threatened to attack Santino who was trying to hand him the Slammy. HHH is kind of an asshole.
They plugged Tribute to the Troops, and Otunga and Tony Atlas got to present the TWITTER AWARD! This might've been the worst skit yet. It was just Tony laughing and Otunga maybe saying a sentence, AND THEN THE VIDEO FOCUSED ON THE WORD TRENDING BY SAYING IT A BILLION TIMES. They had a twitter 4-way, with two winners - the match winner, and whoever won the twitter award would be the first guy in this match to trend on twitter. Or trend the highest, or something. The match itself was pretty good. it was nice to have an actual match AN HOUR AND A HALF INTO THE SHOW, and they did 3-way versions of the Dean-Eddie cradle spots that were cool. Really good match, although I'm not a fan of Danielson losing to yet another champion. Dolph won the match, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, RYDER WON THE TWITTER AWARD, and so he'll get the U.S. Title on Sunday. Oh, and apparently, it was going to be determined by the end of the match, which means that WWE's got one hell of a crew because Lawler had a sealed envelop all ready to go.
Christian came out to present the Game Changer of the Year, which meant THE ONE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING, like a few other awards. I was hoping this would lead to an E + C reunion since Edge's retirement was up, but instead it was Cena and Rock, which SHOULD have won, but...eh, would've rather had E and C than Cena cut a promo. Cena came out, buried Rock, and then told you to not give a shit about anything until WM. Oh, and he wants the Rock to come back and put BOOTS TO ASSES. He's coming back AGAINST HIM, so I guess he wants to get his ass kicked. Orton and Punk teamed against Miz and Alberto, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, COLE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT TWITTER. Also, King compared Christian's never-ending neck brace to Kaufman's, which I don't remember because I WASN'T BORN WHEN THAT ANGLE HAPPENED. Orton was in the ring, so he should've talked about his dad's always-broken arm. Cole then brought up J.R. posting the whole rap "he forgot" despite that supposedly coming out of nowhere and insulted J.R. some more. "Barrett surprised Orton from behind" to cost Punk the match, so at least Punk's retaining the title. Then Del Rio put the armbar on Punk with the ladder, which made him do the move all weirdly. I guess having a metal ladder resting on his arm was supposed to hurt it more. I would think it would provide some cooling relief. Oh, and Miz cut another INTENSE MIZ promo. Yawn.
WWE Network ad aired. I think Mean Gene is in the Legends House. Oh, and it'll be the most interactive network with a "second-screen experience, multi-platinum strategy, and mobile apps", so whatever those first two things mean, great. Apps could make them some money if they're used for actual video content and not just WWE SOCIAL INTERACTION! Snooki brought it via satellite for her A-Lister of the year award. I'm surprised the Muppets didn't win because they basically showed all of their good material throughout the show, and they'll be on the Tribute to the Troops show. They plugged the TLC Handbook in WWE Magazine, but they should have one for Twitter instead. Sheamus came out to face Jinder...or not, he just got kicked in the face after cutting a promo to zero heat. Rey returned to present the Superstar of the year, which just had plain graphics for everyone instead of wacky video packages. Ace came out to humbly accept the award for Punk, and then Henry walk backstage to get 2012'd. They shilled Tribute to the Troops and talked about a moment with a Sgt. General coming up and hugging Vince, and then they showed her kid and family. This was a nice gesture that WWE will be sure to remind everyone of many times, especially around election time. Cena faced Henry for 30 seconds before a commercial break. Perfect timing for the main event. Show came back and they exchanged moves. Henry did a bearhug that was hilarious because Cena used RVD-like OWWSSSS to really sell it. Then Kane came back in an outfit that honestly looks cheaper than Abyss's old demin jeans and vest combo and chokeslammed Cena. Made sense that he came back for Henry's match, Cena attack didn't make sense...didn't really dig this. This is by far the worst look the character has ever had, and I don't know what to make of the big oversized iron mask. The half-mask ain't so great either.
Screens -
Kane's return peaked around here...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lita came back in quite the surprise to present the divalicous moment, always being shot from far away here in the HD era. Kelly won, and was thankfully interrupted by Beth after saying omygosh. Then Cole exposed the show's scripting by saying J.R. forgot his lines. The Bellas and Santino did bad OMG-related comedy, so of course it was used to build up some of the most dramatic moments of the year. There's also apparently some sort of difference between the holy shit and OMG moments. HHH made his return after being killed with a sledgehammer to accept a comedy award. Seems a bit like a waste. I was expecting OMG to go to Nash's return so he could cut another promo about being the most over guy at the Rumble. Instead, HHH got to come out to a relatively mild pop. HHH laid in the WM rematch with 'Taker pretty heavily, and then said he'd like to see Nash's attack on him again. Oh, and he ended the streak at Mania because he walked out and Taker didn't. Even Chris Daniels would call bullshit on that logic. Oh, and he's always right and will smash hammers over those who disagree. And then he threatened to attack Santino who was trying to hand him the Slammy. HHH is kind of an asshole.
They plugged Tribute to the Troops, and Otunga and Tony Atlas got to present the TWITTER AWARD! This might've been the worst skit yet. It was just Tony laughing and Otunga maybe saying a sentence, AND THEN THE VIDEO FOCUSED ON THE WORD TRENDING BY SAYING IT A BILLION TIMES. They had a twitter 4-way, with two winners - the match winner, and whoever won the twitter award would be the first guy in this match to trend on twitter. Or trend the highest, or something. The match itself was pretty good. it was nice to have an actual match AN HOUR AND A HALF INTO THE SHOW, and they did 3-way versions of the Dean-Eddie cradle spots that were cool. Really good match, although I'm not a fan of Danielson losing to yet another champion. Dolph won the match, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, RYDER WON THE TWITTER AWARD, and so he'll get the U.S. Title on Sunday. Oh, and apparently, it was going to be determined by the end of the match, which means that WWE's got one hell of a crew because Lawler had a sealed envelop all ready to go.
Christian came out to present the Game Changer of the Year, which meant THE ONE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING, like a few other awards. I was hoping this would lead to an E + C reunion since Edge's retirement was up, but instead it was Cena and Rock, which SHOULD have won, but...eh, would've rather had E and C than Cena cut a promo. Cena came out, buried Rock, and then told you to not give a shit about anything until WM. Oh, and he wants the Rock to come back and put BOOTS TO ASSES. He's coming back AGAINST HIM, so I guess he wants to get his ass kicked. Orton and Punk teamed against Miz and Alberto, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, COLE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT TWITTER. Also, King compared Christian's never-ending neck brace to Kaufman's, which I don't remember because I WASN'T BORN WHEN THAT ANGLE HAPPENED. Orton was in the ring, so he should've talked about his dad's always-broken arm. Cole then brought up J.R. posting the whole rap "he forgot" despite that supposedly coming out of nowhere and insulted J.R. some more. "Barrett surprised Orton from behind" to cost Punk the match, so at least Punk's retaining the title. Then Del Rio put the armbar on Punk with the ladder, which made him do the move all weirdly. I guess having a metal ladder resting on his arm was supposed to hurt it more. I would think it would provide some cooling relief. Oh, and Miz cut another INTENSE MIZ promo. Yawn.
WWE Network ad aired. I think Mean Gene is in the Legends House. Oh, and it'll be the most interactive network with a "second-screen experience, multi-platinum strategy, and mobile apps", so whatever those first two things mean, great. Apps could make them some money if they're used for actual video content and not just WWE SOCIAL INTERACTION! Snooki brought it via satellite for her A-Lister of the year award. I'm surprised the Muppets didn't win because they basically showed all of their good material throughout the show, and they'll be on the Tribute to the Troops show. They plugged the TLC Handbook in WWE Magazine, but they should have one for Twitter instead. Sheamus came out to face Jinder...or not, he just got kicked in the face after cutting a promo to zero heat. Rey returned to present the Superstar of the year, which just had plain graphics for everyone instead of wacky video packages. Ace came out to humbly accept the award for Punk, and then Henry walk backstage to get 2012'd. They shilled Tribute to the Troops and talked about a moment with a Sgt. General coming up and hugging Vince, and then they showed her kid and family. This was a nice gesture that WWE will be sure to remind everyone of many times, especially around election time. Cena faced Henry for 30 seconds before a commercial break. Perfect timing for the main event. Show came back and they exchanged moves. Henry did a bearhug that was hilarious because Cena used RVD-like OWWSSSS to really sell it. Then Kane came back in an outfit that honestly looks cheaper than Abyss's old demin jeans and vest combo and chokeslammed Cena. Made sense that he came back for Henry's match, Cena attack didn't make sense...didn't really dig this. This is by far the worst look the character has ever had, and I don't know what to make of the big oversized iron mask. The half-mask ain't so great either.
Screens -
Kane's return peaked around here...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ah shit, missed Raw but just saw the Kane thing. So glad they finally kinda fixed his music. Still ain't as good as his Type O Negative theme that they never used, but the ship as probably sailed as far as ever using that one.
That's definitely the best look since before he went to the half-mask and diding spinaroonis. Some of that hair has gotta be fake, he was essentially bald not that long ago. That actually sort of fits the character though (when he took the mask off initially the hair went with it) so not a big deal, as long as it doesn't wind up looking like Kane II's Brian May style.
That's definitely the best look since before he went to the half-mask and did
ing spinaroonis. Some of that hair has gotta be fake, he was essentially bald not that long ago. That actually sort of fits the character though (when he took the mask off initially the hair went with it) so not a big deal, as long as it doesn't wind up looking like Kane II's Brian May style.
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Purple Flames
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 21 (100%)
[quote name='KaneRobot']"OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW?...YOU (EDIT) BETTER CALL SOMEBODY!!"
...really?[/QUOTE]
Seriously? I missed the first hour so I didn't get to see that.
...really?[/QUOTE]
Seriously? I missed the first hour so I didn't get to see that.
007
CAGiversary!
Ahem. Can we take a moment to acknowledge that it's the tail-end of 2011 and the most exciting thing on the latest edition of Raw was Kane returning, followed closely by a Road Dogg appearance?
That's too absurd to not just take a moment to appreciate.
Anyway, while it's great that the mask is back, I can't get excited about a Kane vs. John Cena feud. Outside of the few months of WHC/Taker feud, Kane has bored me to tears for about a decade now, and a mask won't change that. Plus, any heat or momentum that the return of the mask gives him is apparently going to quickly get sucked into the black hole that is John Cena.
The other highlight of last night, of course, was the pretty strong indication that we may be headed for Undertaker/HHH 3 at WM28. Which is, seriously, about the last thing I want Taker to be doing at WM28.
That's too absurd to not just take a moment to appreciate.
Anyway, while it's great that the mask is back, I can't get excited about a Kane vs. John Cena feud. Outside of the few months of WHC/Taker feud, Kane has bored me to tears for about a decade now, and a mask won't change that. Plus, any heat or momentum that the return of the mask gives him is apparently going to quickly get sucked into the black hole that is John Cena.
The other highlight of last night, of course, was the pretty strong indication that we may be headed for Undertaker/HHH 3 at WM28. Which is, seriously, about the last thing I want Taker to be doing at WM28.
mykevermin
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 34 (97%)
Missed Raw on account of going to a show last night. Outside of the Dynamic Dudes video (which really only appeals to a very small portion of the crowd who remembers a do-nothing tag team from nearly two decades ago, as well as the backstage people), there doesn't appear to have been much I missed.
The comment about Kanes outfit = yarn was spot on. His outfit looks like it was handcrafted by the Kindergarten class of St. Aloysius Learning Center in Peoria, Ill. Additionally, pics suggest Kane spent his time off by campaigning for Ron Paul. By "campaigning for Ron Paul," I actually mean "challenging and besting Samoa Joe to eating contests."
Fat Kane? In a mask? I smell a swerve!
They can form a stable with Fat Kane, Fat Matt Hardy, and Fat Raven. "The Supper Club."
*****
On another note entirely, WWE keeps cockteasing us w/ Brodus Clay. Is witholding him a good thing (i.e., smart promoting)? It has people talking about him, what they expect, what he'll do, how he'll act, and so on. Remember how anticipation is one of the key aspects of good wrestling promoting. Are they simply showing off how flippant, indecisive, and last minute they are in their booking? Or could this (discussion and anticipation) be the key to helping get him over from the (re)start?
The comment about Kanes outfit = yarn was spot on. His outfit looks like it was handcrafted by the Kindergarten class of St. Aloysius Learning Center in Peoria, Ill. Additionally, pics suggest Kane spent his time off by campaigning for Ron Paul. By "campaigning for Ron Paul," I actually mean "challenging and besting Samoa Joe to eating contests."
Fat Kane? In a mask? I smell a swerve!
They can form a stable with Fat Kane, Fat Matt Hardy, and Fat Raven. "The Supper Club."
*****
On another note entirely, WWE keeps cockteasing us w/ Brodus Clay. Is witholding him a good thing (i.e., smart promoting)? It has people talking about him, what they expect, what he'll do, how he'll act, and so on. Remember how anticipation is one of the key aspects of good wrestling promoting. Are they simply showing off how flippant, indecisive, and last minute they are in their booking? Or could this (discussion and anticipation) be the key to helping get him over from the (re)start?
Last edited by a moderator:
pitfallharry219
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 56 (100%)
So I guess the match for the World Heavyweight title isn't considered a main event?
mitch079
CAGiversary!
[quote name='mykevermin']The comment about Kanes outfit = yarn was spot on. His outfit looks like it was handcrafted by the Kindergarten class of St. Aloysius Learning Center in Peoria, Ill. Additionally, pics suggest Kane spent his time off by campaigning for Ron Paul. By "campaigning for Ron Paul," I actually mean "challenging and besting Samoa Joe to eating contests."
Fat Kane? In a mask? I smell a swerve!
They can form a stable with Fat Kane, Fat Matt Hardy, and Fat Raven. "The Supper Club."
[/QUOTE]
I think you've been watching too much E! and TMZ.
Fat Kane? In a mask? I smell a swerve!
They can form a stable with Fat Kane, Fat Matt Hardy, and Fat Raven. "The Supper Club."
[/QUOTE]
I think you've been watching too much E! and TMZ.
007
CAGiversary!
[quote name='lombarvm']Spoilerific info on the likely main events for Mania.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, the lack of a listed WHC is weird, especially given that I've been more interested in what's going on with that than anything else. I'll spoiler my thoughts on the other stuff even though the one is glaringlying obvious:
A CM Punk/Jericho feud would fantastic.
Yeah, the lack of a listed WHC is weird, especially given that I've been more interested in what's going on with that than anything else. I'll spoiler my thoughts on the other stuff even though the one is glaringly
ing obvious:- Uggggggggh. God, does anyone really want to see HHH/Taker 3? Jesus, apparently if HHH can't beat Taker, he'll settle for making the Streak slightly more irrelevant. My issue is that HBK/Taker 2 happened organically because it was an amazing match. HHH/Taker 3 is only happening because they wrote the plans into the ending. Bullshit. Plus, with all of the semi-main event talent that Taker hasn't faced at Mania (Cena, Punk, Jericho), we give it to HHH again? Bleh.
Sidenote to that... if this is indeed Taker's last match, which I'd see them prolonging only because he deserves the final match of the card send-off that HBK got (which Cena/Rock basically kills)... I'd have pushed Kane's return back a little bit, had him return at the Rumble with the mask, demolish the competition, and win. Instead of picking a title match, he does what HBK wanted to do and demand a match with Taker. It'd bring the storyline full circle, give Taker another match with the only guy who really SHOULD get 3 matches at WM with him, and give Kane the nice send-off of winning the Rumble. Plus, it has the added benefit of freeing up creative to actually book title matches without the crutch of the Rumble.
- Jericho/Punk is... interesting. Since I don't see them giving a Smackdown guy OR a relative newcomer the Rumble again, I'd wager this may mean Jericho will finally get his Rumble win. A problem I see here, though, is... who gets to be the heel? Punk is way over, and Jericho, even as a heel, was coming dangerously close to getting more cheers the closer he got to leaving. I don't want a repeat of the Edge year. Anyway, this is a match that really, really annoys me that Cena/Rock is happening, as a Jericho/Punk match is actually worthy of being the final match on the card. If this happens, I expect it to be the match of the night.
- So, should we assume that the WHC is now forever destined to be curtain-jerking Mania? At least the lack of mention bodes well for someone like Danielson potentially squeaking into a match.
... one final thought? Up until I read Jericho/Punk, I really couldn't give less of a shit about this upcoming Mania. I'd order it just for that match, unless they completely the build.
Sidenote to that... if this is indeed Taker's last match, which I'd see them prolonging only because he deserves the final match of the card send-off that HBK got (which Cena/Rock basically kills)... I'd have pushed Kane's return back a little bit, had him return at the Rumble with the mask, demolish the competition, and win. Instead of picking a title match, he does what HBK wanted to do and demand a match with Taker. It'd bring the storyline full circle, give Taker another match with the only guy who really SHOULD get 3 matches at WM with him, and give Kane the nice send-off of winning the Rumble. Plus, it has the added benefit of freeing up creative to actually book title matches without the crutch of the Rumble.
- Jericho/Punk is... interesting. Since I don't see them giving a Smackdown guy OR a relative newcomer the Rumble again, I'd wager this may mean Jericho will finally get his Rumble win. A problem I see here, though, is... who gets to be the heel? Punk is way over, and Jericho, even as a heel, was coming dangerously close to getting more cheers the closer he got to leaving. I don't want a repeat of the Edge year. Anyway, this is a match that really, really annoys me that Cena/Rock is happening, as a Jericho/Punk match is actually worthy of being the final match on the card. If this happens, I expect it to be the match of the night.
- So, should we assume that the WHC is now forever destined to be curtain-jerking Mania? At least the lack of mention bodes well for someone like Danielson potentially squeaking into a match.
... one final thought? Up until I read Jericho/Punk, I really couldn't give less of a shit about this upcoming Mania. I'd order it just for that match, unless they completely
the build.
bread's done