The "I Do What I Want" OTT

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I CAN'T MASTURBATE- IT'S DISRESPECTFUL TO WIMMEN
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']I just bought some wood, gonna make shelves for my audio/video equipment. Though you're more than welcome to play with my wood if you want.[/QUOTE]

What quality wood is it? Is it smooth or grainy? Lighter or darker in color? Is it dry or moist?
 
[quote name='evilmregg']What quality wood is it? Is it smooth or grainy? Lighter or darker in color? Is it dry or moist?[/QUOTE]

Mustn't have knots, either.
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']I just bought some wood, gonna make shelves for my audio/video equipment. Though you're more than welcome to play with my wood if you want.[/QUOTE]
What about size? How long is it? Will it stay really hard for a long time? Will it talk to me on AIM!?
 
[quote name='Kayden']Your lust for 9 year old Natalie Portman has killed the OTT![/QUOTE]

She wasn't 9 ... we aren't that lucky. ;)

That time, it was a joke. :lol:

EDIT: I think she was 12.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']She wasn't 9 ... we aren't that lucky. ;)

That time, it was a joke. :lol:

EDIT: I think she was 12.[/QUOTE]
So it's a joke when you say you want to fuck a 9 year old, but you're serious when you say you want to fuck a 12 year old?
 
[quote name='Alucard']Vampires are better than humans you strumpets.[/QUOTE]

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Look at that cock holster. He was a vampire, and I kicked his ass. Three simple steps to killing a vampire:

1. Tell him he's a pussy. He'll stop to think about it, and realize he is. Oops.
2. Tell him his shoe is untied. If he's like Al, he's just that gullible/stupid.
3. Kick him in his face when he bends over, and proceed to clean house.

Quick, simple, and it's damn fun.
 
[quote name='dcfox']So it's a joke when you say you want to fuck a 9 year old, but you're serious when you say you want to fuck a 12 year old?[/QUOTE]

No, it's a joke that's I'd prefer her at 9. I don't even know if she was hot yet at that age. :lol:

Besides, she's older than me. So when the movie came out of course she was hot. And nothing ever changed. :lol:
 
[quote name='Alucard']Well sorry. I don't know how to get a picture from my scanner onto the internet.[/QUOTE]

Done, already, did ye not see?
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']
dead.jpg


Look at that cock holster. He was a vampire, and I kicked his ass. Three simple steps to killing a vampire:

1. Tell him he's a pussy. He'll stop to think about it, and realize he is. Oops.
2. Tell him his shoe is untied. If he's like Al, he's just that gullible/stupid.
3. Kick him in his face when he bends over, and proceed to clean house.

Quick, simple, and it's damn fun.[/QUOTE]

VanHelsing? Is that you?
 
[quote name='Kayden']What about size? How long is it? Will it stay really hard for a long time? Will it talk to me on AIM!?[/QUOTE]

And is it straight? Because if it bends to the left or right, it's no good to me. It wouldn't fit properly.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']No, it's a joke that's I'd prefer her at 9. I don't even know if she was hot yet at that age. :lol:

Besides, she's older than me. So when the movie came out of course she was hot. And nothing ever changed. :lol:[/QUOTE]

Man, I used to want to bang Natalie Portman so hard, but then in Garden State she had the sort of curly hair thing going on and looked a little too much like my sister, and since then she has been ruined for me.
 
[quote name='evilmregg']Man, I used to want to bang Natalie Portman so hard, but then in Garden State she had the sort of curly hair thing going on and looked a little too much like my sister, and since then she has been ruined for me.[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean. Garden State killed my hard-on for that broad.
 
[quote name='evilmregg']I refer you to my earlier comment to Alucard re: shitting out teeth.[/QUOTE]

:lol: worth a shot.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']My sister's available, but she lives in Jersey. Is that a problem? :lol:[/QUOTE]

Is she anywhere near as good looking as you?
 
[quote name='Kayden']Is she anywhere near as good looking as you?[/QUOTE]


That was in March.


Two weeks ago.


She cut her hair last week, but I haven't seen the pics yet.

Try to show some respect, I'm going to watch a DVD now.

EDIT: Bonus pic . Left to right: Her ex, her, one of my friends.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']
That was in March.


Two weeks ago.


She cut her hair last week, but I haven't seen the pics yet.

Try to show some respect, I'm going to watch a DVD now.

EDIT: Bonus pic . Left to right: Her ex, her, one of my friends.[/QUOTE]

I hate it when people tell me my sister is hot, so I'm not going to tell you how hot your sister is. And I certainly won't be mentioning erections.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']
That was in March.


Two weeks ago.


She cut her hair last week, but I haven't seen the pics yet.

Try to show some respect, I'm going to watch a DVD now.

EDIT: Bonus pic . Left to right: Her ex, her, one of my friends.[/QUOTE]

Dude.... can I have sex with the both of you... like at the same time?:lol:
 
[quote name='crickett003']Why not??

Knots are nature's French Tickler.[/QUOTE]

Also nature's way for a genital infection.

This should be renamed "The Alucard OTT"
 
[quote name='evilmregg']I hate it when people tell me my sister is hot, so I'm not going to tell you how hot your sister is. And I certainly won't be mentioning erections.[/QUOTE]
OMG Dude your sister is so HOT!
 
[quote name='Kayden']I'm really looking for some wood... but I don't know how to get it. I heard you can go outside to a place called a 'store' and purchase it... but all that walking and carrying sounds like a lot of work. I'd also hate to be exposed to all the sunlight. Are there any carpenters on CAG that want to talk to me on AIM? ... Lumberjacks? ... is there anyone that just plays with their own wood a lot and would like to talk to me?[/QUOTE]

Man, you need to stop being so nice to wood. Every time you get wood your like: "oh wood, your my moon goddess, want some of my cheetos? Wanna use my WoW character? I named her for you." and the wood goes: "k, can i see yer wallet?" then steals all your money, runs to vegas and blows it all on cocaine.

You just need to change yer outlook on wood. Like, say someone uploads some wood to you on aim, you don't coddle the wood and listen to it's problems, you gotta slap that wood, show it who's boss. Try getting the wood drunk so it's nice and loose for carving. Try getting yourself drunk so you are ready for wood! Wood is not a thing to be toyed with, it is a thing to shellac, lacquer and smooth out into a wonderful piece of art. And remember, sometimes wood rots, actually, wood rots a lot-- so keep this in mind when dealing with all wood-- hang on tightly, let go lightly.
 
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