[quote name='mykevermin']There's a goddamned grammar error in her ad.
"special interests groups."
another braindead conservative. she'll die in the primaries when whoever the "family values" candidate is creates a negative campaign ad of WWE footage.[/QUOTE]
I could care less which party she is affiliated with, but I think as long as she doesn't make family values the platform she stands on, she'll be able to dodge the WWE footage thing somewhat just because I don't recall her herself being in much risque material compared to the rest of her family and everyone knows Vince is the final word on all they air. I would hope most people would know entertainment isn't reality. Although, a picture of Regal literally kissing Vince's ass in a negative campaign will be HIGHLY amusing. :lol:
Either way, can't really call her brain dead yet for her political ideas. As far as I know, she hasn't said much of anything yet. I like to hear different points of view whether I agree with them or not.
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I could care less which party she is affiliated with, but I think as long as she doesn't make family values the platform she stands on, she'll be able to dodge the WWE footage thing somewhat just because I don't recall her herself being in much risque material compared to the rest of her family and everyone knows Vince is the final word on all they air. I would hope most people would know entertainment isn't reality. Although, a picture of Regal literally kissing Vince's ass in a negative campaign will be HIGHLY amusing. :lol:
Either way, can't really call her brain dead yet for her political ideas. As far as I know, she hasn't said much of anything yet. I like to hear different points of view whether I agree with them or not.[/QUOTE]
After watching Vince make Trish out to be a dog, Linda McMahon doesn't have a family values platform to stand on. And I don't think she'll try either.
[quote name='mykevermin']There's a goddamned grammar error in her ad.
"special interests groups."[/QUOTE]
While it's an uncommon, unusual, and possibly improper way to call those groups, it's technically not a grammatical error. That is stating that there are many groups that lobby for more than one interest each. There's nothing grammatically wrong with that.
Batista
Beth Phoenix
Big Show
Carlito
Chavo Guerrero
Chris Jericho
Christian
CM Punk
Cody Rhodes
Dolph Ziggler
Edge
Evan Bourne
Eve Torres
Ezekiel Jackson
Festus
Finlay
Gail Kim
Goldust
Great Khali
Jack Swagger
Jeff Hardy
Jesse
John "Bradshaw" Layfield
John Cena
John Morrison
JTG
Kane
Kelly Kelly
Kofi Kingston
Maria
Mark Henry
Maryse
Matt Hardy
Melina
Michelle McCool
Mickie James
Mike Knox
Montel Vontavious Porter
Mr. Kennedy
Natalya
Nikki Bella
Primo
Randy Orton
Rey Mysterio
R-Truth
Santino Marella
Shad Gaspard
Shawn Michaels
Shelton Benjamin
Ted DiBiase
The Brian Kendrick
The Miz
Tommy Dreamer
Triple H
Umaga
not interesting at all. anyone care to single out who the new faces are?
Maryse
Jack Swagger
Eve Torres
Christian
Bella Twins
Primo
R Truth
Ezekiel Jackson
Dolph Ziggler
Goldust
Gail Kim
Mike Knox (may have been in 08-09, can't remember)
I also can't remember the last time Goldust was in a Smackdown game offhand.
4.99 DLC a few weeks after release, like Ted Jr. and Evan Bourne were most likely. It'll probably be the Hart Dynasty. I'd also like to see Zack Ryder, Sheamus, and Regal (who I think will be in it anyway).
Hoping that they have a few more wrestlers that are in there but you have to unlock by going through Road to Wrestlemania. Like last year when they had Jillian, Snitsky, etc. Maybe Hart Dynasty and Ryder.
Outside of the lack of the Hart Dynasty, I'm pretty okay with that roster. With story mode, I should easily be able to cull together an entire show roster of people I don't hate, which is good (and something that hasn't happened for a while).
I realize the answer is probably 'no', but... any word on legends? With no formal announcement of a LoW2 (I think), and the fact that Austin is a 'Gamestop exclusive' (ha), I'm not sure if that makes it more or less likely to have some in SvR2010.
Man, WWE is really cracking down on the JTV streams lately. There are NO streams of anything WWE owns right now. I think that might be the first time that's happened since I've been watching that site for a year or two.
[quote name='pitfallharry219']Man, WWE is really cracking down on the JTV streams lately. There are NO streams of anything WWE owns right now. I think that might be the first time that's happened since I've been watching that site for a year or two.[/QUOTE]
Well, with Hulu giving a legal, free avenue for a good deal of WWE content it isn't surprising. I wouldn't be surprised if their deal with Hulu requires WWE to be more proactive in shutting illegal streams down.
[quote name='pitfallharry219']Man, WWE is really cracking down on the JTV streams lately. There are NO streams of anything WWE owns right now. I think that might be the first time that's happened since I've been watching that site for a year or two.[/QUOTE]
Wow, I've never seen that happen since I've known about JTV either. There is still ustream and tons of other sites out there though.
[quote name='GuilewasNK']Well, with Hulu giving a legal, free avenue for a good deal of WWE content it isn't surprising. I wouldn't be surprised if their deal with Hulu requires WWE to be more proactive in shutting illegal streams down.[/QUOTE]
When did Hulu get a deal with Hulu. I must have missed that news item
Better show than last week, but not as great as the one two weeks ago. The opening knockouts tag match was fine, but nothing special, or memorable outside of it being Love's last appearance and featuring the return of Rayne in TBP. The Pope's promo ruled, and after weeks of build, the promo, and a video package...they blew off the Suicide vs. Pope feud in a 3 minute match. Well, at least the Pope dominated and looked awesome in it. EY's promo about Homicide not turning on Hernandez, but Hernandez forcing Homicide to turn on Hernandez was confusing due to the wording even if you got the message...and then he said that he would face Hernandez on Sunday, but wouldn't fight his brother, Hernandez. Weird. Then Hernandez killed Bashir and Kiyoshi in no time - hell of a faction here. The post-match deal with them crushing his throat with the case and hitting it with a chair was good and at least made it plausible that EY could beat Supermex. However, his character still comes off like Bud Bundy when he was trying to be cool and adopted a million personas. Only this act isn't anywhere near as funny as Grandmaster B.
Rhino's promo where HE YELLED A LOT FOR MINUTES ON END really bugged me. This HAS to be building up Dixie managing Lashley at at least the the PPV given how many times he mentioned her by name in this thing. Great. Then Devon came out and cut a way better promo, although this thing was also weird because they repeatedly said that their goal was to build TNA up to be the best company in the world. If you're not in the best company in the world, then what are you? Second-rate. Hell of a job putting the company over.
ODB's promo about Deaner being a disgrace to the knockouts division, then calling it the "knocked up" division was pretty damn counterproductive, and then built up a bad comedy match with Deaner against Flash where he got beat in a minute. Hell of a title match buildup here. Especially since ODB is LISTED AS THE CHAMPION ON THE TNA SITE.
The Nash-Foley stuff was okay. Foley's promo was good, Nash as a slimey dude was awesome. This all led to a 5-minute match where Foley bled, got all pissed at Abyss for costing him a shot at this worthless belt, and now Abyss is even more emotionally disturbed. Taz's line about that ruled, otherwise, this segment didn't do much for me.
Ray's promo about the man advantage match actually kind of made me care about the Lethal Lockdown match on Sunday until I remembered that nothing was on the line in this match with two sets of tag champions in int. Tenay noting during this that the feud is the reason why Impact became known for featuring a lot of show-closing brawls amused me, especially since the show ended with, yes, a show-closing brawl. Tenay also amused me by saying that Roode was "knocked out" by a belt shot...to the stomach. Brutus and Steiner worked way better together than Steiner and Booker, who for whatever reason, is still employed.
The TNA/Boys and Girls Club video could not have been more like a WWE fluff piece, but hey, at least TNA has a reason to have one - and the idea of a media career learning center for kids is really cool. This came off as classier than WWE's usual long video highlighting the great work they do and are more than willing to devote airtime to.
Lashley's one line about kicking Rhino's ass at the PPV was by far the best promo he's cut in TNA. I love that TNA spent more time on the show, complete with a graphic, to hype it up than the segment actually took. Sarita and Taylor vs. Kong and Saed was good, but short. King's swinging sleeper ruled, Sarita had some cool spots in there with Saed, and Kong's mega-rage over Saed losing was great.
The AJ and Sting promo was the usual fare between then - AJ's got a man crush on Sting, respects him, he brought him back from ROCK BOTTOM!, blah blah blah. Then Angle did commentary and sounded very old, tired, and in need of a break. Morgan and Joe had pretty good chemistry while they were in there, but of course the match only lasted five minutes before the finish that really built on the whole Angle vs. Morgan dynamic, almost to a fault, because both AJ and Sting seem secondary in this story. Then they cut to commercial with five minutes left, alerted people to not turn the channel, I didn't, and still didn't care about the brawl all that much when it came back for one whole minute.
Despite a few million complaints, at least the show built up this weekend's PPV, as opposed to the usual trend of building up the one after it well. And Taz ruled throughout the night.
Screens -
Pope Towel=awesome
Quotes for the Love in a Hellevator edition of Impact -
Tenay - Earlier today, MICK FOLEY ARRIVED WITH HIS SONS!
Shelle y- WELCOME TO MTV ! MACHINEGUN TELEVISION! Thanks to Taz!
Tenay - YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS!? THEM TAKING THE OPENING ON-CAMERA!?
Taz - Yeah.
Tenay - FTW!?/ MORE LIKE WTF!
Taz - I like that - you gotta future in dis bisnez, kid.
Taz - Hamada and Sojo might have been a good team on paper, but they had no chemistry in the ring.
(during TBP’s entrance)Taz - Sometimes it pays to be the bottom rope. Or the middle rope. IT’S JUST A ROPE!
Taz - Tara better be careful she doesn’t get a whole bunch of peroxide on her hands.
Tenay - CHECK OUT THE MAFIA’S CHOSEN KNOCKOUT, TRACI’S LAYOUT ON PLAYBOY.COM!
Taz - Christy Hemme’s a former centerfold. I’m sure you know that since you’ve been follow…stalking her.
Tenay - Stalking? You have me confused with the guy who used to be in your seat.
Taz - You are correct, sir.
Taz - Velvet said YOU WANT SOMMA CHRISTYYYY”.
Tenay - Kinda shrill on the end of it.
Taz Annoying. But she’s hot.
(during the booty shake-sault)Tenay - Poison looks on approvingly!
Velvet - YOU WANNA SPRAY ME!? WE GOT RID OF YOUR ASS!
Tenay - DIDJA HEAR THAT!? SHE SAID WE GOT RID OF YOUR… YOU KNOW WHAT!
Tenay - She’s got a bag that says “I’m sorry”.
Taz - I think that’s their way of apologizing.
Dinero - First off young lady, call me your pope. Yes, it is true - Pope has extended the opportunity to enlighten someone who has created his own imaginable man. A place that is void and filled with darkness. I understand that everybody is dealing with darkness - everyone comes face to face with rough times. You mention one Suicadee - he has created his own personal Hell. He in the belly of a rat, and what’s gonna happen is Pope’s gonna reach down and resurrect…ONLY TO PIMP SLAP HIM BACK TO HELL! So tonight, Suicadee is gonna pay the ultimate priizzeee. Tonight, Suicadee is gonna account for his transgressions, and yes, we know that Pope is pimpin. Pope has spoken and a little bit later young lady, Pope’s gonna lay his hands on you.
Taz - There’s Suicide - not to be confused with Suicadee.
Shelley - There’s this movie where Suicide hangs upside down and he kisses a girl.
Sabin - I think you’re overestimating the fact that he likes girls. I don’t think he does much other than baking judging by those gloves.
Shelley - Pimp slap, very un-pope like.
Sabin - But very pimp-like.
Shelley - Pope’s not the guy to trade slaps with - but he is the guy to trade seasons with. He’s got over 1,000 DVDs.
Shelley - What kind of Pope buys Twilight? And he said it was awful. But I guess there is no better way to get to a woman’s heart than with bad cinema.
Tenay - I’m more of a True Blood guy.
Taz - I don’t even know what Twilight is - I guess I’m not on top of the hip stuff.
Taz - Tonight, we are gonna get COMMENTS from Lashley regarding his match with Rhino at No Surrender.
Tenay - AN ANGRY RHINO IS NEXT!
EY - We didn’t turn Homicide on Hernandez - Hernandez turned Homicide on Hernandez! Greed took over! Jealousy took over! Homicide did what any normal person would do - he stood up for himself. YOU FORCED OUR HAND! At No Surrender, we’ll wrestle! We’re brothers - and I’ll never fight my own brother. But I’ll see you there, brother.
Cide - Hey Hernandez, remember me? TO LIVE AND DIE IN LAX!? I live - you die. You’re not my familia - DIS RIGHT HERE - WE’RE FAMILIA! You wanna be a singles star? You left da gang, and what happens when you leave a gang? YOU GET DESTROYED! TO LIVE AND DIE…WORLD ELITE!
Ad Guy - Rhino is an unstoppable tank! HE WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO DESTROY FOES WITH A SAVAGE DOSE OF REALITY! BOBBY LASHLEY HAS NEVER FACED ANYONE LIKE THIS BEFORE!
Tenay - LET’S HOPE THAT RHINO HAS AN EXPLANATION FOR HIS RECENT ACTION!
Rhino - SHUT THE HELL UP! I’M NOT ONE TO LOOK FOR THE SPOTLIGHT OR PLAY POLITICS! BY NOT PLAYING POLITICS, PEOPLE MOVE AHEAD OF YOU! I NEVER WORRY ABOUT POLITICS - FOR YEARS, I’VE WATCHED PEOPLE MOVE AHEAD OF ME! SO WHAT’S TNA DECIDE TO DO? LET’S GIVE RHINO A LITTLE PUSH AND EXPLOIT HIS PERSONAL DEMONS, AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS YEAH I LIKE TO HAVE A COUPLE DRINKS AND BLACK OUT ONCE IN A WHILE! SO EVERYONE MOVES AHEAD AND WHAT DO YOU GIVE ME TNA!? JESSE NEAL! I HEARD YOUR STORY, I LIKED YOUR STORY, I LIKED YOUR HEART AND I SAID I’D TRAIN YOU. TNA GOT AHOLD OF THAT AND I TRAINED YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO!? YOU HUMILIATED ME! SO WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO!? I HAD TO KICK YOUR ASS! THAT BRINGS ME TO THE SAVIOR, THE GREAT ONE, BOBBY LASHLEY! (fans chant Bobby) BOBBY LASHLEY, I KNOW YOU’RE UNDEFEATED IN MMA - BUT HIS ISN’T MMA. IT’S TNA. I’LL TAKE A CHAIR AND SMASH YOUR HEAD AND WATCH YOU BLEED. I’M WATCHING TV A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I SEE OUR CEO DIXIE CARTER TALKING TO BOBBY. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CALLED ME, DIXIE!? AT THE END OF YOUR LITTLE INTERVIEW, DIXIE, YOU SAID I’D LIKE TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT - LASHLEY, YOUR OPPONENT’S GONNA BE RHINO. HEY SWEETHEART, YEAH YOU DIXIE, MY NAME IS THE WAR MACHINE RHINO. SO GET THAT STRAIGHT, TOOTS! (Devon comes out)
Tenay - DEVON COULD BE A CALMING INFLUENCE ON RHINO.
Taz - I don’t know that - he seems disgruntled with TNA management. I don’t know why he’s wearing a TNA shirt though.
Devon - THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MAN WHO’S CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH! (fans chant Whino) NOW YA KNOW SOMETHING, I HAD TO CALM MY BROTHER BUBBA DOWN AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO JESSE NEAL SO I TOLD HIM TO RELAX AND TRY TO TALK SOME SENSE INTO THE WAR MACHINE. Understand one thing, Jesse Neal has nothing to do with politics, he came to you, or as it should be, you came to him, because you liked his story. Then you beat him down. I remember a young kid coming into ECW, you come into that company, my brother and I took you under our wing - we did the same thing for you that you did for Jesse, but we didn’t kick your ass. We told you your mistakes, and you corrected your mistakes. We believed in you and most of all, the great people in the crowd believed in you! What I’m suggesting that we do is talk about some old times, put this behind us and call it a day because when it’s all said and done we have a history. We have something that can help this company, TNA, become the greatest company in the history of this business! (fans chant TNA) I’ll tell you what - let’s put it behind us and have a good time.
Rhino - One more thing - you said we’re gonna put TNA on top - make it the best in the world. You’re right…and it starts by me whipping your ass!
Taz - I remember the history in the old ECW days between Rhino and 3D! THIS IS UNCONTROLLABLE!
Taz - Homicide turned on his non-blood brother!
Taz - Hernandez just hiptossed two guys - amazing!
(as he foams at the mouth)Tenay - I’M WORRIED ABOUT HERNANDEZ! IS HE OKAY!?
ODB - WE’RE THE BEST BUNCH OF BROADS AROUND! CODY, I’LL NEVER LET YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF US! SUNDAY, THE KNOCKED UP TITLE IS COMING HOME! BAM!
Taz - Imagine their loving relationship - drinking a Colt 45 and watching college football on Cody’s tailgate.
Tenay - SOUNDS LIKE MY WEEKEND!
Shelley - Flash looking like the bride of Frankenstein.
Sabin - Are we gonna see some man on woman violence!?
Shelley - Double suplex on the ramp…This is insane. I believe this is a lumberjack match. This isn’t even a lumberjack match. This makes me uncomfortable.
(after ODB hits Deaner with her flask)Taz - Cody and ODB shared many a romantic dinner at the ole Waffle House…that’s over now!
Lauren - The internet is BUZZING! Women and even a few men have tried to become part of the Big Sexy World Tour with pictures and even Teddy bears! Is this a good night for a casting couch?
(hot girl walks in)Nash - Perfect night for it.
Lauren - I don’t even think he’s listening to me. This is crazy. Those are great pictures though.
Nash - Sweetheart, I took the liberty of getting you a glass of wine.
Lauren - That’s good wine.
Nash - I know the glass slipper fits on your foot. Why don’t you…come on…
(fat chick comes in)Nash - SIT DOWN HERE SWEETHEART! (she sits, her tit falls out)
Foley - Let Nash worry about his plus-size models - TONIGHT, I REGAIN THE TNA LEGENDS TITLE! WE MAY SEE THE REEMERGENCE OF A FRIEND THAT SAID… HAVE A NICE DAY!
Tenay - Nash is all about the money. Foley is all about the love of the game!
Taz - Hey, nothing wrong with being about the money. I’m in the business to make money.
Tenay - Well, it is called professional wrestling.
Taz - Yeah, but don’t bet on wrestling.
Tenay - Gambling?! I wash my hands of it.
Taz - Yeah? You’ve only worked in a casino for 15 years!
Ray - This is an extremely important match! For the past year, 3D and Beer Money have been setting the standard for modern tag team wrestling. We kicked the crap out of them, they kicked the crap out of us - we have a mutual respect. Tonight is gonna mean EVERYTHING! Whoever wins gets the advantage in the cage - and we want that advantage. Booker and Steiner - we want them bad. Tonight, I got your back and you got my back. Let’s do our best to work as a well-oiled machine. What you gotta say about that?
Roode - What do I gotta say about it? TESTIFY!
Abyss - LAUREN, I HAD TO FIND YOU CUZ YOU’E THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND! I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP MICK! WHO KNOWS WHAT KEVIN WOULDA DONE IF I WASN’T THERE…
Lauren - GIVE HIM TIME.
Abyss - THINK HE’S MAD AT ME!? OH GOD! OH GOD!
Taz - As if he didn’t have enough issues. Now he’s paranoid.
Tenay - At one point on Impact, there was a brawl or riot every week!
Tenay - WHAT A CHOP FROM RAY!
Taz - Yeah, those hurt…and he likes me!
Tenay - Look at the welts on Magnus’ chest!
Taz - Well, a lot of Brits are pasty.
Tenay - I don’t think Earl’s gonna intimidate Steiner.
Taz - You’ve never been in a bar with him - he can intimidate many. Trust me!
Taz - I’ll give you some history - nutty professor. People think I invented the T-bone, but Steiner was one of the first guys I saw do it. I just modified it a bit.
(after a shot to the stomach with a title belt)Tenay - HE JUST KNOCKED HIM OUT WITH THE BELT!
Camera Guy - Bobby…
Lashley - Want a comment for Sunday? I’m gonna knock his ass out.
Taz - That was…succinct.
Taz - A few weeks ago Saed picked up the win for her team. I don’t think Kong was too happy about it for some reason.
(during the Sarita/Wilde butt butt)Taz - This is a female version of you and me - our entrance.
Sabin - What can you do against Kong? She’s a big armored woman.
Taz - Shelley, you look amazing in those shades.
Tenay - Wearing them with pride…
Taz - Today, Kong walked by and I looked at her foot.
Tenay - That’s your own personal deal…
Taz - She’s got big feet. That’s my point. Know what they say about girls with big feet?
Tenay - No, I don’t actually.
Taz - DEY DON’T SAY NOTHIN ABOUT DEM. HEHE!
Angle - Being the TNA Champion is one thing, being the best in the world is another.
(on Sting)AJ - I have more…respect…for this man than he’ll ever know!
Angle - I’m getting used to being behind the commentators’ table.
Taz - Well, somebody’s gotta carry Mike!
Angle - I think I have a new job as a commentator here!
Angle - Matt Morgan is a real jerk.
Taz - Kurt, obviously credibility isn’t a question when it comes to you.
(during Morgan’s offense, but not during the shakey-cam PPV graphics)Angle - This is making me nauseous!
(as Morgan is back dropped)Angle - It just goes to probe you that he’s not...
As seen on RAW this past Monday, Lilian Garcia made a noticeable error by announcing a Triple Threat Match for the Number One Contendership to the WWE Divas Championship. However, there were only two Divas in the match — Alicia Fox and Gail Kim. In an update, two explanations have been given from people inside regarding the matter.
The first is that the match was originally written down as a three-way bout earlier that day, but plans were changed at the last minute and she was simply never told. The other is that it was indeed planned as a singles match but was deliberately told it was a three-way match so that she'd look stupid (considering she is on her way out of the company). Unlike a few of her noticeable miscues in recent months, we can confirm that she was fed the bad line on purpose as she did not make it up out of the blue.
As many wrestling fans know, has a history of embarrassing talent who decided to leave the company on their own accord during their final few days. Furthermore, if the latter scenario is true, this would not be the first time in which Garcia was the butt of a joke for the guys to laugh at. Her final show with WWE is expected to take place next Monday night in Little Rock and the rumored plan of her hosting RAW on her final night appears to be off the cards considering WWE already has a guest booked in Cedric the Entertainment. Hence, it should be really interesting to see how WWE handles her departure from television as more often than not, it's not a graceful one (as Vickie Guerrero, Amy "Lita" Dumas and several others can attest to).
[quote name='KaneRobot']She s up plenty on her own, who cares if someone ribs her on her way out. I still want to know how she's held that job for so long.
Good riddance.[/QUOTE]
She doesn't mess up as much as JR and he is supposedly a legend. :lol:
I really don't care if she, Howard Finkel, or Poo-Poo Magoo announces. It really is a minor part of the show.
I will miss those knee high boot she wore from time to time though.
[quote name='GuilewasNK']She doesn't mess up as much as JR and he is supposedly a legend. :lol:
I really don't care if she, Howard Finkel, or Poo-Poo Magoo announces. It really is a minor part of the show.
I will miss those knee high boot she wore from time to time though. [/QUOTE]
Agreed. Lillian isn't nearly as bad as some people like to make her out to be. I do disagree about ring announcers not being an integral part of the show though. Imagine an entire show where the wrestlers just walked to the ring with no introduction. They're especially helpful for those in the arena who aren't hearing commentary. However, I completely agree about the knee-high boots.
Seems Trish is getting her own yoga game on the Wii.
Also about SvR2010, it seems they've fixed the problem with the ring announcing. It doesn't pause anymore between mentioning their weight, town and name. There's two videos on IGN that show this.
Funny/amusing bits from the newest archived Figure 4 Weekly newsletter -
WWE.com did an interview with Hugh Morris last week. Two interesting things of note. The first is that he’s working as a trainer for this season of Tough Enough alongside Al Snow and Ivory, and from this point forward he’ll be going under this real name, Bill DeMott. Yes, it’s true, his real name is “Bill DeMott”, so he was lying during that promo in WCW when he claimed his real name was actually “Hugh G. Rection”. God, WCW was so horrible there at the end.
Bruce came out. Fans chanted “YOU SUCK DICK” and “HE’S A HOMO!” Bruce thanked them for that. He called April Hunter into the ring for a match with him. She was better than Jackie Gayda, although that’s not saying much. Bruce won with a powerbomb. A much better match than you’d have expected. Bruce inexplicably tried to take her top off
Jerry Lynn beat AJ Styles and Lo-Ki to win the X-Title in a three-way ladder match. Nobody had the balls to walk under the ladder that was set up in the aisle. Pussies. Actually, the last guy I remember who walked under a ladder was Scott Hall, and look what happened to his life.
Nigel McGuinness beat Chris Harvard. Oh shit, this could be epic. Nigel, when he’s not being horrible, does some pretty cool British spots a la William Regal. He also has what has to rank as the most hilarious comeback in all of wrestling. He pinned Chris with a superkick to the back of the head, which looked far less cool than it sounds reading it here. This was not the highlight of either man’s career.
Reverend D-Von beat John Cena clean. Oh. My. God. Well, John Cena’s career is over. Who in the hell booked that? Batista hit the ring afterwards and squashed D-Von, meaning the guy that beat John Cena was made to look like a total loser. Remember two weeks ago when this was the greatest show in the whole wide world?.
Hardcore Holly met with Steph backstage to remind viewers that he was still on the company payroll. He said he deserved a shot in the tournament despite having done absolutely nothing of value since his last match with Kurt Angle.
Hunter and Bubba Ray Dudley had a confrontation backstage. Bubba said he was hungry, hungry to be the best wrestler in WWE. Also, I suspect, hungry for food.
Harvard said that after the match, he was going to bust through Molly’s hymen. Well, that was subtle. Lawler asked Ross was a hymen was. “You of all people don’t know what a hymen is?” asked Ross in the line of the night. Ross was on a roll this evening. Harvard hit a terrible low dropkick, and Ross mocked him, saying a dropkick to the navel was really dangerous.
Laurer excited for matches with Hakushi, K.G. Muto
TOKYO – When Joanie Laurer heard she’d be wrestling on the next New Japan Pro Wrestling tour, she was overjoyed. According to an article on her official website, the beefy beauty, formerly Chyna in the World Wrestling Federation, has been a fan of Japanese grappling her whole life. “I’m so excited!” wrote the 5-9, 150-pound Laurer, who now competes under her real name. “I can’t wait to step into the ring with guys like Hakushi and K.G. Muto. I grew up watching them, so this is a dream come true!” Laurer said she was excited to try to keep up with the high-flying style of other popular stars like Masahori Chono and Yoji Nagada. “I’m gonna show everyone that a woman can compete just as well as the men,” she continued. “When I step into the ring with Minaru Tatanka and Manabanu Nakashini on September 8th, they’ll know I mean business!” Laurer’s tour begins next week.
SD Thoughts -
As expected, SD provided some great stuff tonight. I loved TLo getting the Goldberg intro camera shot surrounded by security guards...then holding their hands out of fear. That ruled. Batista being all wacky and running around, slapping hands with fans and yelling YEEEEEAAAAHHHH into the camera with all his verbal might. Jericho's promo was good - nothing groundbreaking, just a fine little TV main event-building one. I liked him getting owned on the spinebuster, then going to the back to complain to Big Show, but doing so while talking about his accomplishments, including beating Batista for the world title the last time they met in the ring.
Morrison vs. Knox was a great little blend of styles, with Morrison not being able to work in all his high flying against this large moose-like man, but working it in whenever he could and then just getting mauled by stuff like the pump kick to the neck, which looked sick. The starship pain here was great and looked like it crushed Knox, and then Ziggler was good on commentary stating that he was so good, he wouldn't find himself in the position to be hit by it.
The Scott Armstrong interview was perfectly fine. I wish Bullet Bob had been delivering it, or BG, but he did a good job and came off exactly like he should have - a veteran who needed to do something he didn't want to do to protect his job.
Melina vs. Michelle was fine. I like that Michelle has the cross on the back of her massive black knee brace - nice touch there. And she played the part of a cowardly heel just well enough to actually make the match enjoyable. This was one of the few matches she's been in that I actually wanted to see to its conclusion. And then Melina got all screamy and I re-thought that. The finish was good, except for the absurdity of Michelle just holding Melina up for a few seconds so she could scream - why not just fall down and drop her on her face or something? Oh well, aside from that, it was good.
The Vince and Teddy deal was awesome, with Vince denying any responsibility for Teddy's desperate act, and then just sending him out to the firing squad. He tried to play the "I'VE GOT A WIFE AND KIDS" card, and then just copped to doing it because he's old and can't learn anything new. That was a pretty sad line right there, but he did a great job with it. He came off like Jack Lemmon's character in Glengarry, Glen Ross here before, you know, being kidnapped in a smoky, lightning-filled limbo by an MMA fighter/zombie. Which ruled.
Punk's promo was so great - his delivery is perfect, his material is spot-on, and he's actually completely justified with what he says because he is always right. Ross busting out the second city saint line ruled, too. Cryme Tyme vs. Hart Dynasty was okay - it went longer than I thought it wuold, but neither team really did much for me here. J.R. knocking "Keanau West" was amazing. So amazing. He's amazing.
Kane destroying Khali's knee was just hilarious. The steel step trap he came up with looked awful, then he didn't come close to the knee, and then Khali sold his head from the chairshot more than he did his knee, which is what's gonna keep him out for a while. At least Runjin was great here being all offended by what happened. The McIntyre deal ruled here just like it always done. I've said since he came back that he's got a great presence, and he showed it here. He had a swagger to him, dressed sharply, had his hair done up nicely...and then spiked Charlie on his head after a phony congratulations. He's a prick who believes his own hype and backs it up at the easiest time possible. Good stuff and it's a good basic character for him that should, in its current form, easily take him to the IC Title if he catches on at all with the crowd.
The main event was shorter than usual, likely due to Batista just coming back, but fine while it lasted. Jericho busting out some new thigh attacks was good, and I loved the Codebreaker>Batista bomb ending. One thing that makes me sad about all of these Move X>Codebreaker or in this case, Move X>Batista Bomb finishes is that I doubt they'll be in the SvR games anytime soon.
Screens -
Quotes -
(as Batsita comes out and slaps hands with the fans)Grisham - WHAT A REACTION FROM THE WWE UNIVERSE!
J.R. - I think Batista’s always felt more comfortable here on Friday Night Smackdown!
J.R. - Smackdown just got a lot better.
Batista - Well… as you know recently, my contract expired with Raw…and for the first time in my career, I got to choose where I wanted to be! No drafts, no trades, MY CHOICE! And I chose to be right here, ON SMACKDOWN! THE BLUE TEAM! THE A SHOW. THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT! I CAN’T WAIT TO GET STARTED! (Jericho comes out)
Jericho - How…heartwarming. You’re back on SD - allow me to welcome you back on the show. Congratulations. Yeah…babies are smiling, birds are chirp, and the sky is clear because Batista’s back! You like the fact that he’s back, huh? I think that you make me sick! You’re just like that other injury-prone loser, Edge! Pandering to these pathetic parasites! Begging for cheers from all of these hypocrites. Hoping for some kind of an award because you got injured and came back. Lemme get something else through your thick skull. No matter what you may think, I am the true face of SD and everybody knows it! You see, a lot has changed since you’ve been gone - because you’ve been gone a LONG time! Like I said…I AM NOW THE MAN ON THIS SHOW!
Batista - What I was told is that to be the man, you gotta beat the man! And I know a lot has changed - and we’re gonna have a chance to catch up. Because tonight…you’ve got a match…. AGAINST ME!
Jericho - WHERE YOU WERE!?
Show - What!? I WAS WHERE YOU TOLD ME TO BE! YOU SAID YOU COULD DO THIS BY YOURSELF…
Jericho - You’re right - I can do this on my own… THE LAST TIME I FACED BATISTA, I BEAT HIM FOR THE WORLD TITLE! I’LL SHOW YOU WHY I’M THE BEST IN THE WORLD TONIGHT!
Show - Okay…
Sign - Morrison’s Abmazing.
Knox - Restless leg syndrome affects 25 million - it’s a neurological disorder that can only be relieved by the rapid movement of the lower extremities. Morrison - they haven’t found a cure yet!
J.R. - We just heard from a somewhat disturbed kinesiologist.
(on Morrison)Ziggler - He’s an 8 on a scale of 1 to Ziggler.
Grisham - No one’s kicked out of Starship Pain.
Ziggler - I don’t have to worry about being underneath it. Luckily, I’m good. And humble.
Morrison - I know you’re trying to make a name for yourself, but the only one the WWE Universe will be calling you Is… MR. ZIGGLES! (crowd chants MR. ZIGGLES)
Josh - Why did you do what you did on Sunday?
Scott - I’ve asked myself that question since Sunday. In the life, if you don’t run the business, you answer to someone who is higher up. I’ve been around the business 30 years - I’ve got a wife and kids. They’re the reason for my season. It made me sick to my stomach. Made me sick when I was in the ring…it’s something I’m not proud of. But I make no excuses - I did what I had to do to keep my job.
(as a clip airs of Melina being hit with a crutch)J.R. - Last week, Michelle used the…cane on Melina.
Grisham - Who could forget the CRUTCH SHOT last week!?
J.R. - IT’S A MIRACLE! Michelle’s not favoring the knee like she was before the match.
Grisham - What a move!
J.R. - It’s called a dragon sleeper - it’s a submission maneuver, Todd. I’ll show it to you later.
Melina - YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!
J.R. - Good lord!
Grisham - I’ve never heard a scream quite like that. It’s like a Hitchcock movie gone awry.
Grisham - Have you ever seen a superstar, male or female, as flexible as Melina?
J.R. - No, Todd, I have not.
J.R. - There are Canadian huskies howling all over. Man, what a scream!
Long - What can I do for you, sir?
Vince - WHERE’S MY PICTURE!? Last week, you said you were gonna give us a surprise that was gonna change the face of SD - AND YOU’VE DONE THAT! THE ANIMAL IS BACK ON SD! IT’S MAGNIFICENT! YOU ALSO SAID THAT YOU WERE GONNA COME UP WITH SOMETHING BREAKING POINT…WOW! I’ve gotta ask you - why? Why did you double cross the Undertaker?
Long - You said…
Vince - I TOLD YOU TO ENTERTAIN THOSE PEOPLE. THAT’S WHAT I SAID. THAT’S ALL I SAID. ENTERTAIN OUR WWE UNIVERSE! I think you owe the WWE Universe an answer. Go to the ring, Teddy. I’ll be back here in your office listening to what you say. NOW GIT! And by the way, do you have any idea what the Undertaker’s gonna do to you!?
Long - I think I gotta go, sir…
Long - First, I would like to welcome back the biggest addition to the SD roster - BATISTA! (fans barely react) I came out here to make an admission. I admit… (fans chant YOU SUCK) Just a minute - I admit that this was pre-planned! It was pre-planned to prevent the Undertaker from becoming the World champion. Now… I’m not gonna stand out here and say that I’m proud of what I did because I’m not. I’m not gonna stand out here and say that I’m not afraid of the Undertaker…BECAUSE I AM! And I know that he may show up here sometime tonight... and that’s why... I have surrounded myself with this security. Now listen, lemme remind you - I’m not the only one involved in this. There’s the referee Scott Armstrong and the current champion, CM Punk! Now… I know how I feel about this conspiracy…and I would like to tell all of you why I did what I did. You see, I’ve go a family to take care of. Times are tough and I can’t let my family down. I can’t afford to let them see me standing in the unemployment line - and let’s be honest, I’m too old to learn something new. So I would like to apologize for my actions. I would like to apologize to the WWE Universe, and I would like to apologize to every one of you. And I especially would like to apologize to the Undertaker. And one last thing - I hope that the Undertaker can find it in his heart to forgive me. Thank you!
Long - Driver. Get me out of here. Driver… go!
Taker - BUCKLE UP, TEDDY!
Long - SOMEBODY HELP ME! GET ME OUTTA HERE! (purple light, smoke, and lightning fill the limo)
J.R. - Buckle up, Teddy…
Grisham - I see a sign that a member of our WWE Universe is holding - CM CROOK - that sums it up.
Grisham - Does Taker have a heart?
J.R. - Long better hope so.
Punk - I TOLD YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seems like I’m out here a lot saying that to you - I said I would beat Jeff, and I did. I told you so. I said that I would get rid of Jeff Hardy FOREVER! AND I DID! I told you so. And then I said I would make the Undertaker tap out to the Anaconda Vise and you laughed - and then I did just that! And I didn’t come out here to brag about being the first man to make the Undertaker tap out - I came out here to confront him in MY RING! My yard…if you will. I came out here to stick MY World title in his face! AND LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AND SAY TO HIM I TOLD YOU SOOOOOO. But of course, he’s conveniently not here, so instead, I’ll address you people. You people think I’ve been preaching to you…all right. Yes, I HAVE! Because you people NEED a good preaching to. You people need someone you can look up to - a leader who isn’t morally corrupt and is righteous - not self-righteous. You’re gonna do what your hero the Undertker did - give up. By the looks of half of ya, you already have. What kind of existence do you have where you wake up and pop a pill to crawl out of bed? Then you ravage your body with pitchers of beer and that’s supposed to somehow heal your broken self-worth? Then you inhale poison into your lungs to just calm your nerves. Then at the end of your sad, lonely day, you’re in need of another pill to help you sleep. You are all just a legion of inebriated zombies waiting in line at the pharmacy pleading for that latest anti-depressant to put a smile on that face! You scratch and you claw for scapegoats for your inadequacies - and you have a LOT of inadequacies! And don’t tell me that you don’t self-medicate to forget it all - to hide from your inadequacies. If you do, then you’re a liar too. You’re lying to yourselves right now! You go home and lie to your family, and right now, you’re lying to me. I CAN SEE THROUGH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR LIES BECAUSE I AM NOT A LIAR! I AM A MAN WHO SAYS WHAT HE MEANS AND MEANS WHAT HE SAYS! I AM A PROPHET! I AM THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION! A CHAMPION THAT EVERYONE CAN BE PROUD OF! THE FIRST AND ONLY STRAIGHT EDGE WORLD CHAMPION IN HISTORY! AND IF YOU’RE NOT STAIGHT EDGE LIKE ME - WELL, that just means I’M BETTER THAN YOU!
J.R. - We’ve heard another sermon from the second city saint!
J.R. - Know what I like most about Cryme Tyme?
Grisham - Their jeans?
J.R. - No. Eve. She makes for a fine..presentation.
Grisham - Hell in a Cell brought to you by TMNT: Smash Up! Very cool, right?
J.R. - Very cool. For a guy like you.
Grisham - It’s off the chain!
J.R. - Pink and black has a lot of significance.
Grisham - Not just pink - NEON PINK!
J.R. - Thanks for correcting me again on television.
(after Smith dances)Grisham - What was that?
J.R. - I don’t know. I’d like to not see it again.
Grisham - That was like Elaine from Seinfeld.
J.R. - Will the Hart Dynasty be Unified tag team champions? I vote yes!
Grisham - Kidd puts 2 boots RIGHT IN THE GRILL of JTG!
J.R. - Why do they call Canada the Great White North? It’s September!
Grisham - Well, it extends almost all the way to the North Pole - it’s always snowing somewhere in Canada.
J.R. - Didn’t know that.
(after a Shad lariat)J..R - There was an old-school Stan “the Lariat” Hansen clothesline!
J.R. - A win over the Harts in Canada would be controversial. Like Keaneu West…
Grisham - It’s Kanye.
Grisham - Khali’s hands are the size of a laptop computer!
Fan - SEE NO EVIL!
Singh - WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? THAT’S MY BROTHER!
Drew - It seems that R-Truth was involved in an accident in the backstage area, and unfortunately, I was informed he is unable to compete here tonight. So Charlie, as far as I’m concerned, that makes you the winner by forfeit! Congratulations! (he then double arm DDTs Haas)
Grisham - Few men have ever had the power going through their veins that Batista has!
J.R. - HE’S RIPPED! HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S MADE OUT OF GRANITE! BUT WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE IS WHAT’S INSIDE HIS HEART!
Grisham - Jericho has disdain for everyone - and apparently, Batista fits that category.
J.R. - Jericho is no member of the welcome wagon - if that still exists. In any neighborhood.
Grisham - The Codebreaker was broken by Batista and parlayed into a perfect Batista Bomb!
HAHAHAHAHA oh man I'm dying over here at Taker kidnapping Teddy Long. It's nice to know that despite being hellbent on revenge for getting screwed over, he had to time install a smoke machine in the limo
them over.
