The Keep Your Hands Off My Mexi-Cock™ OTT

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[quote name='BigSpoonyBard']Hell, if any of my male friends tried to hug me, I'd probably break their nose. My female friends, on the other hand... :lol:[/QUOTE]

He'd just break their hymen. Heyooo!
 
[quote name='AngellicLulu']I don't hug friends. They think it weird... esp. since I'm supposedly just one of the guys.[/QUOTE]

I'm fairly certain there's an easy joke about D&D players there, but hey,
that wouldn't be nice.
 
[quote name='BigSpoonyBard']Hey now! It's a little late for that ;)[/QUOTE]

You're right, my bad; had you confused with Subbie. :lol:
 
[quote name='JSweeney']But then Live Journal would go out of business![/QUOTE]

No kidding... you cant hit up chix on the Internet.exe without emos journals!! :booty:
 
[quote name='Moxio']Ugh I hate hugging. It's uber unmacho for a studmaster like me. *sparkle in teeth*[/QUOTE]
You much rather prefer sechs in the butt, no?
 
[quote name='SpottedNigel']“I was a happily married man – two kids, a wife, a mistress and an almost unnatural interest in strippers. Then, I got hooked on the internet. Now, I have no time or energy for infidelity, as all of my time is taken up planning family vacations and helping my kids learn about history using the enormous resources of the web. It has certainly ruined my fun.”

- Marcel Crayon, Carcer City

HA![/QUOTE]
“Growing up in a strict religious house hold, I did not know what a penis or a vagina was. Then I got hooked on the internet. Now, I am ashamed to admit I have both.”

- Name withheld
:rofl:

“I’ve always had a healthy sexual appetite. Around the time I hit puberty, I became sexually fixated with my grandmother. I could not get her out of my mind. People told me it was wrong, but I honestly believed that they were lying. If it feels so right, how can it be wrong, right? Wrong! I heard about the interweb. I went online expecting to discover a whole secret society of people JUST like me who loved much elder relatives, and hoped that for the first time since I gave up fantasizing about my sister, I could feel normal. How wrong I was. No one is obsessed with their grandma aside from me. I am a complete freak, and completely alone. The internet has ruined EVERYTHING. The worst of it is I STILL LOVE HER!”

- Brain Baylor, Shady Pines
:rofl:
 
Damned videogame companies and thier 4th quarter schedules! With the next 3 and a half months, there are more than 30 games coming out that I'd actually consider paying full retail on. Then, there's about 50 more that I'd like have.
 
[quote name='dcfox']You much rather prefer sechs in the butt, no?[/QUOTE]

Was that some sort of invitation? You two, get a room.

[quote name='FriskyTanuki']
“I’ve always had a healthy sexual appetite. Around the time I hit puberty, I became sexually fixated with my grandmother. I could not get her out of my mind. People told me it was wrong, but I honestly believed that they were lying. If it feels so right, how can it be wrong, right? Wrong! I heard about the interweb. I went online expecting to discover a whole secret society of people JUST like me who loved much elder relatives, and hoped that for the first time since I gave up fantasizing about my sister, I could feel normal. How wrong I was. No one is obsessed with their grandma aside from me. I am a complete freak, and completely alone. The internet has ruined EVERYTHING. The worst of it is I STILL LOVE HER!”

- Brain Baylor, Shady Pines
[/QUOTE]

"Ever since I was a little boy, I always had a certain fixation with my stuffed animals. My favorite- I can still see him- was a miniature pony that I had on my bed, named Trigger. Every afternoon we would play cowboys and indians, and have the times of our lives. Even as I grew, I kept Trigger around, if purely for sentimental reasons. One day, I was about 15 or so- I sat in my room, masturbating, and I thought of Trigger. The soft, tawny fur, the way he was shaped.. I took a knife, and cut him an asshole, and then I screwed him. I screwed my plush horse. Afterwards, I couldn't believe what I had done, and I cried for hours. I had defiled my childhood friend, and it felt so good. But then, I got AOL. As it turns out, I found an AOL group, devoted to relations with animals. I found out, I'm not unique, there are other people like me. Thanks to AOL, I'm now in jail, prosecuted outside a stud farm for animal cruelty. Thanks a bunch, AOL."

Brian Cairns, Seattle
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']Was that some sort of invitation? You two, get a room.



"Ever since I was a little boy, I always had a certain fixation with my stuffed animals. My favorite- I can still see him- was a miniature pony that I had on my bed, named Trigger. Every afternoon we would play cowboys and indians, and have the times of our lives. Even as I grew, I kept Trigger around, if purely for sentimental reasons. One day, I was about 15 or so- I sat in my room, masturbating, and I thought of Trigger. The soft, tawny fur, the way he was shaped.. I took a knife, and cut him an asshole, and then I screwed him. I screwed my plush horse. Afterwards, I couldn't believe what I had done, and I cried for hours. I had defiled my childhood friend, and it felt so good. But then, I got AOL. As it turns out, I found an AOL group, devoted to relations with animals. I found out, I'm not unique, there are other people like me. Thanks to AOL, I'm now in jail, prosecuted outside a stud farm for animal cruelty. Thanks a bunch, AOL."

Brian Cairns, Seattle[/QUOTE]

:puke:
:rofl:
 
Oh man, I'm here at work and I go to enter one of the carpanter's pay checks into the accounting system, and I see a name that's obviously destined for...greater things.

The man's name is Richard Cockfield. Dick Cockfield. His parents must've hated him. Or loved him, I dunno.
 
[quote name='2poor']:puke:
:rofl:[/QUOTE]

:D I dunno where Tanuki and Nigel got their's, but I made that one up on the spot. Beastiality is about the grossest thing I can think about, but I can write another, if you want. :lol:
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']:D I dunno where Tanuki and Nigel got their's, but I made that ne up on the spot. Beastiality is about the grossest thing I can think about, but I can write another, if you want. :lol:[/QUOTE]

i would like to keep beastiality stories to once a day, but whatever floats your boat. ;)
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']:D I dunno where Tanuki and Nigel got their's, but I made that ne up on the spot. Beastiality is about the grossest thing I can think about, but I can write another, if you want. :lol:[/QUOTE]
Post #329 ;)
 
[quote name='FriskyTanuki']Post #329 ;)[/QUOTE]

Of course. I love the de-balled mouse. :lol:

[quote name='2poor']i would like to keep beastiality stories to once a day[/QUOTE]

I didn't mean beastiality, I think that was wishful thinking on your part. ;)

"I was always the shrimp at school, looked down by the other kids, especially bullies. I was the one they always picked on, so I usually had pretty low self-esteem all the time. One day, I refused to give up my treasured toy truck to the school's biggest aggressor, Thomas. To make a long, painful story short, he knocked me down, and started to urinate on my back. Soon, his friends joined in, and soon I was soaked and drenched but not, suprisingly, miserable. I found that.. I liked it. Soon, I began to intentionally antagonize the school bullies so that they would do it, again, and again. Then, I grew older, and found the internet. I joined a yahoo group, where I found that there were hundreds of other people like me, that enjoyed being urinated on. I was in heaven, until I decided to meet up with one of my friends from the group. It was he, along with three other men, who brutally beat me up, raped me, and dumped me with a kilo of cocain in the alley next to the police station. Thanks, Yahoo, now I'm incarcerated for 35 years. But I still have my consolation- The other inmates have the same fetish I do."

- Scott Kemp, San Diego
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']Of course. I love the de-balled mouse. :lol:



I didn't mean beastiality, I think that was wishful thinking on your part. ;)

"I was always the shrimp at school, looked down by the other kids, especially bullies. I was the one they always picked on, so I usually had pretty low self-esteem all the time. One day, I refused to give up my treasured toy truck to the school's biggest aggressor, Thomas. To make a long, painful story short, he knocked me down, and started to urinate on my back. Soon, his friends joined in, and soon I was soaked and drenched but not, suprisingly, miserable. I found that.. I liked it. Soon, I began to intentionally antagonize the school bullies so that they would do it, again, and again. Then, I grew older, and found the internet. I joined a yahoo group, where I found that there were hundreds of other people like me, that enjoyed being urinated on. I was in heaven, until I decided to meet up with one of my friends from the group. It was he, along with three other men, who brutally beat me up, raped me, and dumped me with a kilo of cocain in the alley next to the police station. Thanks, Yahoo, now I'm incarcerated for 35 years. But I still have my consolation- The other inmates have the same fetish I do."

- Brian Trainor, San Diego[/QUOTE]

:rofl:
its kinda sad how these stories youre making up with these weird ass fetishes relate to some peoples lives. who in their right mind would have someone poop on their chest?
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']Of course. I love the de-balled mouse. :lol:



I didn't mean beastiality, I think that was wishful thinking on your part. ;)

"I was always the shrimp at school, looked down by the other kids, especially bullies. I was the one they always picked on, so I usually had pretty low self-esteem all the time. One day, I refused to give up my treasured toy truck to the school's biggest aggressor, Thomas. To make a long, painful story short, he knocked me down, and started to urinate on my back. Soon, his friends joined in, and soon I was soaked and drenched but not, suprisingly, miserable. I found that.. I liked it. Soon, I began to intentionally antagonize the school bullies so that they would do it, again, and again. Then, I grew older, and found the internet. I joined a yahoo group, where I found that there were hundreds of other people like me, that enjoyed being urinated on. I was in heaven, until I decided to meet up with one of my friends from the group. It was he, along with three other men, who brutally beat me up, raped me, and dumped me with a kilo of cocain in the alley next to the police station. Thanks, Yahoo, now I'm incarcerated for 35 years. But I still have my consolation- The other inmates have the same fetish I do."

- Brian Trainor, San Diego[/QUOTE]
:lol: Pretty awesome that you made that on the spot, but why are they all named Brian?
 
[quote name='dcfox']:lol: Pretty awesome that you made that on the spot, but why are they all named Brian?[/QUOTE]


Edit- Changed.

Woah, I forgot about that. :lol: Brian Cairns was this douchebag senior at my school whom I hated with a passion, and Kemp is an irritating chemistry teacher.

"I would never have considered myself kinky, or into weird things when I grew up. If someone even hinted at pain, I would cringe like a child. I was, in the literally sense, a total wuss. When I turned 21, I decided to indulge and go with my buddies to the local dominatrix club. I payed $250 to get spanked by their specialist, Priscilla, but when one thing led to another, she gave me a jury-rigged Prince Albert, sans anesthetic. But I was so hped up on crack, I had no feeling when she pierced it. When I woke up the next morning, the pain was incredible, but for some reason, it wasn't a negative pain. In fact, it only aroused me.. which only made it worse. When I got home, I signed into MSN to find a community with the same interests as me, and to my suprise, I was welcomed into the first group I applied to! Soon, I had to meet up, so I met up with Jack, who lived nearby. We started going at it, and before I knew it, he had me so stoned, I was cutting off my own fingers with a scalpel. Now, I'm in the emergency room, and $3000 in debt. Thanks, MSN!"

- Leon Kennedy, Racoon City

:puke:
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']Edit- Changed.

Woah, I forgot about that. :lol: Brian Cairns was this douchebag senior at my school whom I hated with a passion, and Kemp is an irritating chemistry teacher.

"I would never have considered myself kinky, or into weird things when I grew up. If someone even hinted at pain, I would cringe like a child. I was, in the literally sense, a total wuss. When I turned 21, I decided to indulge and go with my buddies to the local dominatrix club. I payed $250 to get spanked by their specialist, Priscilla, but when one thing led to another, she gave me a jury-rigged Prince Albert, sans anesthetic. But I was so hped up on crack, I had no feeling when she pierced it. When I woke up the next morning, the pain was incredible, but for some reason, it wasn't a negative pain. In fact, it only aroused me.. which only made it worse. When I got home, I signed into MSN to find a community with the same interests as me, and to my suprise, I was welcomed into the first group I applied to! Soon, I had to meet up, so I met up with Jack, who lived nearby. We started going at it, and before I knew it, he had me so stoned, I was cutting off my own fingers with a scalpel. Now, I'm in the emergency room, and $3000 in debt. Thanks, MSN!"

- Leon Kennedy, Racoon City

:puke:[/QUOTE]

aww i know a girl named priscilla. that would be kind of a weird though.
 
[quote name='Xevious']Friends come and go. Sounds like this one is on her way out...[/QUOTE]

Yeah, she COMES alright. And she's on her way in....and out.....and in.......

[quote name='JSweeney']I fail to see the issue.
I mean, it's not like you're going to have sex with her, so what the issue?
Or IS that the issue?[/QUOTE]

Well, I've heard shes pretty good in the sack, but, HAH, It ain't happening.
 
[quote name='MorbidAngel4Life']She lives like 5 minutes from me :lol:[/QUOTE]

Ah, so it's much worse than that. ;)


And hey, I didn't know anyone lived within 500 miles of you. :shock: You learn something new every day. :lol:
 
[quote name='The Successful Dropout']has anyone seen Cry Wolf yet?[/QUOTE]

i would also like some input about this movie. if its scary ill be taking some ho to watch it with me.
 
[quote name='2poor']i would also like some input about this movie. if its scary ill be taking some ho to watch it with me.[/QUOTE]

don't talk about rodimus like that!
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']Ah, so it's much worse than that. ;)


And hey, I didn't know anyone lived within 500 miles of you. :shock: You learn something new every day. ;)[/QUOTE]

:rofl: Armada is a tight knit community. In the span of 10 miles, you know EVERYONE. Theres about 1000 people in Armada right now. I live on the outskirts.

So I live in the country, big deal ;). There are some fuckin HOTTIES up here.
 
I've got over 1100 songs on my playlist at the moment, and shit like this still happens:

Garbage Temptation Waits
Nellie McKay Sari
Garbage Temptation Waits
Nellie McKay Sari


Shuffle sucks. :bomb:
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']I've got over 1100 songs on my playlist at the moment, and shit like this still happens:

Garbage Temptation Waits
Nellie McKay Sari
Garbage Temptation Waits
Nellie McKay Sari

Shuffle sucks. :bomb:[/QUOTE]
So wait, there are more songs on your playlist than people in Morbid's town?
 
[quote name='MorbidAngel4Life'] Theres about 1000 people in Armada right now.[/quote]

HOLY HELL! Thats some sort of record!

EDIT: to explain that randomness, i read that as "Amanda" not "Armada".

I think its time to take out my contacts
 
[quote name='MorbidAngel4Life']So I live in the country, big deal ;). There are some fuckin HOTTIES up here.[/QUOTE]

The thing that sucks aout living in Fort Collins is the hot-not girl ratio is waay skewed. Maybe 15% of the girls are any good looking but the ones that are hot are fucking incredible. :lol: I dunno if I'd rather have more 'meh, she's hittable' girls or just stick to the few uber-hotties. :whistle2:k
 
[quote name='MorbidAngel4Life']:rofl: Armada is a tight knit community. In the span of 10 miles, you know EVERYONE. Theres about 1000 people in Armada right now. I live on the outskirts.

So I live in the country, big deal ;). There are some fuckin HOTTIES up here.[/QUOTE]

Well hey, if I'm ever in the area (like hell I will be) you can introduce me to their younger sisters. ;)
 
[quote name='dcfox']So wait, there are more songs on your playlist than people in Morbid's town?[/QUOTE]

Of course. :lol:

[quote name='Sleepkyng']You like Nellie Mckay?

I booked her at the Point in Bryn Mawr a few years ago.

cute girl, very talented.[/QUOTE]

Yeah. I like alot of music.
 
[quote name='SpottedNigel']HOLY HELL! Thats some sort of record!

EDIT: to explain that randomness, i read that as "Amanda" not "Armada".

I think its time to take out my contacts[/QUOTE]

:lol: That would be her name, yes....


[quote name='Sleepkyng']You like Nellie Mckay?

I booked her at the Point in Bryn Mawr a few years ago.

cute girl, very talented.[/QUOTE]

I've heard of her, but can't say I've heard her music.

[quote name='Tiphireth']The thing that sucks aout living in Fort Collins is the hot-not girl ratio is waay skewed. Maybe 15% of the girls are any good looking but the ones that are hot are fucking incredible. :lol: I dunno if I'd rather have more 'meh, she's hittable' girls or just stick to the few uber-hotties. :whistle2:k[/QUOTE]

There are definitely some uber-hotties here. Theres this one girl......:drool::drool::drool::drool:

She's like 5'1" tall, if that, and she is SMOKIN.

[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']Well hey, if I'm ever in the area (like hell I will be) you can introduce me to their younger sisters. ;)[/QUOTE]

You know you wanna come here and bang some underagers :lol:
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']Well hey, if I'm ever in the area (like hell I will be) you can introduce me to their younger sisters. ;)[/QUOTE]

I know I shouldn't be suprised, but that still made me gag. :-({|= ( I love that emoticon )

[quote name='Morbidangel']
There are definitely some uber-hotties here. Theres this one girl......:drool::drool::drool::drool:

She's like 5'1" tall, if that, and she is SMOKIN.[/QUOTE]

Oh man, I know what you mean. There's this girl on our school's basketball team, who's 5'2" ( :lol: ), but oh man is she :drool::drool::drool:. She even warrants a =P~
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']I've got over 1100 songs on my playlist at the moment, and shit like this still happens:

Garbage Temptation Waits
Nellie McKay Sari
Garbage Temptation Waits
Nellie McKay Sari


Shuffle sucks. :bomb:[/QUOTE]
Mine's up to about 1700 now.
 
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