The Mickie James Roast Beef Wrestling Thread

Shit, not only that, but that also requires an actual Survivor Series match to take place at Survivor Series. Not a token mid-carder one, even.




Also: Royal Rumble 2011. Nash and Booker return. Booker is put on commentary, Nash is getting back in the ring. Dear WWE, you're doing it wrong.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']

Hardymugshot.jpg


Heh.[/QUOTE]

I want that to be my Xbox Live gamer picture.
Dude looks beyond twisted.
I'm getting drunk just looking at that.
 
[quote name='Scorch']Starting to hear rumors of Team Punk (Punk, Cabana, Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli) vs Team Triple H (HHH, Nash, ??? And ???) for Survivor Series.. This would explain the tryout that Hero and Castagnoli received recently and why Nash had to get checked out by doctors to make sure he's ring-ready.[/QUOTE]

I just hope Claudio can stay #VeryEuropean in the WWE.
 
Hey Scorch, and other Booker haters, look what I read!

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon is said to be “very high on Booker T’s Smackdown commentary.”
According to a key WWE insider, Vince has told people Booker brings a “street perspective” to the broadcast, and feels that Booker balances out Michael Cole for the audience even better than Jerry “The King” Lawler does on Monday Night Raw.
“Vince usually hates people he can’t relate to,” our source candidly told us, “but he really likes Booker’s commentary because he feels no other broadcast on television right now offers Booker’s viewpoint. He keeps saying how unique and different Booker is.”
Click to expand...

HAHHAAHHAHA!!!!
 
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He brings the perspective of someone who says "awwwww, mannnnnnn" way too much.

JR was reserved in his praise of Booker's announcing on his blog, saying something along the lines of "it takes time to learn and develop new skills" (paraphrasing). JR is and always has been such a company man that him saying that is akin to saying Booker is the drizzling shits.

The more I look at it, Matt Hardy's mugshot ranks a 92% on the "how much does your mugshot look like an aged Scott Hall?" scale.

EDIT: Okay, quick google search and JR had this to say yesterday: "Booker is in a new role and not unlike wrestling it takes time to develop one's game. Broadcasting the genre isn't easy."

Keeping in perspective JR's positive spin on all things WWE, that's an out and out burial.
 
[quote name='ShinSolidus']Hey Scorch, and other Booker haters, look what I read![/QUOTE]


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN

I don't think saying someone brings a "street" perspective to the broadcast (or being described as "unique" and "different" in a simple role such a commentator) is that big of a complement.. is he the comic relief announcer, similar to Jerry Lawler? That'd make a lot more sense, I've been trying to take him seriously. I'll just view him as the Eugene of the commentary field and he'll be a lot easier to deal with.
 
[quote name='Halo05']I want that to be my Xbox Live gamer picture.
Dude looks beyond twisted.
I'm getting drunk just looking at that.[/QUOTE]

Oh... that's not alcohol. That's pills... and lots of 'em.

AXedXXTCIAA8w0d.jpg
 
Lemme know how that plea of not guilty goes for ya Mattitude. That mugshot looks like 90% of the people who come to the counter to buy Sudafed from me at work.
 
Just got around to watching last week's episode of Z!TLIS and Ryder brings up a good point. This is the WWE championship's history from MITB to present:

John Cena
CM Punk
vacated (?)
Rey Mysterio
John Cena
John Cena & CM Punk
CM Punk
Alberto Del Rio

More title changes than a 24/7 Rules Hardcore match. Great way to make people not care about the belt.
 
It looked so good for a while there when they gave Miz that crazy long title run, now they're right back to where they were...
 
All I know is I hate John Cena, I hate HHH, I hate WWE, I hate TNA, I hate wrestling, I hate everyone that watches it, I'm never going to watch it ever again and I'll see you all in the chat tonight.
 
It would if Shin could go one night without getting all hot and bothered every time there's a Covert Affairs commercial.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']
The more I look at it, Matt Hardy's mugshot ranks a 92% on the "how much does your mugshot look like an aged Scott Hall?" scale.
[/QUOTE]

Quite possibly the quote of the year.
 
[quote name='Genocidal']Just got around to watching last week's episode of Z!TLIS and Ryder brings up a good point. This is the WWE championship's history from MITB to present:

John Cena
CM Punk
vacated (?)
Rey Mysterio
John Cena
John Cena & CM Punk
CM Punk
Alberto Del Rio

More title changes than a 24/7 Rules Hardcore match. Great way to make people not care about the belt.[/QUOTE]

Fairly certain dead Crash Holly and Steve Blackman held the title in there somewhere.
 
This RAW has been enjoyable from the get-go, with the Miz/Truth segment being so hilarious it nearly brought me to tears! Let's see if the main event doesn't stink things up.
 
[quote name='Mr. Beef']This RAW has been enjoyable from the get-go, with the Miz/Truth segment being so hilarious it nearly brought me to tears! Let's see if the main event doesn't stink things up.[/QUOTE]

Not sure if we're watching the same Raw..
 
[quote name='Scorch']Not sure if we're watching the same Raw..[/QUOTE]
EDIT: This was written before that slight stinker of an ending to the main event.

The commentary has been strangely solid, the matches have been good (with the worst probably being the tag match, and even that was a nice one), and the promos have been solid. Definitely a solid episode of Raw.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']Somewhere in Canada, HHH is still out there trying to find Kevin Nash at the hospital.[/QUOTE]
He has a better chance of finding that second limo from TNA.
 
The opening promo exchange went on too long, but did at least have some funny lines from Punk and Alberto, and the comedy of Cena saying he's tired of making "average look awesome". Then HHH came out to kill the fun mood and announce Punk-Cena on free TV with no build, and then Morrison came out to job to Alberto. According to Cole, Morrison's on a "mini-roll" after scoring ONE WIN since returning a month back and losing every other match on both shows. Really good match. Loved the running knee>powerbomb>snap rana spot. Awesome sequence there, and Morrison took some great-looking bumps for Alberto's offense. Great schoolboy nearfall, too. It's a shame they've had Morrison lose so much, because if that was his first loss, it wouldn't have hurt him and he could've been a regular guy in the main event mix. Now, it's pretty clear that he's mainly a mid-carder who will get the occasional shot in main events. Eve-Nikki was fine - LOLed at Nattie's BUT WE DON'T reply to everything Beth said. The We Want Puppies chant was a funny throwback.

Poor Riley got jobber intro'd, which nixed the best part of his act - his theme. He won even more of a nothing match than last week, which was at least an entertaining pure trainwreck. This just had Vickie falling...somehow. The camera missed it. Swagger and Dolph argued after Riley won with a big schoolboy cradle. Then they showed HHH walking out for ANOTHER PROMO. fuck. HHH came out, the announcers recapped the convoluted angle in 20 seconds just like Impact. Then he and Nash rambled, repeated themselves, and Punk came out, said HHH's phone and balls are in his wife's purse, and he got decked by Nash. Cole said that the Punk-Cena Summerslam match was called one of the best matches in PPV history, which I sure don't remember. MITB one, sure, but not that one. Tag title match started with everyone talking about HHH and Nash. Then King buried the champs and the titles. No mentions of Kofi and Bourne having matching gear, which looked good. Cole talked about TEXTGATE! King rambled how unsuccessful the WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS have been. Holy shit this was crap. Fine match, but killed by the commentary. Loved seeing Bourne and Kingston win - Bourne gets his first title win ever in WWE. Then they put the belts over as a huge deal AND the tag division as exciting...after burying it on-air for weeks. This'll probably work about as well as TNA's X division "rebuilding" after burying that. Although actually, at least that has a division - this has...what four teams? I liked that they came back from the break, showed a replay, then had a celebration in the back. The problem was it was attended by Ryder and Titus 'O Neill, WHO IS ONLY ON NXT. Hopefully this is building to the Kings killing a face team for the titles.

Laurinitis sending HHH on a wild goose chase ruled. Loved HHH finding out that his supposed best friend was in a car accident and not even power-walking to a vehicle to go to the hospital and see him. Loved Miz and Truth as a team - if they're not going to SD to give that brand some star power, I guess having them as a team, or at least an alliance, is a good way to use them. Fun promo by them too - could've done without the massive sheer amount of NOISE when Truth's theme, Truth's rap, Miz's promo, and the commentary played over each other at once. Holy fuck did King kill the Punk-Cena match for me. Burying Punk's two PPV pinfall wins over Cena and saying he isn't that good. Between this and the tag title stuff, it seems like they're trying to turn King heel or make him a Cole copycat WHILE COLE IS STILL DOING HIS SCHTICK. Despite some annoying announcing, the match itself was really good - not as good as either of their PPV matches, but a tremendous match by TV main event standards. Loved the crowd's LET'S GO OILERS and MACHO MAN chants. I liked the interference of Nash leading to the pinfall - much like at Summerslam. Alberto's diving belt shot was something else and I like that they had him destroy Cena after the match. Between this and the Morrison deal, they did something they haven't done for a heel champ in forever - made him seem like a legit threat to someone.

Screens -

















Quotes -
King - Now that Alberto is the WWE Champion, his stash of expensive cars is growing.
Sign - Alberto Hates Alberto.
ADR - My name…(Cena’s theme hits)
JR - Business just picked up.
Cena - Everyone knows who you are - you’re the man who believes it’s your destiny to have that championship. I just wanted to make sure you know who I was - HOW YA DOIN’? I’M JOHN CENA! (Boos) I’M THE GUY THAT’S GONNA TAKE THAT WWE TITLE OFF YOUR WAIST! And not just that - I’m gonna hurt ya. I’m gonna hurt you bad enough to make you go back to your parents, and then you’ll be out your low-class announcer and your rental cars. I’m a nice guy, BUT YOU’RE A TARGET! I’m tired of making average seem awesome - THERE’S ONLY ONE MAN IN THIS COMPANY WHO CAN GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH ME! You’re not CM Punk, which means I’m gonna whip your ass!
Punk - Hold up, John-boy - you feeling déjà vu? Is this a rerun? You weren’t here last time, but hey, JOHN CENA WANTS ANOTHER TITLE MATCH! AWESOME! I’ve seen this one before, which is why we won’t do it - I BEAT YOU TWICE IN HIGH-PRESSURE SITUATIONS! And then, Berto cashes in his MITB case, which is understandable - HOWEVER, IF ANYONE’S GETTING A TITLE SHOT, IT’S ME! Ballsy though - demanding a shot, insulting him…and don’t you have 10,000 cars? Balls, but it’s not gonna happen…
ADR - BOTH OF YOU!
Cena - IT’S CAPTAIN THIRD WHEEL!
ADR - IT’S MY TIME! BECAUSE I’M THE WWE CHAMPION!
Punk - Ya done? Okay, one, don’t interrupt me while I’m speaking. I don’t have a problem with you cashing in your case - TWICE, and I did it better than you. You put your body on the line in WWE’s most dangerous match and you reaped the rewards of your effort. This whole thing is a conspiracy from you, HHH, Nash, and maybe Jack Tunney too. YOU’RE TRYING TO SCREW ME - THAT, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH. Since I have a problem, John-boy, you should pay attention to the past, because if you don’t, you’ll be doomed to repeat them. You’ve had problems with him, just like I did. At Summerslam, I insulted his wife, and so magically, Nash gets a text to take out CM Punk, but if you’d won, the text would’ve said “take out Cena” - SOMEONE WANTS BERTO TO BE CHAMP REAL BAD!
ADR - Destiny!
Punk - Destiny? I think what you mean by that is CM Punk officially cashing in his opportunity for his rematch at the WWE Title. That’s destiny.
Cena - He speaks Spanish - what he meant was Cena cashing in his rematch clause RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!
Punk - Your rematch clause exists as much as Santa.
Cena - And tonight, fairy tales become real - I WILL FACE ALBERTO DEL RIO!
ADR - AND I’M OFFICIALLY IGNORING BOTH OF YOU! This is my time - I DEFENDED MY TITLE LAST WEEK, SO NOW IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE. But not here in Canada! In front of these…Canadians! And you, Punk, at SummerSlam, I saw my chance and took advantage - SO STOP CRYING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. And this is for both of you…(HHH comes out)
HHH - First of all, take the smug look off your face - I’m not here to protect you. Whilw you don’t have a match tonight against them, but you do have one NEXT. As far as you two go, rematch clauses aren’t like MITB - you don’t cash them in whenever you feel like. THAT’S MY JOB - I’M THE COOO. Whether you think I screwed you or sent a text I didn’t send, as far as who gets their rematch first, I’ll leave that up to the two of you. In four weeks, Alberto will defend the WWE Championship against the man who wins tonight’s main event! A main event that will see CM Punk go one on one with John Cena.
Cole - Morrison’s been on a mini-roll here.
Cole - ALBERTO BEAT THE SD MITB WINNER, DANIEL BRYAN, ON SMACKDOWN! THAT’S A CAREER FOR SOME GUYS!
Guy - HELP HIM, RICARDO!
Beth - People say we wanna be pretty like the divas…
Natalya - BUT WE DON’T!
Cole - Beth wants to be POWERFUL, AND SPEAKING OF POWER, THE WWE LIVE TOUR IS POWERED BY K-MART!
Crowd - WE WANT PUPPIES!
Nikki - HAHAHAHA - LOSER!
Vickie - EXCUSE ME! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my next potential new client - JACK SWAGGER!
King - What is this?
J.R. - A train wreck.
HHH - There’s been a lot of controversy - Kevin and I spoke and we have it behind us, but in the effort to be transparent, I’d like to bring Nash out now. Kevin.
J.R. - Nash’s only son’s godfather is HHH.
HHH - Now, there’s obviously a lot of controversy - you felt like you were doing the right thing. You received a text, which did NOT come from me. You realize what happened wasn’t supposed to and I wanna make sure we’re all on the same page.
Nash - I’ve known you for 20 years, when you said you didn’t lie, I believed it. I got a text from you and I thought I was doing you a favor. I was gonna apologize to Punk, and then I thought about all the crap he ran by me and thought not so much. I appreciate your position, but please don’t ask me not to be a man.
HHH - I understand - CM Punk crossed the line last week, but you don’t work here. I can’t have you calling guys out.
Nash - I don’t work here - I don’t have to take his crap, and that security line wasn’t for me - it was for Punk. I WOULDA KILLED HIM!
HHH - Kevin, I understand your position, but you don’t work here, I can’t have you calling guys out. CALL HIM OUT AT TIM HORTON’S ACROSS THE STREET, JUST DON’T DO IT HERE! I’m not asking you not to be a man, but can ya please just leave?
Punk - Please don’t leave - WHO SENT THE TEXT MESSAGE!? We got a mystery, so let’s play Clue? WAS IT BIG LAZY WITH THE JUST FOR MEN? Maybe. Or was it HHH backstage with his sledgehammer? Or maybe, and this is the one my money’s on, it was Stephanie McMahon, with a candlestick in the library or something. I don’t believe a word either of you are saying right now. Nash, you came out to apologize to me? You shoulda just apologize, and you say I crossed a line? WELL, I’M A HABITUAL LINE-STEPPER! You should know about it - you’re one too! Ya know what? I’m done talking - last week, you got off easy - now I’m kicking your ass! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! YOU’VE NEVER LIKED ME! AT SUMMERSLAM, YOU CALLED IT DOWN THE MIDDLE UNTIL YOU COULD SCREW ME! WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF ME BEING CHAMPION!/ YOU AFRAID I’LL BE A GOOD CHAMP OR A BAD ONE? WHO’S PULLING THE STRINGS? IS IT YOU, BIG SEXY, OR YOUR BEAN-HEADED WIFE?
HHH - I know you’re a line-crosser, and I promised the world I wouldn’t get involved physically, but don’t mistake that I’m not the same damn guy I’ve always been! I’m telling you know - you cross a line with me, I’ll leave ya lying where ya stand!
Punk - Okay, wouldn’t want you to take this suit off, fold it up, and put it iny our wife’s purse where you keep your cell phone AND YOUR BALLS!
Cole - THEIR MATCH AT SUMMERSLAM WAS CALLED ONE OF THE GREATEST IN PPV HISTORY!
HHH - YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR HANDS ON SUPERSTARS!
Nash - It’s only been 4 weeks, ya put on a suit and…really?
HHH - I never thought I’d say this - but you changed.
Cole - HHH may have lost a friend tonight!
Cole - Raw is brought to you by JUST FOR MEN!
Cole - Do you realize that the tag champs have held the titles since May?
King - Since then, what have they done in the WWE landscape? The Bushwackers showed more personality in five seconds than these guys have had in their whole careers.
DO SOMETHING, GUYS!
Cole - IT’S BEEN CALLED TEXTGATE!
J.R. - WHO SENT THE TEXT TO NASH!? Nice double-team move by the champions.
King - You guys are talking about a different situation when the TAG TEAM TITLES ARE ON THE LINE!
J.R. - Brilliant dropkick by McGillicutty - almost perfect!
King - Show me something!
Cole - They’ve been champs for THREE MONTHS!
J.R. - Let’s see where the WWE Tag Team division goes now!
Kofi - NOW WE’RE THE TAG CHAMPIONS!
Bourne - YEAHAHAHAHA!
Cole - SANTINO JUST GOT GOT!
Truth - SHUT UP! Ya saw what just happened to little Jimmy? THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO LITTLE JIMMY ALL THE TIME. DON’T START THE WUT! WUT! WUT! Ya see, I been saying over and over again that there was a conspiracy in the WWE! Y’ALL GONNA MAKE ME LOSE MY MIND! YA SEE, HHH. Nash. Stephanie. John Cena. AND CM PUNK! THEY ALL IN ON THIS HERE TOGETHER. YA SEE, THEY SIT AROUND THE CONSPIRACY TABLE AND CONSPIRE! YA SEE, I KNOW ROOSTA IS A BREWSTA, BUT I USED TO MAIN EVENT PPVS, TOO. Now that HHH is in charge, it’s no longer about the Truth. Ya know what…SHUT UP! IT’S NO LONGER ABOUT YOU EITHER, MIZ!
Miz - You’re right. You’re absolutely right. THERE IS A CONSPIRACY IN WWE! WHAT WHAT WHAT, YA SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF DUCKS! SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHILE I’M TALKING!
Truth - SHUT UP!
Miz - Understand that I WAS THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA! I BEAT JOHN CENA ONE TWO THREE AT WM 27. I GUESS THAT’S AVERAGE, RIGHT!
Truth - TRUE DAT!
Miz - Then HHH becomes in control of Raw, just to do something, I have to pick a fight with Jared from Subway?
Truth - YA KNOW WHAT? WE’LL BE GOOD Y’ALL - WE KNOW Y’ALL DON’T HAVE NO HOME TRAINING, BEING CANADIANS!
Miz - So I’ll speak very slowly so you’ll understand me. IS EVERYONE READY!?
Truth - Y’ALL SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF ANIMALS!
Miz - I’M SICK OF PEOPPLE LIKE SANTINO, WHO HASN’T WON A MATCH IN FIVE YEARS, ON RAW, WHEN I’M THE MOST MUST-SEE WWE CHAMPION OF ALL-TIME! WE’RE SICK OF BEING UNDERUTILIZED. INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY, WE’LL JUST TAKE IT!
Truth - Any come our way, WE JUST GONNA TAKE IT. ANY SPIDAS CROSS OUR PATHS, WE GONNA SQUISH IT! ANY CONSPIRACIES WANNA PUSH US AROUND - WE PUSH BACK! AND SOONER OR LATER, PEOPLE GONNA GET GOT! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!
Miz - AND IT’S AWESOME!
Truth - YOU SUCK!
Miz - You SUCK!
Truth - AND THAT’S WHAT UP!
J.R. - CM Punk is WWE’s most topical superstar.
King - Punk isn’t that good.
J.R. - He beat Cena twice.
King - Mr. McMahon interfered in one of those matches and HHH screwed up in the other one.
King - WE’RE IN BIZARRO LAND - CANADA!
Crowd - LET’S GO OILERS!
(during the springboard lariat)Punk - I’M FLYING!
Cole - You have to wonder who Alberto wants to face.
King - Punk - EASIER TO BEAT!
Crowd - MACHO MAN! MACHO MAN!
Nash - HEY PUNK, THIS ISN’T OVER YET!
 
That ending to the main event was stupid and ruins a bunch of branches to the Cena/Punk feud they could have taken. Whatever. Big Lazy/Punk should still be entertaining if Lazy can find his old self on the microphone.
 
Another week of Raw, another week of me caring less about this whole angle.


Anyway, if it hasn't been covered yet, Jeff Hardy tweeted that he'll be at the Impact tapings this week. It's a Hardy statement, so I'll believe it when I see it.
 
WWE is putting out a second dvd set of ladder matches. Some good stuff on disc 1 from WCW, Smoky Mountain and even OVW (Katie Lea vs Beth Phoenix).

Then you get to disc 2 and it's like 15 matches of all 2007+ WWE, including MITB and other WM matches.

If they sold disc 1 by itself, I'd be into it.

They need to stop pretending that the match quality of the past 5-9 years even compares to the last several decades, let alone deserves to comprise 67% of the fucking set.
 
I almost picked up the OMG! Blu today, but I passed. I figured someone would stream it on Jtv in the next day or two like they did w/ the Nitro dvd.
 
The second wrestler named for the Revolution Wrestling Project is Len Olson, AKA "Dr. Luther". I don't know much about him, but he comes from the same Calgary scene that gave us Lance Storm & Chris Jericho. He was Jericho's best man at his wedding and is a 20-year vet, primarily wrestling in Canada and Japan with FMW.
 
Jericho wrote a lot about him in his first book. Came from the same wrestling school class as Storm and Jericho. Did a lot of stuff in Japan in the mid-90's, I think.
 
Speaking of Lance Storm, he just released an ebook:

A collection of stories written by Lance Storm for his official website StormWrestling.com. The Compilation covers his first commentary in Nov. 1999 thru the commentary he wrote after the very last WCW Monday Nitro March 27, 2001. Introductions, reflections, as well as photos, and personal documents have been added to make this a unique never seen before collection. 64,000 words
Click to expand...

http://www.amazon.com/Storm-Warning...J1E2/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1313841226&sr=8-7
 
[quote name='xilly']Shafted from an appearance on RAW yet again. WOOWOOWOO YOU KNOW IT, BRO.[/QUOTE]

He was on Raw congratulating the new tag champs.
 
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