Oh my God... that might've been the best episode yet. Michael and Jan getting together, Pam and Jim FINALLY getting together... and Karen lost the corporate job, while Ryan got it AND broke up with Kelly. Michael quoting Kim Possible was also greatness.
Andy - From henceforth, you will not be known as big tuna, you will be big haircut.
Pam - For the record, I’m not embarrassed… and it only took me three to summon the courage.
Karen - Pam is… kind of a bitch.
Michael - Convoys are really fun, we could pull aside each other… flip each other off… moon each other…
Stanley - I’ve never heard you talk so much… I thought it was Kelly.
Kelly - Pam, don’t worry, we were all so drunk that no one even remembers what you said.
Creed - I blogged the whole thing.
Ryan - Last year, Creed asked me to set up a blog. I opened up a Word file and typed in a web address to save the world from Creed‘s brain. I’ve read some of it, and even for the internet, it’s pretty shocking.
Dwight - Welcome to the Hotel Hell - check in time is now and check out time is never.
Jim - You’re not even the manager in your own dream?
Jim - So your biggest fantasy is to co-manage bed and breakfast in Hell… with the devil.
Dwight - Yes, but I haven’t told you my salary - $80,000.
Michael - DEFCON 20!
Michael - She made me do a lot of things I didn’t want to do.
Michael - Jan is in a different place right now, and it is a sign of maturity to give people second chances.
Pam - I’m sure that Jim was uncomfortable when Roy and I joked around… that one time.
Meredith - In my experience, men care more about the back than the front.
Michael - This is the opposite of shallow… this is emotionally magnificent.
Pam - I am what I am… that’s Popeye.
Michael - Here’s the sitch - two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. Now, I’m in the best relationship of my life… with the same woman.
Pam - You will be your own assistant?
Dwight - Yes, I need someone I can trust.
Dwight - Do you accept?
Pam - Absolutely I do.
Pam - I learned from Jim that whenever Jim asks you to do something secret, say absolutely I do.
Oscar - Do you think he’ll get that job?
Phyllis - No, but he isn’t qualified for the one he has now.
Dwight - This is a Schrute buck - one thousand of these equals an extra five minutes for lunch.
Pam - What is the cash value of a Schrute buck?
Dwight - One-one hundredth of a dollar.
Pam - I literally cannot wait to see what Dwight has planned for us.
Dwight - Stanley, you have earned a Schrute buck.
Stanley - I don’t want it.
Dwight - You don’t want a Schrute buck?
Stanley - I’ll give you a Stanley nickel if you never talk to me again.
Dwight - What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley - The same as Unicorns to Leprechauns
David - This is off the record.
Karen - He would be a disaster.
Jan - YOU SON OF A BITCH, WHERE DO YOU GET OFF FIRING ME!?
Michael - David, I didn’t tell her…
Jan - So long, asshole!
David - We’re not giving you the job.
Karen - Wow, that was some serious, hardcore self destruction.
Jan - It’s just these painkillers I’ve been taking since the surgery…
Michael - Why is my office black?
Michael - Ryan, coffee.
Ryan - I don’t do that anymore.
Michael - I am never going to leave… I am going nowhere. This place is like my home, my hospital, and my old age home.
Pam - We never got the timing down. I shot him down, then he shot me down. If he’s gone for good, then… okay…
Jim - Excuse me, are you free for dinner tonight?
Pam - ..yes…
Jim - Great, it’s a date.
Kelly - Who was that?
Ryan - Nobody. We’re done!