Apparently is illegal or something to leave newspapers uncollected for more than a few days, because the police were banging at both doors, front and back, and this is what I woke up to. Actually, technically I could barely hear the banging over the dog barking and actually couldn't hear the cops yelling "are you all right" until I was halfway to the door.
Did I mention I was naked ;-)
Yes, it gets worse......
After an all-night adultswim binge followed by some guilty gear, I had been sleep about an hour -- naked, as I might have mentioned already -- and too tired to figure out where my clothes were I carried some random stuff from the laundry basket and struggled to put it on on my way to the door. The door with the cop banging on it, so as you can imagine I had some motivation to move., even if I had no fashion sense involved whatsoever.
So I managed to get my wrist braces on just in time to grab the dogs away from the cop, and lock the door. You see, the door was unlocked, and in my tired state I didn't realize it was unlocked so I locked it again before I figured out how a locked door was really hard to open ;-)
So my formally bright white thong is sticking out of my slit to the hips full length jean skirt with the corset laces missing and all the loose buckled bits on my heavy winter barely zippered sweater were flapping around about as loose as I looked and I'm probably lucky they didn't write me up for attempted prostitution on top of the newspapers stick ;-)
Now here is the amazing thing......
After all this, I still wasn't the most disorganized person there!
Yeah, the cops forgot all about the big flashing lights and screaming involved in hauling in my newspaper reading dad away by ambulance the week before. And I'm pretty sure it was one of the same cops!
Apparently the officer was only going to check the records for that kind of thing if I hadn't gotten to the door -- and considering that not many people will answer the door naked like I will, it would have been bye-bye door: hello battering ram {more rational Police Departments would use a lock Smith, but I'm from a my crappy littlest historical town whose law-enforcement ideas are just as old as the tourist attracting stuff, so I don't have high hopes for that sort of thing ;-)
so, now that I'm officially awake {whether I want to be or not} any ideas on how to convince a 70 something-year-old man that he needs to cancel his newspaper until he comes out of the hospital? {He just refused when I called}
Bonus points if you can figure out why passing out three times sequentially -- once while the car was started with him behind the wheel -- is something that should be kept in the family {AKA, minx's evil plot to make an innocent old man loses his license , or so my dad keeps telling me every time I call ;-)
Did I mention I was naked ;-)
Yes, it gets worse......
After an all-night adultswim binge followed by some guilty gear, I had been sleep about an hour -- naked, as I might have mentioned already -- and too tired to figure out where my clothes were I carried some random stuff from the laundry basket and struggled to put it on on my way to the door. The door with the cop banging on it, so as you can imagine I had some motivation to move., even if I had no fashion sense involved whatsoever.
So I managed to get my wrist braces on just in time to grab the dogs away from the cop, and lock the door. You see, the door was unlocked, and in my tired state I didn't realize it was unlocked so I locked it again before I figured out how a locked door was really hard to open ;-)
So my formally bright white thong is sticking out of my slit to the hips full length jean skirt with the corset laces missing and all the loose buckled bits on my heavy winter barely zippered sweater were flapping around about as loose as I looked and I'm probably lucky they didn't write me up for attempted prostitution on top of the newspapers stick ;-)
Now here is the amazing thing......
After all this, I still wasn't the most disorganized person there!
Yeah, the cops forgot all about the big flashing lights and screaming involved in hauling in my newspaper reading dad away by ambulance the week before. And I'm pretty sure it was one of the same cops!
Apparently the officer was only going to check the records for that kind of thing if I hadn't gotten to the door -- and considering that not many people will answer the door naked like I will, it would have been bye-bye door: hello battering ram {more rational Police Departments would use a lock Smith, but I'm from a my crappy littlest historical town whose law-enforcement ideas are just as old as the tourist attracting stuff, so I don't have high hopes for that sort of thing ;-)
so, now that I'm officially awake {whether I want to be or not} any ideas on how to convince a 70 something-year-old man that he needs to cancel his newspaper until he comes out of the hospital? {He just refused when I called}
Bonus points if you can figure out why passing out three times sequentially -- once while the car was started with him behind the wheel -- is something that should be kept in the family {AKA, minx's evil plot to make an innocent old man loses his license , or so my dad keeps telling me every time I call ;-)
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