The Top 10 Ways To Get Bush To Immediately Help The Gulf Coast

[mykevermin]

10. Tell him they’re performing late term abortions in the Moriale Convention Center.
9. Have an ordained minister perform several hundred gay/lesbian marriages on Bourbon Street.
8. Tell him that they’re about to disconnect the feeding tube of a brain dead woman in Biloxi, Mississippi.
7. Suggest that they’re doing stem cell research in the Superdome.
6. Get Halliburton to submit a no-bid contract to rebuild the levees.
5. Tell him some Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are stranded on Grand Isle, Louisiana.
4. Get word to him that some “Pioneer” or “Ranger” campaign donors are trapped on Magazine Street.
3. Tell him some billionaires who need tax breaks are in Jefferson Parish.
2. Put a golf course down Canal Street.

and the number 1 way to get Bush to pay some bloody attention to the horrible crisis in Louisiana and Mississippi:

1. Tell him that Osama bin Laden is in Arkansas.

Dunno if this is Letterman or not, I found it on my desk this morning.

 

[evanft]

Zing!

 

[dennis_t]

Jon Stewart also has weighed in with one of the best quotes on the issue, and one I specifically direct to PAD's attention:

"Now, for you people who are saying, `Well, stop pointing fingers at the president...left-wing...the media's being too hard:

No. SHUT...UP! No! This is inarguably---inarguably---a failure of leadership from the top of the federal government.

Remember when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky? That was inarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for his behavior. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now. And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is that tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina."



Two other funnies from The Daily Show:

Ed Helms: While everybody else is busy setting up commissions and finding fault, through the president's leadership he'll end up building a billion dollar dam in Arkansas.
Jon Stewart: Why would he build a dam in Arkansas?
Ed Helms: His plan will be to fight the water there so we don't have to fight it here.


Jon Stewart: So no one's going to be held accountable for this at all?
Ed Helms: No. In fact, if history is any indication, they'll be hard-pressed finding enough medals to pin on these guys. My sources tell me the head of FEMA will be dipped in bronze and turned into an award to be given to other officials.

 

[evanft]

The Daily Show has been great the last 2 days.

 

[MrBadExample]

My favorite Daily Show quote was "When people say they don't want to play the Blame Game - they are to blame!"

 

[onikage]

I've got to start watching the Daily Show again, I see I've been missing some good stuff.

 

[evanft]

[quote name='MrBadExample']My favorite Daily Show quote was "When people say they don't want to play the Blame Game - they are to blame!"[/QUOTE]

I liked the "Meet the ers" segment. Classic.