This OTT is not crazy, or offensive.

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[quote name='dcfox']Give me Fable 2 and I'll write it for you.[/quote]

Suck my slightly larger than my right, left nut.

800 words is chump change.
 
[quote name='joe2187']Suck my slightly larger than my right, left nut.

800 words is chump change.[/quote]
I'll suck your freak nut if you send me Fable 2.
 
That's a serious proposition. You might want to consider that one joe. I mean, how much do you usually pay for someone to do that?
 
[quote name='Chika']smart man. say hi to wifey for me[/quote]

I'm no fool. I secretly fear her. Okay, maybe not so secretly. She says Hi back.

Anyway, story time...kinda longish:
There's this woman at the site I work at that I have nicknamed "ST" - for Smoking Troll. She's about five-foot naught and 250 lbs. It's no so much that she is un-attractive (which she is very unattractive), but she's the most annoying person I have met in a long time. Everyone tries to avoid her, and one of my co-workers and I will secretly call each other on our cells to get out of talking to her if she goes for a smoke at the same time as us.

The worst part is, she'll just walk up and jump into any conversation and brings it down. Example, when we were joking last week that I wasn't answering my phone or IMs, someone suggested that they'd need smoke signals to contact me. I said that was only when I was in a loincloth. She walks up and starts talking about kilts and that I should wear one sometime.

Anyway, that's just the background of this person.

The thing is, she has taken a liking to me, even saying I was a cute guy. Whenever she comes up when we're smoking, she goes out of her way to walk up and stand right in front of me. I've gotten a lot of teasing for that.

Well, one our file server's drives dropped off last week. Just disappeared. I could manually get to it, but mappings kept breaking. She called me about it, but since she's a contractor, I had to make sure she was mapping correctly.

So, I go to her desk, and it has a half cube wall that I'm leaning over to talk to her, and with my left hand, I'm calling one of my people to call me for a rescue call.

Now, you have to understand: I'm standing, and she's sitting, so I'm looking down at her, and noticing that her belt is just cutting into her gut. I start talking, and she decided to lean back in her chair and put her hands behind her head...really showing off the girls.

I look away (not all boobs are good) and as I talk, trying not to be rude, I'd glance back for eye contact, and go back to the screen.

That's when I notice it.

As we're talking, her nipples are getting harder and harder. Every time I glance back, they're poking out more and more. I'm frantically (and secretly) paging my coworker to call me, but she doesn't. Her shirt was already stretched pretty bad by the way she was leaning back, so this was very noticable and very disturbing.

I finally excuse myself and go chew out my coworker for not calling me and then I tell her the gruesome sight.

One good thing came out of it: my co-worker spread the story, so I have had a lot of the really pretty or busty girls come up and say "Hi" and then put their hands behind their heads while jutting their chests at me.

It's okay...one of the woman that did it is in HR...
 
[quote name='PlumeNoir']I'm no fool. I secretly fear her. Okay, maybe not so secretly. She says Hi back.

Anyway, story time...kinda longish:
There's this woman at the site I work at that I have nicknamed "ST" - for Smoking Troll. She's about five-foot naught and 250 lbs. It's no so much that she is un-attractive (which she is very unattractive), but she's the most annoying person I have met in a long time. Everyone tries to avoid her, and one of my co-workers and I will secretly call each other on our cells to get out of talking to her if she goes for a smoke at the same time as us.

The worst part is, she'll just walk up and jump into any conversation and brings it down. Example, when we were joking last week that I wasn't answering my phone or IMs, someone suggested that they'd need smoke signals to contact me. I said that was only when I was in a loincloth. She walks up and starts talking about kilts and that I should wear one sometime.

Anyway, that's just the background of this person.

The thing is, she has taken a liking to me, even saying I was a cute guy. Whenever she comes up when we're smoking, she goes out of her way to walk up and stand right in front of me. I've gotten a lot of teasing for that.

Well, one our file server's drives dropped off last week. Just disappeared. I could manually get to it, but mappings kept breaking. She called me about it, but since she's a contractor, I had to make sure she was mapping correctly.

So, I go to her desk, and it has a half cube wall that I'm leaning over to talk to her, and with my left hand, I'm calling one of my people to call me for a rescue call.

Now, you have to understand: I'm standing, and she's sitting, so I'm looking down at her, and noticing that her belt is just cutting into her gut. I start talking, and she decided to lean back in her chair and put her hands behind her head...really showing off the girls.

I look away (not all boobs are good) and as I talk, trying not to be rude, I'd glance back for eye contact, and go back to the screen.

That's when I notice it.

As we're talking, her nipples are getting harder and harder. Every time I glance back, they're poking out more and more. I'm frantically (and secretly) paging my coworker to call me, but she doesn't. Her shirt was already stretched pretty bad by the way she was leaning back, so this was very noticable and very disturbing.

I finally excuse myself and go chew out my coworker for not calling me and then I tell her the gruesome sight.

One good thing came out of it: my co-worker spread the story, so I have had a lot of the really pretty or busty girls come up and say "Hi" and then put their hands behind their heads while jutting their chests at me.

It's okay...one of the woman that did it is in HR...
[/quote]
That wasn't a very sexy story. :(

*pulls pants back up*
 
I must say, I saw someone post a Brittney Spears' song you did earlier and I had to lawl. Shit had me weak, $$$$a.

Driving is easy, just relax and check your mirrors often. Good luck.
 
[quote name='The Mana Knight']One day I'll make more SingStar videos, but tomorrow is my driver's test and that's all on my mind currently (so no more gaming tonight). I'll sing more Avril Lavigne for everyone. :p[/quote]You don't have to, man, I was just having a giggle over your dance moves... but you sing really well! :bouncy:
 
[quote name='Eviltude']And if you ever get fired you can file a sexual harassment suit![/quote]

[quote name='PlumeNoir']I'm no fool. I secretly fear her. Okay, maybe not so secretly. She says Hi back.

Anyway, story time...kinda longish:
There's this woman at the site I work at that I have nicknamed "ST" - for Smoking Troll. She's about five-foot naught and 250 lbs. It's no so much that she is un-attractive (which she is very unattractive), but she's the most annoying person I have met in a long time. Everyone tries to avoid her, and one of my co-workers and I will secretly call each other on our cells to get out of talking to her if she goes for a smoke at the same time as us.

The worst part is, she'll just walk up and jump into any conversation and brings it down. Example, when we were joking last week that I wasn't answering my phone or IMs, someone suggested that they'd need smoke signals to contact me. I said that was only when I was in a loincloth. She walks up and starts talking about kilts and that I should wear one sometime.

Anyway, that's just the background of this person.

The thing is, she has taken a liking to me, even saying I was a cute guy. Whenever she comes up when we're smoking, she goes out of her way to walk up and stand right in front of me. I've gotten a lot of teasing for that.

Well, one our file server's drives dropped off last week. Just disappeared. I could manually get to it, but mappings kept breaking. She called me about it, but since she's a contractor, I had to make sure she was mapping correctly.

So, I go to her desk, and it has a half cube wall that I'm leaning over to talk to her, and with my left hand, I'm calling one of my people to call me for a rescue call.

Now, you have to understand: I'm standing, and she's sitting, so I'm looking down at her, and noticing that her belt is just cutting into her gut. I start talking, and she decided to lean back in her chair and put her hands behind her head...really showing off the girls.

I look away (not all boobs are good) and as I talk, trying not to be rude, I'd glance back for eye contact, and go back to the screen.

That's when I notice it.

As we're talking, her nipples are getting harder and harder. Every time I glance back, they're poking out more and more. I'm frantically (and secretly) paging my coworker to call me, but she doesn't. Her shirt was already stretched pretty bad by the way she was leaning back, so this was very noticable and very disturbing.

I finally excuse myself and go chew out my coworker for not calling me and then I tell her the gruesome sight.

One good thing came out of it: my co-worker spread the story, so I have had a lot of the really pretty or busty girls come up and say "Hi" and then put their hands behind their heads while jutting their chests at me.

It's okay...one of the woman that did it is in HR...
[/quote]

now you know how you can get the hell out of that place and never look back and never *need* to work again.

whatever happened with that other job interview, btw?
 
I got a neighbor like that, biggest ugliest skank that ever did exist...her daughter is pretty rocking and one of the sweetest women I've met, so damned cute.

Skank mom though...is always saying some of the most creepiest shit to me, I know she's been screwing all the underage kids in the alley near my house...I hear em coming in and out of her balcony all day and night. Thing is she's just so fucken ugly...she says she's 43 but she looks about 83 that she smokes like ten packs a day. and she always wears these tiny spandex shorts that make wanna scream bloody murder...Ughhh...you can seen the veins on her legs crawling to her ass....GUUGH!!
 
[quote name='Eviltude']I must say, I saw someone post a Brittney Spears' song you did earlier and I had to lawl. Shit had me weak, $$$$a.

Driving is easy, just relax and check your mirrors often. Good luck.[/quote]Jesus, you can't just fling the n word around like it ain't no thang. :whistle2:|
 
[quote name='dcfox']That wasn't a very sexy story. :(

*pulls pants back up*[/quote]

Sadly, not all of my stories are sexy. :cry:

Be thankful - I cannot even, any human language, even accurately describe what I saw.
 
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b56kKRxWIc&feature=related[/media]

The whole episode is good, but the first minute or so is all you really need to see.
 
[quote name='PlumeNoir']Sadly, not all of my stories are sexy. :cry:

Be thankful - I cannot even, any human language, even accurately describe what I saw.[/quote]
What I want to know is how did you manage to hide your boner from her? :whistle2:k :lol:
 
[quote name='Chika']now you know how you can get the hell out of that place and never look back and never *need* to work again.

whatever happened with that other job interview, btw?[/quote]

It'd be hard to get a harrassment suit out of that, and besides - I'm not going to be "that guy" for something that was meant as a joke, when I have said enough things that were accidental double entendres (like the time I asked the one woman who likes to take naughty photos of herself with her company phone if "I could get under her desk and poke around for a bit" because I was testing which LAN drops were mislabeled).

Been playing phone tag on the Security Analyst gig. I have a guy in that department (whom I taught a lot of stuff to) who has been putting in good words for me. I'm going to try and catch up with the manager again tomorrow.
 
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[quote name='dcfox']What I want to know is how did you manage to hide your boner from her? :whistle2:k :lol:[/quote]

Read again - I said I was leaning over a half-wall. :lol:
 
[quote name='PlumeNoir']I'm no fool. I secretly fear her. Okay, maybe not so secretly. She says Hi back.

Anyway, story time...kinda longish:
There's this woman at the site I work at that I have nicknamed "ST" - for Smoking Troll. She's about five-foot naught and 250 lbs. It's no so much that she is un-attractive (which she is very unattractive), but she's the most annoying person I have met in a long time. Everyone tries to avoid her, and one of my co-workers and I will secretly call each other on our cells to get out of talking to her if she goes for a smoke at the same time as us.

The worst part is, she'll just walk up and jump into any conversation and brings it down. Example, when we were joking last week that I wasn't answering my phone or IMs, someone suggested that they'd need smoke signals to contact me. I said that was only when I was in a loincloth. She walks up and starts talking about kilts and that I should wear one sometime.

Anyway, that's just the background of this person.

The thing is, she has taken a liking to me, even saying I was a cute guy. Whenever she comes up when we're smoking, she goes out of her way to walk up and stand right in front of me. I've gotten a lot of teasing for that.

Well, one our file server's drives dropped off last week. Just disappeared. I could manually get to it, but mappings kept breaking. She called me about it, but since she's a contractor, I had to make sure she was mapping correctly.

So, I go to her desk, and it has a half cube wall that I'm leaning over to talk to her, and with my left hand, I'm calling one of my people to call me for a rescue call.

Now, you have to understand: I'm standing, and she's sitting, so I'm looking down at her, and noticing that her belt is just cutting into her gut. I start talking, and she decided to lean back in her chair and put her hands behind her head...really showing off the girls.

I look away (not all boobs are good) and as I talk, trying not to be rude, I'd glance back for eye contact, and go back to the screen.

That's when I notice it.

As we're talking, her nipples are getting harder and harder. Every time I glance back, they're poking out more and more. I'm frantically (and secretly) paging my coworker to call me, but she doesn't. Her shirt was already stretched pretty bad by the way she was leaning back, so this was very noticable and very disturbing.

I finally excuse myself and go chew out my coworker for not calling me and then I tell her the gruesome sight.

One good thing came out of it: my co-worker spread the story, so I have had a lot of the really pretty or busty girls come up and say "Hi" and then put their hands behind their heads while jutting their chests at me.

It's okay...one of the woman that did it is in HR...
[/quote]A few minutes of pain to have the hot ones do it too, sounds wroth it.
 
[quote name='Eviltude'][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b56kKRxWIc&feature=related[/media]

The whole episode is good, but the first minute or so is all you really need to see.[/quote]:rofl:
 
:lol: That is at least the 2nd time i've managed to do that.

Anyway, somebody want to tell me what this MAPP exam shit is?
 
Speaking of being mean to the orientals.
I was in a food court today, and of course the asian chick was givin out samples.
"^_^ SAMPLE? SAMPE? U TRY SAMPLE!? ^_^"

and this biiig fat ass white girl was like "NAH SORRY I DONT EAT MICE"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
[quote name='lilboo']Speaking of being mean to the orientals.
I was in a food court today, and of course the asian chick was givin out samples.
"^_^ SAMPLE? SAMPE? U TRY SAMPLE!? ^_^"

and this biiig fat ass white girl was like "NAH SORRY I DONT EAT MICE"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:[/QUOTE]
Everything but?
 
Pretty much what I was thinking. The way she said it was hilarious. She was one of them really ghetto over sized white girls that are fluent in Ebonics.

 
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