This wrestling thread was created on Alexandra York's supercomputer. DO YA GET IT?
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WeaponX2099
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[quote name='ShinSolidus']That moment is why we have the evil Cole of today. Kinda like when Professor X mindwiped Magneto, then all them years later, he turned into Onslaught.[/QUOTE]
Yay! X-men reference!!!
Yay! X-men reference!!!
basilofbkrst
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Zack was on Superstars today. . . And won???????
ShinSolidus
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Who would be Dormmamu? Kane? Or would he be Pyro? Human Torch, maybe? What about CM Punk? Who'd he be? Of course, The Blob would be Broadus Clay, and Ted DiBiase and Maryse would be Sebastian Shaw and Emma Frost respectively. Beth Phoenix as She-Hulk.... and now I realized how nerdy this is of me...
mykevermin
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Oh, 
this noise. I know Jesse Custer, Saint of Killers, and Gene Snitsky Arseface.
But other than that, I got nothin' on comics. Jimmy Corrigan, perhaps.
this noise. I know Jesse Custer, Saint of Killers, and But other than that, I got nothin' on comics. Jimmy Corrigan, perhaps.
WeaponX2099
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Comic book writers would never deal with WWE. It's career suicide.
D
Dick Tracy
Guest
I really like Bubba Ray in the main event scene. That promo he cut was really good.
Edit: And I really like Sting as champion. I know I'm in the minority on that, but that might be because I grew up watching WCW.
Edit: And I really like Sting as champion. I know I'm in the minority on that, but that might be because I grew up watching WCW.
basilofbkrst
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Purple Flames
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I saw the joke coming a mile away, but I still laughed my ass off 
JaytheGamefan
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Jeff Jarrett ends the show perfectly - "It's a bunch of crap". Karen's deal at the beginning went on for too long, as did many, many talking things. Gunner-Daniels was decent though and I love that it had ZERO bullshit. Perfectly clean finish - no ref bumps or anything. FINALLY, a match in TNA where someone was shown to be the better man. Sting-Ray-Anderson was boring, and Anderson's new blue with yellow-circled gear looks AWFUL. However, Bully Ray's promo afterward was tremendous, AJ's rebuttal was terrible. The glory days retread stuff was just sad - they ripped off the WM XIX bloody Vince with a pipe deal. And Anderson's SWEET NEW MONSTER TRUCK was introduced, which I thought for sure meant he was going to drive over a brand-new 1998 Lincoln Continental, or park it next to a Corvette and fill it with cement. Instead, Sting destroyed it while strolling through the parking lot sipping water.
Sting is in his 50s and doesn't need to be smashing up glass and climbing onto a slick hood to build up aing TV main event. The Morgan and Steiner deal was hilarious. It began with Morgan yelling, Steiner responded by playing PUTT-PUTT GOLF, and then they brawled. Morgan tried to choke him senseless with a chair. Somehow, he's a face. I think. Hogan and everyone came out for their weekly yelling session, oh and the Karen deal, she made sure to call everyone whores, skanks, sluts, and whatever else she could without getting bleeped. And that segued clunkily into a worse than usual Angelina-Velvet match because Angelina no-sold the entire thing and there's a right way to do it and a wrong way, and everything about this was the wrong way.
They're building up a Guns-Not-LAX feud to I guess make the non-Mexican Mexicans look like threats. Hernandez looks like a goof with his shorts and what appear to be white stockings. Anarquia at least looks like a caricature of a threatening Latino you'd see in a $5 Wal-Mart bin movie, Hernandez just has nothing going for him right now. Bad look, terrible talking, and he's a health risk to anyone he works with. So yeah, put him in there with a guy coming off an injury - that can't go badly at all. No Bischoff, Rob Terry, and basically no Fortune on this show. Not much of Immortal either. Joe's back for a feud with Crimson, who is apparently undefeated. I'd swear his team JUST LOST AT THE PPV TWO WEEKS AGO, but somehow that doesn't matter. At least do what TNA did when Angle beat Joe and say he's "unpinned". That's at least true, although tonight, they said he was completely undefeated until December of '06, when it was November of '06, which shouldn't be too hard to remember since it was one of the biggest matches in company history. Oh well. Abyss came out and ended it, while Joe just let the beating happen. Also, he has zero speed right now - like none. He teased the running boot into the seated chair bit and I think Hogan might've actually been able to beat him to it. At least he's not gutting people with a tribal knife. Abyss making wacky faces was easily the best part of this deal.
Screens -
Well, he WAS gonna be Vince's kid...
SKANKS!
WHORES!
SLUTS!
and...um...TITS! Can't really blame Jeff here.
He's rich, bitch!
Big Poppa Putt is your hookup.
Quotes -
Sting is in his 50s and doesn't need to be smashing up glass and climbing onto a slick hood to build up a
ing TV main event. The Morgan and Steiner deal was hilarious. It began with Morgan yelling, Steiner responded by playing PUTT-PUTT GOLF, and then they brawled. Morgan tried to choke him senseless with a chair. Somehow, he's a face. I think. Hogan and everyone came out for their weekly yelling session, oh and the Karen deal, she made sure to call everyone whores, skanks, sluts, and whatever else she could without getting bleeped. And that segued clunkily into a worse than usual Angelina-Velvet match because Angelina no-sold the entire thing and there's a right way to do it and a wrong way, and everything about this was the wrong way.They're building up a Guns-Not-LAX feud to I guess make the non-Mexican Mexicans look like threats. Hernandez looks like a goof with his shorts and what appear to be white stockings. Anarquia at least looks like a caricature of a threatening Latino you'd see in a $5 Wal-Mart bin movie, Hernandez just has nothing going for him right now. Bad look, terrible talking, and he's a health risk to anyone he works with. So yeah, put him in there with a guy coming off an injury - that can't go badly at all. No Bischoff, Rob Terry, and basically no Fortune on this show. Not much of Immortal either. Joe's back for a feud with Crimson, who is apparently undefeated. I'd swear his team JUST LOST AT THE PPV TWO WEEKS AGO, but somehow that doesn't matter. At least do what TNA did when Angle beat Joe and say he's "unpinned". That's at least true, although tonight, they said he was completely undefeated until December of '06, when it was November of '06, which shouldn't be too hard to remember since it was one of the biggest matches in company history. Oh well. Abyss came out and ended it, while Joe just let the beating happen. Also, he has zero speed right now - like none. He teased the running boot into the seated chair bit and I think Hogan might've actually been able to beat him to it. At least he's not gutting people with a tribal knife. Abyss making wacky faces was easily the best part of this deal.
Screens -
Well, he WAS gonna be Vince's kid...
SKANKS!
WHORES!
SLUTS!
and...um...TITS! Can't really blame Jeff here.
He's rich, bitch!
Big Poppa Putt is your hookup.
Quotes -
Tenay - The ring is filled with a UNIQUE MIX OF FEMALES. Knockouts and even women from catering.
Taz - She’s got the umbrella for falling horse poop.
Tenay - Kurt says he’s hiring a mistress for business reasons, know anything about it?
Taz - I’m not into his love life. They can both fit under the umbrella!
Karen - MY CRAZY EX-HUSBAND HAS HIRED A MISSTRESS SLUT TO PUT A HIT OUT ON ME, SO BEFORE THAT HAPPENS, WE’RE GONNA NIP THIS IN THE BUD. I HAVE A LIST OF SUSPECTS. I think we’re gonna start… right here. WITH YOU, GRANDMA! What do you do here? YOU’RE IN CATERING! YOU DON’T THINK I HAVEN’T BEEN WATCHING YOU!? OH YES! I’VE BEEN WATCHING YOU THE LAST FEW YEARS. Kurt Angle walks in - OH OH OH KURT’S IN HERE, KURTIE NEEDS A PLACE TO SEAT. Honey, you’re using the oldest trick in the book - the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. YOU’RE A SENIOR CITIZEN SCHOOLGIRL MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
Caterer - I cook for Kurt AND 50 OTHER WRESTLERS. NOW CAN I GO BACK TO MY TRAILER AND MAKE MY POTROAST!
Karen - YOUR TACO TUESDAY SUCKS!
Karen - JOLENE THE SEAMSTRESS - How many years has it been? SIX YEARS watching you rub your grubby hands up and down up and down my ex’s body - PLAYING HIM LIKE A PIANO!
Jolene - IT’S MY JOB!
Karen - Measuring his inseam…doesn’t take long - we both know that. TAKE YOUR DANCING FINGERS OUTTA MY RING!
Karen - Then we have Miss Dressmaker - MISS FUNBAGS HERSELF JACKED UP TO HER CHIN. Is it a coincidence that you and Kurt arrived here at the same time!?
Dressmaker - Given that we both are employed by TNA and showed up to EARN our paychecks, I don’t find it odd.
Karen - YOU WERE BOTH IN THE SAME GYM TODAY!
Dressmaker - Did you and your source find the other 25 WRESTLERS THERE TOO!?
Karen - LOOK AT ME - CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!
Dressmaker - Whatever. (bends over)
Karen - My goodness.
Karen - Then there’s rice and beans - THE BURRITO SISTERS! HOT AND SPICY! You wouldn’t consider doing the American thing would you!? HE’S AN AMERICAN HERO!
Sarita - Take your head out of your asshole and play closer attention to Impact - WE ARE MEXICAN AMERICA. WE DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU GRINGO STUPIDOS AND THAT INCLUDES YOUR HUSBAND KURT!
Karen - Goodness gracious, then we’ve got the whiny Madison Rayne and Tara. It isn’t a coincidence that you and my ex-husband are THREE FORMER EX-TNA WORLD CHAMPIONS. RIDING UP AND DOWN THE RIDE, HAVING THAT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT…Bet you think you have a lot in common with him!?
Madison - THIS ONE DOES THINK SHE’S SOMEONE SPECIAL - I’VE BEEN TELLING HER THAT FOR 3 WEEKS. I WOULDN’T PUT IT PAST HER TO LAY DOWN FOR A OLYMPIC HERO - JUST BETWEEN US, SHE’S A DIRTY SLUT! You have something to say!? (Tara flips her off) I wouldn’t put it past her to sleep with Jeff either!
Karen - Velvet, on a scale of 1 to 10 - I’m a ten, you’re a 6.5 maybe. Being every man’s dream and every woman’s nightmare - I can see where you’re coming from. You’ve gone as far as you’re ever gonna go in TNA, but if you could land yourself on the arm of Kurt Angle - IMAGINE HOW THAT WOULD CATAPULT YOU TO THE TOP. You’re at the end of your velvet rope and you’ve decided to swing on someone else’s. All you had to do was lay down, and I’VE HEARD YOU’RE GOOD AT IT!
Winter - YOU’D BETTER RING THE BELL!
Taz - Winter’s obviously doing something. Looks like she’s been putting something in Angelina’s beverages.
Taz - When Winter came here to TNA, it was almost like she had an obsession with Angelina.
Taz - Angelina’s eyes are just empty.
Taz - Angelina’s not of her own mind or body.
Tenay - ANGELINA’S USING THE CHOKE - THE SAME ONE WINTER’S BEEN USING!
Taz - Angelina’s whacked out of her mind.
Morgan - I’VE BUSTED MY ASS MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE!
Tenay - We’re in the middle of a movement in TNA.
Hernandez - DROP THE COLORS, HOLMES!
Antioquia - THAT’S HOW YOU’RE GONNA SALUTE OUR FLAG! NEXT WEEK IN THE IMPACT ZONE, ESE, WE’RE GONNA CELEBRATE THE GREATEST MEXICAN HISTORY EVER - CINCO DE MAYO! AND YOU WILL SALUTE OUR FLAG!
Steiner - THIS IS MY BACKSWING! DON’T TALK DURING MY BACKSWING! WHY’D I ATTACK MORGAN!? WHY’S THE SUNRISE AND FALL!? I ATTACKED HIM CUZ HE WAS THERE. I JUMPED HIM CUZ I WANTED TO. WHY DO I NEED A REASON!? HE’S LOOKING FOR ME!? I’M NOT A HARD MAN TO FIND! I’m here - you go tell him. SCREW HIM AND GET OUTTA HERE!
Steiner - YOU STUPID PUNK SON OF A BITCH! YOU WANT ME, COME AND GET ME! YOU’LL NEVER BE THE ONE! NEVER! YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!
Steiner - I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I SAID I WAS SORRY! (Morgan beats him up more)
Tenay - Hogan and Bischoff’s ace in the hole - Gunner!
Tenay - Immortal’s been relying on Gunner.
Taz - Gunner has an extensive military background.
Taz - LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS MAN’S QUADS!
Taz - I hope Anderson had insurance with glass coverage on that custom ride, cuz he’s gonna need it.
Sting - I don’t know who had the truck out there - but your lights weren’t on, but the windows are down. ANDERSON, YOU’RE TRYING TO DERAIL ME - IT’S LIKE A BAD GAME OF HIDE AND GO SEEK. TAG, YOU’RE IT! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND WE’LL TRY TO HASH THIS OUT.
Anderson - DID YOU SMASH THE WINDOWS OUT OF MY TRUCK!?
Sting - No?
Anderson - SO YOU DIDN’T SMASH EVERY SINGLE WINDOW!?
Sting - No?
Anderson - SO THE VIDEO I JUST SAW AS A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION!?
Sting - Yeah.
Anderson - DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT!?
Sting - YES IT WAS ME!
Anderson - All right then - I’ll get them replaced. I’M RICH, BIATCH! I CALLED YA A BIATCH! YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES WITH ME EVERY WEEK!? I’LL ONE UP YOU EVERY TIME! See, you’ve got the power to make it go away. You’ve got the authority - someone at the network has let you pick your opponent. WELL THEN LET’S DO IT. LET’S NOT WAIT! LET’S DO IT RIGHT HERE TONIGHT ON IMPACT!
RVD - Sting, someone gives me a fair shot here and it’s you. Look, I appreciate you giving me a shot at MY title, I appreciate that. You’re a standup guy. Thank you. As much as the TNA Title means to me, and as much of a dirty player as we know this asshole is, if the networks want ratings, they’re not taking me out of contendership. I’m fine with you doing what you need to do to SHUT THIS GUY UP!
Anderson - YOU JUST GOT THE BLESSING FROM ROB-VAN-DAM! What’s it gonna be boy!? YES OR NO!?
Sting - LET’S DO IT TONIGHT - YOU AND ME FOR THE WORLD TITLE! (MIDI Child hits)
Hogan - STINGER, STINGER! You’re trying to find your way so hard out there brother, and I love how you’re using that clause the execs gave you and how you’re handing out title shots one after another - last week RVD, this week Mr. Anderson - I guess we can say you’re the greatest fighting champion we’ve ever had! AND IF A FIGHT IS WHAT YOU WANT, THEN A FIGHT IS WHAT YOU’RE GONNA GET. THAT LITTLE TITLE MATCH THAT YOU BOOKED IS NOW GONNA BE A THREE WAY BROTHER. CUZ YOU HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO NAME YOUR OPPONENT, BUT SO DO I - ANDERSON, YOU’RE NOT WALKING OUT AS TNA CHAMPION, AND STINGER, YOU’RE DEFINTIELY NOT. CUZ IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, THE NEW TNA WORLD CHAMPION IS GONNA BE BULLY RAY BROTHER! SHOWTIME!
Joe - The impact I’ve made in this company will never be duplicated. Crimson has never been pinned or tapped - but he’s never been in the ring with me, and he’s gonna find out that when you face Joe in TNA - YOU LOSE!
Tenay - FROM JUNE OF 2005 UNTIL DECEMBER OF 2006, NO ONE IN TNA DEFEATED SAMOA JOE!
Tenay - JOE COULD BREAK THE STREAK!
One girl - MUSCLE BUSTER! MUSCLE BUSTER!
Anderson - HERE WE GO AGAIN - INSTEAD OF GETTING A REMATCH, I GET A 3-WAY. AM I GONNA WHINE AND COMPLAIN!? I’M GONNA GO OUT THERE AND MAKE CHICKEN SALAD OUTTA CHICKEN SHIT! GET THE OUTTA HERE!
Kurt - Karen’s making an ass out of herself. She’s a moronic. Karen’s gonna meet this girl…maybe even next week. I cannot wait to see the look on Karen’s face. When she sees her, she’s gonna shit her pants!
Mickie - When I first got in this business 12 years ago, the only thing I wanted, that I truly desired - was to go down in history as the greatest women’s WRESTLER of all time. Know what I want most of all, right now? I want to dedicate this TNA Knockouts title to everyone of you! To my fans! Who have stood by me, who have loved me through it all! IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I’M STANDING HERE NOW. It is because of you that all of us can come out here night after night and live OUR dreams! IT IS YOU WHO MAKE OUR DREAMS A REALITY! Because of that, I love and thank you!
Ray - BULLY RAY - TNA WORLD CHAMPION. THAT WOULD PISS THE WRESTLING WORLD OFF! ME AS THEIR WORLD CHAMPION. AND TELL ME WHY I CAN’T DO IT!? I WOULD TRADE IN ALL 23 OF MY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES FOR ONE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! MOSTLY BECAUSE I HAD TO TEAM WITH THAT SLACKER FOR 15 YEARS. NOW I GET TO BEAT UP AN ASSHOLE AND A GUY WITH PAINT ON HIS FACE AND GET MY MOMENT TO BE THE MAN THAT REPRESENTS THIS COMPANY. BULLY RAY - TNA WORLD CHAMPION. MY GOD, I LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT!
Anderson - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FROM GREEN BAY WISCONSIN! MISSTTTTEERRRR ANDERSON! ANDERSON!
Taz - He gets another shot, and he still whines.
Tenay - IT’S NOT EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS - HE WANTS A ONE ON ONE SHOT!
JB - Challenger number 1 - MR. AN-DER-SON!
(after a shot with the pipe)Ray - THAT WAS FOR HOGAN!
Ray - YOU SHOULD BE ADDRESSING ME AS TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. WHAT BUSINESS DID AJ HAVE TO COME TO THAT RING!? HE WASN’T IN THAT MATCH. IT WAS A 3-WAY, NOT A 4-WAY! NOW I’LL TAKE IT OUT ON AJ! You think I took it out on him before? HE COST ME THE WORLD TITLE. I WON’T BE SO NICE ANYMORE.
Guy - Didn’t you have it coming? You tried to end his career?
Ray - SO!? HE SHOWED UP AT LOCKDOWN AND GOT HIS PAYBACK! IT WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM. HE COST ME THE TITLE AND NOW HE HAS TO SLEEP WITH ONE OPEN. NEXT TIME, NO TABLE - CONCRETE. BAD THINGS, AJ STYLES. DELIVER THE MESSAGE! Tell him that it wouldn’t be in his or his family’s best interests to show up next week. WHAT CAN HE POSSIBLY DO TO ME!? I’M A 300 POUND WRECKING MACHINE. I’M A FRICKING WARRIOR. I’VE BEEN THROUGH EVERYTHING. The golden boy in TNA is picking the right with the wrong grizzly!
AJ - HE INTENDED TO END MY CAREER! I’VE GOTTA PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE FOR MY KIDS! SEE WHAT I’M SAYING MAN!? YOU GOT KIDS, YOU KNOW!?
Steiner - Morgan, you’re division 3 - I’m division 1. I’M A WRESTLER, YOU WERE A BASKETBALL PLAYER! WHO’S AFRAID OF A BASKETBALL PLAYER!? OR BADMINTON!? NEXT WEEK MORGAN, YOUR ASS IS GONNA BE MINE. YOU’RE A SORRY SON OF A BITCH. I RAN OUT OF TIME AND I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS AGAIN!
Karen - I GATHERED ALL THE TNA HOS! JEFF!
Jeff - THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!
Karen - I’VE GOT A HIT OUT ON ME! I’M A MOM OF 5!
Velvet - HOW DARE SHE CALL ME A SLUT!? AND MY FORMER TAG TEAM PARTNER BEATS ME WITH A CHOKE! FIRST, SHE HIT ME WITH MY FINISHER ON A CHAIR - AND I FORGIVE HER! I’M TIRED OF BEING MAD ALL THE TIME AND I’M SURE YOU’RE ALL TIRED OF ME YELLING ALL THE TIME!
Jeff - THINK IN YOUR PAST!
Karen - I DON’T HAVE ANY ENEMIES - THEY’RE ALL JEALOUS BITCHES! YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHO IT IS!
Jeff - IT’S A BUNCH OF CRAP!
Taz - She’s got the umbrella for falling horse poop.
Tenay - Kurt says he’s hiring a mistress for business reasons, know anything about it?
Taz - I’m not into his love life. They can both fit under the umbrella!
Karen - MY CRAZY EX-HUSBAND HAS HIRED A MISSTRESS SLUT TO PUT A HIT OUT ON ME, SO BEFORE THAT HAPPENS, WE’RE GONNA NIP THIS IN THE BUD. I HAVE A LIST OF SUSPECTS. I think we’re gonna start… right here. WITH YOU, GRANDMA! What do you do here? YOU’RE IN CATERING! YOU DON’T THINK I HAVEN’T BEEN WATCHING YOU!? OH YES! I’VE BEEN WATCHING YOU THE LAST FEW YEARS. Kurt Angle walks in - OH OH OH KURT’S IN HERE, KURTIE NEEDS A PLACE TO SEAT. Honey, you’re using the oldest trick in the book - the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. YOU’RE A SENIOR CITIZEN SCHOOLGIRL MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
Caterer - I cook for Kurt AND 50 OTHER WRESTLERS. NOW CAN I GO BACK TO MY TRAILER AND MAKE MY POTROAST!
Karen - YOUR TACO TUESDAY SUCKS!
Karen - JOLENE THE SEAMSTRESS - How many years has it been? SIX YEARS watching you rub your grubby hands up and down up and down my ex’s body - PLAYING HIM LIKE A PIANO!
Jolene - IT’S MY JOB!
Karen - Measuring his inseam…doesn’t take long - we both know that. TAKE YOUR DANCING FINGERS OUTTA MY RING!
Karen - Then we have Miss Dressmaker - MISS FUNBAGS HERSELF JACKED UP TO HER CHIN. Is it a coincidence that you and Kurt arrived here at the same time!?
Dressmaker - Given that we both are employed by TNA and showed up to EARN our paychecks, I don’t find it odd.
Karen - YOU WERE BOTH IN THE SAME GYM TODAY!
Dressmaker - Did you and your source find the other 25 WRESTLERS THERE TOO!?
Karen - LOOK AT ME - CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!
Dressmaker - Whatever. (bends over)
Karen - My goodness.
Karen - Then there’s rice and beans - THE BURRITO SISTERS! HOT AND SPICY! You wouldn’t consider doing the American thing would you!? HE’S AN AMERICAN HERO!
Sarita - Take your head out of your asshole and play closer attention to Impact - WE ARE MEXICAN AMERICA. WE DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU GRINGO STUPIDOS AND THAT INCLUDES YOUR HUSBAND KURT!
Karen - Goodness gracious, then we’ve got the whiny Madison Rayne and Tara. It isn’t a coincidence that you and my ex-husband are THREE FORMER EX-TNA WORLD CHAMPIONS. RIDING UP AND DOWN THE RIDE, HAVING THAT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT…Bet you think you have a lot in common with him!?
Madison - THIS ONE DOES THINK SHE’S SOMEONE SPECIAL - I’VE BEEN TELLING HER THAT FOR 3 WEEKS. I WOULDN’T PUT IT PAST HER TO LAY DOWN FOR A OLYMPIC HERO - JUST BETWEEN US, SHE’S A DIRTY SLUT! You have something to say!? (Tara flips her off) I wouldn’t put it past her to sleep with Jeff either!
Karen - Velvet, on a scale of 1 to 10 - I’m a ten, you’re a 6.5 maybe. Being every man’s dream and every woman’s nightmare - I can see where you’re coming from. You’ve gone as far as you’re ever gonna go in TNA, but if you could land yourself on the arm of Kurt Angle - IMAGINE HOW THAT WOULD CATAPULT YOU TO THE TOP. You’re at the end of your velvet rope and you’ve decided to swing on someone else’s. All you had to do was lay down, and I’VE HEARD YOU’RE GOOD AT IT!
Winter - YOU’D BETTER RING THE BELL!
Taz - Winter’s obviously doing something. Looks like she’s been putting something in Angelina’s beverages.
Taz - When Winter came here to TNA, it was almost like she had an obsession with Angelina.
Taz - Angelina’s eyes are just empty.
Taz - Angelina’s not of her own mind or body.
Tenay - ANGELINA’S USING THE CHOKE - THE SAME ONE WINTER’S BEEN USING!
Taz - Angelina’s whacked out of her mind.
Morgan - I’VE BUSTED MY ASS MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE!
Tenay - We’re in the middle of a movement in TNA.
Hernandez - DROP THE COLORS, HOLMES!
Antioquia - THAT’S HOW YOU’RE GONNA SALUTE OUR FLAG! NEXT WEEK IN THE IMPACT ZONE, ESE, WE’RE GONNA CELEBRATE THE GREATEST MEXICAN HISTORY EVER - CINCO DE MAYO! AND YOU WILL SALUTE OUR FLAG!
Steiner - THIS IS MY BACKSWING! DON’T TALK DURING MY BACKSWING! WHY’D I ATTACK MORGAN!? WHY’S THE SUNRISE AND FALL!? I ATTACKED HIM CUZ HE WAS THERE. I JUMPED HIM CUZ I WANTED TO. WHY DO I NEED A REASON!? HE’S LOOKING FOR ME!? I’M NOT A HARD MAN TO FIND! I’m here - you go tell him. SCREW HIM AND GET OUTTA HERE!
Steiner - YOU STUPID PUNK SON OF A BITCH! YOU WANT ME, COME AND GET ME! YOU’LL NEVER BE THE ONE! NEVER! YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!
Steiner - I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I SAID I WAS SORRY! (Morgan beats him up more)
Tenay - Hogan and Bischoff’s ace in the hole - Gunner!
Tenay - Immortal’s been relying on Gunner.
Taz - Gunner has an extensive military background.
Taz - LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS MAN’S QUADS!
Taz - I hope Anderson had insurance with glass coverage on that custom ride, cuz he’s gonna need it.
Sting - I don’t know who had the truck out there - but your lights weren’t on, but the windows are down. ANDERSON, YOU’RE TRYING TO DERAIL ME - IT’S LIKE A BAD GAME OF HIDE AND GO SEEK. TAG, YOU’RE IT! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND WE’LL TRY TO HASH THIS OUT.
Anderson - DID YOU SMASH THE WINDOWS OUT OF MY TRUCK!?
Sting - No?
Anderson - SO YOU DIDN’T SMASH EVERY SINGLE WINDOW!?
Sting - No?
Anderson - SO THE VIDEO I JUST SAW AS A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION!?
Sting - Yeah.
Anderson - DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT!?
Sting - YES IT WAS ME!
Anderson - All right then - I’ll get them replaced. I’M RICH, BIATCH! I CALLED YA A BIATCH! YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES WITH ME EVERY WEEK!? I’LL ONE UP YOU EVERY TIME! See, you’ve got the power to make it go away. You’ve got the authority - someone at the network has let you pick your opponent. WELL THEN LET’S DO IT. LET’S NOT WAIT! LET’S DO IT RIGHT HERE TONIGHT ON IMPACT!
RVD - Sting, someone gives me a fair shot here and it’s you. Look, I appreciate you giving me a shot at MY title, I appreciate that. You’re a standup guy. Thank you. As much as the TNA Title means to me, and as much of a dirty player as we know this asshole is, if the networks want ratings, they’re not taking me out of contendership. I’m fine with you doing what you need to do to SHUT THIS GUY UP!
Anderson - YOU JUST GOT THE BLESSING FROM ROB-VAN-DAM! What’s it gonna be boy!? YES OR NO!?
Sting - LET’S DO IT TONIGHT - YOU AND ME FOR THE WORLD TITLE! (MIDI Child hits)
Hogan - STINGER, STINGER! You’re trying to find your way so hard out there brother, and I love how you’re using that clause the execs gave you and how you’re handing out title shots one after another - last week RVD, this week Mr. Anderson - I guess we can say you’re the greatest fighting champion we’ve ever had! AND IF A FIGHT IS WHAT YOU WANT, THEN A FIGHT IS WHAT YOU’RE GONNA GET. THAT LITTLE TITLE MATCH THAT YOU BOOKED IS NOW GONNA BE A THREE WAY BROTHER. CUZ YOU HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO NAME YOUR OPPONENT, BUT SO DO I - ANDERSON, YOU’RE NOT WALKING OUT AS TNA CHAMPION, AND STINGER, YOU’RE DEFINTIELY NOT. CUZ IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, THE NEW TNA WORLD CHAMPION IS GONNA BE BULLY RAY BROTHER! SHOWTIME!
Joe - The impact I’ve made in this company will never be duplicated. Crimson has never been pinned or tapped - but he’s never been in the ring with me, and he’s gonna find out that when you face Joe in TNA - YOU LOSE!
Tenay - FROM JUNE OF 2005 UNTIL DECEMBER OF 2006, NO ONE IN TNA DEFEATED SAMOA JOE!
Tenay - JOE COULD BREAK THE STREAK!
One girl - MUSCLE BUSTER! MUSCLE BUSTER!
Anderson - HERE WE GO AGAIN - INSTEAD OF GETTING A REMATCH, I GET A 3-WAY. AM I GONNA WHINE AND COMPLAIN!? I’M GONNA GO OUT THERE AND MAKE CHICKEN SALAD OUTTA CHICKEN SHIT! GET THE
OUTTA HERE!Kurt - Karen’s making an ass out of herself. She’s a moronic. Karen’s gonna meet this girl…maybe even next week. I cannot wait to see the look on Karen’s face. When she sees her, she’s gonna shit her pants!
Mickie - When I first got in this business 12 years ago, the only thing I wanted, that I truly desired - was to go down in history as the greatest women’s WRESTLER of all time. Know what I want most of all, right now? I want to dedicate this TNA Knockouts title to everyone of you! To my fans! Who have stood by me, who have loved me through it all! IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I’M STANDING HERE NOW. It is because of you that all of us can come out here night after night and live OUR dreams! IT IS YOU WHO MAKE OUR DREAMS A REALITY! Because of that, I love and thank you!
Ray - BULLY RAY - TNA WORLD CHAMPION. THAT WOULD PISS THE WRESTLING WORLD OFF! ME AS THEIR WORLD CHAMPION. AND TELL ME WHY I CAN’T DO IT!? I WOULD TRADE IN ALL 23 OF MY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES FOR ONE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! MOSTLY BECAUSE I HAD TO TEAM WITH THAT SLACKER FOR 15 YEARS. NOW I GET TO BEAT UP AN ASSHOLE AND A GUY WITH PAINT ON HIS FACE AND GET MY MOMENT TO BE THE MAN THAT REPRESENTS THIS COMPANY. BULLY RAY - TNA WORLD CHAMPION. MY GOD, I LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT!
Anderson - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FROM GREEN BAY WISCONSIN! MISSTTTTEERRRR ANDERSON! ANDERSON!
Taz - He gets another shot, and he still whines.
Tenay - IT’S NOT EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS - HE WANTS A ONE ON ONE SHOT!
JB - Challenger number 1 - MR. AN-DER-SON!
(after a shot with the pipe)Ray - THAT WAS FOR HOGAN!
Ray - YOU SHOULD BE ADDRESSING ME AS TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. WHAT BUSINESS DID AJ HAVE TO COME TO THAT RING!? HE WASN’T IN THAT MATCH. IT WAS A 3-WAY, NOT A 4-WAY! NOW I’LL TAKE IT OUT ON AJ! You think I took it out on him before? HE COST ME THE WORLD TITLE. I WON’T BE SO NICE ANYMORE.
Guy - Didn’t you have it coming? You tried to end his career?
Ray - SO!? HE SHOWED UP AT LOCKDOWN AND GOT HIS PAYBACK! IT WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM. HE COST ME THE TITLE AND NOW HE HAS TO SLEEP WITH ONE OPEN. NEXT TIME, NO TABLE - CONCRETE. BAD THINGS, AJ STYLES. DELIVER THE MESSAGE! Tell him that it wouldn’t be in his or his family’s best interests to show up next week. WHAT CAN HE POSSIBLY DO TO ME!? I’M A 300 POUND WRECKING MACHINE. I’M A FRICKING WARRIOR. I’VE BEEN THROUGH EVERYTHING. The golden boy in TNA is picking the right with the wrong grizzly!
AJ - HE INTENDED TO END MY CAREER! I’VE GOTTA PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE FOR MY KIDS! SEE WHAT I’M SAYING MAN!? YOU GOT KIDS, YOU KNOW!?
Steiner - Morgan, you’re division 3 - I’m division 1. I’M A WRESTLER, YOU WERE A BASKETBALL PLAYER! WHO’S AFRAID OF A BASKETBALL PLAYER!? OR BADMINTON!? NEXT WEEK MORGAN, YOUR ASS IS GONNA BE MINE. YOU’RE A SORRY SON OF A BITCH. I RAN OUT OF TIME AND I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS AGAIN!
Karen - I GATHERED ALL THE TNA HOS! JEFF!
Jeff - THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!
Karen - I’VE GOT A HIT OUT ON ME! I’M A MOM OF 5!
Velvet - HOW DARE SHE CALL ME A SLUT!? AND MY FORMER TAG TEAM PARTNER BEATS ME WITH A CHOKE! FIRST, SHE HIT ME WITH MY FINISHER ON A CHAIR - AND I FORGIVE HER! I’M TIRED OF BEING MAD ALL THE TIME AND I’M SURE YOU’RE ALL TIRED OF ME YELLING ALL THE TIME!
Jeff - THINK IN YOUR PAST!
Karen - I DON’T HAVE ANY ENEMIES - THEY’RE ALL JEALOUS BITCHES! YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHO IT IS!
Jeff - IT’S A BUNCH OF CRAP!
I really can't tell what WWE's doing with Ryder.
They're not ignorant to the internet. Their entire company has a HUGE presence on Twitter and FB now, so they know that Ryder's blowing up behind the scenes, yet they continue to do nothing with him..
..but on the other hand, he's probably one of their least used/lowest paid talents on the roster, but he's getting out there and making a name for himself, generating ratings and revenue via merchandise sales.
So is this a case of them ignoring fans and wanting their talent to get over on their own terms, or are they purposely keeping him off TV to get the fans to rally harder and generate more interest?
They're not ignorant to the internet. Their entire company has a HUGE presence on Twitter and FB now, so they know that Ryder's blowing up behind the scenes, yet they continue to do nothing with him..
..but on the other hand, he's probably one of their least used/lowest paid talents on the roster, but he's getting out there and making a name for himself, generating ratings and revenue via merchandise sales.
So is this a case of them ignoring fans and wanting their talent to get over on their own terms, or are they purposely keeping him off TV to get the fans to rally harder and generate more interest?
[quote name='Scorch']So is this a case of them ignoring fans and wanting their talent to get over on their own terms, or are they purposely keeping him off TV to get the fans to rally harder and generate more interest?[/QUOTE]
It's the former. The latter is giving them far too much credit.
It's the former. The latter is giving them far too much credit.
Demolition Man
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[quote name='neocisco']Between their editing, the way they cut to different cameras during matches and out-of-nowhere crowd shots I'm convinced TNA hired some of WCW's editors and directors. This is not a compliment.[/QUOTE]
IIRC current TNA producer Keith Mitchell was also a producer for WCW.
IIRC current TNA producer Keith Mitchell was also a producer for WCW.
mykevermin
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[quote name='TheRock88']LOL at the Ryder fact of the week. Wonder if WWE might get mad at him for pointing that out.[/QUOTE]
I have the same thought.
I have the same thought.
basilofbkrst
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In honor of Mick wanting to attend the birthday of The Rock I give you the rise and fall of The Rock and Sock Connection:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDZIJjxhyBc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDZIJjxhyBc&feature=related
Here's a nice way to let someone know that they're released:
(minor spoiler on a Divas match on SmackDown tonight .. I'll spoiler it even though I know no one would care)
Bye bye, Layla (can't imagine them firing McCool, what with her being married to the Undertaker and all)
(minor spoiler on a Divas match on SmackDown tonight .. I'll spoiler it even though I know no one would care)
Bye bye, Layla (can't imagine them firing McCool, what with her being married to the Undertaker and all)
[quote name='Scorch']Here's a nice way to let someone know that they're released:
(minor spoiler on a Divas match on SmackDown tonight .. I'll spoiler it even though I know no one would care)
[/QUOTE]
Thought something was off
when I saw it.
(minor spoiler on a Divas match on SmackDown tonight .. I'll spoiler it even though I know no one would care)
Bye bye, Layla (can't imagine them firing McCool, what with her being married to the Undertaker and all)
Thought something was off
(the dubbing)
JaytheGamefan
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Re: the spoiler -
No one's getting fired - McCool's getting promoted to Raw, and 'Taker will apparently be coming back on the Raw roster as well.
http://www.prowrestling.net/artman/publish/WWE/article10018206.shtml
A shareholder asked Vince if he would consider buying TNA.
A shareholder asked Vince if he would consider buying TNA.
ShinSolidus
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Edit: Wups! I messed up!
guyver2077
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Got me some Raw tix... hopefully its decent. It will be a nice appetizer for Mania next yeat
Dr. Venkman
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I didn't see a Dolph or Venkman figure in this latest episode of Z True Long Island Story. 
Dr. Venkman
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Ah, that was kinda hard to spot. Thank you. For some dumb reason half the fun of these videos is looking for them lol
Smackdown wasn't a bad show, as it seemed on par with the rest of the average SD shows of late. What's with the in' brand t-shirts after the draft? Just in case the idiots didn't realize Sheamus was on SD now, you couldn't just say "Sheamus has been drafted to Smackdown!"? We need a ing visual representation? FFS.
in' brand t-shirts after the draft? Just in case the idiots didn't realize Sheamus was on SD now, you couldn't just say "Sheamus has been drafted to Smackdown!"? We need a ing visual representation? FFS.basilofbkrst
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Mick might not get to wish Rock happy birthday but he says on Twitter he's getting a big donation from Vince. That's something right?
Dr. Venkman
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[quote name='basilofbkrst']Mick might not get to wish Rock happy birthday but he says on Twitter he's getting a big donation from Vince. That's something right?[/QUOTE]
God that makes for a terrible mental image.
God that makes for a terrible mental image.
[quote name='Clak']Man the divas matches aren't what they once were back in the 90s.[/QUOTE]
I think Miss USA on Tough Enough (along with a good number of the other female contestants) says it all about "Divas" in wrestling today. Its all a bunch of pretty girls who wanna do what they see on TV, and even then its tenuous. How can you say you have a passion for the business when you can't: A) name a match other than (what was it again?) Alicia Fox vs. Melina? B) start getting yourself in shape when you know you're starting a wrestling school/competition. They simply don't have the passion.
Don 't get me wrong there are female wrestlers that are in it for more than just looking pretty and the fame but they're pretty few and far between. Worse yet, none of the major companies are interested in any women other than the ones who can look good in a skimpy outfit.
Now, it remains to be seen if Awesome Kong/Kharma is the beginning of a shift in female wrestling at least for the WWE but for right now I'll stand by my assertion that the companies aren't interested in any wrestlers that aren't young and pretty.
I think Miss USA on Tough Enough (along with a good number of the other female contestants) says it all about "Divas" in wrestling today. Its all a bunch of pretty girls who wanna do what they see on TV, and even then its tenuous. How can you say you have a passion for the business when you can't: A) name a match other than (what was it again?) Alicia Fox vs. Melina? B) start getting yourself in shape when you know you're starting a wrestling school/competition. They simply don't have the passion.
Don 't get me wrong there are female wrestlers that are in it for more than just looking pretty and the fame but they're pretty few and far between. Worse yet, none of the major companies are interested in any women other than the ones who can look good in a skimpy outfit.
Now, it remains to be seen if Awesome Kong/Kharma is the beginning of a shift in female wrestling at least for the WWE but for right now I'll stand by my assertion that the companies aren't interested in any wrestlers that aren't young and pretty.
- Status
bread's done