This wrestling thread was created on Alexandra York's supercomputer. DO YA GET IT?

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My favorite part of this giant homecoming celebration is that we're not going to see him again until about January.
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Well if tonight has taught us anything its that even the Rock's return can jump the shark.[/QUOTE]

Anything WWE jumps the shark
 
err..why did it look like Rock was waiting for someone at the end there...he dropped into his Rock Bottom stance.
 
Wow, if I would have known this was just going to be 2 hours and 20 minutes of everyone on Rock's dick, I would have watched the Hawks/Bulls game.
 
[quote name='Scorch']Well, that was a gigantic waste of time.[/QUOTE]

It sold tickets.

Plus we all sat and watched it.

Proof that people would rather just see the Rock instead of an actual wrestling show.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']It sold tickets.

Plus we all sat and watched it.

Proof that people would rather just see the Rock instead of an actual wrestling show.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it's not like anyone has pointed out how awful WWE is. Oh, wait...

Good money says that pretty much everyone will still be back next week for their regularly scheduled serving of crap.
 
[quote name='neocisco']Yeah, it's not like anyone has pointed out how awful WWE is. Oh, wait...

Good money says that pretty much everyone will still be back next week for their regularly scheduled serving of crap.[/QUOTE]

Christain won a mother fucking title ok? That is a beam of hope that will not be forgotten!
 
Even when people hate things they still like to watch and bitch about it, so Vince still has that.
 
Very fun show overall minus all the LOOK AT HOW GREAT WE ARE patronizing bullshit video packages, especially using 9/11 NUMEROUS TIMES to put over how great they were for doing SD two days later. Sure, the timing worked given Bin Laden's death to a degree, but it was still a bit much. Then they did the anti-bullying stuff, THEN they had a Did You Know graphic about how they UNITED the world after 9/11. I was astonished they didn't air 5,000 Make A Wish videos like they did during Linda's campaign to further send a finger down my throat and cause my pre-Raw snaking of Twizzlers and ginger ale to spew forth.

Rock beating up Cole got a huge pop and him kissing Mae Young was hilarious - dude's making tons of money, is in the biggest movie of the year so far, and still doesn't balk at that. I loved that Christian got a bit of a rub from the Rock as well. Mason Ryan-Kane put Mason over super-strong. It's a shame they're basically wasting this push on a guy who can't talk or work though. KHARMA ruled by beating up Maryse and making Kelly fear her for as long as she, KHARMA, chooses to make her. Awesome.

Truth's stuff was effective at getting him over as a crazed guy, but the Paydirt on the steel looked awful. Miz-Cena was fantastic, although Miz did come off a bit weak in it. Alberto absolutely sucked on commentary. I loved his Sonny Crockett garb, but he was just terrible - J.R. fed him easy questions and he just had nothing to say. It looks like he'll be feuding with Rey again, which was great, but it's already been done - they've done EVERYTHING with that feud there is to do unless it's building to Alberto actually ending Rey's WWE career. Vince's interaction with Rock was interesting, and the video package was amazing - although man has Vince aged 30 years in the past ten.

Screens -















E+C then and now.










Ace and Gary...


ALBERTO DEL CROCKETT


Quotes -

Crowd - ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!
Rock - FINALLY! THE ROCK HAS COME BACK
Crowd - TO MIAMI!
Rock - HOME! Before we get started, I’ve got one thing to say! WE GOT ‘IM! To our men and women, thank you to the proud men and women who continuously fight for our great country every day and every night. My family are proud members of the military - I AM DAMN PROUD OF THEM AND TO BE AN AMERICAN! I wanna lead everyone, Miami, America, join me - I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HOME! IT ALL STARTED HERE FOR THE ROCK - WHEN THE ROCK BURST OUT OF THE WOMB, THEY HELD THE BABY ROCK AND SAID HE’S DAMN WELL NAMED JOHNSON! Rock went to afro, with an afro and a stache - looking like the lead singer of Menudo. YOU LAUGH, BUT THAT FACE DEVOURED MORE PIE THAN KING KONG BUNDY AT A POLISH BAKERY! The Rocky chants ON PIE! Then the Rock on to college. THE ROCK ONTO THE U! NUMBER 94 ON THE FIELD AND NUMBER 1 IN YOUR HEARTS, BROUGHT THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP TO THE GREAT CITY OF MIAMI! The Rock electiried the Orange Bowl, then onto the WWE WHERE THE ROCK BECAME THE PIE-EATING, EYEBROW-RAISING, I’M DONE WITH THE TALKING AND READY TO PARTY ALL OVER SOUTH BEACH IF YOU SMELLLL (GM dings)
Cole - CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!
Rock - WOAH WOAH WOAH! Cole, the Rock can’t hear you. HAVE THE NERVE TO INTERRUPT THE ROCK ON HIS BIRTHDAY!? Why don’t you show some class, if you wanna read a message, then come in here and read it to the Rock’s face?
Cole - I decline - I’ll stay right here. AND I QUOTE!
Rock - I see. Cole, if you’re scared of the Rock, then the Rock understands that. But you won at ‘Mania, last night at Extreme Rules, so you must consider yourself some sort of tough guy. Okay. You could be tough, or you can be the voice of WWE and read the message to the Rock’s face. You can be a man, or you can sit in your glass house looking like a drunk hobbit jackbag bitch!
Cole - Ya know what, Rock, I don’t even know what jackbag means! ,MICHAEL COLE ISN’T CARED OF ANYTHING! I’m not the same person you used to know - the guy you used to throw T-shirts on. I’M A MAN. AND I’M A WINNER! AND WHAT I DO IS ASSOCIATE WITH WINNERS. WHAT’S THE MATTER, MIAMI, YA JEALOUS!? Are you jealous because we got more world championships than anyone in history!? AND WE’RE ABOUT TO ADD ONE MORE! So, you want me to come in there and deliver that message? I WILL, DWAYNE! THE RAW GM DEMANDS AN APOLOGY TONIGHT BECAUSE YOU EMBARRASSED THE GM AT ‘MANIA, AND IF YOU DON’T SAY YOU’RE SORRY, HE’LL SHUT DOWN THE BIRTHDAY PARTY BEFORE IT GETS STARTED. And while we’re at it - I want an apology! I want you, DWAYNE, to say you’re sorry for all the humiliation you’ve put me through over the years. JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY!
Rock - Cole, you’re right. I did disrespect the GM at ‘Mania. And I have disrespected you over the years. So the Rock has one thing to say to you - I’m sorry. Cole, we’re live in Miami. We are live IN FRONT OF THE MILLIONS! OF THE ROCK’S FANS! I’m apologizing to you like a man - you’ll either accept it, or you won’t.
Cole - Thank you, Rock.
Rock - Well Cole, THANK YOU. Cut the Rock’s music - this is the Rock, it’s the Rock’s hometown. It’s the biggest birthday celebration in TV. WELCOME MIAMI’S OWN, PITBULL!
Pitbull - WHAT IT IS WHAT IT AIN’T! Happy birthday, Rock. WE GONNA REPRESENT DADE COUNTY PROUD! 305 TIL I DIE!
LeBron - CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!?
Kimmel - I’m a candy ass- see? My ass is full of candy.
King - Kelly puts the bubbles in my bathtub.
Josh - KELLY IS FROZEN IN THE GAZE OF KHARMA!
Miz - Where have you been?
Riley - IT’S WALL-TO-WALL PEOPLE HERE CUZ OF ROCK’S PARTY.
Miz - THAT’S NO EXCUSE. WHY WEREN’T YOU IN MY CORNER LAST NIGHT!?
Riley - I was drafted to SmackDown.
Miz - YOU ARE SIGNED TO A PERSONAL SERVICES CONTRACT WITH ME. STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND DO WHAT I SAY. After tonight, no one’s gonna talk about the Rock’s birthday - all they’ll talk about is the new WWE Champion!
Walker - Rock, go get some birthday pie.
Rocky - Happy birthday, Mrs. Obama. Sorry I’m so sweaty - I’ve been busy electrifying.
Kozlov - I WROTE MOVIE SCRIPT FOR BIRTHDAY!
Santino - IT MAKES ME FURIOUS WHEN PEOPLE GO TOO FAST!
Khali - YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TOOTH!
Rock - Do you speak? Words? No? Good.
Carell - I am being forced against my will to with Dwayne Johnson a happy birthday.
Josh - JOHN CENA IS A POP ICON!
J.R. - A ONE-FALL MATCH FOR THE WWE TITLE, LIVE FROM MIAMI!
J.R. - The 619 coming to the 305 tonight.
J.R. - Welcome to Raw with…A WELCOME TO RAW TAG TEAM ATTRACTION!
Alberto - THEY TOLD ME I’D BE THE ONLY MEXICAN ON RAW. I don’t want Rey on Raw. I know - he’s a little puppy and he’s following me everywhere!
Alberto - It’s my destiny to be champion - I will be the next WWE Champion.
J.R. - Swagger is one bad sooner!
Dolph - SHE’S OLD!
Rock - You think the Rock isn’t happy seeing Mae on his birthday? Vickie, you can lose all the weight you want, but you’ll never look as good as Mae Young! You think you’ll get one over on the Rock? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Mae, thank you for coming to my birthday. THE ROCK GETS MORE PIE IN A NIGHT THAN YOU GET IN A LIFETIME!
Cena - I’ve brought a gift - The WWE Championship - and you can only get it at WrestleMania. If you want this, you gotta go through me.
Rock - Just. Bring it.
J.R. - How can you not love George Lopez?
J.R. - Kane sees evil and likes it.
King - Kane is evil and twisted.
J.R. - I thought you were describing one of your exes.
King - Well, um…
King - Ryan’s got muscles in places you don’t even have places.
Josh - That’s not the first time you’ve used that line.
King - It’s a good line.
J.R. - Copyright 1999.
Regis - Dwayne Johnson is 39. 39 - THAT’S THE SIZE OF MY ARMS!
Craig Ferguson - Dwayne Johnson, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday because of all the guests who could kill me, you scare me the most. And you smell nice. Like peaches. The stripper - not the fruit.
Josh - Rock’s movie Fast Five had Universal Studios’s biggest opening weekend EVER!
Rock - Everybody have a good time tonight? Have fun tonight? Well before the big finale, I have to tell you all - each of you, thank you for coming out tonight to support me and making this one of the greatest nights in the history of my life. I wanna thank my beautiful family who is here tonight. I wanna thank the WWE. And just as sure as tonight is gonna be the greatest birthday celebration in the history of TV, and just as sure as a proud Hurricane. AND A SON OF MIAMI, I GIVE YOU MY WORD THAT NEXT YEAR’S WRESTLEMANIA, THE PEOPLE’S WRESTLEMANIA WILL BE THE BIGGEST AND GREATEST WRESTLEMANIA OF ALL-TIME! (Vince comes out)
Vince - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROCK! I’d like to thank you for allowing us to celebrate your birthday in Miami. I’d like to also thank you Rock for that day, that night that you came to me and pulled me aside and said I want you to give me an opportunity. And take the WWE to heights never before seen - I’LL DO THINGS NO WWE SUPERSTAR HAS DONE BEFORE AND BY GOD YOU HAVE. THANK YOU FOR THAT! I’d like to thank you for your respect, your passion. Your humanity, and giving this audience the opportunity to say what.
Fans - What.
Vince - Thank you. And I’d like to thank you FOR BEING THE ROCK! On behalf of the WWE organization, we’ve put together a present for you. Of all the thank yous, a heartfelt thank you for coming home.
Mya - Happy birthday dear the Rock…
Rock - My family, Miami, the WWE Universe, everyone backstage, Team Bring It worldwide - I LOVE YOU. IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
 
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[quote name='neocisco']Yeah, it's not like anyone has pointed out how awful WWE is. Oh, wait...[/QUOTE]

And it's not like I'm still watching just because nobody on the internet told me not to. Yeah, I make fun of things when I don't like them but I also make it a point to say something positive about every show and at the end of the day, I'm not the one saying "ugh, this is awful" every single week when I inexplicably continue to tune in. So tonight's Raw was a dud. CZW still exists, so there's always something worse.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']And it's not like I'm still watching just because nobody on the internet told me not to. Yeah, I make fun of things when I don't like them but I also make it a point to say something positive about every show and at the end of the day, I'm not the one saying "ugh, this is awful" every single week when I inexplicably continue to tune in. So tonight's Raw was a dud. CZW still exists, so there's always something worse.[/QUOTE]

Just to clear up any confusion, I don't watch WWE anymore. I'd love to see a few more come to the realization that the vast majority of their programming is a train wreck.

Not to be attacking you, but that's the reason you have for watching Raw? It's not the worst? Gonorrhea isn't the worst STD but I don't want it.

BTW, CZW still exists? Yech.
 
WWE's go America tribute put over George W Bush and Bradshaw more than anyone holding political office the day bin Laden was killed - which was the reason for the cheerleading celebration in the first place.

Absolutely shameful. I'll find something else to do on Mondays. Maybe it's because I'm just to the right of Karl Marx politically, or maybe I can put up with revisionist history in my WCW and ECW videos, but not my politics in such a bald-faced way. But I've never had my intelligence more insulted and felt so disrespected than I was when I watched Raw last night.
 
Raw last night was lots of fun.....I knew this board would be going to shit all over the show though..

Yea yea.. barely any wrestling.. but the atmosphere was epic.
 
[quote name='guyver2077']Raw last night was lots of fun.....I knew this board would be going to shit all over the show though..

Yea yea.. barely any wrestling.. but the atmosphere was epic.[/QUOTE]

Maybe if you were there. On TV... I didn't feel this epic atmosphere. It's obvious why they featured Rock's birthday (ratings?), but I find it hard to understand why they celebrated a 39th birthday. I could understand a 40th, 50th, Sweet 16... but a 39th?!

Is a 39th birthday the new 21st?!
 
[quote name='masked lemon']Mya is smokin hot. She can't sing for shit, but she's smokin hot.[/QUOTE]

This. Her body is still "Woah".
 
[quote name='metaphysicalstyles']Maybe if you were there. On TV... I didn't feel this epic atmosphere. It's obvious why they featured Rock's birthday (ratings?), but I find it hard to understand why they celebrated a 39th birthday. I could understand a 40th, 50th, Sweet 16... but a 39th?!

Is a 39th birthday the new 21st?![/QUOTE]

Yeah, it didn't transfer over well to TV. I can't imagine it was even that good in the arena. I mean, it was probably cool if you were The Rock or his family, but for everyone else, there was nothing there. They could have saved it with some good comedy in the ring, but all we got was Cole in a Celtics jersey.
 
[quote name='benjamouth']The Baron Von Bava Unfrozen Cyborg Nazi Lawyer memorial thread ?[/QUOTE]

FTFY, and that should be ready to go to press.
 
Well until the new topic is made, here's something to chew on.

Sunday’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view event featured 1 hour, 38 minutes and 47 seconds of in-ring action. By comparison, WrestleMania XXVII had 1 hour, 41 minutes and 6 seconds of in-ring action.

eAeL5.jpg
 
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