What is the right age to get married?

[quote name='crunchb3rry']Get married whenever. Just sign a prenup. Basically a paper that says "You don't get shit if we get a divorce" and have her sign it. Then pray she doesn't win the lotto.[/QUOTE]

That's a common misconception. Really, the judge has the power to decide whether it's unconscionable and throw it out or just skate around what's said in it. For example, suppose you put in your agreement that your wife does not get the house after the divorce. The judge can either consider that unconscionable ( based on the situation ) or just order you to buy another house. Same with everyone keeping what they brought into the marraige. Your ex wife might be able to argue that she contributed to everything you earned, so much so that without her you would've never been able to earn it, and therefore she deserves a bigger cut and your prenuptial agreement means shit. You can put in your agreement that you don't want to have to pay spousal support, they judge can just order your child support so ridiculously high that it would cover that anyway.

Remember that lawyers know all of these types of loopholes and want to get either party whatever they can get because that is how they make their living.

That being said, I'm not arguing the morality of someone getting the house, car, or getting child support. I'm trying to stress to everyone here that a prenuptial agreement is not some sort of guard that can save you from getting fucked in court.
 
Damn those lawyers! Just goes to prove the best option is to not get married anyway. Put her in your will, be done with it. Tell soccer moms that give you dirty looks for having kids out of wedlock to fuck off.
 
[quote name='HovaEscobar']What would you all consider a good reason to get married?

Please do not say love or the desire to be with someone forever because you can have that without calling it marraige or signing documents.[/QUOTE]

Tax breaks.
 
I got married at 19, and it was a huge mistake. I mean we are still married but we were both such stupid idiots when it came to relationships, just completely clueless. We didn't really know how very different men and women communicated and so we got into fights all the time. Of course he was a pretty big ass hole back then too expecting too much and all (he agrees on this point) but definatly at least until after the "college years".
 
I guess I'll comment again, having read a fair bit of stuff after my post about me getting married soon (sans the whole "We love each other and see ourselves growing old together" since we both agree that some feelings are fleeting, and we live and age where divorce is rampant):

Money:
Yeah, me and her have none. As we're both college students, we manage to live "well" enough to afford a decently sized apartment, looking after an 11 yr. old (long story, PM me or read my blog entry if you want to hear an abridged version), and having enough left over to feed 1 or 2 pricey hobbies. This is mostly in part of Federal Financial Aid, Scholarships, and the general go-getter attitude between the two of us.

Maturity:
I'll be the first to say that I see myself as a 15 year old kid with an access to a credit card. Though she is younger than me, she's a lot more mature than me. She keeps both me and the kid in line more-so than anything else, making sure that we're both doing house-chores and homework. Kinda self-deprecating when I say that, but in all honesty, she still loves me despite of my flaws. And speaking of character flaws, she's is an active shaper in my own life, making me move away from being so self-centered and childish. Ironically enough, we're very young-at-heart type of people. She's a king at 3D fighting games and most RPGs, and I have a gift-wrapped Sims 3 waiting for her when she get's home.

System of marriage:
We're neither religious, and we see marriage as more of a religious ceremony that we need to go through to appease both of our families. We talked about it, and the upside to this is that someone else will cover most of the fees, she gets to wear a pretty dress, and I get to eat delicious cake.

Kids:
Yeah, there are some people out there that shouldn't breed, at all. I don't think that I'm up for it, but she said that I'll be a fine dad, which I highly doubt. We're currently looking after a family member of hers, and I can barely handle that 11 year old. Maybe I'm just plain scared of having a kid, and all of those responsibilities. Fortunately, neither one of us is ready for having a kid of our own, and we agreed to delay that until we're on better financial footing.

Education/Jobs:
Both in college. We're planning on having our wedding right before I enter my MA program, which will be in a year's time. As for current careers, I work in a bookstore/college merchandise place, and she's currently doing a few odds and ends, mostly freelance camera/video work, theatrical dance, BJD accesorizing, and costume design/creation.

I guess that's about it.
 
There is no set right time to get married you will just know.

When you do know it's time do yourself a favor and DON'T marry her or have kids with her because about 5 months later you'll wake up one day and think WTF was I thinking.

I suppose the best time to get married is like the 3rd time you know it's the right time to get married. :D
 
When you're "responsible" enough to. When is the right time to have kids? When you're "responsible" enough to. (Granted you are "suitable" to pro create to start with of course...)
 
[quote name='dopa345']Tax breaks.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

I agree with the "cohabit before marriage" crowd.

My mother gave me some useful advice years ago - she said "what is the absolute worst fucking thing about your fiance that you can't stand and pisses you off to no end? Think about what that is. Whatever it is, ask yourself if that's something you can put up with for the rest of your life, because you're not going to change it."

So, if you answer that question to yourself, and think that - whatever personality trait it is you can think of - is something you can live with, perhaps it's time. OTOH, if that trait is not something you can live with - then maybe you better rethink your options.

And "love" is something to sell movie tickets, so don't hang your hat on that.
 
Wanna say never, but if you're gonna do it, about 30 or so. I've seen so much shit that's shocked me in the past year or so, I'm really starting to get desensitized to all the BS. A few marriages end with cheating, fiance cheating, friends who got BJs from someone else right after their wedding, married couple trying to have an orgy recently, list goes on. People are just fuckED up nowadays because they're polluted by the shit they watch in movies and on reality TV. Wonder why girls are so much more prone to cheat now? Watch their favorite movies like the notebook, titanic, benjamin button.. what's the recurring theme? Female role isn't happy in relationship and starts looking for 'love' elsewhere. Whatever happened to commitment and loyalty?

I appreciate the hell out of my parents for sticking it out and staying married for coming up on 40 years and they definitely have had rough patches but made it work time and time again. I think anyone in our generation that can do that nowadays is a miracle worker.
 
[quote name='HovaEscobar']What would you all consider a good reason to get married?

Please do not say love or the desire to be with someone forever because you can have that without calling it marraige or signing documents.[/QUOTE]

Tax breaks. Being able to use each other's health insurance. Being able to go into the emergency room and be with your loved one in case the worst happens. Religious reasons, if you're actively into one. Makes your parents shut up.

And, the reason I gave my fiance- so when you finally snap and go on a murderous ramage, I can't be forced to testify against you. ;)
 
[quote name='DuelLadyS']
And, the reason I gave my fiance- so when you finally snap and go on a murderous ramage, I can't be forced to testify against you. ;)[/QUOTE]

You sound pretty confident you're making it out of that murderous rampage in one piece, eh? ;)
 
I want to say don't do it! :razz:

Just be sure it's right for the both of you. Do not think either of you will change the other. I am recently divorced after 8 years. She had the notion of trying to change who i was. We married fairly young and never lived together prior to that. Wish we had. Thankfully the divorce was civil and we are still friends. Sometimes its just not meant to be.

Crazy thing is, I'm thinking of doing it again! Taking my time on this one though.
 
I guess it really depends. I saw friends marry as young as 19, just had another friend get engaged at 22 to his 19 yr old girlfriend. And then i have friends like others said, over 30 still dating. and one person i know who was 38 when he finally got married (wife is 10 years younger).

Personally, i want to feel comfortable financially on my own as well as just satisfied with myself and my life before i go sharing it with someone for years to come. I'm 22, my boyfriend is 29, we've been together 2 1/2 years, and neither of us are in a rush. I said ideally around 24, 25 i think i'd be ok with it. I just graduated college in january, im still trying to get a job in my field (which with this economical climate is damn near impossible), and im still finding who i am and what i want in terms of just my life in general, not even just in a relationship.

We are pretty much agreed we are heading to marriage, and kids, and all that wonderful stuff... but we aren't there just *yet*.
 
[quote name='QiG']You sound pretty confident you're making it out of that murderous rampage in one piece, eh? ;)[/QUOTE]

I imagine the trigger's gonna be a bad driver somewhere, so as long as I shut up and stay in the car, I should be fine. :lol:
 
[quote name='mykevermin']:lol:

I agree with the "cohabit before marriage" crowd.
[/QUOTE]People who cohabit before marriage are more likely to get divorced, which isn't a good thing for a marriage.
 
[quote name='XxFuRy2Xx']People who cohabit before marriage are more likely to get divorced, which isn't a good thing for a marriage.[/QUOTE]

That's an interesting statement.. can you back that up?
 
I would say 25 - 29, enough time to grow up and get situated in life.

I'm currently in Utah and damn everyone gets married straight out of high school, all it leads to is a lot of divorces and single parents. It's not worth it to get married until you have really grown up and discovered who you are, that goes for both sexes.
 
The answer completely depends on the couple. Some people are ready when they're young and some people are never ready.

I really don't think money is an issue either, not being responsible with money will hurt for sure but it probably means you're less than responsible in other areas as well and those too can contribute to a failed marriage.

I'm 23, married when i was 22, we've been together for over 5 years now. We own our own house and just had a baby in April. We do it all on an income of $2000 a month and we're doing it pretty damn well.

Jacques
 
[quote name='XxFuRy2Xx']People who cohabit before marriage are more likely to get divorced, which isn't a good thing for a marriage.[/QUOTE]

Where are you getting this? I'm skeptical that's true.

I'm almost 24 and have been dating my girlfriend for almost 5 years, yet I feel in no rush to get married. The most annoying thing is being asked constantly, which I am.

I think financial stability is the key factor. If you both have a steady job and income, it's easier to think about settling down and taking on everything that goes with getting married. It isn't cheap. I voted 25-27. Everyone I personally know who has gotten married younger than that has regretted it.
 
Damn, Gulf Stream co-pilots barely make more than i do starting out. This is after paying like $30k in tuition to learn to fly a plane.

$8 an hour to co-pilot a plane? You could make more at McDonalds.
 
[quote name='bvharris']Where are you getting this? I'm skeptical that's true.

I'm almost 24 and have been dating my girlfriend for almost 5 years, yet I feel in no rush to get married. The most annoying thing is being asked constantly, which I am.

I think financial stability is the key factor. If you both have a steady job and income, it's easier to think about settling down and taking on everything that goes with getting married. It isn't cheap. I voted 25-27. Everyone I personally know who has gotten married younger than that has regretted it.[/QUOTE]

I can't believe people haven't heard of this before, I thought that was just general knowledge. I've read that countless times and have heard it from many sources. Do a search for "higher divorce rate for cohabitation" or something similar, and you'll many articles presenting information on their correlation. Some articles show a 50-80% rise in divorce rate.

I'm actually getting married this Saturday myself, and I can't wait. We've been dating for 6 years, and I'm now 22, she's 21. It's been a long time coming (engaged for 2 years) and we both have good jobs and a great relationship. I can't imagine myself with anyone else.
 
[quote name='GaveUpTomorrow']I can't believe people haven't heard of this before, I thought that was just general knowledge. I've read that countless times and have heard it from many sources. Do a search for "higher divorce rate for cohabitation" or something similar, and you'll many articles presenting information on their correlation. Some articles show a 50-80% rise in divorce rate.
[/QUOTE]

correlation.png


I wouldn't doubt the correlation based on studies, but I'm dubious that the actual cohabitation itself is the deciding factor. I would suspect that the population of people willing to consider cohabitation probably has a higher divorce rate in general than those who don't, but of course I haven't looked into it.
 
@bvharris and QiG.

I'm a communications major and I've heard it in both my Family and the Communication class and my Interpersonal Communication class (professor has a doctorate and does research and stuff, plus he teaches a marriage class to couples). You can also look online and look at some studies done on the subject.

I'd bust out my class notes and give you guys some more info, but I'm currently at my brother's house and don't have access to them.
 
Well, if you have to ask, you're not ready, IMO. Some people say they just wake up one day and the just know they are ready. For me it was weird. I was 40 and on vacation in Venice when it happened to me. I always thought I was a happy bachelor. Travel around the world and just live life for me but it can’t compare to being happily married.
As others have said, it’s not so much about age but who you are. Hell, I'm just lucky that the woman (she was 34 at the time) I wanted to marry, wanted to marry me too.
Give yourself some goals but remember to be a little flexible. And don’t let anyone make the decision for you, including your future spouse.
 
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