[YAHOO] Florida Man Kills Roomate over Toilet Paper

H-Town Info

H-Town Info

CAGiversary!
Feedback
27 (100%)
Man Kills Roomate over Toilet Paper

MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.


Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning.

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney.


JW, i bet he badly want that 2-ply toilet paper
 
Never again will I get slightly annoyed at my wife when she makes me get up off the couch to bring her a new roll.
 
My roommate started a fight with me once over a roll of toilet paper. Apparently the roll was near empty and he decided that this was unacceptable and tossed the remainder of the roll into the room I shared with one of our other roommates. Needless to say I was quite annoyed. No one got beat to death that night though.
 
The other guy should have his hands chopped off so he won't be able to use the toilet paper he was bitching about.
 
[quote name='1modernboy']Justifiable homicide. You just don’t fuck with a man’s ass-wipe![/QUOTE]

:rofl:

I know I shouldn't be laughing but that is the funniest thing I have read all year. :lol:
 
First of all, why are 2 grown men in their 50's living together in the first place? They should be married and have families of their own.
 
[quote name='shieryda']First of all, why are 2 grown men in their 50's living together in the first place? They should be married and have families of their own.[/QUOTE]

Well, either they are gay, or women simply aren't attracted to men that pull out guns and beat people to death over toilet paper.
 
[quote name='shipwreck']Well, either they are gay, or women simply aren't attracted to men that pull out guns and beat people to death over toilet paper.[/QUOTE]

Let’s see now: one of these cats is prone to violent outbursts via claw hammer and the other can’t keep toilet paper in the house. I can’t imagine why the ladies wouldn’t dig ‘em! :D
 
[quote name='shipwreck']Well, either they are gay, or women simply aren't attracted to men that pull out guns and beat people to death over toilet paper.[/QUOTE]


If those two don't scream redneck cornholers, I don't know what does.
 
But toilet paper can be such a great grounds to piss people off! For example:

Sometime in my school career I ended up with a single suite, which means that my suite and the other connected suite meet up in a shared bathroom. Late one night, around 1 AM or so when there was work the next day, my suitemate threw a party in his room with a good dozen or so people. They were being loud and obnoxious, for the most part, but it was fine until it hit around 2 AM and I really had to get some sleep.

Around that time, I noticed that a lot of them were using the bathroom quite frequently. I quickly remembered that I was the only person with paper products for the bathroom, so I had a fine idea. What would stop a party insanely fast without any need for upset confrontation with (obviously wasted) undergrads?

Remove anything that can be used to wipe from the bathroom.

So I did. I walked in, used the bathroom as per usual, pocketed the rest of the toilet paper on the roll and left the empty roll where it lay. I then went under the sink and removed all of my towels, paper towels, sponges, and tissues. I threw them into my room, tossed them into the closet, washed my hands and locked the door.

Five minutes later someone had to use the bathroom. It was a guy so, like usual, that doesn't stop us from doing what we have to do. Then the news spread about the toilet paper. They continued on anyway...until a few guys and a girl or two had to use the bathroom for reasons that necessitated the presense of toilet products. They ran out of the suite and down the hall to make it to the elevators to get to the nearest bathrooms in response, yelling most of the way.

Did I neglect to mention I live on a very high floor and the only other available bathrooms to the public are on the ground floor? Oh, and that we have ridiculously slow elevators?

Needless to say, the party ended about 15 minutes after the paper removal and I had a great night's sleep.
 
[quote name='Kapwanil']But toilet paper can be such a great grounds to piss people off! For example:

Sometime in my school career I ended up with a single suite, which means that my suite and the other connected suite meet up in a shared bathroom. Late one night, around 1 AM or so when there was work the next day, my suitemate threw a party in his room with a good dozen or so people. They were being loud and obnoxious, for the most part, but it was fine until it hit around 2 AM and I really had to get some sleep.

Around that time, I noticed that a lot of them were using the bathroom quite frequently. I quickly remembered that I was the only person with paper products for the bathroom, so I had a fine idea. What would stop a party insanely fast without any need for upset confrontation with (obviously wasted) undergrads?

Remove anything that can be used to wipe from the bathroom.

So I did. I walked in, used the bathroom as per usual, pocketed the rest of the toilet paper on the roll and left the empty roll where it lay. I then went under the sink and removed all of my towels, paper towels, sponges, and tissues. I threw them into my room, tossed them into the closet, washed my hands and locked the door.

Five minutes later someone had to use the bathroom. It was a guy so, like usual, that doesn't stop us from doing what we have to do. Then the news spread about the toilet paper. They continued on anyway...until a few guys and a girl or two had to use the bathroom for reasons that necessitated the presense of toilet products. They ran out of the suite and down the hall to make it to the elevators to get to the nearest bathrooms in response, yelling most of the way.

Did I neglect to mention I live on a very high floor and the only other available bathrooms to the public are on the ground floor? Oh, and that we have ridiculously slow elevators?

Needless to say, the party ended about 15 minutes after the paper removal and I had a great night's sleep.[/QUOTE]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
I like to imagine he bludgeoned that guy with a hammer whilst he had a poopy ass.
 
[quote name='beerguy961']Hey, if this was about overhang vs. underhang, I can understand. Long live the overhang![/quote]

Philistine! :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top