lying cheating & buggy game rant(thread)

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Wow, I'm just now experiencing Split/Second for the first time, and holy crap. To those that have played it, all I need to say is " Raptor and Vixen"( to those that haven't, they almost always finish in the top 3 or 4, miraculously leaping 4 and 5 spots at a time). I thought it was my imagination, so I tried again and sure enough I blow them to smithereens on the last point before race end, and at the finish line I look back, It's me, torpedo, and live wire in that order. Vixen and Raptor? Not in sight. The results screen pull up and sure enough it says Raptor and Vixen were right behind me, even supplying false times as if if they were on my bumper. Again, two times IN a ROW. And don't get me started on how they are randomly invulnerable to attacks.

I'm sure we will have plenty of EA Sports stories to follow.
 
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I remember Street Fighter II and Blanka doing his roll attacks in the middle of walking toward me.

That was some shit, Capcom.
 
Any of the bullshit Dragon's Lair-type laserdisc games back in the arcade days were cheating IMO. People pumped 2 quarters (TWO QUARTERS!) at a time into that POS to watch a cartoon in 15 second increments.

It was a cheat the way the lottery is a cheat. Yeah, you can possibly win millions, but it's far more likely that you bleed thousands. I still can't believe people put quarters in that thing. What a waste.

[quote name='Jodou']Super Mario Kart and special cup 150cc.[/QUOTE]

FFS, doodoo. You called yourself "hardcore" in the SWTOR thread. Whatever it is you're doing now, drop it. You gotta get back in SMK and earn that shit.
 
[quote name='Strell']I remember Street Fighter II and Blanka doing his roll attacks in the middle of walking toward me.

That was some shit, Capcom.[/QUOTE]

Street Fighter is a stinking cheater.
 
[quote name='dothog']You gotta get back in SMK and earn that shit.[/QUOTE]
No way, that god damn game cheats. I'd be going full speed and the computer would pass me every time at the finish line.
 
[quote name='lokizz']uncharted 3. damn near every enemy had fucking perfect aim and occasionally youd be shot through walls.[/QUOTE]

The bots in Left 4 Dead/L4D2 say hi. One of my favorite things is to spawn in the safe room after they exit. Nick and Rochelle especially will just snipe right through the wall as they're in the process of saying whatever special you were.

And then the AI Director occassionally loves to just spawn a Tank out of sync in Co-op Campaign. Like my friend and I would round a corner and make it a few feet and then BOOM Tank standing right in front of us swinging as the music kicks in. On Advanced even it's practically no vaseline funky butt loving.
 
The final bosses in Chrono Cross and especially Earthbound. I can't stand gimmicky final battles like these.

(And before anyone argues with me, although I perfectly understand why some people love Earthbound [and its final battle] and despite enjoying a few aspects of the game, in general, I personally didn't like it. No comment regarding Chrono Cross :p)
 
[quote name='Jodou']No way, that god damn game cheats. I'd be going full speed and the computer would pass me every time at the finish line.[/QUOTE]
No excuses.

I will never be able to look at you the same way ("lustfully", for the record) if you can't reliably beat Super Mario Kart 150cc.
 
Beat split second last night, finally, no thanks to one level where I kept getting killed by nothing.

I remember a particularly bad NCAA football game, I was up 35 points in the third, like 35-0 or 42-7. Slaughtering other team, they had less than 20 yards of offence. The Said team proceeded to intercept a pass EVERY possession, mow down my defence like they weren't there, and my running back that had the highest total yards was getting loss after loss and, the through the rest of the game, the other team score 42 points.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']No excuses.

I will never be able to look at you the same way ("lustfully", for the record) if you can't reliably beat Super Mario Kart 150cc.[/QUOTE]

I remember when my family got SMK and I was first training in the Way of the Kart, I talked my 9 year old sister into going 2P on the last 150cc cup. I kept getting raped by the CPU and feeling sorry for myself. She raced through the whole thing like some child genius automaton, taking corners like a champ, never touching a wall once, just blazing through shit like you do in SMK.

That was a personal low. In the movie of my Mario karting life and times, that's a key moment in the inspirational montage, it's just before I look into a cracked and grimy mirror. Then I go run some stairs with SNES controllers in each hand with a planview of Donut Plains 3 fading behind me.

The D-double-O needs that moment.

An ass kicking from a kid is a true test of a man's resolve. Either you shrug it off with some "reflexes" bullshit, or you get hardcore and destroy that little fucker's self-esteem. You get skillz, you cheat, you use spolitz, whatever. You make that kid feel like shit.
 
[quote name='Strell']I remember Street Fighter II and Blanka doing his roll attacks in the middle of walking toward me.

That was some shit, Capcom.[/QUOTE]

isn't that more of a glitch than cheating?
=====================================
biggest cheat i've seen in gaming today is COD: MW3.
 
My favourite example? Civilization 2. Cheating AIs in strategy games are common - perfect knowledge through fog of war, higher starting resources, increased income, whatever. Of course strategy games let their AIs cheat; their AIs are fucking morons. But Civ 2? fuck me sideways, the Civ 2 AI knew how to cheat.

Infinite fuel for aircraft. Bronze Age ships that could cross oceans without problems (player-controlled triremes sank if they went a couple squares away from the coast). Roads and irrigation systems springing up ex nihilo. But my favourite one? They could use standard military units as diplomats or spies. Spies had a "bribe unit" power. Any enemy unit - a warrior with a club, a crusader on his horse, a World War 2-era marine, a cruise missile, anything - had the option of bypassing a fight by giving up a bit of gold.

I mean, god damn.
[quote name='NoelVermillion']isn't that more of a glitch than cheating?
=====================================
biggest cheat i've seen in gaming today is COD: MW3.[/QUOTE]
1: Probably not.
2: Would you care to explain?
 
[quote name='blueshinra']The final bosses in Chrono Cross and especially Earthbound. I can't stand gimmicky final battles like these.

(And before anyone argues with me, although I perfectly understand why some people love Earthbound [and its final battle] and despite enjoying a few aspects of the game, in general, I personally didn't like it. No comment regarding Chrono Cross :p)[/QUOTE]

Get the fuck off this board. Disliking Chrono Cross doesn't redeem you enough.

In regards to this thread, Vesper and Decus SO2. Even worse in the Japanese version where Opera's Healing Star is worthless (they beefed it up a LOT in the American version), or if you just don't have Opera at all.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']Cheating AIs in strategy games are common - perfect knowledge through fog of war, higher starting resources, increased income, whatever. Of course strategy games let their AIs cheat; their AIs are fucking morons. But Civ 2? fuck me sideways, the Civ 2 AI knew how to cheat.[/QUOTE]

I haven't played many strategy games. Civ IV is the one I've spent the most time with. I always assumed the "I am being fucked with" feeling came more from the fact that I generally suck at strategy games.

I can't believe I never gave myself credit: I was awesome at Civ IV all along, it's just the damn AI was screwing me over. It makes sense!
 
i dont think ive ever played a racing game that didnt cheat like a bitch with the rubber banding. i remember excite bike 64 and freekstyle on the ps2 being some of the worst offenders.
 
One thing that always bothered me for some reason were the uncatchable/indesctructable cars in some of the missions in GTAIV/San Andreas. I don't know why it bothers me... it's not that hard to just trail behind them or do whatever they're asking of you, but it always seemed to go against the main idea behind open world games, i.e. that you mostly do whatever you wanted, even if that means cutting short an elaborate car chase the developers had laid out. I love it when you're seamlessly bobbing through traffic and going as fast as possible and all of the sudden their car speeds up so fast it starts breaking the laws of the in-game physics.
 
Worst cheating AI ever for me: Monopoly on Genesis and even the mini on PS3/PSN. The computer would always try to grab everything of yours for some paltry property of theirs(see: Baltic Avenue:whistle2:#).
 
[quote name='IAmTheCheapestGamer']Worst cheating AI ever for me: Monopoly on Genesis and even the mini on PS3/PSN. The computer would always try to grab everything of yours for some paltry property of theirs(see: Baltic Avenue:whistle2:#).[/QUOTE]

Ah yes, board game based video games. Now there is some good ol fashioned cheapcrap
 
In any Pokemon game that has a Battle Tower or some sort of challenge area similar to one. There are so many ways the AI cheats in these areas(30% accuracy one hit KO moves hitting every time. critical hits constantly, always having status effects activate in their favor, dodging 100% accurate moves several times in a row) that people have actually resorted to cheating themselves to be able to stand even the slightest chance at higher levels. By far the worst and hardest to handle cheating I have come across in almost any game I have played.
 
Speaking of Pokemon, being confused was the worst. In every game I've played your Pokemon would be confused for 5 turns and hit itself at least 3 times but your opponent would be confused for 3 turns or so and only hit itself one and sometimes not at all.
 
[quote name='dothog']An ass kicking from a kid is a true test of a man's resolve. Either you shrug it off with some "reflexes" bullshit, or you get hardcore and destroy that little fucker's self-esteem. You get skillz, you cheat, you use spolitz, whatever. You make that kid feel like shit.[/QUOTE]


This is one of the best things I've ever read. I feel like I was this kid to at least two dudes back home.

They were playing Street Fighter 2, and I was too small to even reach the cabinet. Got a milkcrate, grabbed Chun Li, and murdered them both. My grandmother was so proud/ready to go home.

I like to imagine they're both out there looking for me, Kill Bill style.
 
Risk on Psn was a dirty cheater with the dice rolls. I played a few times before realizing it was garbage. Had 12 armies to the computers 3, and ended up loosing all 12. This would happen every time I got an advantage. I dont trust dice rolling to computers!
 
Splitt Second was pretty bad, but Burnout/Criterion games are just as bad. Playing Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit a few days ago I was 10+ seconds ahead of second place. Then all off a sudden the AI turns into Road Runner and I hear "BEEP BEEP MOTHAfuckA!" and get passed BY A GUY TEN FRIGGIN'SECONDS BEHIND ME! (Oh and I was boosting to!)

Really Criterion?

BTW the Split Second OST is bangin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoGBIjfCZk0
 
fucking pokemon and I'm not even joking.

Your pokemon's secondary effect/critical never even work on your opponents, but a trainer's (esp. gym leaders and elite four) secondary effect almost ALWAYS works. I'm talking to you, Ice Beam.
 
[quote name='dothog']Any of the bullshit Dragon's Lair-type laserdisc games back in the arcade days were cheating IMO. People pumped 2 quarters (TWO QUARTERS!) at a time into that POS to watch a cartoon in 15 second increments.

It was a cheat the way the lottery is a cheat. Yeah, you can possibly win millions, but it's far more likely that you bleed thousands. I still can't believe people put quarters in that thing. What a waste.



FFS, doodoo. You called yourself "hardcore" in the SWTOR thread. Whatever it is you're doing now, drop it. You gotta get back in SMK and earn that shit.[/QUOTE]


I have to agree this was a ripoff, especially because the operators were forced to set the games to 2 quarters since there was no option for 1 quarter if I can remember correctly. We all know how far laserdisc games got in the arcade. Though I can't say they were bad games (just a ripoff to kids who were sent to the arcade in the 80's with a couple bucks in their pockets or just a few quarters) because I know a whole community of people who love laserdisc games. With that being said this is probably one of the first examples of games ripping people off.

Yeah the battle area in pokemon is one of the worst things, fortunately its an entirely optional area, you can't even beat it if you hack perfect pokemon, I have tried. IMO and I have said this before Nintendo has some of the worst rubber band and cheating AI in their video games. I really, really, really hate rubberband AI, and I try very much to not purchase games that have it. I also really hate frustrating video games, especially games that I physically cannot complete because of cheating AI or badly designed AI.

I haven't played it myself but I hear Fortune Street is particular bad when it comes to this, has anyone actually managed to win at this game when playing against the computer?
 
yeah but we didnt know any better back then, it looked like the best game ever at the time i was pretty disappointed once i learned the truth about dragons lair years later because i wasted alot of money on it.
 
If it makes you feel any better I don't think Laserdisc games made that much money in the arcade, most of them were converted to other cabinets, ones that made more money for the operator, making a dedicated laser game quite a rarity these days. The games were also unreliable and would constantly break down, more than other games.
 
[quote name='Monsta Mack']Splitt Second was pretty bad, but Burnout/Criterion games are just as bad. Playing Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit a few days ago I was 10+ seconds ahead of second place. Then all off a sudden the AI turns into Road Runner and I hear "BEEP BEEP MOTHAfuckA!" and get passed BY A GUY TEN FRIGGIN'SECONDS BEHIND ME! (Oh and I was boosting to!)

Really Criterion?[/QUOTE]

It's why I eventually gave up. I got like 80% finished with all of the challenges and races but the last few are freaking impossible due to that cheating bitch.
 
[quote name='Monsta Mack']Splitt Second was pretty bad[/QUOTE]


Yeah, I actually enjoyed Split Second, but the AI was so bad I couldn't finish it. If I so much as slowed down to take a corner, the AI passed me. If I maintained speed, I'd spin while the AI flew by without drifting an inch.

When I played online, it was great. The absence of the insane AI made it a hundred times more fun. Unfortunately, you had to play through the game to unlock the best cars for multiplayer, so I just took it out of the Xbox.


Edit: This won't be a crowd favorite, but it would be blasphemy not to mention NBA Jam's AI always landing the half court shot at the buzzer.
 
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I actually passed on buying split second for 8 dollars because I remember reading reviews on the horrble rubberbanding AI and knew it would end up pissing me off.
I remember being so excited to play risk on my first windows computer and it had horrible AI like 5 of their troops taking out 12 of mine. I ended up getting a free risk knock off that was much better and didn't cheat.
 
[quote name='sleepydumbdude']I actually passed on buying split second for 8 dollars because I remember reading reviews on the horrble rubberbanding AI and knew it would end up pissing me off.
I remember being so excited to play risk on my first windows computer and it had horrible AI like 5 of their troops taking out 12 of mine. I ended up getting a free risk knock off that was much better and didn't cheat.[/QUOTE]
Just save up a level two, hang back to 4th or so, for the last section of the final lap, and blowing the cheating AI to bits is very satisfying, thats how I finally beat it after making the OP
 
I think the only time in my life that I have physically broken something based on a game was the cheating AI in Def Jam Fight for New York. I picked up an ottoman and threw it against an exposed brick column in my den. Luckily, it only broke the support that runs between the legs, so the ottoman still works ok. Scared my wife and made me ashamed though. I haven't played Def Jam since then, though I still have it.
 
[quote name='Backlash']I think the only time in my life that I have physically broken something based on a game was the cheating AI in Def Jam Fight for New York. I picked up an ottoman and threw it against an exposed brick column in my den. Luckily, it only broke the support that runs between the legs, so the ottoman still works ok. Scared my wife and made me ashamed though. I haven't played Def Jam since then, though I still have it.[/QUOTE]


What specifically in Def Jam brought about such rage? I love that game. It's one of my top 10 PS2 titles. I admit that Tech guy with the bulletproof vest is OP like mad, but everyone else felt pretty decent.
 
[quote name='Broken Cage']What specifically in Def Jam brought about such rage? I love that game. It's one of my top 10 PS2 titles. I admit that Tech guy with the bulletproof vest is OP like mad, but everyone else felt pretty decent.[/QUOTE]

It's been so many years that I can't really remember. I got stuck on one match though, and when I was finally about to beat it I felt like the computer totally cheated. That's all I can remember :(
 
[quote name='Backlash']I think the only time in my life that I have physically broken something based on a game was the cheating AI in Def Jam Fight for New York. I picked up an ottoman and threw it against an exposed brick column in my den. Luckily, it only broke the support that runs between the legs, so the ottoman still works ok. Scared my wife and made me ashamed though. I haven't played Def Jam since then, though I still have it.[/QUOTE]

I smashed a 360 controller because of the AI in Ridge Racer 6.

At first, the AI is fine, up until you get further into the game where you have to face the rare cars, the Angelus and the like. Where they go faster than any of the regular cars, unless you have some of the hidden cars, which can only be unlocked by beating them! So, I'm beating one of these cars and I actually had a pretty decent lead, then BAM out of no where using Nitro and zooms past me near the final corner.

The right bottom of the controller is cracked and the little plastic piece that runs along underneath the handle is broken, even part of the battery didn't survive, but hey, that damn controller still works.
 
You guys need to man up. 45/46 Split Second Achievements for me. Tough but man, what a sense of accomplishment. Only one I never got was Beat the Team II that was a timed race with the formula(?) car that just slid all over the place.
 
The problem with most racing games is either the ai rubber bands or you stomp the ai every time. I'd really like to see something like a speed increase for all drivers behind 1st place up to a certain distance. All players get a defense and control increase for not touching anything overtime.

The player in 1st gets an ego boost that gives them more control and take less damage. When someone passes 1st everyone gets a "This is my chance" super boost for a short amount of time base on their distance from first. The players who was first gets a speed, defense and rage increase.
 
[quote name='Corvin']You guys need to man up. 45/46 Split Second Achievements for me. Tough but man, what a sense of accomplishment. Only one I never got was Beat the Team II that was a timed race with the formula(?) car that just slid all over the place.[/QUOTE]

Meh, to me, it wasn't that great of a game to push through the frustration of getting all the cheevos. I finished the single player, but that's as far as I went.
 
Actually on split/second I finished first or second in most of the races no problem. It was those damn helicopter or barrell throwing truck missions that I could never seem to get past 5th or 4th on.

And like most racing games, if you don't place high enough you don't unlock the next "event". So, try, try, try, the same events again. Got boring and I moved on.
 
[quote name='Broken Cage']

Edit: This won't be a crowd favorite, but it would be blasphemy not to mention NBA Jam's AI always landing the half court shot at the buzzer.[/QUOTE]

NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, and most other Midway arcade games cheated hardcore.

No fumbles or int's and up by 21 in Blitz with 1 minute left? Not so fast there, time for the AI to throw 4 - 75 yard TD's.
 
[quote name='waldo21212']NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, and most other Midway arcade games cheated hardcore.

No fumbles or int's and up by 21 in Blitz with 1 minute left? Not so fast there, time for the AI to throw 4 - 75 yard TD's.[/QUOTE]

The original NBA Jam had built in adjustment to shot percentage. It added 1 percent for every point you were down by. If you were getting crushed it would get to the point where all you would have to do is get the ball in the air and it would go in and the AI took advantage of it. You could literally see it because there was an arcade code that would show shot percentage chance. I would assume Blitz did the same with pass completion since it had many of the same guys that worked on it.
 
[quote name='waldo21212']NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, and most other Midway arcade games cheated hardcore.[/QUOTE]

I know it's somewhat silly to complain of unrealism in a Mortal Kombat game, but I love Mileena and Kitana's ability in MKII to counter an uppercut with a German suplex.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']I know it's somewhat silly to complain of unrealism in a Mortal Kombat game, but I love Mileena and Kitana's ability in MKII to counter an uppercut with a German suplex.[/QUOTE]
Yeah. She always got me with that move.:cry::whistle2:#
 
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