Tenay - Hulk Hogan is going to update us on the abrupt conclusion to last week’s AJ-Angle matchup!
Hogan - YA KNOW SOMETHING ERIC, IT’S WIDE OPEN IN THE IMPACT ZONE BROTHER! THERE’S SO MUCH BUSINESS! I WANNA GET MICK FOLEY OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, WE GOT SOMETHING WE GOTTA WORK OUT, BROTHER! WELL THANKS FOR COMING OUT TO VISIT US OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE IMPACT ZONE! WE’RE GONNA WORK OUT THIS SITUATION BETWEEN YOU TWO GUYS RIGHT NOW GUYS!
Eric - Hulk, we don’t have a situation - I fired him AFTER HE BEAT ME HALF TO DEATH!
Hogan - There’s a lot of buttons that’ve been pushed here, and I’ve never had a chance to work with Mick Foley, Cactus Jack, or whatever ya are now. I see a lot of things that are right on the money, and the closer I get to you, there’s a lot of things that need to be dialed in. I think we can turn him into an asset!
Eric - HE COULDA PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL!
Foley - Last week, I wanted to hit Eric, I WISH I HAD, and I look at those little stitcheroonies and know that I couldn’t have done it.
Eric - YOU WANT THESE PEOPLE TO BELIEVE THAT!? I COULD BARELY WALK TO THE RING!
Foley - IF I’D DONE IT, THEY WOULDA CARRIED YOU OUT OF MY OFFICE ON A PLATE!
Hogan - Not saying I don’t believe ya, Eric, but Mick, we need to get this worked out. Ya either work it out or ya walk out!
Hemme - I’m here with Ken Anderson.
Anderson - Oh, I get it - cuz we’re BUDDIES! I’M MR. ANDERSON! I have to do everything myself. And since I have a match tonight, I have to BOOK MYSELF. I’m issuing an open challenge to anyone in the TNA locker room - Sting, MCMG, Beer Money, Joe, the guy who drops my mic, you, honey?
Hemme - No.
Anderson - That’s what I thought. I’M BEGGING, I’M PRAYING TO GOD THAT IT’S ABYSS! Please, Abyss, accept my challenge. But it doesn’t matter - because the only name that anyone’s gonna remember at the end of the night is that of yours truly - MISSSTTERRRRR ANNNDDDERRRSOOOONNNNNN!
Hemme - Sounds like…
Anderson - ANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDERRRRRRRRRRRSOOOOOOOOOOON!
Taz - I was able to find out the name of the woman Desmond comes out with - Chelsea.
Tenay - What’s the asssocation?
Taz - I don’t know her that well.
Tenay - I meant between her and Desmond.
Taz - Oh, I don’t know about the guy’s romantic life - I just know that I’m happy when she’s around!
Taz - This is the best of the best in the 8 Card Stud tournament!
Taz - IT’S GO TIME FOR SEAN MORLEY!
Tenay - We want to thank the TNA FANS FOR MAKING LAST THURSDAY’S IMPACT THE MOST-WATCHED IMPACT EVER ON THURSDAY NIGHT!
Taz - It was very good of Morley to get out of that wacky submission!
Tenay - This tournament will help Hogan and Bischoff determine the rankings for the world title!
Taz - THAT’S SOMETHING YOU DON’T USUALLY SEE IN PRO WRESTLING! THEY’RE IN THE CHASE TO GET TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!
Eric - Where’s your attorney?
Jarrett - I apologize for that. Being around Bubba…maybe being with the outsider helped me see things from a different light. I’ve done some things that have hurt peoples’ trust with me and I’m here to start new.
Hogan - If we’re gonna see the old Jeff Jarrett - who I was with many years ago, then we’re fine.
Jarrett - If I gotta start from the bottom, I will.
Hogan - We need help here.
Bischoff - Well, Anderson’s got an open challenge - main event - Jeff Jarrett versus Ken Anderson in the main event!
Jarrett - I haven’t wrestled in seven months, Eric.
Eric - I’m sure you’re a phenomenal athlete. It’s for the best of TNA.
Jarrett - I’ll get ready.
Hogan - Man, you’re stiff! Tone it down a notch.
Tenay - Earlier, we talked about the abrupt ending to last week’s AJ-Angle match, now let’s review it!
Taz - This isn’t the first time we’ve seen Heber involved in shenanigans like this!
Taz - I will never forget Angel spitting in Hogan’s face!
Taz - Last week, HE WENT BALLISTIC!
Tenay - He thought he was out of title shots for the year!
Flair - CUSTOM MADE!
AJ - We’re going on a little vacation, right?
Flair - 30 DAYS!
AJ - THEY’RE GONNA BE ON THE FLOOR, IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
Flair - Hey, you got a friend for me!?
Girl - I know just who to call.
Tenay - Daniels is gonna have to use his speed and agility.
Taz - Daniels’ speed and agility aren’t doing him much good being held vertically up in the air in a suplex!
Taz - HOW BIG IS THIS TOURNAMENT!?
Tenay - AND JUST AS BIG IN MY EYES IS THE RANKING SYSEM SET UP BY HULK HOGAN AND ERIC BISCHOFF!
Taz - Big beal with the T-Shirt Beal shirt.
Taz - Hernandez playing possom. Big possum.
Taz - Palm strikes from Daniels.
Tenay - SHOULDER STRIKE FROM HERNANDEZ!
Taz - Hernandez is like GET OFF ME! BOOM!
(as 3D and the Nasties are shown backstage)Taz - Lucky you, YOU GET TO BE THE MEDIATOR BETWEEN THESE TWO TEAMS. Good luck - you’re gonna need it!
Tenay - At Against All Odds, it will be the first meeting of two of wrestling’s most well-known tag teams! LET ME INTRODUCE A TEAM THAT IS HARDCORE AND JUST PLAIN NASTY - THE NASTY BOYS!
Taz - For those who don’t know the Nasty Boys, they’re alla bout being mean and nasty. And they’re from Nastyville - and from what my people tell me, it’s about 3 miles away from Parts Unknown. They’re not about low carb or being on the cover of GQ - they’re about kicking butt and taking names.
Tenay - 23 TIME TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS - BROTHER RAY AND BROTHER DEVON - TEAM 3D!
Taz - There is no denying the success worldwide that Ray and Devon have had.
Ray - HEY NASTIES, CHECK THIS OUT! YOU WAITED UNTIL ME AND MY BROTHER WERE IN JAPAN, THEN YOU DESTROY OUR LOCKER ROOM, AND THEN THE NEXT WEEK, YOU BLAST US IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD LIKE A COUPLE FO PUNKS! BUT LAST WEEK, ME AND MY BROTHER TOOK 2 CHAIRS AND WRAPPED THEM AROUND YOUR HEADS! YOU REMEMBA!? YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, WHAT HE WANTS TO KNOW, WHAT THEY WANT TO KNOW - WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS!?
Sags - LISTEN FAT BOY, WE WERE BORN NASTY, WE’RE STILL NASTY, AND WE’RE GONNA DIE NASTY! UNLIKE YOU TWO BOZOS!
Devon - THAT’S REAL CUTE, BUT WHILE YOU BEEN SITTING ON YOUR FAT ASSES FOR 10 YEARS, MY BROTHER AND I HAVE BEEN WINNING WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES! WINNING THEM IN EVERY COMPANY WE’VE EVER BEEN IN - STARTING WITH ECW, WWE, WE’VE ALSO BEEN OVERSEAS GETTING TITLES IN ALL JAPAN, NEW JAPAN, AND FOR FIVE YEARS, WE’VE BEEN IN TNA FIGHTING FOR THOSE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES! AND GENTLEMEN, NOT ONLY DOES THAT MAKE US THE BEST, BUT THERE’S NO TAG TEAM THAT’S COME CLOSE TO ACCOMPLISHING WHAT WE HAVE. NOT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE BEFORE YOU!
Knobs - LISTEN UP YOU BOZOS, THE ROAD WARRIORS, THE STEINERS, THE HART FOUNDATION, HALL AND NASH, HARLEM HEAT - THE LIST GOES ON AND ON ABOUT LEGENDARY TAG TEAMS THAT HAVE FELT THE WRATH OF THE NASTY BOYS! NOW TEAM 3D, YOU’RE ON THE NASTY BOYS CHOPPING BLOCK! AND COME VALENTINE’S DAY, FEBRUARY 14TH, ME AND SAGS AIN’T GONNA BE GIVING YOU IDIOTS FLOWERS OR CHOCALATES - WE’RE GONNA BE KNOCKING YOUR TEETH DOWN YOUR UGLY, STINKING THROATS! THEY LINE EM UP, WE KNOCK EM DOWN!
Ray - Listen Knobs and Skanks, whatever your name is - PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD WANNA SEE US FIGHT!
Knobs - I DON’T THINK…
Ray - STOP TALKING YOU BIG BLOB MORON! AT AGAINST ALL ODDS, WE’LL SEE YOU.
Taz - It’s gonna be violent. And Valentine’s Day. More like St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.
Madison - Angelina’s so 2009 - and the Beautiful People have moved onto bigger and better things! We’re gonna put the belts where they belong! (does belt motion)
Lacey - IN OUR BELLIES!?
Velvet - Please pet her - I’m too far away.
Madison - Around. Our. Waists.
Eric - Bobby, glad to see you. Hulk and I were impressed with you last week - we just gotta tell you that - YOU’RE FIRED. F-I-R-E-D - FIRED! Taking out the trash.
Tenay - Well, that wasn’t what Lashley expected.
Taz - Well, he’s the guy who two weeks ago didn’t wanna be here. If he doesn’t wanna be here - let him leave!
Taz - I’ve been noticing Lacey’s new doop-dee-doo entrance.
Taz - I think I wanna be reincarnated as a second rope. You ever wanna be a second rope?
Tenay - About now.
Taz - LET THE PIGEONS LOOSE!
Taz - You ever feel broken, Mike? BROKEN, BROKEN! Not saying you’re broke. You know who lives in that trampoline house?
Tenay - Poison!
Taz - Why does Tara have to bring that tarantula, daddy long-legs thing out here?!
Tenay - One word - Intimidation.
Taz - You’re probably right.
Taz - I don’t think that Angelina’s so 2009 - I think she’s 2010, 2011...
Tenay - No limit!
Taz - I don’t know what’s worse - Velvet’s voice, which is so grating, or Lacey, who was in there for a cup of tea.
Tenay - Or coffee.
Taz - I like tea.
Taz - Jamie McGee almost got a 3.
Tenay - Tucker.
Taz - Yeah.
Tenay - Jamie McGee distracted.
Taz - TUCKER!
Tenay - HULK HOGAN HAS SUMMONED EARL HEBNER! TO HIS OFFICE!
Taz - Cohesiveness won the match.
Tenay - And the Ugly Stick.
Taz - Madison and Lacey are stomping a hole in Tara!
Hogan - Earl, it’s not good - your side isn’t good about why you rang the bell early.
Earl - When Angle went over, he hit the mat - it was a tap out!
Hogan - I SAW IT, I WATCHED IT ON MY MONITOR! AND IN THE CURTAIN! I SAW THAT ANGLE HAD HIM IN IT, HE HAD IT CINCHED - AND YOU, LIKE ME HAVE 30 YEARS, YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S CINCHED! IT WASN’T TIME - 12 YEARS AGO IN MONTREAL, YOU RANG THE BELL AND IT WASN’T TIME! WHY!?
Earl - VINCE DIDN’T SCREW BRET, BRET DIDN’T SCREW BRET, SHAWN DIDN’T SCREW BRET, I SCREWED BRET! JUST LIKE I DID LAST WEEK! I NEEDED THE MONEY! FLAIR WROTE ME A CHECK!
Hogan - THAT’S TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE, EARL! YOU’RE SUSPENDED - I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU!
Tenay - Last week, he was screwed by Earl Hebner! Now, we’ll find out what’s on the mind of Kurt Angle!
AJ - RIC, RACHEL CAME THROUGH! YOU READY TO GET THIS PARTY STARTED!?
Flair - You know who I am? THE NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR!
Taz - I gotta start hanging out with the Champ and the Nature Boy.
Foley - Bubba, you’re a glass half-empty kinda guy.
Bubba - What if things don’t go well?
Foley - I drive a 2002 mini-van and don’t owe anyone a dime - things will still be fine. Glass half-full.
Angle - AJ Styles, our match at Genesis was a match I’ll never forget. It was the greatest match of my life (a few people clap) That’s why I’m confused, disappointed, and most of all - pissed off! We shook hands, AJ! WE MADE AN AGREEMENT THAT THAT MATCH WOULD DETERMINE WHO THE GREATEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD WAS! IT WOULDA BEEN TALKED ABOUT FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS! YOU COULD’VE TOLD YOUR GRANDKIDS ABOUT IT! YOU DISAPPOINTED ME, THE BOYS IN THE BACK, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THESE GREAT TNA WRESTLING FANS! You went from a hero to a punk-ass bitch in one night! And then this past Thursday, our rematch - the Earl Hebner screw job - I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, but do you think Ric cares about you? He’s using you - he wants to strip you of your innocence. HE IS THE DIRTIEST PLAYER IN THE GAME. Is that how you want your legacy to be? I have a qualifying match for the 8 Card Stud tournament - which means when I win, it’ll be you and me 1 more time, and this time, you won’t get by the greatest wrestler that ever lived. It’s real - it’s damn real! (Hogan comes out)
Hogan - You know something, when you came into my office, you accused me of something I wasn’t guilty of, and I told you I’d get to the bottom of it and I did. If it was 25 years ago, things could’ve been different, but that was then and this is now. As the leader of TNA, I function on a business level. Last week, when you spit in my face, that’s unacceptable, and if that ever happens again and you cross that line, you can consider yourself unemployed! Do we have an understanding?!
Angle - First of all, I apologize for what I did. It was unacceptable. I admit that. But Hulk, you have to understand that you’re leading TNA - which means that everything that happens in the ring, you’re held accountable for. I’m going to apologize because what I did was wrong!
Tenay - If you’re trying to get TNA contracts, could you take a worse path than Hall and Waltman?
Taz - I don’t think so.
Taz - Kendrick’s a loner - even though he’s teaming with the Guns, he’s about one thing - Brian Kendrick.
Taz - To have both Generation Me and the Guns under our umbrella at one time - that’s pretty cool.
Taz - SUPERKICK!
Tenay - RIGHT IN THE GRILL OF MAX!
Tenay - WHEN IT COMES TO FEAST OR FIRED - IT’S ALL ABOUT THE TIMING, AND THE BRITS CASHED IT IN!
Tenay - WE’RE MOMENTS AWAY FROM JEFF’S FIRST MATCH IN SEVEN MONTHS!
Foley - Eric, I kind of admire your gumption. Since Hulk’s not here - did you do it yourself? Pay a guy?
Eric - We need to work it out.
Foley - My son was 3, and he dropped a deuce in the Chuck E Cheese tunnel. One brave man cleaned it up.
Eric - Your point is?
Foley - I would rather be that man than work in this company for you. I’m sorry to hear that, because two people are close to you, do. Abyss and Borash - I have their careers in the palm of my hand.
Foley - You wouldn’t.
Eric - You know I would. Have a nice day. See ya, Mick. (to camera guy)You, you follow me - it’s what you’re paid to do.
Flair - WOOO WOOO WOOO! WE’RE OFF FOR 30 DAYS!
Eric - We’re gonna get to that, but a couple things first. Ric, congratulations, Hogan and I are stuck with you! You must have a great attorney.
Flair - I KNOW!
Eric - You had your contract signed before we arrived. Smart move.
Flair - You’ve never said that to me before!
Eric - I’ve got some news for you. I wouldn’t be planning any trips, AAO is coming up, and under this regime, everyone has to be ready 24/7!
AJ - Don’t worry about him ladies, you’re with the champ!
Anderson - Ladies and gentlemen! STANDING BEFORE YOU - HE WEIGHS IN TONIGHT AT 235 POUNDS! HE HAILS FROM GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN! MISSSSTTTEEERRRR ANDDDERRRRSOOOOONNNNNNN! AANNNNDDEERRRRSOOOOONNNN!
Tenay - After all the ballyhoo for Mr. Anderson, the entrance of Jeff Jarrett is in stark contrast!
Taz - Seems like Bischoff is making Jeff Jarrett start at the bottom of the ladder.
Tenay - He starts on that bottom rung and has to prove himself. I’m hearing from the truck that Eric had Jeff’s music pulled!
Taz - Music’s important - it gets ya amped up!
Taz - Jeff’s got the 12th man behind him - the TNA audience.
Anderson - JARRETT! JARRETT!
Tenay - HERE IT COMES - THE JARRETT STRUT!
Taz - You can run on a treadmill or in the street all ya want, but there’s nothing like being in the ring night in and night out, and I think that’s why we’re seeing Anderson dominate Jarrett.
Anderson - AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH - ONCE AGAIN - MISSSTTERRRR ANDEERRRSOOOONNNN! (kicks Jarrett’s ass) Anderson!
Eric - Jeff, it’s gonna be a long, hard climb to the top of my mountain.