Caught my brother jackin it...WHAT SHOULD I DOOOO?!

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vanilla_shakin_it

vanilla_shakin_it

CAGiversary!
First off I'm just going to preface this entire post with a statement, I hate my little brother. He's a cocky little piece of shit sixteen year old who thinks he's cool because he's an asshole and he gets away with it because my parents think he's the baby of the family. Anyways, I was pretty sure that my brother likes to play with his parts at night. Whenever I walk from my room to the kitchen he is usually sitting in the recliner watching tv and if he hears me he will pull his sweater down or casually put both of his hands on his crotchal area. (Ya I guess he doesn't have an off switch). Two months ago he was caught looking at porn on my dad's work laptop. Asshole didn't care that he was risking my dad's job I guess. fucker didn't learn his lesson to keep it in his pants I guess. So tonight I am going to the kitchen for some water, it's about 11pm and I'm consciously making loud stepping noises and humming some nine inch nails so he has fair warning. I step out into the kitchen, I glance at the computer, he looks shocked and covers himself up (the ol' sweater trick again), I look at the screen and I see some fug ugly bitch getting plowed. Mind you, this happens in the span of a second. Me, being the fucking pro I am, do not miss a single beat and keep walking like nothing happened. I even kept fucking whistling! So right now he's probably having nightmares of there being a 50/50 chance of him getting caught. Now, how should I go about this? Tell my parents, blackmail, etc? His fate is in your hands CAG.

Cliffs
1. brother can't stop touching himself and is an asshole, I walk out to the kitchen and...
2. see him covering his parts with sweater while watching porn (guess I "snuck" up one him, even though I make a point to walk loudly just in case)
3. he's not sure if I saw or not
4. what should I do?
 
No you! Christ I thought people on here were witty. I was expecting at least a little bit of funny responses. But no people are going to see your post, someone who thinks his dick size and how long he's been a member here and his post count as one and the same as the standard for how to reply to this thread. So I guess in summation I have only this...eff yoo see kay you.
 
[quote name='opportunity777']In b4 da lock.[/quote]
See what I mean? You see the other guy, a "notable" member of cag's post, and you follow suit.
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it']See what I mean? You see the other guy, a "notable" member of cag's post, and you follow suit.[/QUOTE]

Actually, I have been a member here longer than him. It doesn't really matter because nobody here cares about E-Dick sizes.

This thread is crap. Get over it.

Btw, OMGSH thanks for jacking up my post count by +2 now~!#!!
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it']See what I mean? You see the other guy, a "notable" member of cag's post, and you follow suit.[/QUOTE]

:rofl:
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it']See what I mean? You see the other guy, a "notable" member of cag's post, and you follow suit.[/quote]

I'm apart of the CAG mafia. And damn skippy am I a revered member here. At least you got that straight.

Oh yeah, thanks for giving me an extra post.
 
[quote name='opportunity777']Actually, I have been a member here longer than him. It doesn't really matter because nobody here cares about E-Dick sizes.

This thread is crap. Get over it.

Btw, OMGSH thanks for jacking up my post count by +2 now~!#!![/quote]
You're right, I'm a real piece of shit. Next time I'll make sure to post about how my strategy guides got wet. Hopefully, then I will have earned the respect of you and maybe, just maybe, I can finally learn how to make a good thread. And enjoy your extra inches everybody.
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it']You're right, I'm a real piece of shit. Next time I'll make sure to post about how my strategy guides got wet. Hopefully, then I will have earned the respect of you and maybe, just maybe, I can finally learn how to make a good thread. And enjoy your extra inches everybody.[/QUOTE]
:rofl: But seriously, your brother doesn't have a room or bathroom where he wouldn't get caught? Anyway, you should arrange for your parents to walk in on him. Case closed.
 
the real tragedy here is that your brother is going to hell and you haven't helped him see the light of jesus christ anti-masturbater.
 
[quote name='SeanAmI122886']Stop "accidentally" walking in on your brother jackin' it[/quote]

It's not like I sneak into his room at night. Would you masturbate in the middle of your house if there was a fifty percent chance that people walk out there regularly to use the toilet or get water?
 
[quote name='DrunkTigerWoods']:rofl: But seriously, your brother doesn't have a room or bathroom where he wouldn't get caught? Anyway, you should arrange for your parents to walk in on him. Case closed.[/quote]
Of course he does, he's just a wierdo.
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it']It's not like I sneak into his room at night. Would you masturbate in the middle of your house if there was a fifty percent chance that people walk out there regularly to use the toilet or get water?[/QUOTE]

Are you sure? The fact that you post a thread about it seems like its important to you. If I ever walked in on a family member doing that I would block it out of my mind and pretend it didnt happen.

You seem to want to discuss this for some reason. A 16 year old boy wanking? Alert the media. Seriously, it happens, get over it.

Some reason Im expecting a thread a few years from now with OP coming out of the closet. Not that there is anything wrong with that, he just seems to have some homosexual urges.
 
[quote name='musha666']Are you sure? The fact that you post a thread about it seems like its important to you. If I ever walked in on a family member doing that I would block it out of my mind and pretend it didnt happen.

You seem to want to discuss this for some reason. A 16 year old boy wanking? Alert the media. Seriously, it happens, get over it.

Some reason Im expecting a thread a few years from now with OP coming out of the closet. Not that there is anything wrong with that, he just seems to have some homosexual urges.[/quote]
(You forgot to mention incestual)
Your right, I'm a ragin homo. Come hither so I can stick it in your pooper. What are you some kind of pseudo psychologist? Have fun dissecting everything anybody ever says for the rest of your life.
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it'](You forgot to mention incestual)
Your right, I'm a ragin homo. Come hither so I can stick it in your pooper.[/QUOTE]


QFT.
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it'](You forgot to mention incestual)
Your right, I'm a ragin homo. Come hither so I can stick it in your pooper. What are you some kind of pseudo psychologist? Have fun dissecting everything anybody ever says for the rest of your life.[/QUOTE]

damn, you don't even need a shovel - i dub thee "the mole!"

borrow deep, young mamal!
 
[quote name='Sleepkyng']damn, you don't even need a shovel - i dub thee "the mole!"

borrow deep, young mamal![/quote]

Make that my fucking title and we have a deal!
Edit: Can someone make me a countdown banner for my coming out thread on cag? I say make it a good two or three years because that's how long I'm guessing for all this pent up sexual rage to explode outta me. Also, do you take anybody seriously who thinks that somebody would come out on cag instead of to their family or friends first? That guy must have some kind of super brain to figure that out!
 
[quote name='Liquid 2']Am I the only one who's noticed this?

vanilla_shakin_it; VanillaGorilla. It's so obvious.[/quote]
the name I'm fucking your dad was already taken.
 
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