Girlfriend issues. I need advice.

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Theduck

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Long story short: I have a girlfriend, we have been dating for 4 months, best girlfriend ever, I can say its the first girl I've loved, no I am not 14 years old, I feel like this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Here's my dilemma: She only wants to be together once a week. Thats right, once a week. More than that is no good for her. That pisses me off as I want to see her more than once a week. I mean honestly, I have never been in a relationship where I see my girlfriend once a week.

What should I do? I've talked to her about it and she just right out tells me that more than once a week is too much for her. I am thinking of breaking up with her because of this, but I feel it is a stupid reason to break up.

Impress me with advice, supernerds.
 
Something's up.
If you both have busy schedules and you could ONLY see each other once a week because of that, that's different.

But.. to choose that? That's really stupid. She's being shady.
 
I am not sure what you should do. I mean if she only wants to see you once a week then it means she isn't as much into the relationship as you are.

I disagree that breaking up with her because of this would be a bad reason, since you two are obviously looking for different things.

I can't really tell you what to do, I can only offer you my point of view on this.
 
Let me take care of some things.

1) Stick it in her pooper
2) Nudes
3) She's a whore + will cheat on you
4) CAG isn't just full of nerds, we get girls too
5) CAG is full of nerds, you shouldn't ask advice here

Now that I've got the smartass comments out of the way, the responses should be cleaner.
 
If you're not happy with the way things are and she's not willing to change then get the hell out. Stop making your life complicated when nothing is there to make things complicated.
 
Ah, something I forgot to mention which is an important piece of the puzzle.

She is busy with school twice a week. Thats it. Maybe 4 times if you include her doing homework. After that, she is free for the rest of the week. She literally tells me how she just hung around the house all day long and watched movies throughout the whole weekend. She seriously has time for me, she just doesn't give me much.

It isn't that she can't stand my company either, because I am really quiet and out of the way. I don't bother her or anything, she just likes to be alone.

I just don't fucking get it anymore. How am I supposed to live with a person like this in the future? Thats what bugs me the most. 10 years will go by and she won't want to see me for over a day and we will be living seperatly? It's weird to think about that.
 
Sounds like you may need to offer her an ultimatum. She doesn't sound like she's going to grow too much maturity wise for at least a few years and if you can't wait that long move on. Why do you feel that you love someone who doesn't want to be with you? Chances are there's someone out there you'll love as much as her and who will spend time with you. My two cents.
 
Shady shit indeed.... I need to know more info... age, friend involvement, past relationships she might still have in contact, job situation, school maybe, how long you been together.... etc...

Right now I say drop her ass.... but maybe there is SOME reason
 
Busy with school is no excuse. If she cares about you, it shouldn't be hard to make a little time to see you. Even if it is for coffee/30 minutes a few times a week, it still counts. Relationships are about sacrifice and compromise, but it doesn't sound like she is up for doing any of that. I've worked 3 jobs and went to school at the same time, yet managed to keep a steady girlfriend...90% fun and 10% work otherwise it's not worth it...Keep us informed though
 
After reading your second post about how she hung out "by herself" the weekend and did "nothing"... there's something major going on .

Drop her like we dropped bombs on Hiroshima.
 
[quote name='danny90044']Some other dude is getting a slice of you pie.
sorry if that makes u mad, not trying to be mean.[/quote]

without question... in my mind.
 
You all make valid and interesting points. Very mature and unusual for this type of thread. I thank moxio for getting the gunk out of the way. =P

She doesn't talk to other guys, I'm sure of it. She's just an odd bird. Like, very spoiled and what not. Lives by herself at the age of 21, not a lot of worries, etc.

It's just tough... I know I shouldn't be bothered since it's been 4 months of dating and thats nothing compared to some relationships, but I really care about her. At the same time, I sometimes question how committed she is to me. I honestly think she cares more about the dog sometimes than me.
 
Looks like this is going no where. Realistically you'll probably stay in this relationship for a few more months until one of you ends it.
 
So there are no problems in her little life? I don't think she cares about you as much as you care about her.

Face it, people get uninterested as time goes on. The only time she'll call you is when the batteries in her vibrator dies. Don't waste your time on her.
 
[quote name='vanilla_shakin_it']Looks like this is going no where. Realistically you'll probably stay in this relationship for a few more months until one of you ends it.[/quote]

You're probably right. I should just pull the break up trigger. :lol:
 
I say go on step ahead of her. Say you want a break. Not a break UP. But just a break. Some time off.

See her reaction. If she's way cool with it..then..yeah you probably just did her a favor.
See where I'm getting at?
 
[quote name='lilboo']I say go on step ahead of her. Say you want a break. Not a break UP. But just a break. Some time off.

See her reaction. If she's way cool with it..then..yeah you probably just did her a favor.
See where I'm getting at?[/quote]

I know what you're saying. I've sorta tried that already. I told her we were breaking up and she flipped out so we didn't. Thats what fucks me up. She loves me, I know she does, but she's obsessed with this being alone bullshit.

lol @ cheaters and vibrator batteries. :D I wouldn't be surprised that she calls me only for when that happens.

Women are crazy. =(
 
From the sound of her reclusive nature, it doesn't sound like she keeps very many good friends...if she does have a friend or two she's close to that you have a good relationship with, I would turn to that person for their opinion...if she's just an odd-bird as you say...then...maybe it's just her being wierd. I've seen/heard of stranger things.
 
the only realistic thing to do is to kill her and dump her body in a lake. If she lives far away wear a diaper on the way to kill her, you dont have time to stop for bathroom breaks.
 
That's just who she is and it doesn't seem like you can change her. If you can't stand it then yall were never meant to be together.
 
[quote name='Cracka']wear a diaper on the way to kill her, you dont have time to stop for bathroom breaks.[/QUOTE]

Not regular ones either, use the Astronaut brand, and put a banana peel on your head.

That's strange she would say she cares, acting the way she does. Does she ever call you to do something, or do you do all of the planning/work in the relationship?
 
Dude you need to have the balls to take the reins on this. Tell her what you want and be firm with her. Crack her ass (more ways than one). It's the only way you can win here. Stop taking these BS answers like "take a break". Tell her what you want and it's your way or the highway! Say you don't have to hang out everyday you just want sex 4 times a week.
 
[quote name='SteveMcQ']Very shady, OP. First thought that came to mind is that she's juggling you with someone else.[/quote]

That was my impression as well.

I'd pay her a suprise visit during one of those "oh, I just watched movies all day" days.
 
as much as you want to see her it may pain you to do this, but try going a few weeks without seeing her and see how it makes her feel, maybe the next 2 weeks you guys are supposed to get together make plans for those days. And if she feels no worst for ware then she doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about her and you'll never be happy.
 
Haha, some of these responses are great. Honestly if I were you I would tell her that you want to spend more time with her, since that's obviously what you want. If she doesn't like or want that, and won't compromise, send her packing. Don't waste time on someone that isn't compromising for you, when you've made sacrifices for her. Once a week is ridiculous, unless you weren't in close proximity or had busy and different schedules...even then, once a week is just plain silliness once you're past the dating phase.
 
I'm just amazed that "stick it in her pooper" didn't show up until six posts into this thread. Way to be mature CAG!
 
Two thoughts come to mind:

1. She's seeing someone else.

2. Maybe you're "dating" her but she's not "dating" you? You see each other once a week? You sure this isn't a close friendship, maybe even a "friends with benefits" thing? I'd tend to think a serious relationship would involve more time together than just once a week, especially if there's nothing that important or pressing on each other's schedule. It's possible she's either not taking this seriously enough or you're taking it too seriously. You may want to clarify where your relationship is at and where each of you envision it going. You two could be miles apart on those issues.


Or, she could just be a loner by nature and wants time alone more often than not and this is really nothing to worry about; it's just who she is. However, given the information provided those two scenarios immediately popped into my head. But what do I know? I'm a geek who visits a forum based around the concept of saving money regarding video game purchases.
 
If you're not happy with the way things are and she's not willing to change then get the hell out.
Click to expand...
Seconded. Four months of a relationship should give you some sense of progress, and if she has the time and deliberately chooses not to spend some time with you, I'd say talk with her about it, but if she doesn't want to even make the effort (sounds like she doesn't), then end it.

Just showing up to a relationship isn't the same as putting the effort into making it grow, and you most definitely need two people for that.

All that aside, I'm curious: What makes her the best girlfriend ever, and makes you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with her?

If you're as serious about that it sounds after only four months, maybe she's trying to get you to ease up but not drive you off. Just enough to hopefully calm you down a bit, you know?

~HotShotX
 
I had a similar situation happen when I started college. My then-gf didn't want to see me more than once a week, and refused to spend the weekend or whatnot. So, I ended that.
 
Honestly, just sit her down and explain your worries. Ask her if you see a future that includes you, if not, goodbye baby.
 
[quote name='Theduck']I know what you're saying. I've sorta tried that already. I told her we were breaking up and she flipped out so we didn't. Thats what fucks me up. She loves me, I know she does, but she's obsessed with this being alone bullshit.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like she's toying with you to me.
 
Well I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said. You should talk to her about it and find out what she's thinking and why exactly she doesn't want to see you more than once a week. You say that when you're with her you're "quiet and out of the way" so what the hell exactly are you doing together that one day a week? Sitting on opposite ends of a couch watching TV? :p

She's 21 and living by herself with hardly anything to do, so honestly you two should be fucking like all the time (I'm exaggerating, but you know what I mean). If she doesn't have friends and really just watches TV all the time and doesn't want to spend time with you then I'd be kinda worried about her. Maybe she has some self-confidence issues or something and doesn't think she's worth spending time with or she's on the opposite end and doesn't think anybody is good enough for her. I think you should just go surprise her like somebody else said to see what she's doing and if she really doesn't want to see you and you don't think she has a problem that you can help her with then there's no point in continuing the relationship.

EDIT: Yay, my post is second-to-last, yet somehow the most recent, awesome.
 
[quote name='Theduck']I told her we were breaking up and she flipped out so we didn't.[/QUOTE]

Well, you now have established who has power in the relationship. Shamefully, it isn't you.

End it now. It's not salvageable.

Make a complete break, no questions asked. If she comes back to you still after a few days or a week or so, work it out *ONLY* if you clearly make your demands known and they are accepted. The moment things return to the state they are in now, go and don't look back.

Which is also my "real world advice" to you, since I can't fathom, in the slightest, how in the world you think she isn't seeing someone else.
 
[quote name='Scrubsy']Honestly, just sit her down and explain your worries. Ask her if you see a future that includes you, if not, goodbye baby.[/QUOTE]

This sounds like a great approach. Right now, you two guys want different things out of the relationship, and if she can't compromise with you, realize that your future together is at best, stressful, and at worse, there just is no future with such different ideas on what should be going on.
 
Dont take shit from anyone.
She isnt being fair.
She is not communicating.
Shes avoiding you.
Whatever you are getting out of this relationship doesnt deserve you losing your self-respect.
No one is better than anybody else to get their crap.

Do you have a role model? how would your role model deal with this situation?

Dont take shit from anyone.
Dont give her shit either when you give her the inevitable boot (unless she cleans up her act).
That way you dont lose your temper and make bad judgement calls later on when she asks for make-up-make-out or similar.
 
I would like to present the advice of one Jay-Z...
"Thug 'em, hug 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, cause I don't trust or need 'em"


And let's think about this logically...you're really only happy in your relationship 1 outta 7 days a week.
 
IMO, being around at least once a week sounds pretty good. Due to my busy schedule, I'd probably only be able to be with my girlfriend once every week or two, if I had one. As long as she isn't looking at other people, that's okay.
 
[quote name='The Mana Knight']IMO, being around at least once a week sounds pretty good. Due to my busy schedule, I'd probably only be able to be with my girlfriend once every week or two, if I had one. As long as she isn't looking at other people, that's okay.[/QUOTE]

It sounds pretty good until you've actually been in a relationship.
 
[quote name='Theduck']Long story short:

I've talked to her about it and she just right out tells me that more than once a week is too much for her. I am thinking of breaking up with her because of this, but I feel it is a stupid reason to break up.[/quote]

Did you tell her that seeing her only once a week isn't enough for her? And people have broken up over dumber things; for examples, tune your TV to any court-tv drama or Jerry Springer. In the gist of things, you're at the point in a relationship where things are beginning to surface and it's not too late to bail out. Four months isn't too long.

[quote name='lordwow']It sounds pretty good until you've actually been in a relationship.[/quote]

Sadly, I must concur with this statement.
 
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