How can I silence the sounds of "those who hump from above"?

danh920

danh920

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Here's the background 1st off. My upstairs neighbor is pretty banging and she has a new guy over every week. Her bedroom is directly above mine and my girlfriend's and it's not so much her being a screamer or anything like that, but the insulation is just terrible in the building that I live in and I can hear anything she does up there. She's honestly doing nothing obnoxious or belligerant, I just can't sleep to the squeeking of her bed as she gets drilled. Last night it was louder than the tv at normal volume.

I found at college that hanging tapestries and flags on the ceiling did a good job of absorbing other sounds. Problem with that is the ceiling fan.

I don't wish to resort to earplugs unless necessary. She's a pretty cool person and I don't feel like dealing with any drama with the neighbors.

What can I do to help kill these sounds. Is there like foam padding that I could buy for her and ask her to put it under her bed that would actually help to dampen these sounds?

This is a serious issue and while I encourage anybody to have fun with it, I really appreciate any input.
 
Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.
 
this seems very serious i have your remedy
confront her with my phone #
then tell her that its urgent she make the call
Dr. cag1000 will respond then promptly to upstate NY 4 the weekend
 
[quote name='danh920']...I really appreciate any input.[/quote]

Sounds like she does too.

What about some ambient sound on a stereo with a "sleep" timer.
 
[quote name='Quackzilla']Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.[/quote] :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
[quote name='Quackzilla']Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.[/quote]

He said he has a girlfriend....
 
Take a broom and bang on the ceiling in unison, if that fails, throw your body at the ceiling and hump it yourself.
 
[quote name='Slipknot9762'][quote name='Quackzilla']Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.[/quote] :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:[/quote]

That was not very funny...at all.
 
Argh, I hate that. My neighbor last year would get it on like twice a week, and it would drive me nuts. (My problem was her noises, not thumping though.)

Is there a landlord sort of person you can talk to? Good luck with your problem.
 
Thanks quack, you're a class act

There's a landlord but I'd rather not get him involved, like I said, the less drama, the better.

I'm fine once I fall asleep, it's my girlfriend who's the light sleeper, it happened at 2am last week apparantly.
 
I would say if you dont want to contact the landlord in person, maybe an anonymous letter to the landlord or your upstairs neighbor, might do the trick. Im sure other nearby neighbors can hear it too, she'll never now who complained.

Or use a tape recorder and record her....sessions...and leave the tape anonymously in her mailbox with a label, saying please be quieter or we all can hear you, or this is how loud you sound to your neighbors.
 
If she's as cool as you say, then she'll be cool with you just talking to her. Something like "Hey, I don't know if you know this, but there's not a lot of insulation between floors of the building. I hear a lot of what goes on up there, and it sounds like you're having sex, which, well, good for you. The problem is that it's so loud in my apartment that it drowns out the TV. Would it be possible for you to maybe tighten the screws/oil your bedframe so it doesn't squeak so much?"

Either she'll be cool about it and try to make less noise, or she'll be embarassed about it and stop altogether for a while.
 
Well, chances are she'll run out of guys eventually and the noises will stop. Really, how big can the male population of Buffalo be?
 
My comment is this. Do you really believe that she thinks they are being quiet eoough when they beat the cakes? From the sound of it this place is not insulated good enough. She probably hears other noises as well. If she is bringing a new guy over all the time she can't be too hard to talk to. Tell her to either chill out or go all out. There is no reason for their performance to be in between.
 
I've gone thru similiar experiences and I have found that if you put a fan in your bedroom and run it, it's a nice static noise that drowns out anything else that may be going on in other apartments.

Good luck
 
y dont u turn on the ceiling fan while they go at it..ceiling fans make thumping noise on the floor above, so many the bangin the girl upstairs will get competitive " JEEBUS!! THIS GUY DOWNSTAIRS IS GETTIN IT SO GOOD! THE CEILING IS THUMPING!" soo..he'll do watever he can to "beat u" in terms of noise..and if he goes hard enuff..he'll knock ur ceiling fan down..and BAM!! INJURY LAWSUIT!! everyone wins :whistle2:D
 
[quote name='danh920']Here's the background 1st off. My upstairs neighbor is pretty banging and she has a new guy over every week. Her bedroom is directly above mine and my girlfriend's and it's not so much her being a screamer or anything like that, but the insulation is just terrible in the building that I live in and I can hear anything she does up there. She's honestly doing nothing obnoxious or belligerant, I just can't sleep to the squeeking of her bed as she gets drilled. Last night it was louder than the tv at normal volume.

I found at college that hanging tapestries and flags on the ceiling did a good job of absorbing other sounds. Problem with that is the ceiling fan.

I don't wish to resort to earplugs unless necessary. She's a pretty cool person and I don't feel like dealing with any drama with the neighbors.

What can I do to help kill these sounds. Is there like foam padding that I could buy for her and ask her to put it under her bed that would actually help to dampen these sounds?

This is a serious issue and while I encourage anybody to have fun with it, I really appreciate any input.[/quote]

pm me her address, i also live in the city that always sleeps, so if need be, i can go over to her house and hook up with her, make her my girl and we will never have sex again.
 
[quote name='jalu6']Well, chances are she'll run out of guys eventually and the noises will stop. Really, how big can the male population of Buffalo be?[/quote]


large man, large. there is so much sausage here it isnt even funny. about as funny as that beat it comment up there but not as funny as humping halo 2 corpses. the whole comp lab looked at me when i laughed.
 
Just arrange to "coincidentally" take out your trash when she's escorting the meat-of-the-day upstairs and strike up a casual conversation about her genital warts.
 
[quote name='thegamer4787'][quote name='Slipknot9762'][quote name='Quackzilla']Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.[/quote] :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:[/quote]

That was not very funny...at all.[/quote]

Not funny at all.
 
Well, the two obvious solutions are:

1) Invite her down for a threesome (you may want to clear this with your gf first).

or

2) You and your gf can just time your sessions to coincide with hers. (Optionally, if you outlast her partner, start screaming to your gf either "Who da man?" or "Who's your daddy?").

The less obvious solution is to invite her down to your apartment for dinner with you and your gf. While she is sitting at the table, ask her to excuse you and your gf for a moment. Break into her apartment and start the festivities. If you are really lucky, this could lead to (1), but at the very least she will be able to hear how much the noise travels.

Glad I could help. No charge this time.
 
[quote name='bignick']start banging her, so that way the noise wont bother you.[/quote]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Try getting a porno. When she starts getting loud, put it in and raise the volume. Eventually she will hear you and hopefully wonder if you can hear her. This will then lead to 2 scenarios:
1. She gets so embarrased by what she thinks is your sounds, she stops and monitors her future moaning.
or
2. She hears the movie, thinks its you, invites you and your girlfriend upstairs, and you all become the founders of one of the largest swinger clubs in Buffalo NY.

Eh sorry, I just finished watching people vs Larry Flint.
Good luck
 
Create one of those form letters that you get from infected sexual partners that say " The person you slept with has tested positive for HIV " If she has that many partners, i bet she doesn't remember thier names.
That should stop her for a while or at least until she gets her own results back from the clinic. :twisted:

I use to live in an apt with a gy above who had a girl at least 4 or 5 times every week, I am pretty sure it was a differnt girl everytime also. Guy was the mullet king of the world though, fugly and kind of an ass, I guess the girls really dug it. AAAAnyway, i too had the same problem as you and after 2 months it drove me crazy. Everytime I heard it I would contemplate going up there and shooting him. Do not let it go or it will get to you or your gf like it did me. Take care of it now before you think murder everytime you hear the sound of a bed banging.

I also think a anonymous letter to the manager or on her door might help. If it doesnt, might have to resort to calling the police since its after hours. It shouldnt have to be you who adjusts, she should have the decency to keep it quiet. You can't think banging the bed against the wall wont be heard in another apt. She is just being rude.
Whatever happens, good luck, I know where your coming from. It's a difficult situation.
 
I will end up talking to her and hopefully she's reasonable

I like the anonymous letter idea but the problem with that is there are only 4 units in the builing, her above and a friend of her's next door above, and beside my girl and is a sweet old couple who probably cannot hear a thing. It would not be that anonymous unfortunately.

I like the HIV letters and genital warts, funny stuff!
 
[quote name='Quackzilla']Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.[/quote]

Of course you meant offense. Noone has ever said, "No offense" and not meant offense. It is just a pussy's way of getting out from the assholish stuff they said. Also, next time read a little closer since he said he has a girlfriend.

God you are an ass.
 
Do what I would do and invite her to some coffee down stairs. Hang pictures over your bed ahead of time and show her your house. When she looks at the pictures, tell her to look at a tiny detail in one of them.....tell her she can stand on the bed.

When she does, she'll say she cant see what you're talking about. Get on the bed with her and point it out....nibble her earlobe and the whore is yours. Tell her that this was all a ploy to get her in your bed and she'll probably laugh, because shes a whore and love fucking.

Then move down on the bed and start caressing her dirty, 6 different finger printed titties and work you way down. Unbutton her jeans with your teeth but dont lick the box cause you'll probably get "Insta-AIDS".

Bust out a jimmie hat.....or if your dont have one, I'm sure you can pull one of the used ones out of her cooch. I'm sure she has plenty.

Start bangin.....tell her to roll over and support her wieght with her knees and drive the beef-bus from tuna town to cinnamon-ring plaza. Bust that for a while and tell her you wanna bust a hat trick and she'll of course know what this means cause she's probably done some porn work in her time....

Then rip the jimmie hat off and drop an ounce and a half of throat yogart in her hair and tell her " You my Pig Bitch!"

Then tell her "Get the fuck out, whore!"

Trust me she'll come back tommarrow for more and you'll be able to live out all you fantasies and you'll never hear the upstairs apt again.
 
I'm in college now, but you can do what I do to teach noisy neighbors a lesson.

At the begining of the semester, the people next to be would play rap music VERY loudly, at any hour of the day or night. So I thought of a good way to get back at them, and after a week of doing this, they haven't turned their music up ONCE. It's been a good 2 months too.

Turn your speakers all the way up, and face them towards the offending wall (in your case, you would have to ducktape some speakers to the ceiling). Then, get a good collection of songs that would be appropriate for the situation. For example: "Whip it" by Devo, "The Final Countdown" by Europe, the Benny Hill theme song, etc.

Use this music to combat their noise. It worked for me, it can work for you as well!
 
[quote name='jalu6']Well, chances are she'll run out of guys eventually and the noises will stop. Really, how big can the male population of Buffalo be?[/quote]

doesn't DLF live in Buffalo? In that case, I'd say you should just be glad HE hasn't been over there yet...
 
Thats a very very scary thought! Him actuall getting some or him naked I don't know whats worse! He better power down that sub first!
 
[quote name='guessed']Well, the two obvious solutions are:

1) Invite her down for a threesome (you may want to clear this with your gf first).

or

2) You and your gf can just time your sessions to coincide with hers. (Optionally, if you outlast her partner, start screaming to your gf either "Who da man?" or "Who's your daddy?").

The less obvious solution is to invite her down to your apartment for dinner with you and your gf. While she is sitting at the table, ask her to excuse you and your gf for a moment. Break into her apartment and start the festivities. If you are really lucky, this could lead to (1), but at the very least she will be able to hear how much the noise travels.

Glad I could help. No charge this time.[/quote]

These are all good choices. But seriously go for point# 2.
 
[quote name='Mookyjooky']PS: No Offense[/quote]

So you are the guy that writes all the Dear Penthouse letters nice to meet you.
 
[quote name='Tromack'][quote name='Mookyjooky']PS: No Offense[/quote]

I hate you. :D[/quote]

I Love you.....like the spitting wall son I never wanted.
 
[quote name='evilmax17']

Turn your speakers all the way up, and face them towards the offending wall (in your case, you would have to ducktape some speakers to the ceiling). Then, get a good collection of songs that would be appropriate for the situation. For example: "Whip it" by Devo, "The Final Countdown" by Europe, the Benny Hill theme song, etc.

Use this music to combat their noise. It worked for me, it can work for you as well![/quote]

POLKAS! Play polkas full volume. They'll end up killing themselves.

Or you could paint a really large red "A" on his door.
 
[quote name='Mookyjooky']Do what I would do and invite her to some coffee down stairs. Hang pictures over your bed ahead of time and show her your house. When she looks at the pictures, tell her to look at a tiny detail in one of them.....tell her she can stand on the bed.

When she does, she'll say she cant see what you're talking about. Get on the bed with her and point it out....nibble her earlobe and the whore is yours. Tell her that this was all a ploy to get her in your bed and she'll probably laugh, because shes a whore and love shaq-fuing.

Then move down on the bed and start caressing her dirty, 6 different finger printed titties and work you way down. Unbutton her jeans with your teeth but dont lick the box cause you'll probably get "Insta-AIDS".

Bust out a jimmie hat.....or if your dont have one, I'm sure you can pull one of the used ones out of her cooch. I'm sure she has plenty.

Start bangin.....tell her to roll over and support her wieght with her knees and drive the beef-bus from tuna town to cinnamon-ring plaza. Bust that for a while and tell her you wanna bust a hat trick and she'll of course know what this means cause she's probably done some porn work in her time....

Then rip the jimmie hat off and drop an ounce and a half of throat yogart in her hair and tell her " You my Pig Bitch!"

Then tell her "Get the shaq-fu out, whore!"

Trust me she'll come back tommarrow for more and you'll be able to live out all you fantasies and you'll never hear the upstairs apt again.[/quote]


...... wow .... just wow.
 
when I lived in an Apt, we have noisy upstairs neighbors as well. God I hated it, it drove me absolutly insane. I HAD to rent a house. We had the same problem, but it was a bunch of sausages that liked to wrestle with each other. Once my roommates and I setup the drum kit, bass and guitar amps and just started going to town. 10 min later they came down to tell us that we rocked and to keep it up. Again let me say this: Move out!
 
[quote name='Grave_Addiction'][quote name='Mookyjooky']Do what I would do and invite her to some coffee down stairs. Hang pictures over your bed ahead of time and show her your house. When she looks at the pictures, tell her to look at a tiny detail in one of them.....tell her she can stand on the bed.

When she does, she'll say she cant see what you're talking about. Get on the bed with her and point it out....nibble her earlobe and the whore is yours. Tell her that this was all a ploy to get her in your bed and she'll probably laugh, because shes a whore and love shaq-fuing.

Then move down on the bed and start caressing her dirty, 6 different finger printed titties and work you way down. Unbutton her jeans with your teeth but dont lick the box cause you'll probably get "Insta-AIDS".

Bust out a jimmie hat.....or if your dont have one, I'm sure you can pull one of the used ones out of her cooch. I'm sure she has plenty.

Start bangin.....tell her to roll over and support her wieght with her knees and drive the beef-bus from tuna town to cinnamon-ring plaza. Bust that for a while and tell her you wanna bust a hat trick and she'll of course know what this means cause she's probably done some porn work in her time....

Then rip the jimmie hat off and drop an ounce and a half of throat yogart in her hair and tell her " You my Pig Bitch!"

Then tell her "Get the shaq-fu out, whore!"

Trust me she'll come back tommarrow for more and you'll be able to live out all you fantasies and you'll never hear the upstairs apt again.[/quote]


...... wow .... just wow.[/quote]

I think thats the second time I got that from you. Oya...what is you avatar from?
 
[quote name='Quackzilla']Hanging flags and curtains only reduces echo, don't bother.

You seem like a sad and lonely person, why not beat off to it?

It will probably be the closest you ever get to real sex.

No offense.[/quote]

More quality posts from Quackzilla, after the whole crap in BigLebowski's thread.
 
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