I'm new at this dating thing and I need some advice

[quote name='jPoD']Yeah, she knows i'm interested in her, as I think shes interested in me. It's kind of win-win since we both lack experience. And no, she isnt a prude catholic girl, thank god. My parents would murder me. Jewish :)[/quote]
That shouldn't hold you back from dating outside your race/religion. Besides, unless you're intent on marrying the girl, it's really none of your parents' bidnezz anyhoo. I've dated many, many Jewish girls, despite my Catholic background, and I've heard the word 'shlameal' next to my name uttered enough times by a ton of jewish parents to know they probably didn't think too highly of me.:roll: Hell, my own father said he'd disown me if I ever dated a black girl. I dated one just to piss him off.

Thanks for the help. I appreciate it. I'll let ya know how things work out :D
No problem.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']That shouldn't hold you back from dating outside your race/religion. Besides, unless you're intent on marrying the girl, it's really none of your parents' bidnezz anyhoo. I've dated many, many Jewish girls, despite my Catholic background, and I've heard the word 'shlameal' next to my name uttered enough times by a ton of jewish parents to know they probably didn't think too highly of me.:roll: Hell, my own father said he'd disown me if I ever dated a black girl. I dated one just to piss him off.


No problem.[/QUOTE]

Jewish parents are very protective, esp. of their daughters. I'm sorry they called you a F-Up. That was kinda mean, but it happens. Mine arent like that :)
As for the religion thing, I guess I wouldnt mind goin out with a goy (god knows i'd go out with my friend's gf in a second :p), but as for marriage, i'm content on marrying a Jew.
 
[quote name='jPoD']Jewish parents are very protective, esp. of their daughters. I'm sorry they called you a F-Up. That was kinda mean, but it happens. Mine arent like that :)
As for the religion thing, I guess I wouldnt mind goin out with a goy (god knows i'd go out with my friend's gf in a second :p), but as for marriage, i'm content on marrying a Jew.[/quote]

Oh, don't feel sorry for me. Dating their hot daughters was more than enough of a satisfaction of payback for namecalling. Besides, I live by the adage, "sticks & stones". Also, I don't think that's just jewish parents. I've heard that from many parents of many girls I've dated in high school including Catholic. :roll: In retrospect, they were probably right at the time as I was a dick in high school. It's easier now that I don't have to deal w/ parents as much since I stick to girls in their 20s & out of their parents' homes & I try very hard to hold back my assholish tendencies. Call it a sign of maturity.:lol:
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Ok, even it's a group outing, you can still employ the methods I said like telling a crazy story & touching her hand or arm at the right time. One thing though, does the girl know you're interested in her or does she see you as a friend or your friend's friend only? If it's the former then skip below to the next section; if not, keep reading. If she sees you only as a friend, then it might be a bit too late. As I (and a few others) have said, when you meet a girl, you have to make your intent known within a day or so of meeting her. It's possible to turn her from a friend to a fubu to a relationship gf but the work involved, to me, is not worth the effort as there's so many other receptive girls. I'm not saying to go after easy (read: slutty) girls but that the effort & consequences involved in converting a girl who you're already friends w/ & probably sees you as almost brother-like is too much that it's better to have her as a friend or a wingwoman who can introduce you to her friends.

How do I show that I am interested in a girl? I just met this new girl.. but have no idea if she has a bf or not.. high school and all that never know. :bomb:
 
[quote name='assassinX']How do I show that I am interested in a girl? I just met this new girl.. but have no idea if she has a bf or not.. high school and all that never know. :bomb:[/quote]

The simplest way - ask her out. Doesn't have to be an official date but it should be somewhere fun - for both of you. Sometime later during the outing, ask her if she has a bf or seeing someone. If so, shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well, tell your bf he's a lucky guy to have such an interesting gf. And, on the off-chance you guys aren't together anymore, gimme a call." Then move on to the next cutie. Rinse repeat until you get a girl.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']The simplest way - ask her out. Doesn't have to be an official date but it should be somewhere fun - for both of you. Sometime later during the outing, ask her if she has a bf or seeing someone. If so, shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well, tell your bf he's a lucky guy to have such an interesting gf. And, on the off-chance you guys aren't together anymore, gimme a call." Then move on to the next cutie. Rinse repeat until you get a girl.[/QUOTE]

Boner!
 
Dating women of all races opens up the "field" greatly. :)

But if you're intent on dating only a jewish girl, that's cool too.

JPod - just out of curiosity, are you 21 yet? (i.e., of drinking age?) A little alcohol always helps inexperienced people with breaking down inhibitions.
 
[quote name='E-Z-B']Dating women of all races opens up the "field" greatly. :)

But if you're intent on dating only a jewish girl, that's cool too.

JPod - just out of curiosity, are you 21 yet? (i.e., of drinking age?) A little alcohol always helps inexperienced people with breaking down inhibitions.[/QUOTE]

I take that as a compliment :) But no, I'll be 18 next week. So now if I dont get a girl, I can just buy porn. Yay!!!!!!!! :p
 
[quote name='jPoD']I take that as a compliment :) But no, I'll be 18 next week. So now if I dont get a girl, I can just buy porn. Yay!!!!!!!! :p[/QUOTE]

Oh, okay. Group dates like that can be tough. You're better off getting her one-on-one at some point, then asking her if she wants to hang out just the two of you sometime, like a movie or something.
 
[quote name='E-Z-B']Oh, okay. Group dates like that can be tough. You're better off getting her one-on-one at some point, then asking her if she wants to hang out just the two of you sometime, like a movie or something.[/quote]
Yeah... eventually but don't discount the benefits of a group date. Group dates are great in that the comfort level is distributed amongst all the participants instead of just 2 people so it's a bit easier to engage in conversation. But once the ice is broken, that's when you can start making moves towards creating an 'attractive' environment by what you say & do so that the work you put in the group date will benefit you when you inevitably ask her for a one-on-one date as, even though it will be a first date, the comfort level is higher than normal since you've already establish a friendly rapport w/ the girl.

Damn that's one long run-on sentence.
 
[quote name='E-Z-B']Oh, okay. Group dates like that can be tough. You're better off getting her one-on-one at some point, then asking her if she wants to hang out just the two of you sometime, like a movie or something.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, i'm gonna work on that. I havent even met her yet :p
I can probably work on alcohol since my parents let me drink whatever I want :)
 
[quote name='0192837465']Time marches on. How's it going theduck? Any success stories?



lol pee in her butt...you sicko! :)[/quote]
You never know... some kinky peeps out there.

So yeah, she was at work today and we pretty much talked every chance we got. Now I don't know if she's talking to me like a friend, or talking to me like she wants to be more than friends. Aside from that, she called me after work and we talked for a few mins till she had to go to bed. She was talking about some myspace guy that befriended her which I really didn't care about, but I listened. So that's the update, no success unless you want to count these events as so.

Speaking of jewish girls, she is one and her parents seem a bit crazy.
 
[quote name='Theduck']You never know... some kinky peeps out there.

So yeah, she was at work today and we pretty much talked every chance we got. Now I don't know if she's talking to me like a friend, or talking to me like she wants to be more than friends. Aside from that, she called me after work and we talked for a few mins till she had to go to bed. She was talking about some myspace guy that befriended her which I really didn't care about, but I listened. So that's the update, no success unless you want to count these events as so.

Speaking of jewish girls, she is one and her parents seem a bit crazy.[/QUOTE]

We're not all like that. Well, a lot are. Luckily my parents arent :)
 
[quote name='Theduck']You never know... some kinky peeps out there.

So yeah, she was at work today and we pretty much talked every chance we got. Now I don't know if she's talking to me like a friend, or talking to me like she wants to be more than friends. Aside from that, she called me after work and we talked for a few mins till she had to go to bed. She was talking about some myspace guy that befriended her which I really didn't care about, but I listened. So that's the update, no success unless you want to count these events as so.

Speaking of jewish girls, she is one and her parents seem a bit crazy.[/quote]

Did you actually ask her if she wanted to hang out sometime? Even if myspace guy doesn't end up being a rival, that's always that possibility w/ any passably cute & interesting girl; it's unavoidable. If you don't take a slightly more aggressive stance (aggressive in that you're more determined to go on a date w/ her; not physically aggressive), you're gonna lose your chance. If that happens, the only consolation I can give you is that there's a billion other girls out there so you might wanna start looking. In your shoes, I would be looking for another girl anyway as the search is part of the fun. It also has the added benefit of making you more relaxed & confident since you have a safety net (read: another girl). This results in you not looking overly needy or desperate. And nothing scares a girl away quicker than desperation. They can smell that 10 miles away.
 
Jewelz sees it like this.

just be yourself...dont worry if you are attracted to her or not...if you change the way you act just because you fear she wont like you...then its already starting the relationship on a bad foot...just be yourself...eventually the truth will come out whether you like it or not.

dont mind the small things...let her know that she can pass gas in front of you and it wont be that big of a deal...let her know that she can throw a bomb and you wont make her feel uncomfortable...start removing those layers that people love to add on as pressure...let her know that makeup or no makeup...whatever its cool...just hang out and have a good time...thats what its all about...and if it works...everything will fall into place.
 
[quote name='Jewelz23']Jewelz sees it like this.

just be yourself...dont worry if you are attracted to her or not...if you change the way you act just because you fear she wont like you...then its already starting the relationship on a bad foot...just be yourself...eventually the truth will come out whether you like it or not.[/QUOTE]

That's a touch naive. For one thing, 'being yourself' is such a vague notion. The concept of 'self' changes depending on a number of factors such as age, career, social outlook, etc. For example, employees can't really talk to their boss the same way they banter w/ their friends because one wrongly phrase slip-up & the potential for being fired becomes reality. Another example, kids won't talk to their parents the same way they talk to their friends in school because "they're older, they don't understand anything at all." Yet in another example, using adult children as an example, adult children won't talk to their parents the same way as their friends because it's generally embarassing describing your latest sexual conquest to your mom (I'm not personally though my mom wishes I would be).

dont mind the small things...

He should very well mind the small things. The devil's in the details and a guy who remembers a necklace that a girl, in passing, mentioned she thought was nice gets that much more attractive.

let her know that she can pass gas in front of you and it wont be that big of a deal...let her know that she can throw a bomb and you wont make her feel uncomfortable...

Passing gas is not attractive at all. You do that when you want to gross out your friends or ate a bean burrito. And the point here is that he wants a romantic relationship - not another friend.

start removing those layers that people love to add on as pressure...

I agree that they should be removed but, romance requires comfort in another's presence and it's not the same comfort as one would find in one's friends. He can't achieve that by creating familiarity. That belongs under 'friends' not lovers. The familiarity of a lover is different due to its intimate nature - it's simply on a different level as a friend. You can have a lover as a friend but the opposite is seldom true. Any friends w/ benefits usually start out as lovers first before evolving into friendship with intimacy.

let her know that makeup or no makeup...whatever its cool...just hang out and have a good time...thats what its all about...and if it works...everything will fall into place.

Things only fall into place for very few people. That's why planning is necessary. It's necessary to increase a girl's comfort level around you so she isn't tense about intimate moments when they happen. I'm not just speaking of the sexual kind but also of the sort involving hugs, sneaked kisses, & other romantic such things. While you can't map out every human response, you can prepare for them. And a prepared romantic can succeed with anyone they so desire.
 
[quote name='Jewelz23']Jewelz sees it like this.

just be yourself...dont worry if you are attracted to her or not...if you change the way you act just because you fear she wont like you...then its already starting the relationship on a bad foot...just be yourself...eventually the truth will come out whether you like it or not.

dont mind the small things...let her know that she can pass gas in front of you and it wont be that big of a deal...let her know that she can throw a bomb and you wont make her feel uncomfortable...start removing those layers that people love to add on as pressure...let her know that makeup or no makeup...whatever its cool...just hang out and have a good time...thats what its all about...and if it works...everything will fall into place.[/QUOTE]

I'm gonna have to also add the ellipse is not to be used in the place of a period.

I know it has nothing to do with the topic at hand but this was a bit irritating to read, I'm glad Jaykrue broke it up. I'm sure you'll remark about how I should be quiet and that this is your "style" so whatever.

I had friends back in high school use ellipses constantly because they thought it "conveyed thought" and made them "look cool" but it just makes your posts look like a mess.

I don't think I'll post anything on topic since Jaykrue's advice is as good as it gets in this thread, past, present, or future.
 
[quote name='Jewelz23']whatever, i added my 2 cents. I dont take the net as seriously as some of you other guys do.

later.[/QUOTE]

chill out. The ellipse thing is a easy habit to get into, and I didn't even notice it until roufass said something. I doubt anyone else does either. He likes to point out other people's mistakes so he feels like the big dick on CAG. Don't mind it. It probably would be good to get over that habit of ellipsing everything, though.

I think you had a good point about not putting up fronts, but "being yourself" is just one of those phrases that doesn't really mean anything and easily becomes "don't try" when it comes to interacting with girls. Jaykrue has the right idea that your personality type does change in different social situations, with good reason. There's a reason you open the door for a lady, or pay her compliments, or are more physical with women then men.
 
man i never wouldda bet the kids on cheapass gamer had so much game...

wait they dont.

Just hang out with her
catch a movie at yours or her house...
throw the arm around...
when she looks at you (she will)
go 90% let her go the last 10%
if that bitch cant go the other 10% drop her on her ass and go to the bar
 
[quote name='D4rkN1ght']man i never wouldda bet the kids on cheapass gamer had so much game...

wait they dont.

Just hang out with her
catch a movie at yours or her house...
throw the arm around...
when she looks at you (she will)
go 90% let her go the last 10%
if that bitch cant go the other 10% drop her on her ass and go to the bar[/QUOTE]

Speak for yourself guido
 
[quote name='D4rkN1ght']man i never wouldda bet the kids on cheapass gamer had so much game...

wait they dont.

Just hang out with her
catch a movie at yours or her house...
throw the arm around...
when she looks at you (she will)
go 90% let her go the last 10%
if that bitch cant go the other 10% drop her on her ass and go to the bar[/QUOTE]

:roll:

Yeah, listen to this guy and you can do what he does. Catch a movie with his parents, followed by a wild night of scrabble every weekend.
 
[quote name='E-Z-B']:roll:

Yeah, listen to this guy and you can do what he does. Catch a movie with his parents, followed by a wild night of scrabble every weekend.[/quote]

Say what you want, but don't knock the scrabble. :lol: It's a great way to create subliminal messages that you want to hook up w/ the girl you're playing one-on-one with. Plus if you get x (8 points) and y (4 points) you can get a minimum of 12 points from the wory 'sexy' alone.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Say what you want, but don't knock the scrabble. :lol: It's a great way to create subliminal messages that you want to hook up w/ the girl you're playing one-on-one with. Plus if you get x (8 points) and y (4 points) you can get a minimum of 12 points from the wory 'sexy' alone.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, I meant scrabble with his parents. :lol:
 
[quote name='E-Z-B']:roll:

Yeah, listen to this guy and you can do what he does. Catch a movie with his parents, followed by a wild night of scrabble every weekend.[/QUOTE]

I play scrabble with my mom all the time. I've been playing it since I was little. Dont knock scrabble. It helps build vocabulary :)
 
[quote name='Theduck']You never know... some kinky peeps out there.

So yeah, she was at work today and we pretty much talked every chance we got. Now I don't know if she's talking to me like a friend, or talking to me like she wants to be more than friends. Aside from that, she called me after work and we talked for a few mins till she had to go to bed. She was talking about some myspace guy that befriended her which I really didn't care about, but I listened. So that's the update, no success unless you want to count these events as so.

Speaking of jewish girls, she is one and her parents seem a bit crazy.[/quote]

That's a clear sign that she's into you man.

Its either a) she's really into you and can't wait to go on a date with you OR

b) she's already put you in the 'friend' zone.

You need to make your move to find out what she really wants.
 
Again, thanks for all the comments.

About the friend zone, if I am in it I would deff like try to get out of it. Starting today I started working in another department in the same store, so it's kind of like we're not working together anymore. I find myself missing her, even tho i'm so close. I require more responsibility so I can't just go start chatting with her on the clock. This girl is crazy in the head because she comes brom a broken home, yet she cares for me and accepts who I am. I'm the closest guy to her, as far as friends go which is good, but I kind of want to try to be more than friends. I don't just go for it because I worry things will go wrong after I try. I don't want her to end up with an asshole and the thought of her going out with another guy in the future annoys me atm. I know it seems crazy probably, but she's really cool and easy going, which I've never seen before from a girl. Tommorow we have a store meeting at 6:30 AM, I told her I wanted to pick her up but hers is a little earlier meaning I have to wake up earlier to pick her up and get her there before I have to be there. I don't know why the fuck i'm doing this, and I wish I could find the answer because I feel that i'll end up getting hurt, as negative as that is.

Thanks for listening.
 
[quote name='Theduck']Again, thanks for all the comments.

About the friend zone, if I am in it I would deff like try to get out of it. Starting today I started working in another department in the same store, so it's kind of like we're not working together anymore. I find myself missing her, even tho i'm so close, I require more responsibility so I can't just go start chatting with her on the clock. This girl is crazy in the head because she comes brom a broken home, yet she cares for me and accepts who I am. I'm the closest guy to her, as far as friends go which is good, but I kind of want to try to be more than friends. I don't just go for it because I worry things will go wrong after I try. I don't want her to end up with an asshole and the thought of her going out with another guy in the future annoys me atm. I know it seems crazy probably, but she's really cool and easy going, which I've never seen before from a girl. Tommorow we have a store meeting at 6:30 AM, I told her I wanted to pick her up but hers is a little earlier meaning I have to wake up earlier to pick her up and get her there before I have to be there. I don't know why the fuck i'm doing this, and I wish I could find the answer because I feel that i'll end up getting hurt, as negative as that is.

Thanks for listening.[/quote]

If you're in the friend zone, I'm sorry to say you're already fucked. The longer you wait, the less and less your chances are of getting with her. The key to women is to make them want you, but you have to do your best to hide your sexual intentions, because nothing makes a woman want you more than acting disinterested.

And as far as getting up early to pick her up, by doing that you're only digging yourself deep and deeper. You're being too accommodating. A lot of guys think that doing little favors for women make them attracted to them, but actually the reverse is true. When you do things like this, women see right through it. It's like Chris Rock said, when a guy asks a woman if she can do her any favors, all he's doing is offering her some dick. It's a weird paradox, but in the courting stages, women are actually repelled when a guy shows too much obvious interest in her.

And as far as that getting hurt shit, do you honestly think that a woman is gonna pull out a knife and stab you in the balls if you approach her to talk? You have to get that mentality out of your head, because the worst thing a women can say if you approach her is "I'm not interested". I can tell you're the kind of guy who would get all sorts of negative thoughts in his head to the point that it would psyche you out into fearing rejection to the point that you give up before you even try.

Once you overcome that, thing will be much much easier.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']

Seriously though, there's no 'one best move'. It's highly situational. One time I went out w/ a girl & her friends bowling. She was up & hit everything but the 7 & 10 pins which is probably the most difficult shot to recover from. Anyway, she hit the 7 pin sending it into the 10. It was such an awesome shot, her friends & I cheered & screamed loud. I went up to her when she was jumping up & down and gave her a quick hug & kiss on the mouth. I held her hand & lead her back to sit w/ me, rubbing her hand w/ my thumb the whole way. Instead, when we got to the seats, she decided to sit in my lap and kiss me back until it was her or my turn. From that point on for the rest of the night she would sit in my lap after her turn bowling was finished. Of course, her friends told the both of us to get a room. :p Needless to say, when we got back to her apartment, we switched from bowling to baseball - I easily got to 3rd base thanks to the (little) work I put being affectionate in during bowling. Anyway, the point of my story was that it really depends on the situation. All the 'moves' I've mentioned are all techniques that can be applied at any given time such as slight brush on the arm after a good joke or interesting story. Smiling at the right time helps too.[/quote]

How long have you known the girl just wondering.
 
[quote name='assassinX']How long have you known the girl just wondering.[/quote]

If you're talking overall, I've know her for about 6 years. If you're talkin' about that particular episode, I'd known her only for about 2 days.

[quote name='Theduck']Again, thanks for all the comments.

About the friend zone, if I am in it I would deff like try to get out of it. Starting today I started working in another department in the same store, so it's kind of like we're not working together anymore. I find myself missing her, even tho i'm so close. I require more responsibility so I can't just go start chatting with her on the clock. This girl is crazy in the head because she comes brom a broken home, yet she cares for me and accepts who I am. I'm the closest guy to her, as far as friends go which is good, but I kind of want to try to be more than friends. I don't just go for it because I worry things will go wrong after I try. I don't want her to end up with an asshole and the thought of her going out with another guy in the future annoys me atm. I know it seems crazy probably, but she's really cool and easy going, which I've never seen before from a girl. Tommorow we have a store meeting at 6:30 AM, I told her I wanted to pick her up but hers is a little earlier meaning I have to wake up earlier to pick her up and get her there before I have to be there. I don't know why the fuck i'm doing this, and I wish I could find the answer because I feel that i'll end up getting hurt, as negative as that is.

Thanks for listening.[/quote]

[quote name='Purple Flames']If you're in the friend zone, I'm sorry to say you're already fucked. The longer you wait, the less and less your chances are of getting with her. The key to women is to make them want you, but you have to do your best to hide your sexual intentions, because nothing makes a woman want you more than acting disinterested.

And as far as getting up early to pick her up, by doing that you're only digging yourself deep and deeper. You're being too accommodating. A lot of guys think that doing little favors for women make them attracted to them, but actually the reverse is true. When you do things like this, women see right through it. It's like Chris Rock said, when a guy asks a woman if she can do her any favors, all he's doing is offering her some dick. It's a weird paradox, but in the courting stages, women are actually repelled when a guy shows too much obvious interest in her.

And as far as that getting hurt shit, do you honestly think that a woman is gonna pull out a knife and stab you in the balls if you approach her to talk? You have to get that mentality out of your head, because the worst thing a women can say if you approach her is "I'm not interested". I can tell you're the kind of guy who would get all sorts of negative thoughts in his head to the point that it would psyche you out into fearing rejection to the point that you give up before you even try.

Once you overcome that, thing will be much much easier.[/quote]

Purple Flame covered most of it. I do want to point out one thing. You don't have to hide your sexual attraction all the time. Because if done too much, she's actually start to believe that you're not interested... or worse, you're gay. You want to show her enough attraction that you're interested in gettin' together w/ her (for the short/long term) but too much that you appear desperate. It's a fine line to walk on & a delicate balancing act so tread lightly. For example, women love sensory experiences while men love physical acts. So how do you translate a sensory experience into a physical act? or vice versa? To do so for girls, subtle touches like lightly brushing a girl's hand when she's telling a good story or even an introductory kiss on the back of the hand (though it's more appropriate in a formal setting) while intensely gazing into her eyes sends the signals that you want her. But after you've done the subtle touches on one date, go cold turkey on the next. Your goal here is to 'flatline' her or seemingly appear disinterested while being pleasant (if indifferent) company. The point of this is to keep her off-balance & guessing what your intentions are. It's the same technique women use on men. It's particularly effective on guys who think too much *cough*Theduck*cough* because they're in the exact position where the woman should be - kept guessing. Seriously, dude, you're too accomodating. Don't do her any favors just yet. They'll come after you get together but honestly, if you haven't gotten w/ her by now (and I don't mean sexually), your chances are pretty much nil.
 
bread's done
Back
Top