Most Embarrassing Moments

[quote name='ITDEFX']
As for the underwear in question, I put it into a bag to seal in the smell because it was beyond saving. Besides would you really want to wear something that after it's been bombarded like that? Anyways I put it into the trashcan outside of the store (between the first and second doors section), still in it's closed bag. [/QUOTE]

No, but I wouldn't have wrapped them up and carried them around in a bag while doing errands either. I would have thrown them away at home, or burnt them, so that I wouldn't trouble other people with my own inadequacies. You say you put them in a bag to prevent the smell from getting through, but why didn't you throw them away at home if they really didn't smell? I was a janitor in high school for two and a half years, and this was the exact kind of shit that I used to hate the most. Pun intended.

This is all, or course, assuming that this really did happen again.
 
MY FIRST FOOTBALL GAME IN MARCHING BAND
We marched around the football field and played out fight song. I had to crap but couldn't break out of line to go so I held it in. When we were done I sat down on the bleachers and shat myself so hard that it was visible through my pants >///<

It was sooo embarrassing to tell everyone why I had to go home and telling my band director what happened
 
[quote name='Greetard']No, but I wouldn't have wrapped them up and carried them around in a bag while doing errands either. I would have thrown them away at home, or burnt them, so that I wouldn't trouble other people with my own inadequacies. You say you put them in a bag to prevent the smell from getting through, but why didn't you throw them away at home if they really didn't smell? I was a janitor in high school for two and a half years, and this was the exact kind of shit that I used to hate the most. Pun intended.

This is all, or course, assuming that this really did happen again.[/quote]

Whatever dude.

I am not going to waste my time trying to prove to that it happened.

If you have an amusing true story to share, please go ahead, if not stfu.
 
Actually, one time, I shit my pants, pulled them down, got a plastic bag, picked the poop out of my drawers, and showed it to my friends in a CompUSA.

Then I smeared it on the iPod shelves.
 
At work there was a girl that just sucked. She worked incredibly damn slow when the pace reached its peak. By slow I mean slowly taking each plate from the rack one by one and putting them on the table. (yes, I washed dishes and still do, I'm 15)

Anyway we just arrived at work altogether (it was a reception, there was like 10 people doing the dishes) and I asked one of the girls if "she" worked. She said yes and it wnet like this:
-Aw maaan! She's such a slow-ass worker man! It's like she's in slow-mo or som'thing!
(everyone stares at me)
-She's here
-Really?
-Right behind you

I had never felt so bad in my entire life. I felt so damn mean...
 
Speaking of crapping in their pants, I'll admit I did it before (feel embarrassed too), and came close one time on my bike several years ago (I was a long distance from home).

One time, back when I was in 5th to 6th grade, I was coming home from a wedding (I wasn't dressed up anymore). I had quite a bit to eat and felt sick to my stomach. I was in the middle of no where, there were no bathrooms. My stomach felt so bad, I ended up crapping in my pants in the car. Thankfully I had another set of clothes, but that REALLY sucked.
 
When I was around 8 or 9, my mom and I went to Penney's to get some new clothes. While I was in the changing room, I decided that I wanted to crawl underneath the door and do I don't know what. Well I got stuck underneath the door and proceeded to scream and cry until there were about 30 people in there trying to get me unstuck. I am happy to report that I made it out of there and for my trouble, the manager gave me a reebok pump t-shirt that glowed in the dark! Well worth it...
 
Well, I just got caught masturbating by my mother who just said " What are you watching? What is that? ". I cut the porn off and didn't answer.
 
To all those fools who got caught jacking their tools, ever heard of CLOSING AND LOCKING THE DAMN DOOR!?!?!?!

This ain't American pie. Use common sense.
 
[quote name='Brak']I like how ITDEFX thinks that every door has a lock.[/quote]

Well it's common sense. If your gonna spank the monkey, you better make sure you are doing it in private (like your own room) and with a lock to it.
 
[quote name='Brak']I like how ITDEFX thinks that every door has a lock.[/quote]

And berates people for not having common sense after telling us that as an adult he shit his pants and then took those shitty pants into a computer retail store.
 
[quote name='Maklershed']And berates people for not having common sense after telling us that as an adult he shit his pants underwear and then took those shitty pants underwear into a shitty computer retail store.[/quote]

get the facts right buddy! :booty:
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']Well it's common sense. If your gonna spank the monkey, you better make sure you are doing it in private (like your own room) and with a lock to it.[/QUOTE]
So don't masturbate unless you're in a room that has a door with a lock?

Are you sure you're an adult?
 
Want to know the other funny part? I was jerking to rape porn. And the video title was there in pretty big letters " Girl gets raped in ass, pussy and mouth". I'm not sure if she saw the title because I was trying to use my head to block and and she was a good distance away. If she did then it'd be extra weird because I was jerkin' like crazy before she came in.
 
[quote name='Brak']So don't masturbate unless you're in a room that has a door with a lock?

Are you sure you're an adult?[/quote]


Man you are dense... if your living alone with no roomates or parents and no one around, feel free to spread the juices all over the walls...but if someone is living in the same place you are...close and lock the damn door.. geez man is it that hard to figure it out? No brak, according to you I am not an adult. mystery solved. have a nice day.

/ignore
 
[quote name='GTzerO']Want to know the other funny part? I was jerking to rape porn. And the video title was there in pretty big letters " Girl gets raped in ass, pussy and mouth". I'm not sure if she saw the title because I was trying to use my head to block and and she was a good distance away. If she did then it'd be extra weird because I was jerkin' like crazy before she came in.[/quote]

#-o
 
I know that's what you meant, dimwit.

I just find it hilarious that you think someone is an idiot if they masturbate in a room that doesn't have a door with a lock on it.
 
[quote name='GTzerO']Want to know the other funny part? I was jerking to rape porn. And the video title was there in pretty big letters " Girl gets raped in ass, pussy and mouth". I'm not sure if she saw the title because I was trying to use my head to block and and she was a good distance away. If she did then it'd be extra weird because I was jerkin' like crazy before she came in.[/quote]

:cold:

8-[
 
The part I was on wouldn't necessarily be considered rape at first glance. He was on top of her, kind of using his weight to hold her down, and forcefully licking her breasts while she made subtle squeals and wiggled around. Hopefully my mom didn't figure out the rape part.
 
[quote name='GTzerO']The part I was on wouldn't necessarily be considered rape at first glance. He was on top of her, kind of using his weight to hold her down, and forcefully licking her breasts while she made subtle squeals and wiggled around. Hopefully my mom didn't figure out the rape part.[/quote]

:cold:

8-[
 
[quote name='GTzerO']The part I was on wouldn't necessarily be considered rape at first glance. He was on top of her, kind of using his weight to hold her down, and forcefully licking her breasts while she made subtle squeals and wiggled around. Hopefully my mom didn't figure out the rape part.[/QUOTE]

...
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']Man you are dense... if your living alone with no roomates or parents and no one around, feel free to spread the juices all over the walls...but if someone is living in the same place you are...close and lock the damn door.. geez man is it that hard to figure it out? No brak, according to you I am not an adult. mystery solved. have a nice day.

/ignore[/QUOTE]

You're assuming he wasn't home alone to begin with, and that he couldn't not hear his mother walk into the house. You're also assuming that there is more than one computer in the household, and that it isn't located in a public room.

Which is why I'm assuming, as well, that you are a dimwit.
 
[quote name='Greetard']You're assuming he wasn't home alone to begin with, and that he couldn't not hear his mother walk into the house. You're also assuming that there is more than one computer in the household, and that it isn't located in a public room.

Which is why I'm assuming, as well, that you are a dimwit.[/quote]


Hey hey hey! No need to assume that, it's a proven fact.
 
[quote name='GTzerO']Well, I just got caught masturbating by my mother who just said " What are you watching? What is that? ". I cut the porn off and didn't answer.[/quote]

I used to always have porn minimized and files on the desktop, then would find my mom using the computer for online banking and shit like that. After she'd leave I'd go and doublecheck what the filenames (like "assfisting.jpg") were or pray the ones in the system bar were minimized. I think once I left IE open and she just used it while there was a big picture of some porn on the window below.
 
[quote name='Rocko']Fixed.[/quote]

lol.

Anyway, I used to talk with the kid using a headset online. One time my mom was really mad at me, we had an argument, and she beat me. Turns out the mic was on the entire and we were still talking on skype. He heard everything.
 
Well get this guys, this is the worst of ALL of you guys stories.

So I was sittting at home and enjoying some nice rape porn and suddenly my mom walks in on me, well I get really, really scared, so scared that I shit my pants. Now if you have ever done this, you would know that it is the worst feeling in the world and this got me even more disgusted, so I threw up ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD. So here I am sitting in a pile of my own shit and vomit with rape porn playing and my mom watching all this go down.

I was so embarrassed.

This post was a complete...
...
...
lie
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Well get this guys, this is the worst of ALL of you guys stories.

So I was sittting at home and enjoying some nice rape porn and suddenly my mom walks in on me, well I get really, really scared, so scared that I shit my pants. Now if you have ever done this, you would know that it is the worst feeling in the world and this got me even more disgusted, so I threw up ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD. So here I am sitting in a pile of my own shit and vomit with rape porn playing and my mom watching all this go down.

I was so embarrassed.

This post was a complete...
...
...
lie
[/QUOTE]

Did you drive to your local electronics retailer in order to get rid of that shit? 'Cause...ya know...that's what any self respecting, sane and intelligent human with a good head on their shoulders would do.
 
Here's a shocker - I shit myself in 4th grade - a full log - then I ran home and buried my underwear in the backyard.
 
[quote name='javeryh']Here's a shocker - I shit myself in 4th grade - a full log - then I ran home and buried my underwear in the backyard.[/quote]

R.I.P.
 
[quote name='Greetard']Did you drive to your local electronics retailer in order to get rid of that shit? 'Cause...ya know...that's what any self respecting, sane and intelligent human with a good head on their shoulders would do.[/quote]

You know, if there was someone that intelligent, I would want them to teach my children or something. Truly a bright individual.
 
[quote name='crunchb3rry']I used to always have porn minimized and files on the desktop, then would find my mom using the computer for online banking and shit like that. After she'd leave I'd go and doublecheck what the filenames (like "assfisting.jpg") were or pray the ones in the system bar were minimized. I think once I left IE open and she just used it while there was a big picture of some porn on the window below.[/quote]

I sometimes save porn to my desktop instead of my porn folder... I don't think anyone notices though. :wave:


But my most embarrassing moment? I once shat in my uncle's pool. I think I was like 7 or 8 at the time... I don't know why I didn't just go to the bathroom. Perhaps I was retarded back then.
 
[quote name='GTzerO'] He was on top of her, kind of using his weight to hold her down, and forcefully licking her breasts while she made subtle squeals and wiggled around. Hopefully my mom didn't figure out the rape part.[/quote]

:hot: scary.

You're lucky no one has added this to their sig.
 
I had a couple friends over one night for some drinks. I passed out and my best friend's brother stuffed my shirt with paper towels (to give me boobs) and wrote "VAGINA" on my forehead with a yellow highlighter. I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing around 10 a.m., my boss was calling me in to work (retail sales associate), someone didn't show up. I take the paper towels out of my shirt, put on shoes and get going... after I'm at work for about 30 minutes, having already helped several customers, my boss runs into me and asks what's written on my forehead, super pissed.

I wasn't really embarrassed as much as I was amused. I didn't get a warning, and I didn't care about the job anyway.

[quote name='javeryh']Here's a shocker - I shit myself in 4th grade - a full log - then I ran home and buried my underwear in the backyard.[/QUOTE]

Hahahahaha, so rad. BURIED IT. Hahaha... amazing.
 
[quote name='javeryh']Here's a shocker - I shit myself in 4th grade - a full log - then I ran home and buried my underwear in the backyard.[/quote]

That is the best thing I have ever heard. Thank you. :rofl:
 
[quote name='Greetard']Did you drive to your local electronics retailer in order to get rid of that shit? 'Cause...ya know...that's what any self respecting, sane and intelligent human with a good head on their shoulders would do.[/quote]

Of course he went back to CompUSA! He had TAP on his keyboard.
 
[quote name='Jesus_S_Preston']I never knew using the toilet was so difficult until I read this thread.[/quote]

Not so much using the toilet. Most of the stories are just people rolling the dice on a fart. The kind of fart (which I lovingly call the "champagne cork") which you assume is a factory standard fart, but the split second before it happens there's a sudden "warmth" but it's too late to stop it. All you can do is avoid screaming out "Noooo!" like Darth Vader in Episode 3, clench, maintain composure, and waddle to the nearest bathroom for hazmat recovery.

The worst are the kind of wet fart that can cut through an engine block. Those almost always result in your pants having a shit stain on the back. In that case, Fate either had you wear a long sleeve shirt with a t-shirt underneath, or you really did something to piss Fate off.

I have an epic pants-shitting story but it's not about me so I can't really post it. The person it's about is pretty much to their limit with me telling this story. The last straw was when I attempted to tell his wife and he gave me this look like I would be forever damned if I did.
 
This story isn't about me, but seeing as we have a lot of getting caught stories here, I figured it fits.

The story comes from another forum, where a similar question was asked:

So I woke up early in the morning to do the deed, and since it was early in the morning, I had a cup of coffee next to me.

As I watched the glorious video, I decided to take a sip of my coffee. Right then and there, my mother steps into the room and says, "What are you doi- OH MY, WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING!"

Being caught off guard, the hot coffee drips onto my penis, and I proceed to scream as I grab my penis in an attempt to relieve the pain. In about no time, my two sisters run to see why I am screaming. As they enter, they see me holding my scolded red penis, me screaming, my mom staring me down and a hot blonde girl taking it up the butt.
Click to expand...
 
I have several stories

We had several cattle on our farm at the time and before school I had to feed them so I walked into the shed and usually I had work boots on, not today. Everything is normal until first class when everyone starts smelling shit. I realize in horror that its me and everyone finds out and busts out laughing. I ran to the bathroom and tried to clean it as best I could and scrubbing my shoes down with soap. I didn't live that one down for awhile.

I too have shit my pants fellow CAG. Luckily I was at home when it happened and I never felt anything like this when it hit me. I was outside at our basketball hoop and I thought I had to just let one go. Bad choice not to consider the worse. Needless to say shit went every where.

Not embarrassing so much for me, but made me hate life oh so very much and goes with the shit theme. I was working at walmart as a cashier at the time and needless to say I was their bitch errand boy. I would do any small job they asked and one night it was as the janitor. Someone said that the stalls were backed up and I should go check it out. I walk into the bathroom and there is shit up and down the stall. I mean someone aimed their ass up and let loose the hounds of hell on this bathroom stall. Needless to say I quit my job that night.
 
I LOVE the story Help1 posted :lol:

The porn stories reminded me of the time me and my friend were getting doing something on the computer, and although my freind remembered to delete his history, he left the cookies. sure enough, as he went to type soemthing into Google, ' butt sex', 'porn videos' and 'bitch fuck' appeared. We were like 10 or 11, which made it hilarious. it was so awkward.

We werent freinds for much longer after that because he turned into an ass

Not embarrassing so much for me, but made me hate life oh so very much and goes with the shit theme. I was working at walmart as a cashier at the time and needless to say I was their bitch errand boy. I would do any small job they asked and one night it was as the janitor. Someone said that the stalls were backed up and I should go check it out. I walk into the bathroom and there is shit up and down the stall. I mean someone aimed their ass up and let loose the hounds of hell on this bathroom stall. Needless to say I quit my job that night
Click to expand...

in my shcool, there was a big investigation after some student kept smearing shit on the walls and shitting in the sinks. It was ansolutely disgusting, but nobody find him/her
 
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