I figure I would join this wonderful thread. Some of these stories remind me so much of what's happened to me...so I'm assuming everyone has shit their pants and have been caught jerking off. So I will leave those stories out now. First of all it's hard for me to get embarrassed, I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life, but these three stories stand out:
About 10 years ago (I'm 30 now) I used to work at a distillery and one day I had to check barrels stored in a huge warehouse by myself. And yeah, I was by myself and had to cash in some slap bank. So I found the stash of old Hustler mags they had in the warehouse sat down and brought Mr. Weasel back from the grave. So I guess I was backed up because my gack went all over my face. I managed to put my pants back on, but before I could clean my face a tour of about 10 people came in (my dumbass was sitting near the door but in the rails). They saw me and asked what was on my face and I told not to go near those rails because we had a bat infestation. They ended up going to another warehouse.
When I was 24 I had to move back home, due to some financial problems. Well, this is the reason I moved back out of my parent's house again. I brought a chick home from a party one night (I know real winner bringing a drunk chick to my parent's house). So she ended up leaving the next day when one of her friend's came and picked her up. I was cleaning up my room and I couldn't find my cock ring. I thought to myself: "That bitch just stole my cock ring!" I went outside to give her a call on my cell and when I come back my mom was cleaning my room and was holding my cock ring on her hand asking me what it was. I told her it was a curtain holder (all I could think of at the time). And she put it on the curtains. I tossed the cock ring and moved out a week later.
This happened a couple of months ago. My job requires me to travel out of town some. While I was working out of town I had to take a crap really bad and found a Wal-mart. If you know anything about me, you know that A) I go to extreme measures to take a crap in privacy and B) Taking a crap for me is like walking into my second office. So with my DS in my jacket I walk to the back of Wal-mart where a second set of bathrooms are near layaway. I walk in and let me tell you this bathroom was prime, they had so many stalls to choose from and so damn clean too. I've been to plenty of bathrooms and this one was impressive. So I take my time trying to beat some levels on New Super Mario Brothers while I do my business and I hear a little boy walk in. He wasn't alone, I hear a baby crying and then I hear the mother yelling at the kid to hurry up and use the stall right next time. Keep in mind all the other stalls were empty! I was like: " what the
is wrong with this woman!?" What if I was using the urinal and my stuff was all like hanging out?!! What kind of woman takes her little boy to the men's restroom? I hear other people walk in and nobody says anything to her. They all just go in and sit in a stall. I then start thinking to myself....that there were a lot of stalls and I couldn't remember if I saw any urinals and I start to worry. So I quickly stick my head under the stalls and check out if I see any pink shoes or open toe sandals with toe nail polish on them. Luckily, the giant harry feet a couple of stalls from mine reassure me I was in the right. So I quickly wrap up the level and walk out to tell this woman that it's pretty messed up that she is in the men's room. As I close the stall behind me I see a group of women standing at the sinks and all looking at me. I noticed that there were no urinals and the hairy feet I saw belonged to a grotesque trailer trash female. I walk slowly to the sink wash my hands and they all keep looking at me. I make eye contact with them and the only word I could think of ing saying was: "ladies." Walked out of the bathroom, stormed out of Wal-mart, and jetted out of the parking lot never to return again. Lessons learned: Not all Wal-mart bathrooms gender locations are the same and never buy used games from me.
About 10 years ago (I'm 30 now) I used to work at a distillery and one day I had to check barrels stored in a huge warehouse by myself. And yeah, I was by myself and had to cash in some slap bank. So I found the stash of old Hustler mags they had in the warehouse sat down and brought Mr. Weasel back from the grave. So I guess I was backed up because my gack went all over my face. I managed to put my pants back on, but before I could clean my face a tour of about 10 people came in (my dumbass was sitting near the door but in the rails). They saw me and asked what was on my face and I told not to go near those rails because we had a bat infestation. They ended up going to another warehouse.
When I was 24 I had to move back home, due to some financial problems. Well, this is the reason I moved back out of my parent's house again. I brought a chick home from a party one night (I know real winner bringing a drunk chick to my parent's house). So she ended up leaving the next day when one of her friend's came and picked her up. I was cleaning up my room and I couldn't find my cock ring. I thought to myself: "That bitch just stole my cock ring!" I went outside to give her a call on my cell and when I come back my mom was cleaning my room and was holding my cock ring on her hand asking me what it was. I told her it was a curtain holder (all I could think of at the time). And she put it on the curtains. I tossed the cock ring and moved out a week later.
This happened a couple of months ago. My job requires me to travel out of town some. While I was working out of town I had to take a crap really bad and found a Wal-mart. If you know anything about me, you know that A) I go to extreme measures to take a crap in privacy and B) Taking a crap for me is like walking into my second office. So with my DS in my jacket I walk to the back of Wal-mart where a second set of bathrooms are near layaway. I walk in and let me tell you this bathroom was prime, they had so many stalls to choose from and so damn clean too. I've been to plenty of bathrooms and this one was impressive. So I take my time trying to beat some levels on New Super Mario Brothers while I do my business and I hear a little boy walk in. He wasn't alone, I hear a baby crying and then I hear the mother yelling at the kid to hurry up and use the stall right next time. Keep in mind all the other stalls were empty! I was like: " what the
is wrong with this woman!?" What if I was using the urinal and my stuff was all like hanging out?!! What kind of woman takes her little boy to the men's restroom? I hear other people walk in and nobody says anything to her. They all just go in and sit in a stall. I then start thinking to myself....that there were a lot of stalls and I couldn't remember if I saw any urinals and I start to worry. So I quickly stick my head under the stalls and check out if I see any pink shoes or open toe sandals with toe nail polish on them. Luckily, the giant harry feet a couple of stalls from mine reassure me I was in the right. So I quickly wrap up the level and walk out to tell this woman that it's pretty messed up that she is in the men's room. As I close the stall behind me I see a group of women standing at the sinks and all looking at me. I noticed that there were no urinals and the hairy feet I saw belonged to a grotesque trailer trash female. I walk slowly to the sink wash my hands and they all keep looking at me. I make eye contact with them and the only word I could think of ing saying was: "ladies." Walked out of the bathroom, stormed out of Wal-mart, and jetted out of the parking lot never to return again. Lessons learned: Not all Wal-mart bathrooms gender locations are the same and never buy used games from me.
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