Retail Employee Stories Part 7: "I'm Not Supposed To Be Here Today!"

Status
Not open for further replies.
I had this older lady in my line the other day. I'd say.. probably late 50's or early 60's. She asked about the new Silent Hill game, wanting to know if it was coming to the 360. This led to a discussion about past Silent Hill and Resident Evil games, the movie, and then I started talking to her about Centralia. She was genuinely interested in it and left to go research it some more.

Pretty awesome customer. I wish all customers were nice like she was. Working retail has completely killed my holiday spirit.
 
[quote name='Scorch']
Pretty awesome customer. I wish all customers were nice like she was. Working retail has completely killed my holiday spirit.[/QUOTE]

I think stupid customers kill all retail workers xmas spirit. We go from lovin it to cant wait till its fuck over
 
[quote name='Scorch']
Pretty awesome customer. I wish all customers were nice like she was. Working retail has completely killed my holiday spirit.[/QUOTE]

I think stupid customers kill all retail workers xmas spirit. We go from lovin it to cant wait till its over
 
The store I work at opens at 10am. At about 11am this woman decides to buy $2.63 of stuff. She then pays with a $100 bill. So i give her a twenty, a ten, a few fives and the rest in ones.
 
[quote name='Porksta']The store I work at opens at 10am. At about 11am this woman decides to buy $2.63 of stuff. She then pays with a $100 bill. So i give her a twenty, a ten, a few fives and the rest in ones.[/QUOTE]

I'd attempt something like that, but we don't have that much change in our drawers in the morning... I could literally pull out the drawer, dump it on the counter (coins and all), and still be short.

Which, of course, I end up having to explain to some annoyed customer who doesn't understand why they have to wait becuase they decided to break their bill in the dinky lil' craft store instead of going to the bank a few bloody feet away! (Seriously, it shares our parking lot!) :roll:
 
my favorite thing lately...

"What do you mean I can't return this opened video game and get my money back? I didn't like the game!"

It's no use explaining to them that NO store takes opened games back for a refund, they just don't get it.
 
[quote name='meds']my favorite thing lately...

"What do you mean I can't return this opened video game and get my money back? I didn't like the game!"

It's no use explaining to them that NO store takes opened games back for a refund, they just don't get it.[/QUOTE]

well actually, there is one.. Costco.
 
[quote name='meds'] "What do you mean I can't return this opened video game and get my money back? I didn't like the game!"[/QUOTE]
"Well then guess who should have done more research?"

Sheesh, game rental is possible for a reason. Heck, with modern systems with downloadable demos, sometimes not even rental is needed.
 
[quote name='Porksta']I was working this past Saturday, putting some items in the display cases. It was a rainy day, and the cashier asked a customer if he would like a bag for his purchases. All the cashiers ask this question for a few reasons:

1) Less work for us if they say no
2) Some customers are all about recycling so they refuse
3) We tend to run out of bags as we only get them via donations

The customer was less than thrilled to be asked that question, and just explodes at the cashier. "Yes, of course I want a bag. Do you think I want to go out and get my things wet? How could you even ask a question like that?" Then the best part "You need to smile every once in a while."[/QUOTE]


funny story about bagging groceries. i feel you, i used to bag groceries as a kid(long ago). When I shop, I almost never ask for bags, i keep cardboard boxes in my car and just use those.

I almost always tell the cashier and bagger "no bolsa por nada"(no bags for any of it-i live in los angeles). usually the one bagging the groceries understands, and the cashier is like "what?"

on one such occasion, i walked out to my car with a cart full of groceries with no bags and start loading up the trunk. the security guy and manager start charging me and are ready to tackle me while i was loading my car, and said "hey you need to pay for those groceries". i took out my receipt and handed it over, the security guy said "check the date! check the date!" i said "yeah, check the date and time". the manager looks at the receipt and said 'oh, uh, sorry. we asked the cashiers if anyone checked out asking for 'no bags' and none of them said anything". I just said 'he must not have heard me, i talked in spanish when i asked for no bags. no worries."

and the security dude look so bummed. working security must be a boring job if no one ever steals anything.

i should have asked for a coupon or something, but i at least have a funny story to tell. I am just glad i didnt get tackled, they were charging at me pretty fast.

edit, like i said i am in los angeles, loads of waste here, sometimes the bagger will say 'no bolsa!!?!??" like i must be loco.
 
[quote name='MYFIREMANISHUGE']Not anymore I believe ^[/QUOTE]

Incorrect, they still allow returns within 2 years so long as it's all there.
 
[quote name='dracula']funny story about bagging groceries. i feel you, i used to bag groceries as a kid(long ago). When I shop, I almost never ask for bags, i keep cardboard boxes in my car and just use those.

I almost always tell the cashier and bagger "no bolsa por nada"(no bags for any of it-i live in los angeles). usually the one bagging the groceries understands, and the cashier is like "what?"

on one such occasion, i walked out to my car with a cart full of groceries with no bags and start loading up the trunk. the security guy and manager start charging me and are ready to tackle me while i was loading my car, and said "hey you need to pay for those groceries". i took out my receipt and handed it over, the security guy said "check the date! check the date!" i said "yeah, check the date and time". the manager looks at the receipt and said 'oh, uh, sorry. we asked the cashiers if anyone checked out asking for 'no bags' and none of them said anything". I just said 'he must not have heard me, i talked in spanish when i asked for no bags. no worries."

and the security dude look so bummed. working security must be a boring job if no one ever steals anything.

i should have asked for a coupon or something, but i at least have a funny story to tell. I am just glad i didnt get tackled, they were charging at me pretty fast.

edit, like i said i am in los angeles, loads of waste here, sometimes the bagger will say 'no bolsa!!?!??" like i must be loco.[/QUOTE]

I can understand. In poor Eastern European countries they charge the equivalent of 10-20 cents per bag.
 
It's one of few major cities (in California) closest to the border between US and Mexico. With a huge population base it's probably not that hard to find illegal immigrants or some immigrants that are willing to work for extremely low pay. So not surprising that most baggers are fluent in Spanish.
 
"No Bolsas Por Nada" translates to no bags for nothing, as in when you say "I will trade you X for Y"

the better terminology would be "no bolsas para nada," which would be more like when you say "no dinner for you"

Don't know if that makes any sense... but funny story...plastic bags nowadays are so cheap anyways they can barely carry more than a loaf of bread anyways.
 
[quote name='PhrostByte']I can understand. In poor Eastern European countries they charge the equivalent of 10-20 cents per bag.[/QUOTE]

It's actually not only in "poor" european. I went to Scotland for 3 months study exchange 7 years ago and they charged for bags. Same in UK and actually most developed country start charging for bags. EXCEPT USA of course, well maybe Costco is different since they reused the boxes. And Ralphs Supermarket here give you 5 cents credit per bag if you bring your own bag or reuse their bag.

They even have a place to open the packaging (those plastic shells, box, etc) since the customer doesn't want to carry it home and trash it there.. Let the retailer deals with it.
 
It depends on some places in the US. They charge you for bags or you can use reusable bags and they will knock off a few cents for each item. I know the Target on Mckee has 5 cent off promo when you use reusable bags.

I don't know where this story should go since I'm not an employee at the store:
Those yellow signs that indicate the floor is wet. Some kid walked through the puddle and almost fell. You think he would learn his lesson. But he goes and turns around and attempts to slide through the puddle. Of course he slips backwards and slams his head on the floor. He starts crying and his mom comes by and starts bitching. Saying how unsafe the store is and starts bitching at the employee standing near by with the mop. (He was cleaning up spilled yogurt on the floor). The lady asks for the manager and complains that she will sue. I told the manager what happened and the lady became quiet. But then goes on to bitch about how those signs are unclear and leaves. I don't know if she will "sue" but the store has my info and story on file and gave me a 5 dollar discount on my purchase. Hagen Daaz Ice cream for almost free = yummy. ^__^
 
I'd like to congratulate all the people still working retail on making it through another season. This was always close to the point where I would wipe the sweat off the ol 'brow and start to pick up my mood. Working at KB Toys and Best Buy for 8 years, I didn't really enjoy a Holiday from when I was 16-24, just the time after Christmas returns finally slowed down.

You always forget what the other 9 months are like cause Mid Oct - Mid Jan always sucked so horrendously bad. Then you get out of the storm and it's like a wave of fresh air.
 
[quote name='Bubbakja']I'd like to congratulate all the people still working retail on making it through another season. This was always close to the point where I would wipe the sweat off the ol 'brow and start to pick up my mood. Working at KB Toys and Best Buy for 8 years, I didn't really enjoy a Holiday from when I was 16-24, just the time after Christmas returns finally slowed down.

You always forget what the other 9 months are like cause Mid Oct - Mid Jan always sucked so horrendously bad. Then you get out of the storm and it's like a wave of fresh air.[/QUOTE]
:applause:
 
Me again!
Hope you all had a good period between december and now..... is that non-commital enough?


Another story. The uniform at the store I worked for was vile, bright yellow polo shirt and hideous green trousers and jumpers, all with the company name all over them. Nothing that anyone would choose to wear, even blind people were going; 'oh dear god have you seen what you're wearing!'. Anyway, the amount of people that would come up to you and ask the classic; 'do you work here?'. No, I'm dressed like a 5'6 canary for the good of my health!


A woman came in once and started questioning me about rabbits. All fair enough until she came out with; 'how long do you cook them for?' :shock:


It seemed to become a 'thing' at our centre that if a customers car broke down or was having issues starting, we'd occassionally jump start them, which often meant a lot of pushing cars around the carpark. One woman came in in tears not long after we'd opened, saying her car wouldn't start and she had to get home for her kids etc. So one of the guys offered to help. He ended up calling me and another person out to give it a push which we did for about 45 minutes. The woman said she didn't know how to do it and would he drive the car til it was going. Not so much a problem, it was on a private estate. Eventually we got the car going and because it was getting busy, the guy drove the car round the carpark and back to the woman to save her walking all the way across and causing a traffic jam.
The woman then complained, yelling that we'd taken too long to get the car started, wasted her petrol etc etc. At which point, Simon stopped the car, put the handbrake on and told her to go to hell, we'd just run about a mile pushing her car, got scrapped knees from tripping and pain in our backs, all to do her a favour and save her having to wait an age for her breakdown company. We then proceded to watch her fight to get it going (which it wouldn't) then sheepishly come in to ask to use the phone. We left her at about 10am, she was still sitting out there at 5.30 when I went home.
Life's a bitch sometimes. ;)
 
[quote name='adriley313']That is so awesome. Mom came off her high horse and gave it to the boy. Maybe she will call all the parents of said thugs friends parents.

Nice to see justice in the world and a parent that believes her child can do wrong.

Had to Google Budgie. Cute bird.[/QUOTE]

Thats what I thought! Although she'd been in before and he was being an arse then too and she totally went off on one at him, he was nearly in tears. I have to admit she was the only one though!
Most parents thought the pet dept doubled as a creche and then saw fit to scream at me when they couldn't find their brat. Not my problem, not seen it, not asked to see it and well, I'm paid to look after cute furry things, I know where they are since they are my responsibility!!!! :bomb: Its amazing how many parents are so nonchalant about the wearabous of their children.
 
[quote name='Squashed Frog']
It seemed to become a 'thing' at our centre that if a customers car broke down or was having issues starting, we'd occassionally jump start them, which often meant a lot of pushing cars around the carpark. One woman came in in tears not long after we'd opened, saying her car wouldn't start and she had to get home for her kids etc. So one of the guys offered to help. He ended up calling me and another person out to give it a push which we did for about 45 minutes. The woman said she didn't know how to do it and would he drive the car til it was going. Not so much a problem, it was on a private estate. Eventually we got the car going and because it was getting busy, the guy drove the car round the carpark and back to the woman to save her walking all the way across and causing a traffic jam.
The woman then complained, yelling that we'd taken too long to get the car started, wasted her petrol etc etc. At which point, Simon stopped the car, put the handbrake on and told her to go to hell, we'd just run about a mile pushing her car, got scrapped knees from tripping and pain in our backs, all to do her a favour and save her having to wait an age for her breakdown company. We then proceded to watch her fight to get it going (which it wouldn't) then sheepishly come in to ask to use the phone. We left her at about 10am, she was still sitting out there at 5.30 when I went home.
Life's a bitch sometimes. ;)[/QUOTE]
Bet that's one lesson she'll never forget.
 
I do soccer refereeing so my job is pretty much to be yelled at my hoards of angry soccer moms. My favorite is when little kids yell at you. I wouldn't do it if I didn't get paid so well and couldn't make my hours.
 
Waited on a rather large table this morning.
This lady asked all sorts of questions, including the difference between our classic and smoked chicken tacos. So after I finally got all the food out to the table I asked if everything looked alright. Yes. Came back later to ask if it tasted alright. Yes.

So after EVERYONE ELSE is done eating this lady goes, "Uh, hello? Miss? Um, yeah...these tacos don't look ANYTHING like the ones in this photo! *scoff*"
"Oh, I see. Well, you ordered our classic chicken tacos, right?"
"Yes. And see, they don't look like the photo AT ALL!"
"Ah, well that would be because the tacos pictured are our SMOKED chicken tacos."
"Oh, you have different kinds of tacos??"

YES, we have different kinds of tacos you psycho bitch! YOU ASKED WHAT THE DIFFERENCE WAS BEFORE YOU EVEN ORDERED!

So then she points her nose up and very snootily goes, "Well then I guess I need to see a MANAGER. Hmm!"
He gave her the meal free AND some smoked chicken tacos so I was kinda pissed.
Best part though was the two gentlemen on the end out of her hearing range...they stopped me and said, "Ma'am, do you attend church?"
And I lied and said that I do, but I have to work on Sundays because I have school during the week and attend a Wednesday night service. Truth is I don't agree with organized religion, but that's too much to explain and debate while on the job. So the guy (I think the lady's husband) says, "Well, bless you for your patience. I would imagine between work and school and difficult people *coughcough, nodnod* that your faith is the only thing that keeps that smile on your face. Have a great day!"

Hahaha...
 
[quote name='randomoutburst']I would imagine between work and school and difficult people *coughcough, nodnod* that your faith is the only thing that keeps that smile on your face. Have a great day!"

Hahaha...[/QUOTE]

People see and hear the abuse workers get a lot more than people think. It's customers that go out of their way and help defuse your bad day that are absolutely golden. You are lucky to have bumped into them.
 
[quote name='randomoutburst']Waited on a rather large table this morning.
This lady asked all sorts of questions, including the difference between our classic and smoked chicken tacos. So after I finally got all the food out to the table I asked if everything looked alright. Yes. Came back later to ask if it tasted alright. Yes.

So after EVERYONE ELSE is done eating this lady goes, "Uh, hello? Miss? Um, yeah...these tacos don't look ANYTHING like the ones in this photo! *scoff*"
"Oh, I see. Well, you ordered our classic chicken tacos, right?"
"Yes. And see, they don't look like the photo AT ALL!"
"Ah, well that would be because the tacos pictured are our SMOKED chicken tacos."
"Oh, you have different kinds of tacos??"

YES, we have different kinds of tacos you psycho bitch! YOU ASKED WHAT THE DIFFERENCE WAS BEFORE YOU EVEN ORDERED!

So then she points her nose up and very snootily goes, "Well then I guess I need to see a MANAGER. Hmm!"
He gave her the meal free AND some smoked chicken tacos so I was kinda pissed.
[/QUOTE]

Employees who have to work the front line should be able to wear hidden cameras so when jackass customers pull their crap, you have it all recorded.
 
I had a good one the other day.

Customer was doing a trade.

Me: Ok, I just need your phone number.
Customer: Why the hell do you need that!? You should have it!
Me: I need your number for the trade, and I'm not sure why I should have it already.
Customer: What are you? fucking stupid!?
Me: I'm sorry sir, you're going to have to leave.
Customer: fucking asshole!

At this point one of my co-workers comes over.

Co-worker: What's the problem?
Customer: This fucking asshole-
Co-worker: Get out!
Customer: Well fuck you too!

I still don't know why he was so angry at me, or why I should have had his number...

I've had customers throw games at me:

Customer: I'd like to return this.
Me: Ok, let me see the receipt. *looks at receipt* I'm sorry sir, it's been like 4 months and this was a new game. I can't return it.
Customer: Why the hell not!?
Me: *explains the return policy*
Customer: That's bullshit! *snaps the game in half and throws it at me*
Me: Well you definitely can't return it now...
Customer: fuck you! *walks out*
 
[quote name='King Of Prussia'] I wouldn't do it if I didn't get paid so well and couldn't make my hours.[/QUOTE]

Plus all the Soccer Mom action you get on the side, amirite?
 
[quote name='randomoutburst']
Best part though was the two gentlemen on the end out of her hearing range...they stopped me and said, "Ma'am, do you attend church?"
And I lied and said that I do, but I have to work on Sundays because I have school during the week and attend a Wednesday night service. Truth is I don't agree with organized religion, but that's too much to explain and debate while on the job. So the guy (I think the lady's husband) says, "Well, bless you for your patience. I would imagine between work and school and difficult people *coughcough, nodnod* that your faith is the only thing that keeps that smile on your face. Have a great day!"

Hahaha...[/QUOTE]

When I was doing restaurant work, I did have a few customers ask me if I attended any local churches. I told them truthfully, "No, I don't. I can't work here, and then see the same customers who are jerks sitting next to me in church, acting like nothing happened." Our worst customers were always the church ladies who came in after Sunday morning services.
 
An argument for why my store should make the bathrooms employee only:

P_00276.jpg


Not pictured: the toilet full to the brim of shit and toilet paper. We hope to get a repair guy in Tuesday.

This is the women's room, by the way. Contrary to popular belief, I've found the women's room to largely be a far more disgusting place then the men's room.
 
[quote name='DuelLadyS']An argument for why my store should make the bathrooms employee only:

P_00276.jpg


Not pictured: the toilet full to the brim of shit and toilet paper. We hope to get a repair guy in Tuesday.

This is the women's room, by the way. Contrary to popular belief, I've found the women's room to largely be a far more disgusting place then the men's room.[/QUOTE]
No one in the store heard that?
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']No one in the store heard that?[/QUOTE]

I really don't know. I was on the opposite end of the building when it happened, and didn't know excactly what happened until the next day when my fiance opened the door and showed me.

I wouldn't be surprised if no one heard, though- our bathrooms are way in the back, and with our store hours cut to hell it's not uncommon for there to be no one in that area of the store for awhile.
 
[quote name='DuelLadyS']This is the women's room, by the way. Contrary to popular belief, I've found the women's room to largely be a far more disgusting place then the men's room.[/QUOTE]

I believe this too.


Had a wonderful customer call up tonight. It's about 3 minutes until close and today is the last day for a certain sale. I take the call and knew exactly what it was going to be because I overheard the customer talking to another employee. The lady starts off nice, hoping that I have a heart, and giving me this story about the size jacket her son needs. She wanted me to hold something overnight and honor the sale price tomorrow.

Me: "Unfortunately I can't do that."
Customer: "WHAT!! I never heard of a store doing that! Even though I'm calling before you close?"
M: "I can hold it overnight but I can't honor the sale price tomorrow."
C: "WHAT!! AHHHR *freaks out* I want the district managers number. I've never heard..."
M: "Alright, just hold on a second while I get the number."
C: "I never heard of a store blah blah blah"
M: "Hold on a second while I get the number for you."
*Gets the number*
M: "Thanks for holding. Their number is XXX-XXX-XXXX and their name is XXXX"
C: "What! That isn't a local number."
M: "Yes, I believe they are located in XXXXX"
C: "And whats their name?"
M: "XXXX"
C: "And what's your name?"
M: "PenguinoMF"
C: "Can I buy them over the phone?"
M: "No, that is against policy."
C: "What?! Why?"
M: "Because we need the actual card in hand to process and order."
C: "Blah blah ahhh ahh"
M: "Alright, have a good night."

I know the managers would do the same exact thing but the district manager will bend right over for her. Bunch of BS. I follow the policy but the customer gets their way. Luckily I had 2 employees standing there and hearing what I was saying so if she says I was rude I have them to back me up.

As a customer I would NEVER expect stores to do things that other customers expect us to do.
 
[quote name='Spacepest']When I was doing restaurant work, I did have a few customers ask me if I attended any local churches. I told them truthfully, "No, I don't. I can't work here, and then see the same customers who are jerks sitting next to me in church, acting like nothing happened." Our worst customers were always the church ladies who came in after Sunday morning services.[/QUOTE]

I've had customers not tip me on Sunday and tell me I should "be in church". Assholes.

Anyway, my best customers are usually on Sunday, surprisingly enough. I'm very kid friendly and go out of my way to entertain kids, so I tell the hostess to seat me with families with small kids (since it seems my coworkers loath them anyway).

I also get a group of old ladies that come in Sunday afternoons, all dressed up and in good jewelry and all that because they came from church. I love them. The first time I waited on them, I went out of my way to make sure they knew what they were ordering and I suggested items for the indecisive ones. I bagged their food for them (which I never do for anyone) and got their drinks to-go. They tipped me somewhere between 20-25% and one even hugged me after the meal before she left.

They request me when they come in now and I remember what most of them eat/drink (which they LOVE, it impressed them apparently). Last time I had them one asked if I made minimum wage. I took the opportunity to tell her, "No, I make $2.13 an hour plus tips." She said that was horrible (haha...) and asked if I still made enough money. I decided to be honest and said, "Ma'am, I do the best I can to earn every dollar I can in tips, so I end up making on average $13-14 dollars an hour by my calculations. And that's all in tips because the $2.13/hour is usually taken for taxes. It's not bad that I work off tips because the effort I put into my job is usually reflected in my tips. Sometimes it's not, but I knew that coming into this job and if it didn't even out I wouldn't still be here."
They tipped me almost 30% that time.

I bitch and whine a lot, and think a lot of mean horrible things about my customers, but contrary to all this I really do go to every table with a smile and good attitude, and am not blatantly rude to a customer...unless I've worked all day, it's late at night, and the person is being beyond unreasonably rude. That sort of situation has only happened twice in three years, so I'd like to say I'm reasonably tolerable.

People like the old ladies I mentioned above make my job enjoyable and keep me going through the asshole tables.
 
Our bathrooms are employee only. The customers respond to this by taking dumps in the dressing room. So we had to close the dressing rooms.
 
[quote name='Porksta']Our bathrooms are employee only. The customers respond to this by taking dumps in the dressing room. So we had to close the dressing rooms.[/QUOTE]

My sister had that problem when she worked at Goodwill. They had to tape the doors shut- not because it kept them from trying, but because the time involved in removing the tape, plus the sound, gave the employees a chance to go stop the customer in person.

Luckily, I work in crafts, so there is no dressing room to foul up. (I imagine they'd hit the Ross next door.)
 
customer- "what do you mean you will only give me $.25 for this madden 02?"
me-"well it's 9 years old, i have 200 copies in the back, we resell it for $.99 but no one will ever buy it"
customer-"but I paid $50 for it and it looks brand new"
me-"im sorry sir"
customer-flings the game at me and walks to the door"this is fucking bullshit, i will never shop here again"
me-"have a nice day sir and thanks for not shopping here again"
 
customer hands me vampire rain to purchase
me-"you don't want to buy that game"
customer-"why not?"
me-"its terrible and I'm certain you wont like it. What other games do you play, maybe I can suggest something better"
customer-" i really want this"
me-"ok but I bet I'm going to see you back in a couple days to trade it in and your going to be out a nice chunk of change"
customer-"i don't care, would you just sell me the damn game"
me-"yes sir, i'm very sorry i was only trying to help"
customer-"are you done talking? why have you not rung me up yet?"
Me-"here's your game, have a great evening"

QUEUE 2 DAYS LATER

customer acting like they had never seen me before

customer-"can i return this to get another game?"
me-"i can take it as a trade in but I can not take back opened new games to exchange for another"
customer-"but i didn't like the game and i want my money back"
me-"well i begged you not to buy it"
customer-"wtf kind of store asks people not to buy things?" "i want to speak with your manager"
me-"I'm the manager on duty right now sir" "i will be happy to trade it in for store credit for you but i can not take back an opened new game in exchange for another because you did not like it"
customer-"the the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard" "fine whatever i'll just take credit and get something else"
me-"ok sir can I help you pick out something else then?"
customer-"i dont need your help, i'm quite capable of something as simple as picking out a video game i will like"
me-"ok sir just let me know when your ready"
customer-"here i'd like this, i like shoot em up games" hands me perfect dark zero

at least this time he got used so he can bring it back tomorrow when he hates it.:applause:
 
I used to be the biggest jerk when I worked in food service. Not even in college but back in highschool I worked at an applebees; the one in sheepshed bay brooklyn ny, busing tables. It was only for like 3 months to earn some extra scratch. Some people are so dam stupid. Example:

I'm busing a table.
Me:* cleaning table, putting some dirty dish into the bin. Items on it are unrecognizable.*
Lady at the table next to me: Um excuse me, what is that you have there? *refering to the dirty dish*
Me: *with a puzzled look*: Why....I believe its a dirty dish.
I walk into the back.

Like seriously...what the hell. You have food in front of you and you want to know what this random mush on a plate is. Its probably a mix of burger, french fries, and frozen crap we use to make this...now eat your dam good!
 
[quote name='flagg1216']customer hands me vampire rain to purchase
me-"you don't want to buy that game"
customer-"why not?"
me-"its terrible and I'm certain you wont like it. What other games do you play, maybe I can suggest something better"
customer-" i really want this"
me-"ok but I bet I'm going to see you back in a couple days to trade it in and your going to be out a nice chunk of change"
customer-"i don't care, would you just sell me the damn game"
me-"yes sir, i'm very sorry i was only trying to help"
customer-"are you done talking? why have you not rung me up yet?"
Me-"here's your game, have a great evening"

QUEUE 2 DAYS LATER

customer acting like they had never seen me before

customer-"can i return this to get another game?"
me-"i can take it as a trade in but I can not take back opened new games to exchange for another"
customer-"but i didn't like the game and i want my money back"
me-"well i begged you not to buy it"
customer-"wtf kind of store asks people not to buy things?" "i want to speak with your manager"
me-"I'm the manager on duty right now sir" "i will be happy to trade it in for store credit for you but i can not take back an opened new game in exchange for another because you did not like it"
customer-"the the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard" "fine whatever i'll just take credit and get something else"
me-"ok sir can I help you pick out something else then?"
customer-"i dont need your help, i'm quite capable of something as simple as picking out a video game i will like"
me-"ok sir just let me know when your ready"
customer-"here i'd like this, i like shoot em up games" hands me perfect dark zero

at least this time he got used so he can bring it back tomorrow when he hates it.:applause:[/QUOTE]

Sir. You are awesome.
 
I refused to ring up a guy once when he brought me a copy of Damnation. I told him that I couldn't, in good conscience, let him purchase that game. He laughed. I told him that I was serious. Luckily, he listened and found something else.

Man, that game is terrible.
 
My last job was at Sears a few years ago, there were numerous times I just cracked up. The whole environment of retail is hilarious, the managers were by far the most intriguing part of the environment. Some of these folks I swear, these people would go home and bleed blue and white for Sears Roebuck & Co. PROUDLY, yet they seem a bit miserable when at work, or maybe it was just when I was around them haha. I was the perfect employee. I walked in really high one day and someone asked me to look at a video game and I just fell on the floor laughing, literally. I constantly saw the "Office Space" of every retail environment. I had this constant joke with the asset protection department, every time I knew I was around a camera I'd start doing goofy crap, funny faces, stuffing stuff in my pockets then waving at the camera. There was this on going joke every time they opened one of the cages in the warehouse that I was going in to steal a camera, every time man. I thought Sears was incredibly dysfunctional for the big retail store it used to be so I got away with a bunch of things I probably shouldn't have done, hour long lunch breaks for one.

The best memory I have of that place was when a homeless guy who had a speech impediment tried to return a tape deck walkmen from the 80s. It was caked in dirt, didnt even had headphones attached to it.

I would get some stupid questions on TVs as I worked in the electronics department, but most folks were OK. Maybe I dont remember the bad because I was making pretty good money and bought really good weed from my coworker. I truely enjoyed the crazy vacuum people who (you would notice over the course of an hour or so) test every vacuum available on the sales floor then leave without making a purchase, I'm glad I didn't work in that department.

When I worked at a video store, Hollywood Video, a ton of people would constantly return empty dvd cases which I can understand but then they would flip out on fees they had. Sometimes people had like a few hundred dollars of late fees, they just never ever paid it, im like right on, stick it to the man.. then Hollywood video went out of business. The best of that store was 1) when people would return porn instead of their dvds. 2) when we played rated R movies on the store display tvs (like 5 tvs around the store) and kids would come in with their parents, D'oh. 3) when my coworker's girlfriend called in and cursed out my boss.
 
:rofl:

I especially love vacuum cleaner customers. Its like they are looking for that special type of vacuum cleaner that has some kind of special suck ability to it that is totally unexplainable yet somehow they will know it when they see it. To me... either a vacuum cleaner sucks or it does not suck.
 
I used to work at a K-Mart some time ago, and about once per month, a guy would come in and look at the percolators, and just tell me the entire history of them, and the pros and cons of each one on the shelf. He would talk about them for like an hour each time. I always thought it was the most random thing to have such a wealth of knowledge of.

There was also a guy that tried to return a TV because he swore the government had a camera in it and was watching him.
 
I've had many people threaten to sue because a car they saw online was sold. You'll also find the ones who try and make ridiculous deals. "I want $5000 under invoice for a brand new car that never even makes it to the lot unsold!" Thanks but no thanks.

Working in service is where the real gold apparently happens though. I have a friend who has been asked if she's ever done anything sexual with an animal. We also have many people who cancel their OnStar trial because they think someone is watching them for reasons other than safety.
 
[quote name='Ac1d Blast']1) when people would return porn instead of their dvds.[/QUOTE]

This happened at my local store... and then employees continued to check the movie out for months, lol
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']:rofl:

I especially love vacuum cleaner customers. Its like they are looking for that special type of vacuum cleaner that has some kind of special suck ability to it that is totally unexplainable yet somehow they will know it when they see it. To me... either a vacuum cleaner sucks or it does not suck.[/QUOTE]

Or it sounds like they possibly have some kind of erotic fixation with vacuum cleaners. (Now keep that in mind as you sell future vacuum cleaners. LOL)

And porn being returned at the video store, I believe it. I work at a public library that lends out DVDs and we've had customers accidentally return their porn instead. Its always freaking hilarious when we catch them, because we block their account until they come back with the correct item. There is nothing funnier than watching the little old german lady or the youth director of the local mentally handicapped mens' home turn red in the face and get embarrassed when you show them "the wrong video that you returned." Plus its a fucking library. I can understand maybe a customer accidentally returning the wrong book or magazine, but a porno? LMAO
 
This isn't a story, but has any retail employee been alerted to the counterfeit "Free One Sony PS3," "Free One Sony PS3 Controller," "Free One Sony PS3 Headset" and the "Free Sony PS3 Blu Ray Controller" coupons going around? I just read it in a communications update at my BBV store and I laughed my ass off. If some retail employee is stupid enough to give away a PS3... (I got nothing.)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
bread's done
Back
Top