Retail Employee Stories Part 7: "I'm Not Supposed To Be Here Today!"

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Reading through got me thinking about some morons from an old job of mine. I used to work as a graphic designer at a sign shop. It was unbelieveable the people that would come in and just have a complete lack of basic computer knowledge/how programs work.

I'd have people come in and ask if I could blow something up for them. I'd tell them yeah, so they'd hand me a logo that would literally be like 12 pixels by 12 pixels. Just completely unworkable. I'd then tell them that there is no way I could do anything with that, to which they would get pissed and tell me they'd go somewhere else. Really? What the hell do you want me to do with that? I mean, at least give me something that I can see. I'd also get the people that would give me a sloppy logo, so I'd have to take extra time and completely rework the logo in Illustrator. In most cases, I'd just be nice and do it for free (when I could've easily charged them much more). They'd get all pissy and ask why it's taking so long (in some cases it'd literally take like and afternoon longer, but still be done before my estimated finish date).

Then you'd get the people that would just bring in like family photos and want stuff cropped. Seriously? You cant open it in fucking Paint and do that yourself? I'd be nice and tell them that I could do it, but we'd still charge them a base price for anything, and that it'd be much easier for them to just do it at home. They'd get all huffy and angry toward me, for trying to save them money, while ALSO teaching them how to do something.

It's just totally amazing at the complete lack of respect/decency/common courtesy that most people in the world have.
 
New post on my blog.

SEH, I feel you there. I just do graphic design-esque things for fun and am frequently asked by my mother to design business cards or flyers or a logo or...you get the idea. Anyway, I work AND go to school so my free time is very limited and I like to spend it doing things with my husband. ;)
I give her an estimate that ranges from two weeks to a month and she's like, "How hard is this stuff? Really? I thought it would just take you a couple hours!!" to which I reply, "Not very, and it would were I not already so strapped for time and if you make me angry it's going to take even longer."
The advantage here is that it's my mom so I still *should* be nice, but don't have to be. :)
 
[quote name='Survivalism']and this woman starts asking me about High School Musical underwear.[/QUOTE]


Is there such a thing As HSM Underwear
 
[quote name='GameBoyee']Is there such a thing As HSM Underwear[/QUOTE]

I'm wearing them right now.

It's all I'm wearing.
 
[quote name='Zorpheus']It's a common sentiment among retail workers that everyone should be forced to work retail for at least one year to teach them how to be a better customer.[/QUOTE]

Some of us are good customers until an employee pushes us without that kind of training... I personally think working retail should be reserved for convicts. If I had to work retail for a year, I'd likely murder someone in front of a crowd.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']That's why I go out of my way to be as cool as I can be with people in stores. Maybe you have to work retail to know what it's like dealing with stupid and rude people all day. One night, when I used to work at Toys R Us, I was carrying some kind of 50-pound sandbox or a pool or something up a ladder to put it in the overstock where it literally touched the rafters. I was standing on the top rung struggling to get the thing over my head, and this woman starts asking me about High School Musical underwear. Just, really? I looked like an amazing choice for that question?[/QUOTE]

Maybe you shouldn't have been wearing HSM underwear while trying to lift things over your head.
 
[quote name='GameBoyee']Is there such a thing As HSM Underwear[/QUOTE]
You ask this question knowing that HSM is a Disney property.
 
I had this just the other day and it confused the hell out of me. He's an older fellow who looks to be about 50. M: Me, H: Him.

H: *walks up to me and asks* I need just a dvd player.
M: Alrighty, we have two of them, there's the two here a toshiba for $ and a sony for $.
H: And how big are the screens?
M: Screens?
H: Yeah, how big are the screens?
M: Well, these don't have screens, but we have these portable dvd players here an 8.5 inch and a 9 inch.
H: No, I'm looking for a really large screen.
M: Ok, so you're looking for a really large screen with a dvd player.
H: Yeah.
M: Alright, well we have these tv's over here with dvd players built into them, there's a 19 inch, 26 inch, and a 32 inch.
H: Ok, show me the 26 incher.
M: Ok, It's right over here.
H: But that's a tv. I don't need a tv, I just need a dvd player!
M: But I showed you just a dvd player and you said you wanted a screen with it.
H: That's right, I want the biggest screen possible with just a dvd player. You know what I'm looking for!
M: Sir, I have no idea what you're looking for.
H: Fine, I'm going over to Best Buy, they'll have what I'm looking for.
 
HAHAHAHA! I never knew we had a thread for this kind of stuff!

After working at Kmart for a year and some change, I racked up some GREAT stories!

The week before I moved away and quit, I arrived and there was a line of about 20 people waiting at the Electronics counter and I couldn't find any at the front check outs or in our Little Caesar's Pizza place in the front.

I walked around looking for the managers or any co-workers (my shift hadn't started yet) and I finally found everyone out in the Garden shop area. Literally, a crowd of like, 40 people all crowded around the fork lift and I'm like WTF?

Turns out, the manager of the Garden Shop (an elderly woman) ran over the Electronics guy when she asked him to help her move some bags of mulch. His back got seriously fucked up for it and an ambulance came by and got him and it was a huge scene.

SOOOOO, I grab my manager and ask, "Who's watching the store?"

"Cuuuuuurtis! That'd be you watching it?"

"I don't clock in for another 20 mins."

"Suzie's watching it?"

Suzie: "What? I've been out here the entire time..."

I lol'd and sat there staring at him as he runs to the back of the store to review the security tapes to make sure no one had stolen anything.

The next day, I get a call from the guy that'd been ran over:

"Curtis!!! Guess what?"

"What?"

"Jason (head manager, with the company for 10 years) was fired for falsifying the testing reports for Smurf's(Garden manager, worked in the store for 20 years) forklift training! Andy (HR guy, actually started working at Kmart when he was 17 as a cart pusher, now aged 53) got fired too, for teaching Jason how to falsify the reports!!!!"

"Wow. *hangs up*


Another great time was BF!

My job was as a Service Associate, meaning that I performed any tasks my managers deemed necessary. Including Janatorial Duties.

I was there when we opened bright and early.

Walking past the line that actually went aroud the store twice, I couldn't help but think, "This may be crazier than I thought..."

Then I get inside to find out that the other person that was going to be covering my breaks decided to skip work. I was walked through the deals of the day, and told to do anything the customer asks. ANYTHING.

THe first hour or so was okay, until I got called to Sporting Goods, which wasn't a place that I worked often and a customer tells me, "I NEED A TYE-DYE LIME GREEN MAGELLAN WITH 28 INCH WHEELS!!!! HURRY! I HAVE A BRUNCH TO GET READY FOR!!!"

First thing?

It was 7.30 AM, who gets ready for Brunch that early? I mean, I could understand if it was a fancy Brunch of some sort.. But this lady did not seem the fancy type.

Second?

Tye-Dye Lime Green? Who the hell expects that color to be readily stocked?

I scanned through the bike racks and came up with nothing but Brown, so I went into our loft and checked it out and we still didn't have anything, so I came back out and told her that we didn't have any, and I'm sure it was because that Magellan didn't make Tye-Dye Lime Green bike and she called me a liar and told me to call the manager. As I went for the phone, she screamed at me, "YOU RUINED MY KIDS' CHRISTMAS!!!" and ran off.

It was insane.

And after that, I had to go get carts, for the fourth time that morning. And one cart had about 5 poopy diapers in it.

Not cool.
 
[quote name='CaptainJoel']As I went for the phone, she screamed at me, "YOU RUINED MY KIDS' CHRISTMAS!!!" and ran off.

It was insane.

And after that, I had to go get carts, for the fourth time that morning. And one cart had about 5 poopy diapers in it.

[/QUOTE]

I guess you learned what her kids thought of that, eh?
 
[quote name='georox']I guess you learned what her kids thought of that, eh?[/QUOTE]
I never thought of that until now.

You are a genius, sir Geo!
 
I just read this entire thread.... I worked in retail for 7 years and can't even think of any good stories right now. :( All I can add is that I hate how people will go out of their way to put something back where it doesn't belong rather then taking that extra two seconds to put it back where they got it from.

My current annoyance is (my job is stocking beer at grocery stores.) when people ask "what's a good deal right now?" and they could get a 30pk of cans for $18.99 or whatever. "Oh but I'm not going to drink that many... i'll just pay $17.99 for a 18pk". ... To which I have asked a few people if they were never going to drink again since it doesn't expire for like 6 months. Luckily since I work for the distributor and not the stores, I have a but more leniency with what I can say. :) I'll come back if I remember any good stories.
 
Two weeks before Christmas it got really crazy last year. Since Kmart's the only store that had Layaway we had a shit-ton of people back there at all hours. This particular day, I was scheduled to come in a half-hour early to discuss the scheduled time off for a week-long trip to California that I'd been planning since the month before I'd actually been hired. I normally wouldn't have had to come in and discuss it, but we'd already gone through two store coaches and I was supposed to explain to him that I'd been promised the time off.

I walked in the door and immediately was asked to go back to layaway to help the manager out with carry outs, before I even got to clock in! Which ended up causing this large scheduling error with the HR guy because he got me confused with the other Joel that worked there.

After I finally got done with the layaways (which took roughly two hours), I was called to the manager's office to discuss my time off. I walk to the back and what do I see?

The head of security giving the manager a full massage on the desk. What made this doubly weird was that the manager was also my friend's step mom. Awwwwwwkward. I came in the door halfway and was like, "I can.. come back later?" and they were like, nooo, it's ok. Sit! and as I did, the manager slipped the head of security a $20. We then discussed my vacation and everything was cool.

As I went to leave she asked, "You're closing tonight, right?"

And then it hit me.

TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT I CLOSED AT MIIIIIIIDNIGHT! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

I had never closed at Midnight before, and it was a big deal because we were kinda on the bad side of town and at night all the crackheads walked around all the time and there were meetings and crazy shit in the parking lot. Big deal because it was my job to watch everyone that came in because Security took the night off.

It was pretty empty from 10-11:45 I just walked around with a couple of the softlines girls and talked to them as they made youtube videos about them riding around in carts/tricycles, but that's when we got a guy come in. He was acting all weird and kept "bumping" into things. After hiding in a rack of clothes, I saw him run his ass into our recieving area and prop open the door!

So you know what I did?

I started yelling at him and told him to come with me. "The manager wants to speak with you." and he started freaking out and apologizing about thinking it was the bathroom door and stuff to which I countered, "Most bathrooms have forklifts and employee only signs?" and then he took off out the back door and I didn't bother chasing him because I was sure he probably had someone waiting for him out there.

I then locked up and told the manager about it, which ended up causing this big hullaballoo about our security being tightened and stuff. It sucked.

Then the next day, I worked Layaway for 6 hours straight. I hate layaway.
 
My restaurant has a set of double doors in the front. We normally only unlock the door on the right (as viewed from outside). That door is currently broken and latched, so we've been unlocking the other door.

I'm standing outside last night and see this guy pulling on the right (locked) door. He pulls on it a few times, looks around, pulls on it again, walks around the corner of the building and stares in the window, apparently to get the attention of someone inside. That doesn't work, so he comes back and pulls on the locked door again. I'm standing there watching him, and he gives me this completely helpless look. I finally say, "there is another door you know..."

"Oh!"

If that isn't bad enough, he's not the only mindless jackass that makes that mistake. I've had people call me from right outside our doors to tell me that the door's locked, and I have to point them to the door right next to the one they're trying to open! :roll:
 
We ran out of everything at my restaurant today: to-go boxes, to-go cups, lemons, you name it.
We ran out of ice cream right after we had a huge influx of dessert orders. Five of our seven dessert options have ice cream on them. I had to go explain to three tables that they would need to choose a new dessert. One table said they would like the same dessert and to replace the ice cream with whipped cream.
As I'm walking to their table with their whipped-cream substituted dessert, the kid at the table next to them screams, "THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE ICE CREAM AND THERE'S SOME!" and proceeds to latch on to my apron and attempt to drag me to the ground. I managed to keep myself upright (even though I'm a fairly petite girl) and placed the dessert on the table while the kid kept screaming about the unfairness of it all.
I knelt down, said, "Listen here. That was whipped cream, not ice cream. You guys chose another dessert and I promise it will taste just as good as the one those people have. You can get the ice cream next time. And it's not nice to grab onto other people's clothes."
The kid runs to his parents screaming about the "mean lady" and they yell at me for saying anything to their kid, even though we were both in plain view when he latched on to me and heard the whole thing.
Motherfuckers.
 
[quote name='TeamDiscoveryChannel'] I wrote a blog about the 10 worst video game retail customers. It's been getting some good responses, check it out[/QUOTE]
That, sir, was awesome. Props to you.


[quote name='randomoutburst']We ran out of everything at my restaurant today: to-go boxes, to-go cups, lemons, you name it.
We ran out of ice cream right after we had a huge influx of dessert orders.[/QUOTE]
When I was working at Burger King, I noticed a certain phenomenon when it comes to stock: The moment you run out of something, ANYTHING, no matter how unpopular the item usually is, the day will then be filled with people wanting to order that item. IT NEVER FAILS.
 
[quote name='Zorpheus']
When I was working at Burger King, I noticed a certain phenomenon when it comes to stock: The moment you run out of something, ANYTHING, no matter how unpopular the item usually is, the day will then be filled with people wanting to order that item. IT NEVER FAILS.[/QUOTE]
lol, oh so true.
 
[quote name='Zorpheus']

When I was working at Burger King, I noticed a certain phenomenon when it comes to stock: The moment you run out of something, ANYTHING, no matter how unpopular the item usually is, the day will then be filled with people wanting to order that item. IT NEVER FAILS.[/QUOTE]

Oh gawd, that reminds me when I worked at a fast food, burger type restaurant for a college summer job. We had the most incompetent store manager. She made terrible work schedules (like having cashiers quit and count their drawers in the middle of lunch and dinner rushes, having the head grill cook go on break during dinner) plus she was completely stupid and clueless when it came to ordering store product.

And it wasn't a random item every week that we would run out of due to an unexpected rush. Nope, it was french fries. Motherfucking french fries. And we sold mainly combo type meals where everything came with french fries. At least once every week (but most commonly two or three times) we'd run out of french fries. What kind of fast food restaurant runs out of french fries?! How does a store manager not anticipate a need for FRENCH FRIES every goddamned week? And then my manager would try to "substitute" the craziest food items for the fries, like slices of cheese, a tortilla, a couple slices of lettuce, a tiny soda, etc. Customers would get pissed off and leave because they basically couldn't order what they wanted, and would never come back, not that I blamed them.

The following year I heard the store was closed by the owner for poor sales, most likely caused by that store manager's incompetence.
 
On the topic of shortages, lemme share this short tale from my time as a bus boy.

I worked for a pretty crappy chain restaurant. Think two steps above McDonald's in food quality. Anywho, I got a job there as a bus-person. From the moment I started, we never had enough of anything...food, salad dressing, paper towels, washing machine cleaner, everything. About three months after I left, I heard the reason from a former co-worker. Turns out one of the four managers had embezzled close to $50,000 over the course of years by ordering less than what we needed, logging in more than was actually ordered as "received", and pocketing the difference. Amazingly, despite such misguided management, the place is still in operation.

Also, if anyone in this thread hasn't heard of it yet, I'd recommend checking out http://notalwaysright.com/ . Be warned though, it can eat up a lot of time.
 
Salamando, that reminds me of my first job...I was 17, and was hired at a small family-owned Italian food restaurant. I was hired to be a server, hostess, and busboy (girl!) all in one. That got to be pretty hectic on a busy weekend, and don't even get me started on holidays!
Anyway the owner totally screwed me out of cash, giving it to his cousin instead and the cousin then also took a cut from our pooled tips! Jerk. And he fixed the cash register to charge 8.3% sales tax instead of 8.25% then yelled at me for punching it in manually after I discovered what shenanigans he was up to.
So his favorite thing to do was send me on errands. To get what, might you ask? Shallots. Lemons. Ice. Almonds. Why he never seemed able to keep essential items in stock is a mystery to me. Oh, maybe it was the blocks of cash STASHED IN THE fuckING CEILING! I don't know...I quit shortly after that. Some shady characters kept visiting late at night before we closed and a coworker and I were convinced one day the Mafia was going to bust in and blow everyone away. I then went to a marginally better but not really job at Posado's. >_
 
[quote name='randomoutburst']We ran out of everything at my restaurant today: to-go boxes, to-go cups, lemons, you name it.
We ran out of ice cream right after we had a huge influx of dessert orders. Five of our seven dessert options have ice cream on them. I had to go explain to three tables that they would need to choose a new dessert. One table said they would like the same dessert and to replace the ice cream with whipped cream.
As I'm walking to their table with their whipped-cream substituted dessert, the kid at the table next to them screams, "THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE ICE CREAM AND THERE'S SOME!" and proceeds to latch on to my apron and attempt to drag me to the ground. I managed to keep myself upright (even though I'm a fairly petite girl) and placed the dessert on the table while the kid kept screaming about the unfairness of it all.
I knelt down, said, "Listen here. That was whipped cream, not ice cream. You guys chose another dessert and I promise it will taste just as good as the one those people have. You can get the ice cream next time. And it's not nice to grab onto other people's clothes."
The kid runs to his parents screaming about the "mean lady" and they yell at me for saying anything to their kid, even though we were both in plain view when he latched on to me and heard the whole thing.
Motherfuckers.[/QUOTE]

If you had put rat poison in that kid's desert you might have been convicted and executed, but god would have forgiven you. :)
 
I haven't worked retail in years, but my first retail job employed the use of mystery shoppers, so someone asks you for a really obscure item you know nothing about and he or she turns out to be a mystery shopper, you'll get written up for it. Nothing like the use of spies to promote company harmony.
 
Our restaurant not only has guest surveys and managers visiting every table, but ALSO secret shoppers on our ass now. Good. Lord.
I feel your pain on those damn surveys. I hate them.
 
I worked at Best Buy when surveys started taking off like 5 years ago. We set up a station and would ask our customers if they would take 5 minutes to fill them out after they made a large purchase such as a computer or tv.
Since we actually had people doing it in store we had good reviews since most of the time the only people that are going to remember the survey by the time they get home are people who had a bad experience and want to complain. Corporate thought we were cheating since we had by far the best reviews of any store in the region. So they made us pull the machine.
 
Wow. Love reading this thread.

Well, let me start off by saying that I am a retail employee that works in a mall in Northwest Indiana. I work in a specialty store that sells products that are "Seen on TV". Y'know, Snuggies and Slap Chops and whatnot. I'll have been there six years come this March. And boy, do I have some great stories for you guys.

First, I'll go ahead and preface some of the stories I tell here by explaining our store's return policy. Our return policy states that a customer has 14 days to return an item for either store credit or for an exchange of the same item. This excludes all clothing items, personal hygeine items, makeup, liquid based products, cleaning products and repair products. Audio/video is final sale. We need a receipt in ANY return, otherwise we can't accept it.

I figure I'll start my first post here in this thread with one of my favorite stories since working there. I call it my "Survivor Mom Story".

Flashback to about September 2004. I've been working at the store now for about six months. In comes this older lady (I'd guess early 50's) who's looking for a few items. I help her find the items on the shelves and bring them back to the register. I'm ringing her up and doing the usual chit-chat dealie, asking if she's trying to get some holiday shopping done early (which earlier in the day someone had mentioned that they were doing so.) She says that they were for her. She then asks if I watch the show "Survivor". I told her that I really never did watch it, thought it was just another reality fad that would be gone in a few years.

Turns out her son was a contestant on the current season, Survivor: Vanuatu. Her son was J.P. She then mentions about how her son got a fish sandwich named for him at a local eatery (Fish sandwich, really? I hope when I go on a reality show they don't name the lard in which they cook with after me.) since he was on the show. I act interested and tell her to send my good luck wishes to him and the rest of her family. She goes on her merry way and I go back to doing very little than daydreaming.

Fast forward about three weeks later, I get a phone call. It's her, saying that the items that she had bought didn't work properly. I explain to her the 14-day policy, to which while in the middle of doing so my boss strolls in. I ask her to hold a moment while I talked to my boss about it. Now, at this time of my employment, I was a pussy. I couldn't bring authority to anyone at that point in time, in which that led to awkward situations between myself and hostile customers. So when she asked who I was speaking to, I quickly darted the phone over to my boss.

He tried explaining the policy as well to her, but she would have none of it. My boss finally caved and said she could get a store credit for the items she bought and told her that we do not give refunds. She agrees and says she'll come in later in the week to get her credit.

Couple days later she comes in, brings her items to the counter and hands me her receipt. Everything's in shape, but she claims that the stovetop griddle that she bought was "defective". I ask for her to elaborate, to which she responds that "it doesn't fit my stovetop!". I see...

So I tell her what the credit comes out to and she takes a look around the store. About 10-15 minutes later she storms up to the counter...

Her: "Can't I just get my money back?"
Me: "Sorry, ma'am. My boss said that you could only get a credit. He did explain that over the phone with you."
Her: "But you sold me defective items! I want my money back!"
Me: "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I can't do anything in terms of refunds."

Then comes the greatest line ever:

Her: "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I WILL CALL CBS, THE NEWS AND THE POLICE IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!"

Now, I probably had a dumbfounded look on my face when she said that. On the inside, I was laughing hysterically. So, being the pussy that I was at the time, I get the boss on the phone. I explain the situation to him, in which he asks me to hand the phone over to her. After about five minutes of back-and-forth arguing, she places the phone on the counter and leaves the store. I grab the phone and tell the boss that she just left the store, not using the credit.

She left our store and went down to the mall's main office to not only register a complaint about the store, but also to register a complaint against me. Nothing came out of either, though. She had her credit, that's all we could do at the time. She left the mall after making her complaint.

For the sake of this being a long post, I'm going to take a break here. I'll post part two of the story later...

...when she returns to the store a few months later.

And FYI, her son got booted out in the third elimination. He went on the rounds on the "reality television convention circuit" and then appeared on Dr. Phil as a holiday gift guide from Best Buy. I've got nothing against the dude, but his mother is a cunt.

Part 2 coming perhaps Monday or Tuesday.
 
[quote name='Regian'] He went on the rounds on the "reality television convention circuit" and then appeared on Dr. Phil as a holiday gift guide from Best Buy.[/QUOTE]

So they had him dress up as a big advertisement?
 
[quote name='Zorpheus']She could have been lying about being his mother, really.[/QUOTE]

Negative. I actually did see her in a photo on a local newspaper's website a few days after the incident. So it's a shoot.
 
Reading these stories has completely brightened up my day! Thanks everyone! :applause:

I work in IT so I'm sure many of you can imagine the complaints I get from customers. I work in a school so the sad part is many of the blunders are from teachers. Yikes! A few of my favorite ones...


One morning, I walked in, sat down, and had just put my coffee on my desk when I got an email that looked like this...

To: Me
From: Jane Doe
Subject: My computer has a file that can't close and i dont know what to do so would you plea...


There was no text in the body at all. I emailed them back and said I would be right down. When I got there, the person was sitting there...pissed off. I mean completely beside herself. I walked up, asked what exactly the problem was, and like some child who had seen a ghost, just pointed at the screen with tears in her eyes. Mind you, this person is of a different generation so I was trying to be as gentle as I could. I looked at the screen and saw nothing wrong.

Me: "Ok so there is a file you don't recognize or can't close...?"
Her: "Yes, it's been there all morning."
Me: "Ok, is it this one right here?" (Pointing at the bottom of the taskbar)
Her: "Yes."

I right clicked the file and selected close.

Her: "How did you do that?"
Me: "I right clicked the file and selected close." (What I wanted to say was "magic" but thought better of it)
Her: "Oh, I didn't know you could do that."


Another gem...

My boss came into my office to see how things were going, status of projects, etc. My office is located between two computer labs with two computer teachers. One teacher is younger and has grown up around computers so she can usually troubleshoot problems until a certain point. Not a problem. The other teacher is a different story. She claims to have a Master's in "Technology" and has been teaching for over 20 years...

Me: "So, X and Y projects are just about done and we are currently working on Z. That should be done in the next couple of weeks."
Boss: "And what about the Exchange updates?"
Me: "Those should be done soon as..."

(Master's of Tech walks in)

Me: "Hi Susan. give me just a moment because..."
Susan: "No, I can stand it anymore." (She has tears streaming down her face)
Me: "What's wrong? Is everything ok?"
Susan: "I have been having so much trouble with Word and no one has helped me!"
Me: "I was not aware of a..."
Susan: "Can you just fix it?"

(Reminder: My boss is in the same watching this unfold)

Me: "Uh sure..."

I look at the computer in question.

Me: "So what's wrong exactly?"
Susan: "There's no clip art!"

I take a look at the screen. She has a Internet Explorer open with an MHTML file; it's basically a redirected website/link, not Word itself)

Me: "Well this is an MHTML file, not Word so it won't have clip art."
Susan: "No, Word has clip art."
Me: "I know that, but this isn't Word, it's Internet Explorer."
Susan: "Well that's impossible because I made the file!"
Me: "I'm just telling you what the file is."

She was literally yelling at me in front of her kids and my boss, who subsequently called her superior and had her watch the entire episode as well. I love when people tell me that they created a file that doesn't work so it must be my fault. :lol:
 
Almost forgot a good one yesterday...

So I am basically the network admin for this school. In other words, I handle every little server issue, network issue, and any all desktops. I am contracted out by another company who assists me with the grind work: creating group lists, data entry, etc. So yesterday, with the help of my company, we created and imported 150+ email accounts into the Exchange server per my boss's request. It was a project that took me nearly 3 hours of grind work to do on top of the other grind work hours put in by the guys at my company. To be honest, it was pretty difficult because we had to change group policies and nerf the accounts to the point where they could only email within our domain. Again, no easy task. After all of that, this is the phone call I receive an hour and half after I left, on my cell phone that is meant for emergencies only. Since I live 40 minutes away from work, I better hear a blood curdling scream and explosions in the back ground if you are calling me. The person who called is from my school, older, and doesn't follow directions at all....

Me: "IT, how can I help you?"
Caller: "I see a bunch of new names in my email..."
Me: "Ok, do you recognize the names?"
Caller: "Yes, but they shouldn't be there."
Me: "Did you add them to your contacts?"
Caller: "No, they are new."
Me: "Read me one of the names please."
Caller: "John Smith."
Me: "Ok, that was one of the names we added to the email server. They are not in your contacts list, they are located on the server like everyone else."
Caller: "Why?"
Me: "Because it was requested by John Doe (my boss)."
Caller: "Why?"
Me: "Why was it requested by John Doe?"
Caller: "Yes."
Me: "I don't know, you need to ask him."
Caller: "Well, why are they there?"
Me: "Because it was requested."
Caller: "Well I don't see why."
Me: "Call John Doe and ask him."
Caller: "Ok, I will, but I don't understand why they were put there in the first place."

So, in essence, she was questioning my company's hard work, coupled with a tone that sounded like, "Why wasn't I informed of this procedure?" when it had nothing to do with her. Oh and did I mention she is a volunteer? So basically a volunteer called me on an emergency line to question my work on something that she had absolutely nothing to do with. :bomb:
 
[quote name='Pck21'] Oh and did I mention she is a volunteer? So basically a volunteer called me on an emergency line to question my work on something that she had absolutely nothing to do with. :bomb:[/QUOTE]
I hate it when people who have nothing to do with the process question why they weren't consulted. HATE IT! IT stories, got way too many.
 
WOW! I just read 7 pages (more like 6 actually) of these stories! Unbelievable! It's ashame how people treat animals, too. I'm glad that that cat found a good home btw :)

Here's my tale. Very simple and to the point.
I was volunteering at the local dining hall where they serve the homeless. and this lady has the nerve to walk up to me as im cleaning a table and wrapping up the day to "put a smile on your face and act polite" and then proceeds to make the rudest and most annoying face to me. EXCUSE ME? I'm volunteering to serve people like you who atleast could be GREATFUL and not start finding bones to pick that aren't even there! I was doing nothing wrong, I was just going through my cleaning the tables stage with the same happiness as I did everyday (Believ it or not, I actually extremely enjoyed that volunteer work! just because it touched me by helping people and seeing their faces of graittude (For the most part) after they got a meal from me and they thanked me with such a warm-hearted smile on their fae). but the nerve of some people is redicilous. to think that they have the right to be rude to us when we're only helping them! dont even get me started on a rant!
 
I work at Lowe's, where it's basically hard to miss a person who works there, since we have to wear red vests. However, this customer made me feel like Bill Engvall the other day.

I was walking up near the front and this middle age guys comes up to me, and says "Can I ask you a question?" He goes, "do you work here?"

I really wanted to turn to him and go, "No sir, I just bought this vest on Ebay, doesn't it look authentic? Here's Your Sign!"
 
[quote name='Pck21']snip[/QUOTE]

I don't work in IT but I have a pretty big family of mostly computer illiterate foreigners who always call me for IT help... I got so tired of troubleshooting the simplest of issues so I came up with a new plan:

1. Back up whatever they need
2. Format
3. Install Linux Mint

I know that for a lot of people this might create more problems than fix them but I've actually had minimal complaints ever since I started doing it. I've probably installed Mint on 10 computers already and they're all working just fine. :]
 
I placed a call to someone who asked for more information on a vehicle.

Caller: Hello?
Me: Hi, is XXX there please?
Caller: WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?!
Me: This is my first call...
Caller: She doesn't get home until 7:30.
Me: Oh alright. Thank you.
Caller: WHAT DON'T YOU GET?! I ALREADY TOLD YOU!
Me: I know. 7:30. I'll call then.
Caller: YOU PEOPLE CALLED ME 5 TIMES TODAY! WHAT DON'T YOU GET?!
Me: This is my first call and you told me she is unavailable until 7:30.
Caller: Well give everyone else the message.
Me: ...Have a good day.

So here's the universal message. Don't call XXX until 7:30 because that's when she gets home.
 
^ I don't know if anyone is familiar with my "queso story"...if not, you can read it here.

Anyway, this same lady is a regular customer (as I learned shortly after the queso incident) and she came in this weekend and got me for her server. Imagine my joy.

So they order queso...eat almost all of it...then tell a different server they didn't like it and want it taken off their ticket. Well, poor guy was weeded and never relayed the message. My restaurant always drops the ticket with the meal at lunch for convenience, so the uncorrected ticket was sent out. I go by to check that the food was sent out correctly and she taps the ticket with her fake nails and says very stuffily, "I ASKED him to take this OFF! It was HORRIBLE. I didn't know your queso had MEAT in it."
Okay, two things: she's had the queso before (and loved it, if you read the queso story), and...
"Oh, okay ma'am. See, I'm the only one who can access your ticket so next time there's a problem, you need to tell ME or my MANAGER if you want it fixed."
"I see. Well, this salad is HORRIBLE." Okay, granted...we just changed our caesar dressing and it IS horrible.
"Oh, we recently changed our dressing. I'm sorry you don't like it...may I get you a different salad or something else off the menu?"
"I'll have another salad. ONLY lettuce, ranch ON THE SIDE."
"Do you want the same type of lettuce, or --?"
"Same lettuce, YES."

So I bring her romaine lettuce (which is what's in the caesar salad) with ranch. She bitches about that too. "This isn't SALAD lettuce!"
Then what the hell type of lettuce is it?? You asked for the same lettuce!

Long story short, I offered to remove her salad from the bill and she declined after her husband and son gave her exasperated looks, saying she would "just eat it".

I drop their check, 86 the queso, and ask my manager (oh yes, the same manager from the queso story) to watch for payment because I had to use the bathroom - I hadn't been all day so I had to go right then. So I come out of the restroom, run into the lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look...
My manager calls me over and says the lady complained. About what? Oh, I gave them cold queso again. I also sabotaged her salad twice and didn't even take it off the bill. I was also rude when I was asked to take the queso off.
He said he knew what had actually happened (since the other manager had been the one to drop off their food and they said it was all fine) and that they could go fuck themselves. I love my manager. :)
 
If she bitches and demands shit for free and comes in there regularly, then your manager should tell her that she should find someplace else to eat in the future.
 
I'm going back to school for my Masters in Mathematics and I'm currently hired as a seasonal cashier. This is the happenings of my first day. And I'm not too sure what to make of it.

(This customer had on a bluetooth device which I didn't see until he faced me)
Me: "Good afternoon sir, did you find everything t..." *cuts me off*
Customer: "*curse word* couldn't find (i didn't catch the item) and now this fool is bugging me about something"
*2 minutes of bitching then hangs up*
Customer: "Sorry man, I was having a fight with the girl and I took my anger out on you."
*pays for items with cash + 10*
Customer: "Sorry for unleashing on you. Something for your troubles."
Me: *blink blink* as he is leaving.

I'm still not sure if it was alright to accept, but the associate manager just looked at me, she's "training" me, and said lunch was on him. Free tacos, yummy.
 
[quote name='Zorpheus']I kind of wonder why she keeps coming there if she has such a "horrible" time every visit.[/QUOTE]
Because she keeps getting free food, of course. She's not there REALLY often, just maybe once or twice a month...but STILL...

[quote name='tsmvengy']If she bitches and demands shit for free and comes in there regularly, then your manager should tell her that she should find someplace else to eat in the future.[/QUOTE]

My managers (we have four) typically don't make waves because corporate is looking to axe "underperforming managers" or "disharmonious managers" because during "these trying economic times, we cannot afford to alienate any of our customers." Okay, only that last part in quotes was actually said, but what the managers have read into it is that if they stir the pot, they get fired.
If it was up to me and it was my company, I'd say alienate the freeloaders because then not only are you not losing money every time they "don't like" something, but neither are the employees who don't get tipped by those people. You're "losing" business, but gaining back the money spent to keep those freeloaders happy and leaving that time and effort to devote to paying customers. Seems more logical to kick freeloaders in the rear for their troubles rather than reward them with coupons and vouchers...
 
Had to be a joke or intended for youtube or something I guess. A little bit long but fairly funny I thought.

caller: I just got back from Afghanistan, do you have any good war games?

me: well there is call of duty modern warfare 2, that's pretty popular now

caller: ok well I just wanna kill some shit, i heard that games pretty good, can I kill stuff?

me: umm yeah you can kill people in that game

caller: good well what games do you have for a 4 year old, my son is starting to play games and I want a racing game for him

me: cars maybe? has he played any other games?

caller: how bout an 80 year old man? what games would he like?

me: has he played any other games before?

caller: well he is a war vet, do you have any like Vietnam games?

me: yeah there are a few games :interrupted by customer:

caller: so how much is all this gonna cost me? thats probably like $280 or so right?

me: well it depends on which games you wanted but new release games like cod mw2 are $60

caller: are you guys open?

me: uhhh yeah were open

caller: really? even in the snow?

me: yes even in the snow

caller: great well how late are you open

me: until 10 pm tonight

caller: great well I drive a white honda civic so you can look for me when I get there, I'll be there in about 20 minutes.

me: ok we'll see ya when you get here, thanks!

I was waiting for the battletoads question that never came:lol:
 
Oh. My. God.
Okay, so we have some Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers on our menu.
Lady orders those crispers but without, and I quote, "the chipotle sauce", so I say sure.
I bring it to her and I kid you not, she looks at me and goes, "I SAID leave off the CHIPOTLE. I want the honey!"
Oh dear Lord. I had to explain to a VERY angry black woman that, um...gosh, if she had read the description then perhaps she would have seen (as everyone else seems to know) that the sauce is honey chipotle and is not a honey sauce and a chipotle sauce. And we don't have honey. Period.

Needless to say, she didn't leave me a tip. But I really don't think that was MY fault, and I did offer to fix it or get her something else, AND I had them remove the crispers from her ticket. Geez. What else could I have done?
Some people just should not be out in public.
 
A lady comes in and orders a pizza yesterday. 15 minutes later she walks up to the counter (she had been sitting patiently in the lobby the entire time) and asks if we had made her pizza yet.

"Uh, yeah. It's being cut and put into a box right now."

"I forgot to tell you that I don't want sauce on that."

:wall:
 
^I had a similar experience.

It was a very busy night and we had a lot of take out orders so waiting times became longer than usual. Once the orders are done, we put them outside near the front so we can easily get the orders when people come to pick them up. I swear, this old lady just needed a reason to cancel her order. She could have just said "I would like to cancel my order" and we wouldn't have needed to waste our time on her stupid order. Her food JUST CAME OUT and I immediately picked it up since I knew she was waiting. Guess what she said? "That food was there for a long time and I don't want it."

For crying out loud, just because all the orders that were out during the time were in a brown bag and yours is in a brown bag, it doesn't mean it was out there for a long time. Even though business is slower now than before, at least I don't see these retarded ignorant customers anymore that makes me pull my hair out.
 
I love when a customer asks me to do something for them that is something I CAN'T do for them unless I know who their server is (i.e. print their check or take their payment) and then can't tell me who their server is.
I dropped off a dessert at a table and the couple asked for the check.
"Okay...do you remember your server's name?"
(This is why we tell you when we greet you, we aren't just babbling for no reason...)
"Uhhhh...no."
"That's okay...what do they look like?"
"Well, she was, uh...short..."
(Okay, great. You've basically given me only a gender because EVERY girl that works here is "short" and about the same height.)
"Okay...that doesn't narrow it down much. Can you describe anything else about her?"
"Um. She had a blue hairband I think?"
I look up to see our ONLY BLACK, HEAVY-SET SERVER walking towards us wearing a blue headband.
"Oh, you mean STEPHANIE!"

Good Lord people! If she's black just SAY SO! We only have two black girls working at our store and she was the only one working that day! If she's heavy-set and you think that will help me figure out who you're talking about, TELL ME! I'm not going to be like, "Girl, table 24 called you FAT!" when we walk away from the table! I'm not going to say, "Girl, table 24 is RACIST, they called you black!"

She IS big! She IS black.
Screw all the PC bullshit in this world.
 
I've had my share of idiots, but mostly my customers are pretty decent. Walmart, (there's one in the plaza next to ours), does one heck of a job of weeding out the crazies and a-holes.
 
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