[quote name='mykevermin']I think that there ought to be a national vote on an issue so blatantly used to be divisive as this. I have a few provisions, of course:
(1) Anyone who has ever been divorced is prohibited from voting on this piece of legislation. If Newt Gingrich, to use one example, could not uphold the vow of fidelity he promised to his first wife, or even his SECOND wife, well, then he's not the kind of person who deserves to decide if marriage is sacred.
(2) Any vote for BANNING gay marriage should also be a vote for eliminating laws permitting divorce (even the old ones, pre-20th century, when divorce was only allowed in cases of the wife's infidelity). If marriage is a sacred bond, then divorce will not be allowed period. Domestic abuse? Cheating on you? Drug, crime, or money problems? 'til death do you part, tough guy. *
*As a result of this law, and in order to restore a modicum of reverence for marriage as a sacred institution, the federal government will hire 150 people to serve as its first "Department of Marital Security." Their task will be to take divorced peoples and reunite them. Second, third, ninth, and any subsequent marriages will be legally revoked, and people will be forcibly placed with their first spouse. Since we want to have respect for marriage, after all, the only way that a person is allowed to get remarried is, of course, if their first spouse dies.
Because marriage isn't just 'one man and one woman.' It's "one man and the first woman he marries, and only her, for

ing EVER." It lacks the bumper sticker pizazz of the 700 Club bumper sticker I've seen, but it's more accurate. Or, rather, it is if you have any respect for the institute of marriage.[/QUOTE]
I've enough posts here that I can probably just quote myself from now on.
