Bischoff - EVERYTHING WE DID AT BFG IS IN LEGAL LIMBO! When lawyers and judges get involved, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! WE NEED THE BELTS, THE GOLD, BECAUSE WITH THE GOLD GOES THE POWER! IF THE COURT CASE GOES WRONG, WE NEED ALL THE LEVERAGE WE CAN GET! Mr. Styles, please stand up. THE PHENOMAL ONE, WHO BUILT TNA…LOST THE WORLD TELEVISION TITLE, CAUSING US TO LOSE LEVERAGE! NO MORE LOSERS!
Rhino - Where’s that contract?
Bischoff - Here, NO! YOU’VE GOT A FAMILY…. YOU LOST TO RVD!
RHINO - I’ve got some stitches! I’VE GOT A FAMILY!
Bischoff - WHAT GOOD ARE YOU TO ME!?
Tenay - THE POWER AND CONTROL GOES ALONG WITH THE GOLD!
Bischoff - Without any further delay, it is with great honor and pride that Ric Flair, myself, and the rest of Immortal INTRODUCE THE IMMORTAL WORLD CHAMPION, JEFF HARDY!
Tenay - He’s the most important wrestler IN THE UNIVERSE because he is the TNA World Champion. Matt Morgan’s string of controversial losses continue.
Taz - Jeff Hardy is the most bizarre champion in wrestling history.
Bischoff - There is a reason that Hulk Hogan anointed Jeff Hardy as the man to carry the banner…because as great as he is and always will be, he will only remain great if he is challenged by greatness. HE BEAT A MAN WHO WAS A WORTHY OPPONENT, a man that I would like to introduce - MATT MORGAN.
Crowd - MOR-GAN! MOR-GAN!
Bischoff - Matt, I know what you’re thinking. Guys, we talked about this. There’s no need for a pipe! Nothing’s gonna go wrong here - we’re under the scrutiny of a federal judge! Dixie’s got lawyers who have hired proctologists looking at everything we do - TNA, from this point forward, is about fair play. We’re here to talk about what’s fair - I’ve watched the tape 25 times. I’ve gotta say that with all due respect, you could have beaten Jeff Hardy. You not being him has nothing to do with what’s missing in you - you’re seven feet of bad-ass athlete. The reason you didn’t beat him was because of that horseshit referee - Ken Anderson cost you that match. If you had a ref that knew what he was doing, you would’ve won. When Ken couldn’t wrestle, you gave the fans what they wanted, and you deserve a shot. After consulting with Jeff, Ric Flair, and someone who will remain nameless - you versus Ken Anderson, and the winner gets a shot at Jeff Hardy.
Taz - Good deal.
Tenay - SOUNDS LIKE A ROADBLOCK TO ME!
Morgan - As of today, he’s still not medically-cleared to wrestled. Your mental-manipulation match IS NOT HAPPENING.
Bischoff - He’s capable of wrestling. If he doesn’t wrestle, he can crawl into his snuggle, freeze his ass off with the rest of the nobodies - if he doesn’t wrestle, he’s done. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. THE MATCH WILL BE MADE, HIT MY MUSIC!
Tenay - Tonight, TARA IS LIVE AND IN CONCERT!
Ray - For 15 years, I’ve proved why Brother Ray was the focal point of Team 3D. ANYBODY COULD’VE BEEN MY PARTNER. ANYBODY COULD’VE BEEN DEVON. TONIGHT, I’M GONNA PROVE IT!
“Devon” - OH BY BROTHA, TESTIFY!
Taz - That’s definitely not Brother Devon.
Taz - This is one of the students from their wrestling school.
Taz - I guess we’ll call him Devon 2.
Taz - Devon 2 with the spinning elbow.
Ray - Slam him - GO FOR THE HEADBUTT!
Crowd - SHUT UP, FAT BOY!
Ray - DDEEEEEEVVOOOONNNN! DEEEEVOOONNNNN!
Crowd - Jesse. Jesse! Jesse!
Ray - DO THE SPIN!
Tenay - Right down to the testify!
Ray - DEVON - 1,2, 3 - GET THE TABLES!
Crowd - SHUT UP, FAT BOY!
Tenay - LOOK AT BROTHER RAY SCOOT!
Tara - BRROOOOKEEENNNN!
Taz - Mickie broke up an excellent lip session from Tara.
Mickie - I’m sick of this! I CAN’T STAND YOU! The say I see it, here’s only one way to settle this - if security’s gonna break up our fights, and it’s obvious you can’t do anything by yourself - the only way to settle it is you versus me in a steel cage! Only one is walking out! Let’s not wait for Genesis honey, LET’S DO IT TONIGHT.
Roode - Guys, MOSEY ON!
Storm - Gimme $20.
Roode - I gave you $20...
Storrm - JUST A BEER RUN…
Jarrett - Ever since Sunday, the massive support from my fan base has been incredible. Some are calling it my biggest win ever, I don’t know about that, but it’s definitely the biggest win in my MMA career.
Storm - Whadya call a woman with two front teeth? A BOTTLE OPENER!
Storm - WE’RE LIKE NOSTRADAMUS - WE CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE!
Storm - They’re two BIG guys!
Storm - The Guns are like a six-pack - just wanna drink ‘em up!
Storm - They’re two boys in a man’s world. THEY’RE HOLDING OUR BELTS FOR US!
Storm - They play on their game consoles, their intendos - WE’RE OUT DRINKING BEERS!
Storm - YOU WANT SOME? COME ON, LITTLE BOY!
Morgan - Ken, YOU’RE A STUBBORN SON OF A BITCH!
Taz - ZOMBIE HOT AND MUY CALIENTE!
Tenay - Surreally…Sarita, really on a roll.
Taz - I like the teeny top-hat.
Taz - LOVE THE PINK!
Taz - I hear some flappin! LET THE PIGEONS LOOSE!
Taz - I’ve never been so envious of a ring rope. Where do I sign up to be a second rope?
Crowd - DAFFNEY! DAFFNEY!
Sarita - Velvet, this is really starting to become a joke. Every time you get Into trouble, you run back to Angelina. I kicked your scrawny little ass and beat you TWICE, and what did you do? You went running to hide behind your girlfriend! You afraid of me? You can’t beat me? YOU’RE RIGHT. YOU CAN’T DO IT ON YOUR OWN, VELVET. So let me ask you one question? When are you gonna grow a set!?
Taz - They’re BFFs. That’s what the kids call it, right?
Taz - TIME TO GET ZOMBIE HOT!
Pope - POPE HAD AN AWAKENING. HE’S GONNA LEAD HIS CONGREGATION TO NEW HEIGHTS! Tonight, we will start by helping those in need. There’s a little boy, a little girl, sitting it an urban residence, with only one mom, one dad, and we are heading into the holiday season. Some may have a tree, but there are many that will only have a Christmas twig. Congregation, REACH BACK, REACH DOWN INSIDE THOSE POCKETS AND JOIN IN ON THIS DONATION TO HELP THOSE THAT ARE LESS FORTUNATE. Because this marks the beginning of a new era of the congregation! CAN I GET A HAMEN! With Pope, there is hope, cuz POPE IS PIMPING!
AJ - TEAR HIS BALLS OFF AND BEAT HIM WITH THEM!
Crowd - LET’S GO DOUGLAS!
(after Clashing Douglas on the ramp)AJ - DON’T TAKE MY MOVE EVER AGAIN!
Jarrett - Sunday night…
Crowd - YOU SOLD OUT!
Jarrett - FOR THE LAST TIME, I BOUGHT IN! I FREAKIN BOUGHT IN! SUNDAY, THE ENTIWE, ENTIRE WORLD FOUND OUT THAT I AM THE MOST FEARED ATHLETE IN THE WORLD TODAY! No one, and I mean no one thought that I could make even the Submission Machine himself tapout. BUT I DID. And now, it’s time for me to up the ante! It being the holiday season and Christmas is right around the corner… I’M IN A GIVING MOOD, I’m gonna give someone in the Impact Zone a chance to make something of themselves. Cuz I’m throwing out the first ever Double J, Double M-A Challenge. If any man, woman, or child can make me submit - I’ll fork over $100,000.
Taz - I shoulda brought my gi.
Jarrett - JB, I’m gonna need your help. GET UP HERE.
Jarrett - YOU’RE ALL GASSED UP BUDDY! Guys like GSP, Koscheck, and me are for real! THROW HIM OUT, HE’S DRUNK! Get this guy.
JB - The guy in the TNA shirt?
Jarrett - AND TNA HAT!
Jarrett - There ain’t a horse that can’t be rode and a cowboy that can’t be throwd.
Taz - Just like they say in Brooklyn.
Crowd - LET’S GO MIKE, LET’S GO MIKE!
Taz - I like the cougarism of Tara. Rawr!