The Carlos Cabrera, Hugo Savinovich, and Spanish Announce Table Wrestling Thread

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Much of what they are showing is, honestly, the shit we glorify from when we were children, as "the way it used to be" and "more wrestling than the shit they have today."

A bit humbling, no?

How do you reconcile this? To be fair, some stuff lasted about half as long as "Battle Kat" did, so it's not like Xanta Klaus or Phantasio occupied more than 15 minutes of tv time, combined, in the history of WWF programming. But Roadkill lasted for 5 years (I still swear his "Braddock" persona was worth something, somewhere).

And, to be fair, the OZ debut entrance was an astounding clusterfuck, but his airplane spin was *devastating* (and that was, to put it in context, during a time when a powerbomb was a lethal finishing maneuver).

I think a lot of wrestling fans come up with an internal list of questions they would hypothetically ask Vince McMahon if they ever met him. I've determined that if I only had one question, I'd ask "Who came up with "Rocco," and why the fuck did that get a green light?"
 
I met Harry Del Rios, the dude behind the Phantasio gimmick, after a USWA show several years ago. He was a super nice guy, but he has definitely been involved with some shitty gimmicks, including the one he was doing at the time, Spellbinder.
 
That's two questions, Myke. Trying to cheat the system by only using one question mark...

Then again, Rocco was terrible and we deserve both questions answered.
 
Yoshi got a huge pop

And while i love my seats.... im in the damn corner so fuck!

But i can clearly see the laptop!
 
Wow. David Arquette presented the first slammy award for the "shocking moment of the year" (
Nexus
). It was pretty awkward with him going "YES! The winner is Nexus!". They also plugged Ready to Rumble, which was.. unexpected.

CM Punk called Big Show The Giant, and asked Cole if he could do the e-mail announcement since "people liked it when I did it". Someone's dressed up as Kane in the crowd. It's probably SHP.
 
So yea.... yall probably saw me on tv because cena came out right next to me

He was in the tunnel and got spotted and ran deeper into it until the cameras hit him
 
I'm very glad that they took the time to come up with a compelling reason for Barrett to rehire Cena. No, really. That must have taken them weeks to plan. Master plans and all that.

Wait.






... Oh, and I'm trying hard to phrase this in a non-offensive way, but has Otunga gotten, uh, darker recently? Just me? I might just be a racist. Totally possible.
 
Miz girl ("Angry demon girl") won the "Reaction of the Year" award!!!!

She's on stage!

...now I'm thinking she was a plant or a family member of the staff or something
 
Holy shit, they actually brought the girl in?! Miz coming out is making this much better.

Her redoing the reaction, not as awesome.
 
So she was a plant the whole time?

You know, it would really do a lot for the illusion of a mystery GM if they would stop constantly showing the computer with the entire script blatantly on the screen.
 
She wasnt a plant. WWE finally didnt take 6 months to jump on the bandwagon. Gotta love when memes leave the internet.
 
I'd love to believe that they bought into the hype and spent their time and resources trying to find a fan and turn it into a mini-storyline, but.. come on.
 
I think you are giving WWE too much credit to know that people would jump behind that girl. They can't even handle the Cena storyline right and you think they had enough forsight to plant a girl to have that reaction and expected people to run with it?

That's beautiful. WCW disgrace being brought back up.
 
Meh, the cynic in me has a hard time believing she's not a plant. How do you track her down short of instantly grabbing her while she's still in her seat?
 
[quote name='JP']I think you are giving WWE too much credit to know that people would jump behind that girl. They can't even handle the Cena storyline right and you think they had enough forsight to plant a girl to have that reaction and expected people to run with it?[/QUOTE]

But at the same time nobody really "ran" with it short of the IWC and that's not really a crowd WWE caters to.

Besides, unless someone instantly went to her seat during the show, how do you track down one little girl in the city of Orlando without knowing a single thing about her?

/cynic
 
[quote name='Survivalism']But at the same time nobody really "ran" with it short of the IWC and that's not really a crowd WWE caters to.[/QUOTE]

True, but even when she is brought up on the show since the crowd has popped pretty good. I just think it was one of those random moments WWE seized upon.

Brotista should win this too.
 
[quote name='007']I'm very glad that they took the time to come up with a compelling reason for Barrett to rehire Cena. No, really. That must have taken them weeks to plan. Master plans and all that.

Wait.






... Oh, and I'm trying hard to phrase this in a non-offensive way, but has Otunga gotten, uh, darker recently? Just me? I might just be a racist. Totally possible.[/QUOTE]

I'm racist and I think he got darker too.

also: I have a great respect for Perry Saturn after that video.
 
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They had a montage video of all the most memorable quotes of the year. Best part was they included stuff that you wouldnt have expected that a lot of the internet fans talked about, like the mom from Legendary "I want my son back", Titus O'Neal and "Make it a win", Cottonwood's mustache rant, etc.

Barrett rehired Cena cause last week, all of Nexus said they would pull a mutiny over Barrett if he didnt rehire Cena cause they're tired of getting beat up.
 
I can't imagine why WWE takes the time to trot out Arquette, and have Lawler continually bring it up derisively... this is an organization that did not think twice about making Vince McMahon a Royal Rumble winner, WWE Champ, and ECW Champ... Steph as a women's champ... Shane as Hardcore and Euro champ. Did Linda win a belt, just to come full circle?
 
Swagger-Edge approached being a good match at times, Punk was amusing on commentary, Danielson's shirt is great, The Miz Girl's bit was funny, and the AND I QUOTE video ruled. Rest of the show sucked. Arquette sounded awful, looked like he was recovering from sleep deprivation, but at least took a good bump for Orton. Cena's incredible SEVEN DAY ABSENCE from WWE programming (not counting appearing in video packages and such) ended as he was rehired. Also, every PPV match is a stip match whether it matters or not. TNA-level idiocy right there.

Screens -

















Quotes -

Roberts - Please welcome actor and fashion designer, and former WCW World Champion, DAVID ARQUETTE.
Arquette - WHO BETTER TO REPRESENT THE INDUSTRY THAN ONE OF THE GREATEST WCW CHAMPIONS OF ALL TIME. I BEAT A MAN NAMED ERIC BISCHOFF - I’M SURE YOU ALL REMEMBER HIM! I should have won an Oscar for READY TO RUMBLE!
Cole - He’s a member of the Cole Miners.
Punk - This is all bad.
Barrett - Thank you. I accept this award on behalf of the Nexus. Of course, the Nexus WOULDN’T BE HERE IF IT WASN’T FOR ME. IF I HADN’T WON NXT SEASON 1, AND BROUGHT THEM WITH ME, THE NEXUS WOULD HAVE NEVER BECOMET HE MOST POWERFUL GROUP IN WWE HISTORY. And speaking of power, I AM THE ONE MAN WITH THE POWER TO REHIRE JOHN CENA! Of course, the other members have told me that if I fail to rehire him, I will be excommunicated from the group - THE GROUP THAT I CREATED. I’ve not yet made my mind up, but I’ll be making it before this night is over. You can all rest assured that Wade Barrett will be making many more shocking moments here in WWE. Thank you very much.
Cole - CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE, I’VE RECEIVED AN E-MAIL!
Punk - They really liked it when I did it…
Cole - AND I QUOTE! Mr. Barrett, I’m going to give you the opportunity to give us a shocking moment in a match right now against this man.
Punk - I bet Show thinks there’s chocolate underneath that gold.
Punk - Barrett’s a hero - he’s responsible for getting Cena fired.
Punk - That was smart.
Cole - How?
Punk - HE POKED A GIANT IN THE EYE. HE BLINDED HIM. And when I say poked, I mean he punched him and his finger slipped.
Roberts - Here to present the Despicable Me award, Kelly Kelly.
Punk - HOOORAY!
Kidd - Kelly, congratulations for saying more big words there than you ever have.
Kelly Kelly - Two words - SUPER CUTS!
Punk - Might be a compound word.
Punk - NO WHAMMY, NO WHAMMY…
Punk - YES!
Cole - It’s his third Slammy ever!
Punk - WOW! This goes to prove that if you work hard and you believe In yourself, you can make all your dreams come true. People ask me why I did what I did to Rey because he wronged me, and I get even. Right now, there’s another individual who has wronged me. There will come the day when I get even, so watch your back. Because I hold grudges, and after what you did to me, if you think what I did to Rey was despicable, you haven’t seen anything yet.
King - He should have 667 tattooed on his head.
Cole - Daniel Bryan drew the artwork on his shirt himself.
Punk - Kofi’s going Savage!
Punk - HOW DID SHATNER NOT WIN!? I DEMAND A RECOUNT!
Punk - When it comes to award shows, It doesn’t get any bigger than the Slammys. And it doesn’t get anymore Dashing than DASHING CODY RHODES.
Punk - Cody’s wishing he was still at the spa.
King - John Cena is fired, so he cannot be here tonight…
Barrett - I’ll take it - if Cena wants it, he can come and get it. I’m about to decide whether or not to rehire John Cena…And my decision is... I’m not gonna make it unless he comes out here and faces me.
JUST YOU KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. Attack me now and you know what my decision will be. This decision affects a lot of people - you, me, AND THE NEXUS.
Punk - This doesn’t look like it’s gonna be good. For John Cena.
Barrett - Cena, YOU’RE OFFICIALLY REHIRED. ON TWO CONDITIONS! ONE, you agree to face me this Sunday at TLC in a chair match. Two, you give the whole world what they’ve been waiting to see - you agree to go one on one with David Otunga!
Arquette - The winner - ANGRY MIZ GIRL!
Miz Girl - I’d like to thank my dad for taking me to Raw. (Miz’s theme hits)
Miz - Hi Kaley, do you remember me? Cuz I remember you. Look at that Slammy…it’s so shiny. I should take it for safekeeping. Can you do me a favor? IF ANYONE DESERVES A SLAMMY, IT’S ME. IN THIS YEAR, I’VE HELD THE U.S., UNIFIED TAG TEAM, MONEY IN THE BANK, AND WWE CHAMPION. THAT IS CALLED A GRAND SLAM! I find it amazing that tonight is the Slammys, because there are still three weeks left In the year, and if you want a moment of the year, order TLC this Sunday so you can see me put Orton through a table.
Cole - AND I QUOTE! Both you and Orton are gonna face former champions. Your match, against a former World Champion, starts right now… (Rey comes out)
King - Punk, have you ever seen what happens when you throw beads at girls on Burbon street?
Punk - Never been there.
Edge - Christian, CAPTAIN CHARISMA. How’s your pec?
Christian - Pec’s feeling better. I hope Alberto wins this award - I don’t think my peeps here in NEW ORLEANS have forgotten, and I know that I haven’t forgotten that he’s the reason I’m on the shelf.
JTG - YO YO YO YO YO! WHAT’S REALLY HOOD?
Regal - Here are the nominations for Knucklehead moment of the year…
Punk - The most important thing that’s happened tonight Is ME WINNING A SLAMMY!
Cole - Tonight, Orton takes on FORMER WCW WORLD CHAMPION David Arquette and A-Ri.
King - Don’t talk about David Arquette when the divas are in there.
Punk - Yeah, TALK ABOUT ME WINNING A SLAMMY.
HBK - I’m at an undisclosed location, for fear that WWE would try to get me to come back - and we can’t have that. In all seriousness, I have to thank you all for making my life so worth living. I don’t miss it, but I do miss you.
Punk - Hanicap matches are usually dangerous, but…I can’t say Orton’s in danger here. Arquette’s in Clubber Lang’s gi.
Punk - MIZ IS DOWN TO ONE STOOGE!
Cole - Ladies and gentlemen, 2010 had not only great action, BUT ALSO GREAT QUOTES. AND THE WINNER IS… MICHAEL COLE. I’m sorta shocked. I really wasn’t expecting this tonight. I’m so humbled by this award, despite the fact that I deserve it. I WANNA THANK MY COLE MINERS, THE MIZ, AND THOSE WHO PAVED THE WAY FOR ME - AND SINCE I’M THE ONLY ANNOUNCER TO WIN IN TWO STRAIGHT YEARS, I PAVED THE WAY FOR MYSELF!
Cena - I WILL CONTINUE TO BE A MAN OF MY WORD! I don’t care if he brings the guy from Fashionable Male or the girl from Wendy’s, OTUNGA WILL PAY.
 
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Raw was worth the money... but no memories

I literally got bored though halfway into it. And ill never question why cena is around again...
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Wait a goddamn minute.

Kane *murdered* Paul Bearer, and is not only not facing charges, he's in no trouble whatsoever and defending his belt as per usual at the PPV? And this is something they show on "TV-PG" programming?

Sal Alosi should be so lucky.

Also, this video is tragic and touching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zChsn8__kRI[/QUOTE]


It's TV-PG because they'll skate around the word "murder" with friendlier euphemisms.

I'm just glad the goofy promos are now over. Those "Edge kidnaps Paul Bearer" segments would have given me a headache if SmackDown had been in my primary focus. All I heard during them was Paul Bearer shouting "Kane" and Kane shouting "Paul." In all honesty, I still have Paul Bearer's whiny voice stuck in my head.

I'm glad Perry's better. I had no idea he had been shot. That could mess up the mind of even the strongest person. But yes, I'm definitely glad to see him alive and well.

[quote name='JP']That little video montage was full of just.....wow.[/QUOTE]


I cannot believe they actually aired the Mike Tyson "Put your dick in your nostril" promo he cut on Hornswoggle. I guess TV-PG means something new, in today's word, or something. Basic cable channels get to curse and Tyson gets to shove dicks in nostrils.

WHAT A WORLD
 
Scorch, is that what he really said? I had always been under the impression that Mike Tyson said what it sounded like he said. Well, huh. Thanks for letting me know. :)
 
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