The Christmas Creature Wrestling Thread

[quote name='007']I remember reading that years ago, but I still have the same issue with it... what would they do with Kong afterwards? She'd be built and built, it makes it obvious that she's too good for the women's division, but you also can't have her in the men's division.

My only quibble with it, which is sort of a big one.[/QUOTE]

I didn't watch TNA at the time so this is only off of what I've read.

They could have run an angle where Kong loses her confidence/starts second guessing herself after losing to Angle leading to a bad luck/losing streak where she eventually loses the title. That would lead to an angle where she slowly starts to regain her confidence/starts dominating the Knockouts division again. Could also lead to a Angle/Kong II where they can either have her lose and realize that she can't beat Angle despite her best efforts or put the strap on her for a little bit after an upset victory where they push each other to the limits.
 
MVP and Kaval are gone. Cena, Undertaker, and Christian are all out with injury. The roster is feeling pretty sparse and I am having trouble thinking of 30 names to put in a rumble without having to add in Beth or Kong.

Can anyone create a 30 entrant rumble list that does not include power divas or Darren Young? Bonus points for including as little Nexus members as possible.
 
Meh, I couldn't think of 30 wrestlers anyway. Don't worry, they can always throw in a few legends to complete the 30 entrants. What is Duggan doing now?
 
30 shouldn't be hard. Excluding the names of the injured, and also guys who will be in other matches, we could hit 30 easy.

Daniel Bryan
DH Smith
Evan Bourne
Jerry Lawler
Uso 1
Uso 2
Mark Henry
Primo
Santino
Kozlov
Sheamus
DiBiase
Triple H
Tyson Kidd
William Regal
Yoshi Tatsu
Zack Ryder
Del Rio
Big Show
Chris Masters
Cody Rhodes
Curt Hawkins
Dolph Ziggler
Drew McIntyre
Ezekiel Jackson
Jack Swagger
JTG
Kofi Kingston
Rey Mysterio
Trent Baretta
Tyler Reks

That's 31 names, omitting all injured roster members and main event folks (Miz, Orton, Morrisson, Kane, Edge). Also omitting all members of Nexus and, yes, also omitting Darren Young.

If you think Lawler is a long shot to be included, you still have 30 names. If you think Triple H is a long shot, 29 left.

I think they've got the number of guys covered. Even in the past they'd bring in one or two surprises for the event. I recall Doug "Who the fuck am I?" Gilbert showing up in the 1994(?) Royal Rumble. I distinctly remember the hillbilly music they gave him, perhaps in order to shame him as a southern wrestler (he was Eddie Gilbert's brother, a true to life Evad Sullivan to Eddie's Kevin Sullivan).

That said, look at those thirty names, and outside of Triple H, is there really anyone who could/should win it? They may have the raw number, but in terms of prestige, they don't appear to have the talent to make this Royal Rumble exciting. That's intimidating.
 
Though they've been trying, the lack of starpower is actually becoming a problem now. They coasted for years with who they had, but the loss of HHH, HBK, Taker (sorta), and even Batista has really taken it's toll. It's what was discussed when Cena got hurt... he gets injured, they have a real problem.

I'm hoping, then, that this Rumble is about elevating someone.

In terms of surprises, I'd love to see Jericho come back. Hell, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I'd be happy with Batista (provided he continues the heel run). Neither of them should win, but it would make the crowd pop.
 
So Ziggler, Kofi, and Del Rio all seem like choices to win if they will elevate someone with the RR. I can already promise though that whoever wins it gets the middle of wrestlemania title match and will not be near the main event.
 
it should be a requirement to have one or two suprise entrants in the rumble.. legends or a random name not on the active roster.

That is the reason I watch the rumble.. suprises
 
The spelling error is bad, but not as much as the thought that someone conceived of this idea, told other people, and that other people thought this was a good idea that should have been marketed.

$16 for Eric Bishcoff greeting cards? fuck that, I'd rather own Hacksaw Jim Duggan's foam 2x4.
 
In regards to the Eric Biscotti greeting cards:

beerhat.jpg
 
[quote name='mykevermin']The spelling error is bad, but not as much as the thought that someone conceived of this idea, told other people, and that other people thought this was a good idea that should have been marketed.

$16 for Eric Bishcoff greeting cards? fuck that, I'd rather own Hacksaw Jim Duggan's foam 2x4.[/QUOTE]

What is the target market for these cards in the 1st place? I can't see any fan buying these. How does the fact it's a bad idea get through TNA's merch department?
 
Probably the worst strap match ever between Velvet and Sarita. The strap came off Sarita's wrist twice...the 2nd time right before she touched the 4th turnbuckle.
 
So WWE is now offering refunds to people who paid for Raw tickets cause of Cena's injury. Wow, just cause of one superstar? Really?
 
To be fair.. they are citizens of the CeNation and as such they collectively impose on themselves the consent to be governed as such. :\
 
[quote name='TheRock88']So WWE is now offering refunds to people who paid for Raw tickets cause of Cena's injury. Wow, just cause of one superstar? Really?[/QUOTE]

Wish they would have done this with the house show I went to when I was a kid...of course, I had to have tickets for the week after Stone Cold gets piledrived on his head by Owen Hart :cry: The main event of Bret Hart vs Stone Cold became Bret Hart vs Ken Shamrock. #-o
 
Latest word on Cena's injury (From Meltzer) is that he only suffered a bruised hip. Not a big deal at all, and he'll be in fine shape to win every match ever (even those he's not booked in) within a few days.
 
[quote name='Mr. Beef']Good LORD TNA, can't you do anything right? :rofl:

http://shoptna.com/eric-bishcoff-greeting-cards.aspx[/QUOTE]

The amazing thing is somebody called them on this shit nearly 3 months ago and they're still trying to sell it in spite of that. This single page is TNA in a nutshell and "Eric Bishcoff" should be some sort of euphemism.
 
The show started off somewhat strong with the Foley deal, a good Roode-Sabin match, and an amusing OJ-EY bit, and then just kinda existed for a while. Velvet-Sarita was terrible, but did have some comedy with Velvet attempting to LOOK MEAN. Angelina did the traditional face move of attacking the heel who did nothing to her to deserve it, then kicked her in the pussy. That's become about as common as a pinfall on this show. The British Invasion vs. AJ Steroids was a fine way to setup Douglas-AJ, although man did Tenay's line about them having an EPIC match on last week's show annoy me. It went maybe 10 minutes on TV and was a FIFTEEN MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH. Normal matches have 20 minute time limits, but their IRON MAN MATCH was limited to 15. Oh well.

Kaz came out and looked awesome. Then he talked and man did that kill his star power. He rambled about Jay's family. Said they were like the Wayans, who haven't been huge deals since...well, my gut wants to say the early '90s, but the first two Scary Movies were really popular, so...early part of this decade, tops. Then Jay came out to get revenge on behalf of his kin and was beaten down by Kaz. Hell of a babyface comeback he got. A few punches, then BAM, nightstick shot. Five months ago, Jay Lethal beat Ric Flair and now he's getting punked out by the B-Rate Horsemen's Paul Roma.

Lil Red vs. JJ was amusing. The little guy with a massive little brother gag never gets old, and worked here. Jarrett was great with Eric later saying that the guys should all be at best as big as him because bigger dudes are too lumbering. The main event of Ray and I think it was Anderson vs. Devon and Morgan was terrible. The match was bad anyway, but it was made much worse by the focus shifting from the guys in the ring to Mick Foley being escorted out by the goon squad, then he beat them up with Mr. Socko, and then as the Spike logo appeared on-screen, they did something to beat him up. We never actually SAW what was done, but they beat him up somehow. Morgan and Anderson then basically gave away the entire idea behind their PPV match away for free, as Morgan freely him with a chokeslam and went for a pin, but then accidentally hit him with a clothesline to the back of the head to pin him. Okay, so he clearly has no problem doing SOMETHING to hurt the guy, so what real difference is there between a clotheslines and a massive fall that sends him straight down onto the back of his head? Oh, and Ray and Devon did stuff. They've really killed this feud dead, and Devon NEEDS a new theme badly. Red's theme is better. At least throw in a TESTIFY or something before it.

Screens -



Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong


The TNA World Champion - Oz










"TNA Wrestling for $1,000". "What is..."





Quotes -
Tenay - ON THE EVE OF NEW YEAR’S EVE, WE WELCOME YOU TO IMPACT!
Foley - Thank you and happy holidays to everyone out there. Unfortunately, the situation I have on my mind is not particularly happy. I’d like to call out a man I consider a friend - Mr. Ken Anderson. Ken, I appreciate this. I’d like to refresh your memory about how we met. We knew each other, said hello, but we didn’t really know each other well. You’ve got Foley, Mr. Anderson, and Miss America in the same room.
Anderson - And you held her box.
Foley - Yup, and I think she wanted us to take a picture of her with a soldier, and then us, but what she said was “do me first, before saying and then I’ll do you two, and then saying that didn’t come out the right way…”
Anderson - Maybe it did.
Foley - The biggest lie I’ve ever told in my life was “I’m okay.”. What I needed was someone to say “YOU’RE NOT OKAY, MICK”, so I’m that guy now. Title or no title shot, YOU’RE NOT OKAY. And if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your family - you’ve got a beautiful wife, and someday, there will be a couple little assholes running around. I’m telling you that you wanna look up to Matt Morgan - HE’S A DANGEROUS MAN, but if you don’t cooperate, I’m doing you a favor by saying you’re not okay.
Anderson - I think you, Morgan, and these people. It would be…if I explained how much respect I have for you, it’d be cliché. I respect you and your opinion, HOWEVER, I find it offensive that you’re doubting me. That you’re calling me a liar. YOU ARE CALLING ME A LIAR. I’ve been tested, checked out, and I’m mentally cleared to compete int his ring against Matt Morgan.
Foley - I’m not calling you a liar, but you lack the foresight to look into the future. LOOK AT ME.
Anderson - AND I APPRECIATE YOU SETTING THE BAR SO HIGH!
Foley - I walk like a guy twice my age. Since I’ve slipped on the Skechers Shape Ups, I’m feeling a little better. BUT THERE’S NO SKECHERS SHAPE UP FOR YOUR BRAIN!
Anderson - If you can’t get it on, get along… (Morgan comes out)
Morgan - So what’s it gonna be, Ken? A MATCH BETWEEN TWO GREAT ATHLETES, OR ANOTHER ANDERSON CON GAME!? No disrespect, one of the first things I learned is that you can’t trust anybody. It’s sad, but it’s true. I wanna make one thing clear, come Genesis when that bell sounds, IT’S GONNA BE ON! And whether you’re 50 or 100%, it’ll make no difference - I have no choice but to go through you and then on to the TNA World title.
Anderson - Con? Do you forget who you’re dealing with? I’M AN ASSHOLE - THAT’S WHAT I DO. I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get through you to get to Jeff Hardy. You’re not hearing me, you’re not hearing me, so we don’t have to wait til Sunday… (Hardy comes out)
Hardy - I’m glad to see that everyone’s getting along, but Ken, if I wanted to hurt you permanently, I could have. Ken, you’re 100% - you’re ready to fight. Tonight, you’ll be on the opposite teams in a tag match. TEAR THE HOUSE DOWN AND I’LL SEE YOU TWO AT GENESIS!
OJ - It’s our first new year as a couple…
EY - Yeah, as a team - MAYBE WE’LL MAKE IT TO PWI!
JB - HE IS MONEY OF BEER MONEY - ROBERT ROODE!
Taz - There’s a good chance Storm’s bombed. That’s my man there.
Shark Boy - I’d like to get on Impact, maybe call Super Eric. I’d do anything to get on the show, except dress like an old man and sit on the lap of a man wearing a diaper.
RVD - Okay… all right..okay… WE get it. I think it’s PAINFULLY clear to everyone. Eric Bischoff, you’re in charge of TNA FOR THE TIME BEING. That’s why I’m out here waiting for my MYSTERY OPPONENT. That’s nothing I can’t handle - I WILL handle this. I’ll tell you the same thing now that I’ll tell after I destroy your next obstacle - there’s no stopping RVD until the opponent is JEFF HARDY! (Robbie E comes out)
Tenay - HOLIDAY FIST PUMP!
Taz - I think he’s in trouble, but I like my tomato Cookie. Cooke Tomato?
(a good minute after he comes out)Tenay - WE’RE JUST FINDING OUT NOW THAT ROBBIE IS THE OPPONENT.
Tenay - Cookie got out of the situation…
Taz - Five par… STAR FROG SPLASH!
Tenay - Easy for you to say.
Taz - I’ve been hitting the rum candy for New Year’s.
Hardy - If it’s revenge you want for me ordering Abyss to carve you up like a creature of the sea. FIRST, YOU MUST PASS THE TEST AT GENESIS. If you win, you get me, BUT ONLY IF YOU SURVIVE!
Sarita - What I did last week was nothing - tonight, I’M GONNA WHIP THAT ASS!
Kaz - Last week, I DEFEATED THREE MEN TO BECOME NUMBER 1 CONTENDER TO THE X DIVISION TITLE. Bischoff, Flair, and Hogan have put a bounty on every title, so what that means is that I plan to take the title from the current champion Jay Lethal. Let’s talk about him - his HUMBLE BEGINNINGS. The childhood home… THESE PEOPLE WERE SO POOR THEY HAD TO BRING THE GARBAGE IN! The front door and back door are on the same hinge! It wasn’t just Jay that was raised in this crack house - there’s a WHOLE CLAM OF THEM. His brothers, Keenan Ivory and Damon Lethal, and his sisters, Whitney and Beyonce Lethal. I put the blame on the Matriacrch! This Is a woman who is so rancid that she fits right in with all of you at the Impact Zone.
Flair - WHAT DO YOU WANT!? KNOCK ON THE DOOR!
Foley - IN CASE YOU CAN MAKE ME MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR, YOU’RE GONNA LISTEN! YOU’RE PLAYING WITH KEN ANDERSON’S MIND, WITH HIS BRAIN, AND I’VE BEEN THERE. THEY NEED TO KNOW WHO THEY’RE PROPERLY PREPARING FOR.
Flair - YOU’RE ON THIN ICE. I SHOULD HAVE YOUR ASS LOCKED UP IN JAIL.
Foley - I don’t have the power to change the match…
Flair - WE’RE INSENSITIVE TO YOUR BULLSHIT. OUT!
Tenay - Sarita feels that she’s SO superior to the other knockouts athletically.
Taz - THIS IS THE FIRST KNOCKOUTS STRAP MATCH.
Taz - I want his job - putting the strap on Sarita’s wrist.
Tenay - Good luck.
Taz - Yeah, she might bite.
Shark Boy - HEY, YOU JUST KNOCKED SIX SHARKWEISERS OVER AND YOU HIT ME IN THE BACKSIDE WITH YOUR STAFF!
OJ - DON’T HIT MEN WITH YOUR STICK.
Shark Boy - WHERE ARE THE GIRLS!? Want me to call some mermaids?
Dreamer - IN 2011, I’LL CREATE MY LEGACY!
Taz - Why’s Jarrett always yelling at ya? You do something to angry the man or something?
Jarrett - Cut it! I faced Red in the Double J, Double MA challenge, and I might add, I made him tap out pretty damn quick. I said Red, good job - but I need more challengers. Nobody in this building can come close to me, so ya got any brothers or sisters? And he said HE HAD A BABY BROTHER. So Red, bring Opie on out her so I can send him back to Mayberry.
Taz - Wonder what Andy’d say about that?
Taz - There’s Red, and unless his brother’s invisible, he’s not with him.
Tenay - Could be his twin.
Jarrett - Come on in, Red, I’m not gonna hurt ya like I did last week. I KNOW I’M THE MOST FEARED ATHLETE IN THE WORLD TODAY. Your brother probably has stage fright - I would too if I’d have to face Double J. I’ll give him the first shot!
Tenay - HOLY BLEEP!
Taz - I don’t know his name.. BUT HE’S A LARGE DUDE.
Taz - Great quickness by…’Lil Red?
Tenay - Why not?
Taz - I think Jeff’s very content being held back, if ya get my drift.
Jarrett - I’ve gotta couple tweaks to the Double J, Double M-A challenge. No gaint guys - they’ll fall over, they gotta be my size or smaller. Also, they need to be exhibitions.
Eric - JUST LIKE THUNDERLIPS!
Jarrett - Yup, also, we need real waivers.
Tenay - Remember the EPIC TV Title match last week!?
Taz - There’s Rob Terry - he was the third member. Kinda like the Beatles, but different.
Taz - Brutus and Douglas are paisons. I guess mates ccuz they’re British. MAAA-TTIINNGG!
Taz - Rob Terry’s a big heater.
Taz - Man, you KNOW IT LIKE A POET!
Kendrick - I’M RECEIVING A MESSAGE. Nevermind - it was just gas.
Taz - All those fancy fellows caught her.
Taz - The entourage of fancy people are leaving. BYE GUYS. Buncha Ken dolls.
Rayne - I KNOW…Drink it in! DRINK IT IN EVERYONE! I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT SAY, SHUT UP! As I was saying. I know… AHEMMMM! I mean, earlier, when I put on this $79,000 Vera Wang ONE OF A KIND.
Taz - WHOSE WANG!?
Rayne - I was almost as speechless as you…SHUT UP! But I knew I had to come out to all my adoring fans, all you little people, and show you how beautiful I am. I AM YOUR CHAMPION. That’s right. Because I know that you people want a champion as beautiful, full of class, elegance, AND ALL THINGS PERFECT!
Tenay - And humble.
Rayne - AND NOT SOME BACK WOODS. CORN-FED FRUMPY FLANNEL-WEARING HARDCORE COUNTRY SLUT!
(Mickie’s theme hits)Taz - You rang?
Rayne - SHE JUST FINISHED HER PLATE-A CORN-BREAD, COME AWN IN!
Mickie - SHUT UP!
Tenay - THAT’S A $79,000 WANG!
Pope - I wanna adopt, a puppy, a dawg, or a litter or something.
Anderson - FROM GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN. MISSTTTEERRRRR! AN-DER-SON! (Crowd says it) YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT! (ANDDDEEEERRRSOOON)
Taz - Mick and Mike, look at this! Anderson’s saying that if you want Devon, here he is…
Foley - He’s doing the old aligator claw deal… I do that when the bill comes.
Taz - I know, I’ve eaten with ya!
Taz - HE’S GOT SOCKO!
Tenay - LOOK AT THE REACTION OF ANDERSON AFTER A JAWBREAKER!? He looks a little…WOOZY!
Tenay - ACCIDENTALLY…OR WAS IT!? Morgan with a discus clothesline to the back of Anderon’s head.
 
for some reason i should have stuck around for the main event. i already took that much pain, how much more worse could it get?

Please never give Kaz a mic. just my opinion...but god dam he is excruciating.
 
Kaz' promo was *awful*, agreed.

I enjoyed the Roode/Shelly (or was it Sabin?) match. I also found the MCMG t-shirt that's a nod to MC5 rather endearing, even if few of today's fans would get it.
 
[quote name='JJSP']Ken Shamrock's mother didn't like Ken Shamrock. You don't have to lie, PhrostByte.[/QUOTE]
I guess you're right, I'll stop.. thanks for liberating me. :D
 
After reading Lance Storm's blog, the match I now want to see the most isn't possible at this point. His rundown of that build would have been genuinely interesting IMO.
 
[quote name='strongpimphand']Kong will be someone's Santino's new girlfriend. I bet big money on it.

They will NOT let her just come in with a normal storyline. She's going to be someone's side piece[/QUOTE]

Fixed. WWE Creative won't let us down.
 
ox·y·mo·ron

noun \ˌäk-sē-ˈmȯr-ˌän\
plural ox·y·mo·ra \-ˈmȯr-ə\
Definition of OXYMORON

: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (as cruel kindness); broadly : something (as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements

— ox·y·mo·ron·ic \-mə-ˈrä-nik, -mȯ-\ adjective
— ox·y·mo·ron·i·cal·ly \-ni-k(ə-)lē\ adverb

Examples of OXYMORON


  1. The phrase “WWE Creative” is an oxymoron.
 
I love how WWE prides itself on doing exactly the OPPOSITE of what the internet begs for

"You want X to do Y? Well...we'll have him instead get in a program with *insert superstar known to squash his opponents*"

"You adore X? Adore him when he's getting the jobber entrance for the next 3 weeks! Bwahahahahaha...."

"You think Z storyline would make too much damn sense? We agree....so we're taking to all the way to the Nth power into obscurity!!!"
 
I really don't know who is worse on the mic, Kaz or Morrison. You can probably just flip a coin and decide who.

Kaz is complete garbage. I remember last month he called Morgan "Matty Fatty Chicken Patty" or something like that during a promo. Every every other sentence he's mentioning Fortune or throwing up that ghetto four horsemen sign.
 
[quote name='Habbler']I think all bad mic workers should be punished like Kaz was. Back to the Suicide costume with thee![/QUOTE]

Vince Russo would make a storyline out of that, too.
 
[quote name='Blackout']Kaz is complete garbage. I remember last month he called Morgan "Matty Fatty Chicken Patty"[/QUOTE]

I'll be honest - if he reserved that line for Matt Hardy upon arrival, we'd all be heralding his genius on the stick.
 
[quote name='Spyder187']Anyone else have the feeling that Hardy's hand picked opponent for RVD will be Matt?[/QUOTE]

It is certain
 
Helms mentioned on his last Highway to Helms show that he has a new contract to be on TV. I'm sure it's TNA because I don't think he would brag about being on Lucha USA. :)
 
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I'm watching the very first Clash of the Champions, and first of all, I still can't believe Tony Schiavone was serious with that mustache, but there's also a commercial for some kind of Four Horsemen dietary supplement. I think that might top my list of all-time superfluous wrestling merchandise.

"I ordered the Four Horsemen Top Performance System and it made me get three of my friends and beat the shit out of Dusty Rhodes! *Your results may vary."

Speaking of the Four Horsemen, I love this (5:05):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FHklGe0-xU&t=5m05s

Anderson out of fucking nowhere!
 
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[quote name='neocisco']http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxymoron#Types

Look at the first example under "Types". :twisted:

I really need to get some sleep.[/QUOTE]

Looks like I missed some fun. But! I just redid the edit. Hehehe

[quote name='Blackout']I really don't know who is worse on the mic, Kaz or Morrison. You can probably just flip a coin and decide who. [/QUOTE]


Kazarian. 100-percent. At very least, Morrison's heel act was pretty entertaining, if not good. I have seen Kazarian's work a lot over the last 10 years (i.e., World Wrestling All-Stars, Ultimate Pro Wrestling), and he has never cut an entertaining, or decent, promo.

I can't name one thing I like about Frankie Kazarian. I dislike his name, ring work, mic work, and appearance. I have enjoyed Lex Luger and Mark Henry more than Kazarian.

Pardon my rant. :oops:

And, that spot with Arn is one of my all-time favorite WrestleMania moments. I remember cheering so loud when he hit his Spinebuster.
 
[quote name='JJSP']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Im1Y8ofoqo

Matt Hardy's new video, filmed in front of a Cracker Barrel. They spend half of the video talking about the food, and the other half debating what to do with Matt's greasemullet.

The jokes write themselves, people.[/QUOTE]

The worst part for me was the kid getting corrected on the Hurricane Helms pose by his old man. I can just hear the father later yelling at his kid for not saying "what's up with that," drinking chocolate milk on camera, and embarassing him in front of the great Matt Hardy. Wouldn't you, as a grown ass man and father, see that your kid was embarassed in front of the Cracker Barrel and tone the shit down a bit?
 
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