Hogan - BIG BOOTY DADDY, WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE! YOU’VE MADE IMMORTAL REALLY IMMORTAL! MAN I LOVE SCOTT STEINER, BIG BOOTY!
Sting - HEY TERRY, YA SCARED OF THE UNKNOWN!? LIKE THE MONSTER UNDERNEATH YOUR BED! BUT HE WAS NEVER THERE! HAHAHAHAHA! THE SHOW’S GONNA START, YA NERVOUS!? CUZ YA SHOULD BE!
Hogan - I JUST DON’T GET HOW SOMEONE WHO WAS SO GREAT COULD BE SUCH A COWARD. HIDE THE BALL, MARCO POLO! I GOT A DATE WITH YOU, AND IT’LL BE ON MY TERMS. BUT SOMEONE WHO’S GOT A DAY SET IN ABOUT 2 WEEKS HAD BETTER GET HIS BUTT OUT HERE. EITHER COME OUT HERE OR I’LL COME GET YA, BROTHER!
Taz - Hulkster calling the world champ to the principal’s office.
Hogan - WELL CHAMP,. I’M GLAD YOU COULD TAKE TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE, BUT THIS IS GONNA BE REAL SHORT-WINDED. YOU NEED ME AS BAD AS WE NEED YOU. IN A COUPLE WEEKS WHEN STING GETS IN YOUR FACE, YOU CAN EITHER JOIN IMMORTAL AND HAVE AN ARMY OF MONSTERS WATCHING YOUR BACK, OR YOU CAN DO WHAT YA NORMALLY DO AND FACE THIS CERTIFIED LUNATIC ONE ON ONE. BUT IF YA CHOOSE DOOR 2, NOT ONLY WILL YOU LOSE THE TITLE, YOU’LL LEAVE WITHOUT ONE SHRED OF COCKINESS THAT YOU MAY’VE HAD BEFORE THE MATCH!
Anderson - Really? REALLY!? You gonna slap the cockiness outta me - I GOT PLENTY OF COCKINESS TO SPARE. I’M THE COCK OF THIS WALK. BUT YOU GUYS THINK I NEED TO GET INTA BIZNESS WITH YA FELLERS TO BE SUCCESSFUL. DO YOU REMEMBER SLAMMIVERSARY!? I FRIGGIN DOMINATED STING AND WON THIS TITLE BY MYSELF! AND I DID IT WHILE BARELY BREAKING A SWEAT! SO WHY IS IT GONNA BE DIFFERENT?
Hogan - I didn’t forget, and I don’t think anyone else could, and if it wasn’t for THE SHEER GENIUS OF BISCHOFF, things would be different. Because as Eric and everyone else saw it, the erf was gonna count one two THREENOLI, WHEN ERIC DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE THIS LUNATIC RUNNING AROUND AS THE HOOD ORNAMANT OF THE COMPANY. YES, YOU SHOULD BE WITH US - I SEE A BIG DOLLAR SIGN THERE. YOU OWE US ONE.
Anderson - I DON’T OWE YOU A GODDAMN THING. AN ASSHOLE TAKES A VICTORY ANYWAY HE CAN AND TAKES ALL THE CREDIT FOR IT. I TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR MY VICTORY AT SLAMMIVERSARY AND I TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN 2 WEEKS FROM NOW. (Sting is shown beating up Immortal)
Hogan - NOW DO YA GET IT!?
Sting - WAIT HERE, KENNY, YA LOOK NERVOUS. I APPRECIATE YA LEAVING BECAUSE I NEED THIS BONDING TIME WITH HULK! BUT I’M NOT GONNA FORGET ABOUT YA KENNY, 2 WEEKS FROM NOW, JULY 14TH, IT’S GONNA BE SO SPECIAL WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO NAME THAT NIGHT! Hold on one second - IT’S GONNA BE MID-SUMMER NIGHTMARE! NIGHTMARE! Hulk, I’m trying, I’m trying, I’M TRYING TO GET THROUGH T YA HULK! I’m gonna be the first to admit it - I WAS A HULK HOGAN MARK!
Hogan -T HAT’S RIGHT!
Sting - I was at the Sports Arena when I started, and they had those bandannas out in the crowd!
Hogan - YA BROKE MY DAMN RIBS!
Sting - I’M JUST TRYING TO GET THE REAL HOGAN BACK, NOT THE HOLLYWOOD ONE! I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING. YOU SAID TRAIN HARD, PRAY, AND SAY YOUR VITAMINS. IT’S OBVIOUS YOU’VE TRAINED, CUZ WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT GOING DOWN THE PCH, YOU’RE STILL WORKING OUT - THOSE ARE STILL 21 INCH PYTHONS! Let’s go more visual! BONDING TIME WITH THE HULKSTER! LET’S DO SOME VITAMINS! One for me, one for you. I NEED SOME WATER! HULKAMANIA, ALL I GOTTA DO IS SIT DOWN, BUT IF I SIT DOWN, WE’LL NEVER SEE THE REAL HULK HOGAN, SO PLEASE STAND UP!
Bully - ENOUGH STING! I’M SICK OF YOU MAKING A MOCKERY OF HULK HOGAN! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A WANNABE! A WANNABE, A NOBODY, A ZILCH, A ZERO! YA NOT THAT FUNNY AND YA KNOW SOMETHING, OUR PATHS HAVE NEVA CROSSED. THINGS ARE GONNA COME TO A HEAD TONIGHT. IF THERE’S ONE THING I CAN’T STAND, IT’S A BULLY! SOMEBODY WHO GOES RUNNING THEIR MOUTH, HEY I’M TALKING TO YA! YOU’RE A BULLY, YOU IMPOSE YOUR WILL ON PEOPLE. WHAT YA DID TO BISCHOFF LAST WEEK WAS DEPLORABLE - THAT’S A FOUR SYLLABLE WORD YA PSYCHO, SO TONIGHT, IT’S GONNA BE YOU AND…Scott Steiner. NOW HIT OUR MUSIC!
Hogan - CUT THE DAMN MUSIC. THAT’S THE LAST TIME YOU’LL EMBARRASS ME. BEFORE TONIGHT’S OVER, I’LL WIPE THAT STUPID SMILE OFF YOUR STINKIN FACE!
Tenay - Impact is presented with limited commercial interruption thanks to Five Hour Energy because WRESTLNG MATTERS!
Taz - Joe and Devon have a couple of donuts on the scoreboard.
Steiner - NEXT TIME YOU MAKE A MATCH, GIMME A LITTLE NOTICE. I GOT HISTORY WITH STING, WE HAD MATCHES FOR WORLD TITLES.
Bully - How can I give you notice, I DON’T HAVE YA CELL NUMBA!
Steiner - THAT’S CUZ I DIDN’T GIVE IT TO YA!
Bully - I know ya got a short fuse.
Steiner - YEAH I GOT A SHORT FUSE!
Bully - Here, take my chain.
Steiner - I got time - WRAP IT UP!
Kaz - Joe, YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIIS!
Joe -

YOU!
Kaz -

ME!?

YOU!
Low-Ki - I WAS IN THE FIRST MATCH HERE IN TNA!
Yang - THE KING IS BACK IN IMPACT WRESTLING! HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!
Tenay - FLYING ELVI GEAR!
Taz - A FLYING ELVIS! AND NOT THE FAT ONE!
Taz - Low Ki could use this Elvis gear like a gi!
Taz - Yang’s kicks are like watching Five Fingers of Death - remember that movie!?
Yang - YANG TIME!
Taz - More like Missed-time!
Tenay - As of late, the X Division has been overlooked in Impact Wrestling.
Tenay - The X Division WAS the cornerstone of this company. It put the company on the map.
Rayne - WHERE’S MY LIP GLOSS, I HATE SHARING A LOCKER ROOM WITH THESE SKANKS!
Winter - I’m going to make Mickie James squeal like a little mouse.
Love - Our relationship isn’t synthetic, it’s natural - BECAUSE I DESERVE IT! It’s going to start with Mikey James.
Winter - Mickie.
Love - IT DOESN’T MATTER!
Hogan - STINGER, YOU SNAPPED ME OUT OF MY STUPOR! I DIDN’T FORGET WHO THE REAL HULK HOGAN WAS, I JUST FORGOT HOW TO ACT LIKE THE REAL HULK HOGAN! 35 years of hate and evil is gonna climb you out real quick!
Taz - What’s that sash thing over Madison’s upper pectorial region? A sash?
Tenay - It’s an elimination match.
Taz - Who can care about the rules when Tessmacher is taking off her shirt-thing?!
Tenay - Good point.
Taz - I taught her this - It’s ASSTAZTIC! And yes, the word Taz is in there.
Tenay - Tessmacher has been eliminated.
Taz - THAT SUCKS!
Taz - She was forearm deep there!
Tenay - How about Winter from behind?
Taz - SHE’S GOT HER BY THE TRUNKS! Or the Daisy Dukes.
Gunner - I got needles stuck in my face - THERE’S NO STOPPING ME!
Kendrick - I’m not the flesh, I am the feel.
Abyss - I WILL RIP OUT YOUR HEART, AND ONLY THEN WILL THE X DIVISION BE TRULY DEAD!
Taz - I don’t fight my friends. I don’t have many friends. Actually, I have none. That’s another story.
JB - Let’s make Destination X, the main event, official!
AJ - Are you absolutely sure you wanna do this? (Daniels signs)
Daniels - That’s how sure I am that I want this match. We’ve talked all week, and it’s not personal - you know it.
AJ - I’m worried about it being personal!
Daniels - It’s not about you or me - IT’S ABOUT THE X DIVISION WE BUILT UP 9 YEARS AGO! DESTINATION X IS GONNA CELEBRATE THE X DIVISION, AND THERE’S NO BETTER MATCH TO HEADLINE IT THAN AJ-DANIELS. WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW, THE FIRST THING I’M GONNA DO IS SHAKE THE HAND OF MY BEST FRIEND!
Taz - I don’t buy any of that!
JB - With that signature, it is official!
Lynn - Guys, hold on - it’s not like me to interrupt, but there’s something I gotta get off my chest. 4 years ago, I left this company - I didn’t retire. I watch, I see things, and if I see anyone arguing over who built the X division, I’m gonna puke. THIS WAS A GROUP EFFORT. THE X DIVISION IS ABOUT GIVING THE FANS SOMETHING SPECIAL! THE X DIVISION IS ABOUT THE WRESTLING! (RVD comes out)
RVD - Ladies, you got me so choked up - I need a second. WE’RE SELLING THE PPV BASED ON WHO GETS CREDIT FOR THE X DIVISION. BUT I’/M THE ONLY GUY DOING THIS STYLE WHO HAD THE POWER TO CHANGE THE STYLE! When you were dreaming of being a wrestler like RVD, I WAS ALREADY BEING CALLED A PIONEER. THIS WHOLE THING IS ABOUT BEING LIKE RVD, AND OBVIOUSLY I’M THE BEST AT THAT. I WAS X DIVISION BEFORE THERE WAS AN X DIVISION!
Lynn - THAT’S HILARIOUS! YOU FORGET WHO STOOD IN THERE TOE TO TOE WITH YOU FOR A YEAR. WHO WAS THE NEW F’N SHOW!?
Daniels - He’s just being Rob. He doesn’t mean anything. I think we’re all out ehre trying to take care of a movement in wrestling that was here for a long time, and while none of us invented the X division, we perfected it. If the 2 big matches are RVD-Lynn and AJ-Daniels, that may end up being the greatest PPV of all-time! LOOKING AT THE TALENT IN THE RING, IT MAKES ME SAD WE’RE NOT GONNA GET TOGETHER AND DO A MATCH… Ya know…We do have on emore week until D-X…WHAT IF WE GAVE THESE FANS SOMETHING OF A TREAT!? TO WET THEIR APPETITE! WHAT IF FOR ONE NIGHT, WE GAVE THEM A 4-CORNERS MATCH!? Lynn-Daniels-AJ-RVD!
RVD - I’M IN!
AJ - Do you wanna see it!? I THINK THEY HAVE DECIDED! FOUR CORNERS MATCH NEXT WEEK - LET’S DO IT!
Gunner - SCREW YOU ALL!
Tenay - Gunner takes over the lead in the BFG Series.
Sting - Wrong place, wrong time for you Steiner. Right place, right time for the Stinger. IT IS SHOWTIME, OFFICIALLY!
ODB - THE KNOCKOUTS DIVISION IS THE SHITS! BAM!
Velvet - I was bullied as a kid. ODB and Jackie think they can push me around with my back history? I’m not who I once was, AND NOW THAT EVERYONE KNOWS MY BACKSTORY, I’M GONNA FACE THEM NEXT WEEK!
Taz - Rosita and Sarita are muy caliente dos.
Tenay - Gracis Captain Obvious.
Taz - There’s the Mexican flag - they got it at the Big Flag Store.
Anarchia - YOU STUPID AMERICANOS HAVE PISSED OFF THE PRESIDENT OF MEXICAN AMERICA! ALL YOU ACCUSE US OF BEING LIARS! OF BEING CHEATERS! OF BEING CRIMINALSSSS! WE’RE NOT CRIMINALS AT ALL! AND THAT’S ANOTHER THING! THIS COMPANY HOLD US DOWN - WHY ARE WE NOT IN THE BFG SERIES!? BUT THOSE NO GOOD BOBBY ROODE AND STORM BEER MONEY, ARE IN THE BFG SERIES! WE’RE THE BEST TAG TEAM IN IMPACT WRESTLING - WE BEAT ‘EM ALL! SO FROM HERE ON OUT, WE’RE GONNA RAISE MORE HELL IN THE IMPACT ZONE! BECAUSE FOR US, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! NADA ES IMPOSSIBLE!
Taz - THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
Tenay - Are they taking exception to the verbiage of Mexican America?
Magnus - Anarchia, we’re foreigners here too, but the difference is, we’re proud of who we are! We’re proud of where we’re from - we’re proud of the fact that we earn our living in the United States! We’re not gonna kiss ass, cuz that’s not our style, but what I don’t like is people who come to another country and expect others to hand them everything without earning it. Shut up, darling. You haven’t earned it. You claim to have been through EVERY TEAM IN IMPACT WRESTLING!? YOU HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH US! The difference between you and us is we conduct our business like men. I WANT A MATCH. MEXICAN AMERICA VERSUS THE BRITISH INVASION, AND WE’LL FIND OUT WHO THE REAL NUMBER 1 CONTENDERS FOR THE TAG TITLES ARE! Just do me one favor - one - BE A MAN. GROW A SET OF STONES! And leave the birds at home. Did you not hear me? THE GIRLS!? Dos Prostitutos?
Tenay - IT’S ROB TERRY!
Taz - Blood’s thicker than water.
Tenay - They’re not related…
Taz - Don’t let facts get in the way of a good story.
Jarrett - We are standing here in the capitol of Mexico city (sirens go off). YOU’RE LOOKING AT DOS DOUBLE J!
Bully - Abyss, you looking at porn again?
Abyss - Where’s my mask!?
Bully - HULKSTA!