Foley - This could be the last time you and I commentate together due to the draft.
Cole - That’d really be a shame.
MVP - I look a bit different tonight because in a few short days, the 2008 WWE draft is gonna take place, and every single superstar, diva, announcer…GM, and even the refs are eligible. It’s gonna be one of those typical WWE nights where anything can happen. As I think about this, I’m cool with going to whatever franchise is gonna properly utilize my talents. I’m not only the highest paid WWE superstar, I’m also the most talented athlete. A change of environment might be good for everybody involved - I don’t think my talents are being properly utilized by the management of this show. Maybe it’s because they don’t know what they’re doing, or they’re distracted by personal issues like…getting married, or because they know if I was given the chance I should be given, I’d outshine everyone on this show, including the members of La Familia…
Vickie - EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! MVP, WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMING INTO MY RING…(fans boo) LIKE I WAS SAYING - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO COME INTO MY RING ON MY SHOW, AND TRASH MY FAMILY! YOUR VILE CAMPAIGNING! THAT YOU’D RATHER BE DRAFTED TO RAW OR ECW, I DON’T NEED THESE PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW!
MVP - It was not my intention to insult your family, and if you took it that way, I sincerely apologize, it’s just that last week, you asked me to beat CM Punk, and I did.
Vickie - Actually, that’s not what I told you to do… (crowd boos)
MVP - Hold on, I wanna hear what she wants to say.
Vickie - You won a match, but you BARELY did that.
MVP - WHATEVA, YOU TOLD ME TO WIN - I GOT THE WIN!
Cole - YEAH, YOU WON BY DQ!
MVP - My agent was supposed to call you, and when he did, you weren’t available to take them. I’m not trying to leave this franchise, I’m the face of it - but you make me feel like you don’t want me here, and if that’s the case, with all due respect, I don’t wanna be here!
Vickie - Well, MVP, with all due respect. (fans boo) WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO NEGOTIATE YOUR CONTRACT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS! You may feel unappreciated, but you have a contract here on SD, and you may feel that you’re aren’t challenged, but let’s see how you feel after tonight, because you’re going one on one with the ECW Champion, KANE!
Foley - Oh, what Chavo wouldn’t give to have a softened up Matt Hardy on his hands at Night of Champions.
Cole - Matt has no way of seeing Bam Neely in action.
Foley - Unless he’s watched ECW a couple of times…
Cole - MICK, THOSE WERE TAG MATCHES.
Cole - Bam, a former border patrol agent, calls himself a one-man fence.
Foley - What’s one man fence mean?
Cole - He keeps people away from Chavo.
Foley - If Chavo wins the U.S. title and Edge retains the world title, could they wear the belts at the wedding?
Cole - Of course they could.
Foley - I mean as a cummerbund.
Cole - I want to thank our fans for making Monday night Raw the most watched show on Monday night!
Foley - Bam’s looking at Chavo for approval and possibly acceptance - Edge did say that he’s like a third-cousin he’d like to know better.
Cole - HEY, CHAVO JUST GRABBED MATT HARDY’S LEG! AND BAM NEELY’S TAKING ADVANTAGE!
Foley - You know what Charles Robinson would’ve said if he was an umpire? (Cole no sells) You know what? YOU’RE OUTTA HERE, CHAVO! (Cole no sells again) You’re outta here, too! What? It’s Leslie Nielson - Naked Gun.
Chavo (to Bam) - WHO’S CHARLES ROBINSON THINK HE IS THROWING ME OUT LIKE THAT!?
Edge - Trust me to take care of Charles Robinson tonight. You trust me to take Matt Hardy out next week, don’t you? Tonight, I need you to take Batista, tonight.
Chavo - COME ON, MAN!
Edge - Chavo, trust me.
Foley - Cole, Michelle gets your hormones going.
Cole - My hormones? You’re the one saying she’s pretending to send you letters.
Foley - No pretending involved.
Foley - Just For Men -Touch of Gray - for men who want a little bit of gray - for the generation who said they’d never get old.
Cole - That’s appropriate for you.
Cole - Layla says that being on ECW has made her more aggressive in bed, and at times gentler.
Foley - I know from personal exper… no no no, but she can do some amazing thing with that body of hers. She’s an amazing athlete.
Foley - Natalya’s got the sharpshooter, and Michelle has the heel hook.
Foley - I’m gonna prove you wrong - I’ve got a birthday card that you claim is a figment of your imagination.
Cole - I want that handwriting analyzed - this line doesn’t make sense “you are very special to me”.
Vickie - Charles, at WrestleMania, you showed bias towards the Undertaker, and at Judgment Day, you tried to illegally award the title to the Undertaker. Tonight, you threw Chavo out of the match for no reason. I know you’re a single father and you need this job.
Robinson - I do need this job.
Vickie - You need to realize how your bias is viewed by other superstars, so tonight, you’re going to be in this ring tonight as a competitor. I’m putting you in a match, so go get ready. Thank you.
Foley - Vladimir understands more English than I thought - and he took issue with how I was…middling him during his matches.
Cole - Well, you were.
Foley - Kozlov gave me a book on Sambo.
Cole - Did ya read it?
Foley - Not really. Sambo means self-defense without weapons.
Cole - You read the book...
Foley - No I didn’t… There’s the front kick.
Cole - YOU DID READ THE BOOK, JUST ADMIT IT!
Foley - Okay, I read it - Kozlov’s on the bottom of the list of guys I want mad at me.
Foley - Sambo uses a lot of Greco Roman and Freestyle holds and throws - yes, I read the book!
Foley - You smell that fire and smoke? I LIKE IT!
Cole - Remember, Kane set MVP on fire in an inferno match!
Foley - I think Vickie’s mostly concerned with her marriage to the Edge - would she drop the Guerrero name to become Vickie Edge?
Cole - WHAT!?
Foley - What? She could be Vickie Edge.
Cole - Yes, folks, that’s your color analyst, Mick Foley.
Foley - Could you imagine how much I could learn under J.R. tutelage? The big cowboy hat would be like learning under a wisdom tree.
Cole - Last week, Punk warned that he could cash in MITB at Edge’s wedding.
Foley - Better there than on the wedding night? Can you imagine how annoying that would be? Get a knock at the door…
Cole - Well, as long as he’s got a referee…
Foley - You think Kane would take advantage of the injured eye of the Big Show? He’s a man of compassion.
Cole - WHAT? All he likes to do is inflict pain!
Foley - Yeah, but he told me he feels bad afterwards.
Foley - KANE TAKING FLIGHT TWICE IN ONE NIGHT!
Foley - COME ON CHARLES, YOU CAN DO IT BUDDY! (Khali comes out)
Cole - Oh no, oh my lord!
Foley - I know Charles needs this job, but does he really need it that badly? Run Charles, RUN! (he runs, Hawkins and Ryder jump him) Doing Long Island proud, thanks guys!
Foley - I’ve been privileged to watch some great things on SD - this isn’t one of them.
Foley - Vickie no longer makes matches - she assigns punishments.
Cole - Charles Robinson is being taken to a local medical facility - WWE.com will have updates on this disturbing story.
Foley - I think we need to move on and have some fun.
Cole - Last week, you said that Jesse was an enabler - you’re sick!
Foley - Sick? Festus is a man with a mental illness that might be treatable! It’s not gonna be fixed with a pat on the chest and the ringing of a bell.
(on DnD)Cole - A draft could be the best thing to happen to them.
Foley - Us too.
Foley - If we get separated in the draft, and I mean this, I want to thank you - this has been one of the best experiences of my life.
Cole - THIS IS LIKE FONZIE AND POTSY FIGHTING ON HAPPY DAYS!
Foley - Is this a match? The bell did sound and Festus went berserk …
Foley - Our table’s shaking…it’s kinda hard to see the action.
Cole - Why? They’re right in front of us.
Foley - Yes, but I’m cowering in fear from Festus.
Cole - We’re seeing the split-up of a team that was once on top of the world - tag champs here on SmackDown.
Cole - Deuce…cracking…Domino…in…the…mouth…
Foley - The tag team of Deuce and Domino has just jumped the shark.
Cole - What do you think Finlay and Hornswoggle did for father’s day.
Foley - Hornswoggle drank a pint too much and was found by Finlay taking a Miz passed out.
Foley - Here’s that list of guys I want angry at me - Miz is at the top, and Batista and Kozlov are at the bottom. Welcome to the booth, Mr. Morrison - it may not be the palace of wisdom, but I hope the accommodations suffice.
Foley - Obviously, you’ve got some great ab exercises to be able to grate cheese with your abs, but do you have any great back exercises to be able to carry the Miz like that?
Cole - MY FAVORITE SHOW ON WWE.COM IS THE DIRT SHEET!
Morrison - It’s the greatest show in the history of sports entertainment, and the Miz is a wrestler’s wrestler.
Foley - He’s a jerk.
Morrison - You can call him a jerk, but you can’t call him untalented. HEY, THAT LITTLE TROLL!
Foley - He’s a leprechaun.
Morrison - At the palace of wisdom, we don’t believe in leprechauns.
Foley - CELTIC CROSS! I don’t usually do this, but I’m gonna dance here at the table.
Cole - Please stop, you’re embarrassing yourself.
Foley - IF YOU’RE HAPPY AND YA KNOW IT, STOMP YOUR FEET!
Vickie - Excuse me Batista, Charles Robinson was supposed to be your referee, but obviously he in no condition to be here. So I’ve assigned a special guest referee…(fans boo) EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME! I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY! Batista, I have assigned a special guest referee, now, if you so much as lay a hand on this official, you will lose your opportunity at the world heavyweight championship at Night of…Champions. Please allow me to introduce to you the special guest referee - EDGE!
Cole - WELL EXCUSE ME, BUT THIS IS A TRAVESTY!
Foley - The vindictive nature of Vickie knows no bounds!
Foley - SmackDown is supposed to be who’s the best, not who’s the best connected, or who’s in whose family.
Foley - I was a special referee twice, including once for a big Austin-Rock match at WrestleMania, and it was a great honor. Edge is treating it like a joke.
Cole - I don’t even know how to call this - it’s ridiculous.
Foley - And you’ve been calling the action for a long time here, haven’t you, Cole? Have you ever seen anything resembling this?
Cole - No, Mick.
Cole - NEPOTISM REIGNING SUPREME HERE ON SMACKDOWN!
Foley - This is a slap in the face to Batista’s legacy.
Cole - AND THE TITLE!
Cole - BATISTA’S TRYING TO POWER UP!
Cole - THIS IS ABSOLUTE INSANITY! THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL!