Ad guy - ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE IN TNA!
Tenay - Don, you’re always STALKING, I MEAN TALKING to the TNA Knockouts, and I’m sure Christy’s told you about how excited she is to return!
DW - She is looking extra…HOT here tonight!
DW - FLYING FIRECROTCH GULLOTINE!
Tenay - I CAN’T BELIEVE WE DIDN’T GET FFG FOR THE 1-2-3!
DW - Sorry my friend - I just love saying FLYING FIRECROTCH GULLITINE!
Tenay - AND WHY WOULDN’T YA!
Lauren - Will Joe be ready at Hard Justice?
Taz - Chuckle chuckle - two weeks ago, Joe failed. He let me down, and himself down. There was a point that he showed remorse - THAT DOESN’T WORK. Hernandez didn’t beat Joe - Joe beat Joe. Now it’s my job to turn a negative into a positive. Come Hard Justice, Homicde will pay for it. JOE WILL PUT HIM OUT! Guaranteed!
DW - Hernandez isn’t just back - HE’S A BAADDDDD MAAAAANNNN!
Tenay - During that riot, he got in at the perfect time!
DW - Yeah, that chain he had was about 20 FEET LONG!
Tenay - HE HAD HIS CASE STOLEN FROM HIM!
DW - Well then he should just take it back…
Tenay - HE’LL HAVE HIS CHANCE THIS SUNDAY!
DW - Our crowd isn’t the smartest, but I think they’re chanting USA - is that for the Mexican or the Brit?!
Tenay - OH YOU’VE JUST BEEN IN A MOOD FOR WEEKS!
(a second after a Hernandez)
Tenay - Lashley, I followed your WWE career all the way to becoming WORLD CHAMPION! Being a wrestler wasn’t enough. Tell me about the move to MMA?
Lashley - I wouldn’t say that wrestling wasn’t enough for me - I just had the competitive edge still in me and wanted more.
Tenay - In an unprecedented move, you signed a contract with TNA while still doing MMA!
Lashley - I love wrestling…I’ve done it for…a few years now…As far as MMA goes, I still have the desire. Right now, I’m living the dream. So, um. I think I’ll prove that you can be successful at both.
Tenay - Who wins if it’s Angle, the world’s greatest wrestler, against the world’s greatest MMA fighter?!
Lashley - The fans, but I wouldn’t call myself the best MMA fighter.
Stevie - Thousands of people have begged for the chance to take out Chris. These people really hate him. To collect the bounty, it’s not about pinning Chris - it’s about MAMING ABYSS, HURTING ABYSS, MAKING HIM DROWN IN A POOL OF HIS OWN VOMIT, BLOOD, AND SWEAT! ENDING HIS…. (abyss comes in)
Abyss - FINISH ME YOURSELF! WHY DON’T YOU DO YOUR OWN DIRTY WORK! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS BITCH! THAT’S WHY!
Tenay - THE OUTLAW JETHRO HOLLIDAY IS BEATING THE HELL OUT OF ABYSS WITH THAT CHAIR!
Lauren - It seems like since losing the title, you’ve been derailed.
Tara - Derailed? I got hit by a two-ton monster truck! KONG MAY BE THE BEST WRESTLER IN HISTORY!
DW - I think the first thing the teacher should’ve done is taken the student shopping for better gear - that’s just my opinion.
DW - You can see Consequences Creed on the cover of the newest issue of Geek Magazine.
Tenay - GEEK MAGAZINE!?
DW - I figure you’ve been on the cover a few times.
Tenay - I was the July centerfold!
DW - How many times have I said that there’s no I in team - I live by that motto!
Tenay - THE TEACHER GORED THE STUDENT!
DW - Gotta learn someway…
Lauren - RHINO, HOW COULD YOU!?
Rhino - HIS BEST WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH!
Lauren - HE TOLD YOU ABOUT HE AND HIS FALLEN PARTNER WANTING TO BECOME WRESTLERS!
Rhino - This isn’t the Lifetime Channel - when I trained him, I saw a man who was a soldier, but he makes MISTAKE AFTER MISTAKE!
Lauren - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!??
Rhino - LOOK AT THE SCARS, THE PAIN, THE EMOTION, THE FAMILY THAT HAS TO PUT UP WITH OUT THERE AND I TRAIN HIM AND HE MAKES A FOOL OUT OF ME, MY PASSION! YOU EVER BEEN IN THE RING?!? NO! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND! I RESPECT JESSE, WHAT YA DONE FOR OUR COUNTRY - CAN YOU FIGHT AGAIN!? WILL YOU FIGHT!? THAT IS THE QUESTION! I WILL FIGHT, BLEED, AND DIE IN THAT RING!
DW - As I was cooking Velvet breakfast this morning, she told me that Angelina had to have Deaner’s saliva surgically-removed from her body! (as Velvet enters the ring)She eats more than you’d think - it gets expensive.
Tenay - I thought you made her breakfast? Was the $3.99 Grand Slam too much for ya?
Tenay - While you were having TBP Breakfast Club, did the Hard Justice tag match come up?
DW - I just love it when you mention Beautiful People and tag team - it just goes well together. And yes, it did.
DW - Tara takes a shot and takes her shirt off. Give her another one. Reminds me of my ex-wife. Give her a shot and she takes her shirt off.
(after a top rope dive to the floor)DW - LOOK AT TARA’S HEAD! IT WENT RIGHT INTO THE CONCRETE!
DW - DEANER SPINS THE HAT!
Tenay - HE KISSES HER!
DW - THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF GIVE’ER!
Tenay - AWESOME BOMB ON DEANER!
Sting - You’re in the pressure cooker…
AJ - IT’S HOW WELL WE WORK UNDER PRESSURE. IT’S WHAT SEPARATES THE MID-CARDERS FROM THE MAIN EVENTERS! EITHER I’M GONNA BE A WINNER, OR A LOSER!
Devon - The Steiners are Harlem Heat - 2 of the greatest teams in history - they paved the way, but ya know something, but it’s hard to think this way, but as far as we’re concerned - WE ARE THE GREATEST TEAM IN THIS BUSINESS TODAY! VOTED BY THE FANS AS THE GREATEST TEAM IN DA HISTORY OF DIS BUSINESS! WE’VE RUN OUR MOUTHS IN EVERY COMPANY WE’VE BEEN IN, BUT WE’VE ALWAYS BACKED IT UP. Gentlemen, you’re just another team trying to knock down the greatest team in the history - and it’s not gonna happen soon.
Ray - Harlem Heat, Steiners, great teams. What makes us a great team is THE FANS SAYING WE’RE A GREAT TEAM! Every time we go out there, 3D! 3D! 3D! Tonight, it’s you and me Scott. The belts belong to us! WE GOT SCREWED OUT OF THOSE BELTS, THE NUMBER 1 CONTENDERSHIP, AND THE IWGP TITLES! IF I KNEW GETTING SCREWED WAS THIS BAD, I WOULDA STAYED A VIRGIN!
Steiner - If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. When yo guys were growing up, you though that the Steiners and the Harlem Heat were the greatest. YOU COULDN’T BEAT US BACK THEN, AND YOU CAN’T BEAT US NOW! WE ARE THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPS CUZ WE’RE BETTER THAN YOU! WE’RE WALKING IN WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, AND WE’RE WALKING OUT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIES!
Ray - THAT’S WHY WE RESPECT YOU SO MUCH! FOR YEARS, YOU BACKED UP WHAT YOU SAID! THAT’S WHAT MADE THE STEINERS AND HARLEM HEAT GREAT - AND GUESS WHAT!? THAT’S WHAT MAKES TEAM 3D BETTER! THE STEINERS WERE A HOUSEHOLD NAME, HARLEM HEAT WAS A HOUSEHOLD NAME, AND SO IS GARBAGE! AND JUST LIKE GARBAGE, YOU’RE GETTING OLD AND YOU STINK!
DW - OH THAT’S THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK!
Booker - Ya din’t just say dat!
Tenay - YOU HEARD BOOKER T SAY YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT!
Tenay - Bubba bomb leads to a near-fall for 3D!
(after Ray puts on the chain mail head dress)DW - I think he looks like either someone in a credit card commercial or something out of the Holy Grail!
Tenay - THEY’RE GOING FOR THE HOLY TABLE!
DW - Too easy.
Foley - A few weeks ago, you were in the ring with Mikey and you said that it’s ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. People ask me if that’s how he is, and to be truthful, I don’t know if I’ve had a conversation with him that didn’t involve money. My kids asked me when I was gonna be a champion - I’ve been able to say that HEY KIDS, YOUR DAD IS A CHAMPION! That doesn’t mean anything to you? Sense of pride, accomplishment…it’s really about the bottom dollar, Kevin?
Nash - The win was so tainted in the first place, but yeah…I couldn’t made $20,000 at my last autograph session with that belt. And I’m talking about cash - not a check. But cash money, so…you know what, you don’t know what sellout is - you only make $6.50 an hour. Here’s a guy who can put pet to paper and make a best seller, here’s a guy that has an absolute beautiful wife and family…and it’s nice to see that the studio audience can count, it’s important, but I don’t understand why you don’t continue to write and why you’ve got a fascination with wrapping yourself in barb wire and setting yourself on fire.
Foley - I’m talking about HARD JUSTICE, AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT WIZARD WORLD!
Nash - THAT HAPPENS TO BE A BIG COMIC BOOK CONVENSTION!
Foley - I WOULD HAVE DONE THIS FOR FREE! I LOVE SEEING THE LOOK ON MY KIDS’ FACES! YOU’RE CONCERNED ABOUT WIZARD WORLD - BRING YOUR INTELLIGENCE, YOUR HEIGHT, AND GOOD LOOKS TO HARD JUSTICE, AND I’LL BRING MY PASSION AND WE’LL JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS! (Nash takes off his jacket) What the hell’s the point?
Nash - I AM AN ATHLETE! I AM A BUSINESSMAN, AND YOU ARE A PATHETIC WRESTLER!
Foley - Did you just use the W word on me!? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I AM, AND I’M PROUD OF IT! MY DEFINITION OF WRESTLING INCLUDES TABLES, CHAIRS, so you bring your set of skills to HJ, and I’ll bring mine - we’ll see how things turn out! Good luck on Sunday… Wait…you mean that you and I are out here and we’re on a wrestling show, and there’s a contract signing going on, with a table and nobody’s going through that thing!?
Nash - Well Mick, I read the contract - and I’m not getting paid extra to go through it, or to put you through it. So since I’m not gonna get paid, I could really give a damn about the table. There’s no money in this - I’ll wait until Sunday.
Foley - That’s the difference between you and me - I would put you through it for free, and I would go through it for free…
Nash - YOU’LL GO THROUGH IT FOR FREE?!
Foley - As a matter of fact, I will!
DW - he’s insane! The guy’s insane!
Foley - SEE YA SUNDAY!
Ad Guy - SHAPED LIKE A MUSHROOM CLOUD FROM AN A-BOMB AND RED LIKE A FRESH KILL! IT IS THE STEEL ASYLUM!
Tenay - CARBON FOOTPRINT!
DW - TOOK HIS FREAKIN’ HEAD OFF!
Angle - First, I wanna congratulate Matt Morgan! He is gonna be in his first main event at HJ! Matt, when you got into wrestling - your size, speed, stamina, and strength, I KNEW THE MAFIA WOULD RECRUIT YA!
Morgan - You recruited me, I coulda swore I was selling myself to you guys…
Angle - It doesn’t really matter - it’s gonna be Morgan vs. THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST vs. LITTLE OLD STING! One last favor, and you’re in the Mafia?
Morgan - What is it?
Angle - Don’t be coy, Matt - one last favor and you’re in like Flynt.
Morgan - You can’t be suggesting that I help you retain the title at HJ, right?
Angle - Matt, I’m not suggesting…I’M DEMANDING!
Morgan - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, LITTLE MAN! NOBODY DEMANDS ANYTHING OUT OF THE BLUEPRINT, AND THAT INCLUDES YOU! IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT I’M GONNA PASS THIS OPPORTUNITY UP, YOU’RE CRAZY! WHO KNOWS IF IT’LL COME MY WAY AGAIN! I’M GONNA COME INTO HJ, AND GO IN AS THE BLUEPRINT, AND WALKING OUT THE NEW TNA WORLD CHAMPION!