Cena - Look at ya! YOU CAN FEEL THE ENERGY IN HERE, IT’S AT A FEVER PITCH! You know as well as I do that after weeks of Fus, RKOs, Pedigrees, torn pecs, torn quads, the King of Kings who kills legends that you can’t see in the cornocopia we call wrestletainment - WE DANCE! THIS SUNDAY IS WRESTLEMANIA! Last week, after waging war with 17 men, I’m looking pretty good to walking into Orlando as the number 1 contender and walking out the WWE Champion! (fans chant - CE-NA) I know there are some of you that agree with that… (Show’s theme hits)
Show - Cena, understand this - regardless of who wins your match, this WrestleMania is going down in history for one reason - me ending the bxoing career of Mayweather. People may be split on who wants to win your match, but everyone, including Mayweather’s own family, is rooting for me. Me knocking out Mayweather will replace Hogan slamming Andre as the most replayed moment of WrestleMania! (JBL’s theme hits)
JBL - You two can talk about making history, you can eat Mayweather for all I care - JBL is the one that makes history - I have made history. I am the one who revealed the true identity of Mr. McMahon’s little bastard son, I am the one who exposed his father and put the little mutant in the hospital while he was crying for DADDY, and I’m just getting started because at WrestleMania, I can deliver the greatest beating in the history of WrestleMania because my match has NO RULES, that means whatever I do to Finlay, that mutant’s daddy, there’s nobody that can stop me! You understand that, don’t ya Cena?
Cena - I wasn’t listening - I was remembering how I beat your ass at WM 21 - man those were good times, what were you saying? (Orton’s theme hits)
J.R. - Here comes the most important man in the most important match at WrestleMania.
Orton - Here’s what everyone needs to remember about Wrestle Mania - some people think that Show is gonna knock out Mayweather, some people think that JBL is gonna beat up Finlay, and some people think that either you or HHH is gonna walk out as champion. But nobody thinks that I am gonna retain - which is the way that I like it, because I feed off of that! And it means to me that I’m gonna be the one that everyone’s talking about after I win the triple threat and retain my title at Wrestle Mania (Umaga’s theme this)
Umaga- BATISTA! (Samoan words)
Cena - It JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I’M FLUENT IN SAMOAN! Orton is a weird man who listens to boy bands, loves sperm whales, and watches My Two Dads on reruns - that you Umaga for your support, I’ll make sure this man doesn’t win…(HHH’s theme hits)
HHH - I know what you’re thinking, you’re absolutely right - this is the new HHH T-shirt, and it is awesome, I know. Now listen, y’all make convincing arguments about your place in WrestleMania history, and I’m not gonna say that you’re not gonna have that great match, and that you’re not gonna not out Floyd Mayweather… anyway, there is one reason why we’re in this business and lay our bodies on the line, and it is THAT WWE CHAMPIONSHIP SITTING ON YOUR SHOULDER! You guys would all change your spots in heartbeat for a shot at that, and there’s one reason that this WrestleMania is being held in a building with no roof, and that’s because when Orton, HHH, and Cena go at it in a triple threat, if there was a roof, we would damn sure blow it off. With that being said, at Wrestle Mania - I’ll say this clearly, at WrestleMania, the KING OF THE KINGS GOES BACK ON HIS THRONE! AND THERE AIN’T A DAMN THING YOU OR YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
JBL - I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR THRONE!
HHH - No one gives a damn about you.
JBL - I GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME!
Regal - You all have a legitimate claim, so tonight, I’m going to give you a chance to prove it in a WrestleMania showcase - a 4-on-4 match -on one side will be Randy Orton, Umaga, JBL and the Big Show - and they will be facing Cena, HHH, Shawn Michaels, and the Nature Boy Ric Flair.
J.R. - Tomorrow, we’ve got a WrestleMania press conference.
King - It’s not tomorrow, it’s Wednesday, at Times Square.
J.R. - That’s Wednesday folks, at Times Square, if you’re Tivoing.
J.R. - The Liontamer… Walls of Jericho, got broken up quickly by MVP!
Kennedy - Every year, WrestleMania gets better and better. Everyone wonders what’s gonna happen at WrestleMania this year - history will be made - Ric Flair retires, the Undertaker’s streak ends, and most importantly, I’m gonna walk into MITB, defeat the likes of Jericho, Punk, and MVP, and cash in the briefcase to become a champion. The story of ‘Mania won’t be Flair or the Undertaker, it will be, however, Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy.
Lawler - The more I look at Khali, it seems like he’s been doing some boxing training, as he’s gotten a lot better at blocking blows.
Flair - Thank you. Stop. Thank you. Thank you, so much. I’m glad to know that somewhere in the world, people respect Ric Flair. Because for the last week, people have come from all over every airport and said it was great that you beat Vince McMahon, but the problem is, I don’t know if I did - I won, but Shawn Michaels interfered despite my repeated requests. All I wanted was Mr. WrestleMania, but after last week, I think he has no faith in me, and I’m losing respect for him. We’re having a failure to communicate, so I’d like him to come out right now so we can talk about this man-to-man, eye-to-eye.
HBK - First of all, Ric, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost respect for me - more importantly, I’m sorry you think that I’ve lost faith in you. That could never happen - I didn’t come out to do anything - Ric Flair is the dirtiest player in the game. The Flair that I know always has backup - that’s all I was doing - giving you backup. I did what I thought you would do. You need to understand something - you’re always gonna be the naitch to me, you’re always gonna be the 16 time world champion, and as much as it might bother you, you’re always gonna be the limo-riding…
Flair - SHUT UP! YOU HATE HEARING IT, THEY HATE HEARING IT! I DON’T NEED ANYBODY TELLING ME WHO I AM! I’M FEELING GOOD AND I’M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING! THIS IS THE NWA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! I WON IT IN 1981! THIS IS THE GUY WHO WRESTLED STING, BRODY, THE BRUISER, WAHOO, AND IF YOU AROUND THEN, YOU’D HAVE WON IT! I PICKED YOU FOR WRESTLEMANIA BECAUSE YOU’D HAVE WORN THIS! MR. WRESTLEMANIA, I WANT YOU TO BRING THE BEST OUT OF ME! I NEED THAT! I NEED THAT TO MAKE IT THE REST OF THE WAY IN MY LIFE! I NEED ONE MORE NIGHT! I NEED TO BE THE NAITCH! IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH!?
HBK - Let me assure you of one thing - I’m gonna give you everything you need. I’m gonna give you Shawn Michaels, the headliner, the main eventer, the icon, and rest assured, if I’ve got no choice, I’m gonna give you the showstopper. Come Sunday, Naitch, you’re gonna step into the ring with Mr. WrestleMania.
Flair - I would expect nothing less from you, my friend, the showstopper, Mr. WrestleMania, that’s what I want.
HBK - Before I go -just so there’s no doubt in your mind that you’re gonna get everything you need and more, I’m gonna remind you of an old story. The story of Old Yeller, but when it was time, they had to take that dog out back and finish him. On Sunday, the Showstopper’s gonna take you, Old Yeller, behind the woodshed and put you out of your misery.
Flair - ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? (Flair slaps him) WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!? TAKE OLD YELLER BEHIND THE WOODSHED NOW!? COME ON! DO IT NOW!
HBK - Like I said, I’ll put you out of your misery.
(to Show doll)Mayweather - Don’t you talk back to me (he slaps doll)
Regal - We’ll have a six-man intergender tag match and it will start right now!
(to Cena, after he talked to Cody and Val)HHH - 2 years ago, you beat me at WrestleMania, and it’s been burning a hole in my ever since because I know I didn’t get beat by the better man. I know that I lost, but I’m the better man. Injuries happened and we went our separate ways. When I came back, the Royal Rumble was my shot, and you got in my way. I got into the chamber, beat 5 other guys, and you, again, are staning in my way. At Sunday, you get in my way, and I’m gonna mow you down.
Cena - You want a match that burns inside? Try watching for six months while a guy walks around with the belt that YOU NEVER LOST! At WrestleMania, the WWE Championship comes home!
(after a slap to the chest to Flair)Orton - DO IT AGAIN, SHOW! DO IT AGAIN! STAY ON HIM!