AJ - I’M BACK I’M BACK I’M BACK. BULLY RAY, YA THOUGHT YA HAD ME DOWN AND OUT AND YA THOUGHT YA ENDED MAH CAREER. BUT YOU WERE WRONG. DEAD. WRONG! And you shoulda seen yer face, my God. WHEN IT SHOWED UP AT LOCKDOWN UNEXPECTED, IT WAS LIKE YOU SEEN A GHOST, BULLY RAY. I CAME TO LOCKDOWN TO PEEL YOUR HEAD LIKE AN ONION AND TAKE YOU OUT. THE ONLY EXCEPTION THEIR WAS WAS THE FACT THAT YOU WEREN’T WHEELED OUT TO THE HOSPITAL. I SHOULDA LEFT YOU LAYING JUST LIKE YOU LEFT ME. AND THAT’S WHY I’M HERE TONIGHT IN THE IMPACT ZONE. WE GOT THE CAGE, ALL THESE PRETTY LITTLE WEAPONS, SO YOU BULLY RAY, FOR ONCE, MAN UP AND JUST FACE ME FOR GOD’S SAKE LIKE A MAN!
Ray - Are you serious? Face you like a man? AJ, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM! I AM THE MAN! I’M THE MAN THAT PUT YOU IN DA HOSPITAL FOR A MONTH. THAT POWERBOMBED YOU OFF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE!
AJ - I’M STILL STANDING.
Ray - I COULD GO IN THAT RING AND BEAT YOU SO BAD YOU’LL NEVER WRESTLE AGAIN. I’M A MAN, YOU’RE A BOY. I’M A WARRIOR, YOU’RE A NOBODY! AJ, SO HELP ME GOD, IF I COME DOWN TO THE RING, I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT EASY LIKE I DID LAST TIME. THIS TIME, I’LL AKE YOU AND POWERBOMB YOU AND SPLIT YOUR HEAD OPEN AND MAKE SURE I TAKE CARE OF YER WIFE AND KIDS!
AJ - I’LL KNOCK THE FAT OUTTA YOU! I’LL MAKE YOU SKINNY!
Ray - I TOOK YOUR MILK MONEY AND I’VE TAKEN YOUR MANHOOD! I’LL TAKE CARE OF YOU ON MY OWN TIME. GO TO HELL!
Tenay - WHO’S THAT!?
Taz - Gunner!?
Tenay - IMPACT STARTS OFF WHERE LOCKDOWN LEFT OFF!
Taz - Robert Roode put a hall of famer out of action.
Rob Terry - AJ, YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES!? Beer Money, you may’ve won at Lockdown, but tonight, Murphy and I have something to prove to Hulk Hogan. WE’RE GONNA GET REVENGE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO RIC FLAIR. WE’RE GONNA TAKE THOSE SHINY BELTS YOU HAVE AROUND YOUR WAIST AND…TAKE THEM OFF YOU!
Roode - You called us out and want a match with us for the TNA World Tag Team titles in a cage? LET’S ASK THE FANS! WHADYA THINK!? WHAT THEY WANT, WE’RE GONNA GIVE ‘EM.
Storm - SORRY ‘BOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK!
Jarrett - I’m the King of the Mountain, and tonight, I’m gonna make you the queen!
Karen - DO I GET A CROWN!/
Taz - I know for a fact that the Hulkster is PISSED OFF, and that’s putting it mildly.
Hogan - LET’S JUST CUT TO THE CAHSE, THE MAN THAT MADE PRO WRESTLING, THE MAN WHO RUNS THE SHOW HERE IS STANDING IN FRONT OF YA. THE WAY IT GOES. I CALL THE SHOTS, AND MR RVD, GET OUT HERE BROTHER! RVD, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU’RE A FEW FRIES SHORT OF A HAPPY MEAL BROTHER, BUT YOU, LIKE ANDERSON MADE THE MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE. AND YOU, JUST LIKE ANDERSON, ARE GONNA PAY FOR IT BROTHER!
RVD - Hey Hulk, remember back in the day before you were a heel, when the fans and the boys gave you mad love for being the man who carried wrestling all on that all-American back of yours.
Hogan - Nothing’s changed.
RVD - YOU TURNED THAT BACK ON US FOR RATINGS. Now everyone wants you to just get the hell out of the business. I may not have climbed your mountains, but everything I’ve accomplished, I’ve done it with respect. Cuz I’m a standup guy AND frickin’ amazing in the ring. Wrestlers nowadays can’t make a living doing a leg drop. Things have changed, but RVD won’t.
Hogan - I HEARD ABOUT RVD BODYSLAMMING GIANTS, INDOOR ATTENDANCE RECORDS…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FISH IN A TEENY TINY POND, OR A LITTLE FISH IN A BIG POND. YOUR CAREER HAS BEEN MEDIOCRE. WITHOUT MY HELP, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE A MID-CARD PLAYER.
Hogan - WHO INVITED YOU OUT HERE!?
Sting - I invited myself. DID I HEAR YOU SAY THAT RVD WAS MEDIORE, OR THAT HE’S JUST A MID-CARD PLAYER!? THAT’S GONNA BE HARD TO STOMACH CUZ HE’S GONNA BE FACING ME IN THE MAIN EVENT AT SACRIFICE!?
Hogan - ARE YOU SMOKING THE SAME CRAP HE IS!? IF SO, GIMME SOME OF THAT SO I CAN BE DELUSIONAL TOO! I WANNA WALK AROUND HERE LIKE A FRUITCAKE!
Sting - THE NETWORK PUT A CLAUSE IN MY CONTRACT THAT IF WON THE TITLE, I COULD CHOOSE MY OPPONENT.
Hogan - YOU, YOU, AND THE NETWORK ARE ALL HIGH ON THE CLOUD. YING YANG YES NO HIGH LOW BING BONG THE NETWORK DOESN’T HAVE THE GUTS TO FACE ME!
Sting - THE EXECS AREN’T HERE NOW, BUT THEY WILL BE.
Hogan - This dream match? RVD’S GOT A BIG PROBLEM, CUZ THE MAN WHO FILETED HIM LIKE A FISH WILL FACE HIM TONIGHT. I’LL BE IN ABYSS’S CORNER. AND AS FAR AS YOU GOT STINGER, THIS SO-CALLED DREAM MATCH, YOU GOT A BIG PROBLEM, BRAH, SINCE THE NETWORK ISN’T HERE, I’M ALSO BOOKING THE MAIN EVENT. TONIGHT BROTHE,R THE STING MAN IS GONNA FACE THE MAN IN TNA WITH THE BIGGEST CHIP - MATT HARDY! ALL HE’S BEEN DOING IS DROPPING BOMBS IN TNA, AND TONIGHT, HE’S GONNA GET REVENGE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HIS BROTHER. BROTHER. IT’S SHOWTIME!
Angle - Hey guys, have you seen Kurt and Karen?
Guy - They’re on a horse and carraige.
Angle - Horse and carriage…thanks.
Rayne - YOU WERE IN CAHOOTS WITH MICKIE!
Tara - CAHOOTS?
EY - These are the two best horsmen of all-time - Mongo and Sid.
Angle - What are you feeding them?
EY - Beans!
Angle - They’re gonna shit all over the place.
EY - That’s the idea.
Angle - Get some buckets.
Taz - Sting will defend the title against Matt Howdy.
Taz - Jeff looks like he’s gonna sell ice cream. Or fried chicken.
Jarrett - Princess, your actions from this past Sunday night brought a tear to my masculint, baby blue eyes. FOR A WIFE to sacrifice her own well-being for her prince was truly an act of heroism. Of unselfishness! Gosh, and most importantly, an act of true love. So tonight, the king of the mountain is gonna officially coronate my bride, my princess. MY ENTIRE UNIVERSE, THE QUEEN OF THE MOUNTAIN! So at this time, I would like for everyone in the Impact Zone and everyone at home - stand up! Please! SALUTE AND STAND AT ATTENTION AS I ANNOUNCE FOR THE FIRST TIME OFFICIALLY. Ladies and gentlemen, THE QQUEEEEEEEEEENNNNN OF THE MOUNTAIN - KAAAARRREEEEEEEEEEEN JAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Taz - That crown is massive. Look at the nub at the top.
Taz - QUEEEN KARREN!
Taz - IT’S THE DAMN BEANS. OR BEEFARONI!
Karen - OH, SHIT!
Taz - QUEEN POOPIE!
Tenay - Someone open a door!
Taz - MAYBE IT’S A BAD THING Jarrett has white pants.
Tenay - ANGLE SLAM INTO THE THRONE. Pardon the expression.
Kurt - You think you’re in a world of shit right now, literally? Wait until you see what I have in store for you next. I would never lay a hand on the mother of my children, but I have a mistress. Purely business. And Karen, she can’t wait to meet you. And Karne, you might wanna get that shit off yer face before you leave here tonight.
Taz - We need a little tree air freshener.
Taz - Queen Karen’s more like queen cocky!
Hogan - TONIGHT BROTHER OF THE NIGHT, YOU’RE GONNA GET YOUR SHOT!
Hogan - Kenny boy, I NEED A WORD WITH YOUR ASS!
Anderson - You want me to tell you who the network guy is? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A RIB. IS THIS CANDID CAMERA!? IS ASHTON KUTCHER GONNA COME OUT!?
Hogan - YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON I’VE TRULY HATED. And if this was ten years ago and 8 back surgeries ago, THIS WOULDA BEEN YOUR ASS BY NOW!
Anderson - I’M BORED! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to be an asshole.
Hogan - Abyss, IT WASN’T HIS TIME. NOW IT’S TIME FOR RVD!
Tenay - IT IS RANK IN THE IMPACT ZONE!
Taz - THAT’S HORSE POOP!
Tenay - What is RVD’s mindset?
Taz - Massive revenge. RVD lost the title but he didn’t actually lose it.
Taz - I have to disagree with Hogan’s assessment of RVD as a mid-card guy. He’s a former world champ who’s been a champion in every organization he’s been in.
Sting - Jeff Hardy? That’s no secret - I’ve been fighting to get him back in TNA because he’s one of the best of all-time. Hogan’s gonna make me do what I do for a living - WRESTLE! I’M GONNA WRESTLE CUZ IT’S SHOWTIME!
Matt - This title meant everything to him - it has his face on it. MY BROTHER’S BLOOD MAY NOT HAVE BEEN COLD ENOUGH TO STOP HIM, BUT I AM COLD BLOODED AND I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU ARE!
Morgan - At Lockdown…love you too sweetie, I FINALLY PUT THE EXCLAMATION POINT AT THE END OF THE HERNANDEZ SENTENCE. NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE BLUEPRINT TO GET BACK ON THE FAST TRACK TO HIS FIRST TNA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. And since everyone here is handing out title opportunities, here’s a sound piece of advice - THE BLUE PRINT NEEDS TO BE NUMBER 1! Ya see, this waiting game is stale. It’s over. I’M BORED. I’M SICK OF WAITING FOR MY TIME TO COME. MATT MORGAN’S TIME IS NOW. AND IF I DON’T GET IT, I’M GONNA TAKE IT! (Steiner comes out)
Steiner - CUT THE MUSIC! EVERY DAY THAT I WAKE UP, I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I WAKE UP IN A GOOD MOOD. BUT SOMETHING FAILS AND THAT PISSES ME OFF. YOU CLAIM TO BE THE DNA OF TNA!? LEMME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, IF I HAD YOUR DNA, YOUR GENETICS - I’D SHOOT MYSELF. NO, I’D KILL MYSELF, THEN I’D HANG MYSELF. YOU CAN FLEX ALL YOU WANT, BUT YOU’LL NEVER HAVE ARMS AS BIG AS MINE, BE AS RIPPED AS I AM. WHY!? BECAUSE YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE AND YOU’LL NEVER BE ME. AND THEN YOU COME OUT HERE AND SAY YOU DESERVE A WORLD TITLE SHOT. YOU DISRESPECTING PIECE OF SHIT! LISTEN HERE, THE LINE FOR SHOTS STARTS BEHIND ME! I’VE BEEN A WORLD CHAMPION AND I’VE BEATEN GUYS BIGGER THAN YOU, STRONGER THAN YOU, TALLER THAN YOU, WHY, CUZ I AM WHAT I SAY I AM - BIG POPPA PUMP, THE GENETIC FREAK. I’m up here, you’re down here. YOU’RE BENEATH ME, JUST LIKE YOUR GIRLFREIND WAS LAST NIGHT!
Morgan - You say I’m disrespectful punk, you say that about a lot of guys, but I do respec tyou. The reason I do is Scott, you’re the PIONEER - the all-American collegiate who went onto pro wrestling. I TRIED TO FOLLOW YOU. CUZ YOU’RE THE FIRST TO DO IT. You’re the first guy to bring guys like athlete and competition back in between these ropes - THE GREATEST ART FORM IN THE WORLD, PRO WRESTLING. THAT IS A SIGN OF RESPECT, SO YOU’RE WRONG. But Scott, DON’T EVER, EVER CONFUSE MY RESPECT AS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. CUZ I PROMISE YOU, S TEINER, THERE AIN’T A DAMN THING ON THIS SEVEN FOOT FRAME THAT’S WEAK! You wanan do this, better yet, no, if they wanna to see this. HELL, YOU CAN WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER IN MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY. I’M IN. ATHLETE TO ATHLETE. RESPECT. YES.
Steiner - ASK HIM! WHO’S GOT THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD!?
Tessmacher - I GOT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU BITCHES - MISS TESSMACHER’S BACK!
Velvet - Angelina is and has been my best friend, and she may not be in her right state of mind, BUT SHE DDTD ME ON A CHAIR! WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO!?
Winter - You should stop your whining and bitching. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re trying to accuse me of something.
Velvet - I KNOW YOU DRUGGED HER, AND THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN’T GONE TO THE AUTHORITIES IS BECAUSE I’M GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN TAKING CARE OF THIS MYSELF.
Tenay - GUNNER…WITH THE PIPE TO THE LEG!
Taz - SINGLE LEG BOSTON CRAB SHOWING HOW COLD-BLOODED MATT HARDY IS!
Anderson - Uh…MIC CHECK 1-2-3. STINGER. STINGIE! UM. CASE YA DIDN’T KNOW. I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON! Oh, and what did I just do…MIC CHECK. MIC CHECK. SOON IT’S GONNA BE 1-2-3!
Karen - HE’S HIRING SOMEONE TO BEAT MY ASS! AND I’VE GOT SHIT ALL OVER ME! JEFF. I HAVE SHIT ON ME!
Jarrett - THAT SON OF A BITCH! SHUT UP!
Karen - EVERYTHING’S TURNED TO FREAKING SHIT!
Hogan - This Anderson guy is dumb-looking, but he’s smarter than he looks. Lockdown was his final chance with me, and now he’s gonna pay the piper. He’s gonna go down with the ship - that’s what’s so ridiculous about this whole thing. THIS WHOLE NETWORK THING IS COMING DOWN ON ME LIKE A DOUBLE-FISTED KANGAROO!
Anderson - If their heads were on fire, I wouldn’t piss on them to put ‘em out.
Sting - WHO CARES ABOUT WHO MADE WHAT MATCH AND WHEN!? DID YOU NOT SEEN WHAT KEN ANDERSON DID!? THAT’S WHAT’S ON MY MIND, NOT THE POWER, OR MONEY, BUT REVENGE. THAT’S WHAT’S ON MY MIND!