Ok, I've been biting my tongue at all these recent relationship threads venting about how a guy can't get a girl or is devastated that a girl broke up w/ him and now it's starting to migrate to the blogs so I can't hold it in any longer.
Seriously, guys, and I'm talking to you ppl w/ an XY chromosome who can't get a date, why are you guys having so much trouble meeting a girl? It's really not that difficult. All the tools you're ever going to need to help you are available to you for free or a small price (be it money or time). You've also seen examples (even if they're partially staged) of these reality tv show makeovers & shit like beauty & the geek. Even if they're not completely 'reality'-based, at the very least, these shows should inspire you to make yourself a better person. It's basic shit any guy w/ half a brain should easily conceptualize. Here's a simple tried & true list of things a guy will need to do to land a girl (and the sad part is that these are all obvious shit I shouldn't even have to explain):
Work Out
Yeah, you could say it's shallow to work out to have a nice body just to get a girl. But then you've be stupid to think that's all there is to it. Think about every female celebrity that, by general guy consensus, is considered viably hot. They tend to have bodies that are in shape. Now, guys, view yourself from a hot girl's perspective. Are you doing anything that suggests you're attractive & worth going out with? If you're still eating cheetos and not exercising, then you've obviously missed the hint. In order for you to get that pretty girl, you've got to make her think you're good enough for her and if you're not funny/interesting/have money enough for her to get past your flabby gut & passing gas, it's time to hit the gym.
Don't Just Have Interesting Things To Say, BE INTERESTING
Any jerk can go online and find interesting things to say to a girl to keep her interested, but what happens after you've run out of canned shit to say? It's a far better thing to actually be interesting. How does one achieve this? Pick a hobby! Learn a new socially applicable skill! And pick a hobby you are actually interested in learning. I learned to dance initially because I wanted to be a kick ass break dancer. I took up swing, ballroom, latin, & hip hop to expand my skillz. Now I like to dance because a) I'm an attention whore at nightclubs & b) for some reason girls are attracted to guys who can dance. I have a friend who plays the piano & guitar and every time he brings a girl back to his place & busts out some Beethoven followed by John Mayer
, he never fails to close. And I can't count the number of times my chef friend (not JimmieMac) closes on girls simply because he's a *gasp* guy who can cook beyond mac & cheese or cereal. Not to mention my friend who works in the welfare department for the government & still hooks up w/ girls simply because he writes poetry in his spare time & reads them at trendy hipster coffee shops/nightclubs.
Don't be an Asshole, Be Confident & Aloof
It's a mistaken notion that girls are into 'bad boys'. Well, they are, but not because bad boys are bad but rather because they don't give a shit about what other people think & do their thing. It is perfectly possible to be charming guy who can pick up the girl w/o resorting to being an asshole. The asshole method works only on the premise of sustained self-confidence. Self. Confidence. Confidence in oneself. So what if you like Naruto? Does your date need to know that on the first date? No! Do you need to know she's really into the celeb gossip rags? No! While dates are about getting to know the other person, that doesn't mean you need to spill your whole life story right there. That's the conversational equivalent of premature ejaculation. Rule of thumb: Never offer personal information unless asked and only offer information if specifically asked and even then you don't need to be too forward. Don't worry, people mistrust too much info freely given anyway. It's that whole TMI concept.
STOP PUTTING THE PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL
This is very easy. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Now that I've said it 3 times, maybe it might actually stick in your heads. Girls want to be treated equally. Sure there are times she wants to be treated like a princess but that's usually after you've established yourself as her boyfriend. Because even an average girl is hit on many times in a single day that when a guy who treats her as a peer & neither a cum receptacle nor a goddess on high is passing by, it's refreshing & she's actually going to be more interested in what he has to say.
Talk To People
Simple concept, right? But I'm always amazed at how few people are actually skilled in the art of conversation (and it is a skill). Any ol' fcuk can talk. But someone w/ the gift of gab can captivate any audience, especially if they're female because, let's face it guys, girls master this skill more often than guys do. And it's not necessarily about big words or talking forever either. Part of the art of conversation is knowing when to shaddap & listen.
Dates Are Job Interviews
They are. Think about it. You get dressed up for the occasion, you're nervous & want to make a good impression. You're interviewing for the position of 'Her Boyfriend'. So what does a guy on a date need to do to lock that position? Same thing a good interviewee does - ask questions & acts interested in the well-being of the company.
And finally,
Don't 'Be Yourself', Be Your BEST SELF
This whole 'be yourself' nonsense is trite advice. And when people say this, they don't even know what they're saying. It should be 'Be your BEST self'. What's the difference? If it's in your personality to bust out a fart joke to your buddies, that's you right? But when grandma comes around, you're on your best behavior, but that's still you right? You didn't magically change nor do you have multiple personalities. You simply adapted your personality to suit the situation. People don't realize they do this ALL THE TIME. You don't act the same around the wife, the boss, the kids, the extended family, & the friends simply because they're all different situations that require different appropriate social responses. Same w/ getting a girl. Once a girl is already dating you, you'll have enough opportunities to tell a fart joke or pass gas.
These are all skills that anyone can learn. So it frustrates me when I hear guys bitch about how they can never find a girl or lost a girl. In the case of never finding a girl, I've already outlined all you need to know. In the case of losing a girl, as the cliche goes, there's other fish in the sea. Here's a corrollary to not putting pussy on a pedestal - NOBODY, GUY OR GIRL, IS SPECIAL. For every hot girl a guy will see on the street, there are at least 3 guys who've already dated her & know she's full of shit. It isn't impossible to find a girl who is potentially compatible w/ a guy. Hell, even rapists & murderers get offers a lot of times. So it isn't impossible for the average joe. All it takes is some goddamn effort.
#-o
Seriously, guys, and I'm talking to you ppl w/ an XY chromosome who can't get a date, why are you guys having so much trouble meeting a girl? It's really not that difficult. All the tools you're ever going to need to help you are available to you for free or a small price (be it money or time). You've also seen examples (even if they're partially staged) of these reality tv show makeovers & shit like beauty & the geek. Even if they're not completely 'reality'-based, at the very least, these shows should inspire you to make yourself a better person. It's basic shit any guy w/ half a brain should easily conceptualize. Here's a simple tried & true list of things a guy will need to do to land a girl (and the sad part is that these are all obvious shit I shouldn't even have to explain):
Work Out
Yeah, you could say it's shallow to work out to have a nice body just to get a girl. But then you've be stupid to think that's all there is to it. Think about every female celebrity that, by general guy consensus, is considered viably hot. They tend to have bodies that are in shape. Now, guys, view yourself from a hot girl's perspective. Are you doing anything that suggests you're attractive & worth going out with? If you're still eating cheetos and not exercising, then you've obviously missed the hint. In order for you to get that pretty girl, you've got to make her think you're good enough for her and if you're not funny/interesting/have money enough for her to get past your flabby gut & passing gas, it's time to hit the gym.
Don't Just Have Interesting Things To Say, BE INTERESTING
Any jerk can go online and find interesting things to say to a girl to keep her interested, but what happens after you've run out of canned shit to say? It's a far better thing to actually be interesting. How does one achieve this? Pick a hobby! Learn a new socially applicable skill! And pick a hobby you are actually interested in learning. I learned to dance initially because I wanted to be a kick ass break dancer. I took up swing, ballroom, latin, & hip hop to expand my skillz. Now I like to dance because a) I'm an attention whore at nightclubs & b) for some reason girls are attracted to guys who can dance. I have a friend who plays the piano & guitar and every time he brings a girl back to his place & busts out some Beethoven followed by John Mayer
, he never fails to close. And I can't count the number of times my chef friend (not JimmieMac) closes on girls simply because he's a *gasp* guy who can cook beyond mac & cheese or cereal. Not to mention my friend who works in the welfare department for the government & still hooks up w/ girls simply because he writes poetry in his spare time & reads them at trendy hipster coffee shops/nightclubs.Don't be an Asshole, Be Confident & Aloof
It's a mistaken notion that girls are into 'bad boys'. Well, they are, but not because bad boys are bad but rather because they don't give a shit about what other people think & do their thing. It is perfectly possible to be charming guy who can pick up the girl w/o resorting to being an asshole. The asshole method works only on the premise of sustained self-confidence. Self. Confidence. Confidence in oneself. So what if you like Naruto? Does your date need to know that on the first date? No! Do you need to know she's really into the celeb gossip rags? No! While dates are about getting to know the other person, that doesn't mean you need to spill your whole life story right there. That's the conversational equivalent of premature ejaculation. Rule of thumb: Never offer personal information unless asked and only offer information if specifically asked and even then you don't need to be too forward. Don't worry, people mistrust too much info freely given anyway. It's that whole TMI concept.
STOP PUTTING THE PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL
This is very easy. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Now that I've said it 3 times, maybe it might actually stick in your heads. Girls want to be treated equally. Sure there are times she wants to be treated like a princess but that's usually after you've established yourself as her boyfriend. Because even an average girl is hit on many times in a single day that when a guy who treats her as a peer & neither a cum receptacle nor a goddess on high is passing by, it's refreshing & she's actually going to be more interested in what he has to say.
Talk To People
Simple concept, right? But I'm always amazed at how few people are actually skilled in the art of conversation (and it is a skill). Any ol' fcuk can talk. But someone w/ the gift of gab can captivate any audience, especially if they're female because, let's face it guys, girls master this skill more often than guys do. And it's not necessarily about big words or talking forever either. Part of the art of conversation is knowing when to shaddap & listen.
Dates Are Job Interviews
They are. Think about it. You get dressed up for the occasion, you're nervous & want to make a good impression. You're interviewing for the position of 'Her Boyfriend'. So what does a guy on a date need to do to lock that position? Same thing a good interviewee does - ask questions & acts interested in the well-being of the company.
And finally,
Don't 'Be Yourself', Be Your BEST SELF
This whole 'be yourself' nonsense is trite advice. And when people say this, they don't even know what they're saying. It should be 'Be your BEST self'. What's the difference? If it's in your personality to bust out a fart joke to your buddies, that's you right? But when grandma comes around, you're on your best behavior, but that's still you right? You didn't magically change nor do you have multiple personalities. You simply adapted your personality to suit the situation. People don't realize they do this ALL THE TIME. You don't act the same around the wife, the boss, the kids, the extended family, & the friends simply because they're all different situations that require different appropriate social responses. Same w/ getting a girl. Once a girl is already dating you, you'll have enough opportunities to tell a fart joke or pass gas.
These are all skills that anyone can learn. So it frustrates me when I hear guys bitch about how they can never find a girl or lost a girl. In the case of never finding a girl, I've already outlined all you need to know. In the case of losing a girl, as the cliche goes, there's other fish in the sea. Here's a corrollary to not putting pussy on a pedestal - NOBODY, GUY OR GIRL, IS SPECIAL. For every hot girl a guy will see on the street, there are at least 3 guys who've already dated her & know she's full of shit. It isn't impossible to find a girl who is potentially compatible w/ a guy. Hell, even rapists & murderers get offers a lot of times. So it isn't impossible for the average joe. All it takes is some goddamn effort.
#-o
ing hard".
