When did 'You look tired' become an insult?

[quote name='6669']I dont know why this thread is still going. To a female "you look tired" = "you look ugly".
Lock! ;)[/quote]

You look tired, 6669... Get enough sleep last night? ;)
 
[quote name='Hex']You look tired, 6669... Get enough sleep last night? ;)[/QUOTE] Of course not. You know it's exhausting teasing cocks and seeking out candy all night. :lol:
 
[quote name='Hex']You look tired, 6669... Get enough sleep last night? ;)[/QUOTE]
:lol:
That hurt :whistle2:(

[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']Of course not. You know it's exhausting teasing cocks and seeking out candy all night. :lol:[/QUOTE]
It is, just ask Hex ;)

[quote name='GuilewasNK']This isn't going to end well....[/QUOTE]
cuz it should have ended a long time ago ;)
 
[quote name='6669']
It is, just ask Hex ;)
[/QUOTE]

Wt.

Ask ME.

These leather pants can't rip themselves off you know.
 
You look tired = you dont look too good, so yeah i think it can be taken as an insult

Sure guys TEND to be more blunt about things but last i checked, alot of guys use sarcasm...

so whos to say you werent saying that in a sarcastic manner to imply she looks bad that day? ANSWER = you are. You could do that by simply apologizing if it offended her.

I think the problem isnt with women and the way they screw around with the language(which yes gets annoying)
but also with how stubborn men can be, and i know it cant be helped because im as stubborn as they get

OP i think if you *care* enough to ask someone how they feel, it isnt much more effort to let them know you didnt mean it in the wrong way.

Also being mad at the other friend wont do any good. In the end she was just helping you understand how to talk to girls, even if she went about it in the wrong way. Cuz the truth is if a girl took something you said the wrong way, they probably wouldnt confront you but just like you less and tell her friends about it. If anything thank her for that.
 
[quote name='Strell']Wt.

Ask ME.

These leather pants can't rip themselves off you know.[/QUOTE]
What leather? :rofl:
(No wonder this thread hasn't ended yet)
 
[quote name='6669']It is, just ask Hex ;)[/quote]

Oh lawd, woman!

And I don't chase cocks... Chickens aren't my thing. Too tight and feathery. :/
 
I'll just say someone sounds like they're in highschool. It won't be an issue once you graduate and the only people that will look tired are the girls you don't give breaks from endless sex.
 
[quote name='6669']What leather? :rofl:
(No wonder this thread hasn't ended yet)[/QUOTE]

I have all kinds of tricks up my sleeves.

And. Um. Pant legs.

There too.
 
women ask themselves 2 questions all day long. 1. do i look fat? 2. am i ugly?. DO NOT give them reason to think "yes" to either of these questions, or you will die a slow and terrible death.
 
[quote name='thagoat']women ask themselves 2 questions all day long. 1. do i look fat? 2. am i ugly?. DO NOT give them reason to think "yes" to either of these questions, or you will die a slow and terrible death.[/QUOTE]

If you're lucky, yea.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']High all the time?[/QUOTE]

I get that one too. If someone doesn't tell me I look tired I get "dude are you high right now?"

A few weeks ago I got literally 3 hours of sleep before I had to wake up at 6 AM for work. My eyes where red as hell and when I got into work 3 different people asked me if I was high.

I have to remind them I was merely tired as the weed was from 2 days ago and there is no way my eyes would still be red. ;)
 
[quote name='vietgurl']okay, call me weird but when someone tells me that i look tired, i take it as, "what's up, are you okay?"[/QUOTE]

That's what I mean when I say it.
 
[quote name='botticus']Eh, when you say someone looks "tired," it can be taken to mean that they don't look so hot at the moment. Which, if they're not tired, would not be such a nice thing to hear.

I try to avoid saying it.[/quote] You're right, you're right and that's unfortunate. Because ideally something like "are you tired?" or "you look exhausted" should come with the understood, "I care about you and want to make sure everything is okay."

[quote name='Strell']Men and women communicate differently.

So when we say tired, in our man-minds, we are saying you look, as shocklingly simple and stupidly obvious as it sounds, that you look tired, as if maybe you had a long day or didn't get a lot of sleep.

Women, I assure you, you will get along with us better - and, remarkably - yourself, if you take what I say at face value.[/quote] Absolutely true.

It's just free advice is all, I assure you. Nothing more or less.
Click to expand...
*whimpers and runs off to girlfriends* I know he meant something by that!!

[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']Some women are offended by anything that's not a blatant compliment.[/quote] Are you calling me fat?

[quote name='ITDEFX']if someone is THAT STUPID not to tell a diffrence between a fat woman and one having a baby, then they deserve to be slapped.[/quote] I have been asked this myself. I do have a good amount of weight to lose, but I never would have thought I looked pregnant.
animeangry.gif


[quote name='Strell']So you could say "Are you sleepy?" as this apparently contains even less negativity.[/quote]Not to take issue with Mrs Strell, but I wouldn't recommend that unless the person you're asking is physically nodding off at the moment. Otherwise you'll wind up with girls thinking they looked doped up and they don't want to think that.

[quote name='ITDEFX']I think she wore it because she got hit on a lot by guys, but to be honest, I've worked with that girl for 13 months on that project, and she doesn't look hot or attractive at all. bleh.[/quote] Depending on where I am or where I'm going, I'll wear my old ring. Some of the areas around atl are swarming with playas, and I'd rather not be bothered. So the rules are: drive my old subaru (which I'd rather do anyway) and wear the ring.

[quote name='Hex']Chickens aren't my thing. Too tight and feathery. :/[/quote]And the punchline was: It's just another feather in your cop. I can't believe I just said that.

[quote name='vietgurl']okay, call me weird but when someone tells me that i look tired, i take it as, "what's up, are you okay?"[/quote] Vietgurl gets a shiney star for being level-headed and not entirely wrapped up in herself.
 
As Strell and other other posters have said, this is completely a gender issue.

Guys don't think twice about saying something at its face value. Women take that face value and over analyze it to the point where it usually means something completely different from what was originally intended, and almost always for the worse.

Trust me. I went to Italy with 21 women. I couldn't say one sentence without hearing five different versions and meanings of what I "said" within twenty minutes.
 
[quote name='guinaevere']And the punchline was: It's just another feather in your cop. I can't believe I just said that.[/quote]

The entire joke just flew right over my head, mind. I just had to inject a bit of furry innuendo into it. :]
 
Like Strell mentioned, it's purely gender-based miscommunication. Under specific context, you can get away with a lot.

I actually said the same thing earlier today to a friend of mine. She was absolutely disheveled, and curled up at her desk at work, and I know she loves to party. So naturally she went out for Halloween. Instead of flat out saying, "Wow, you look tired," I opted for, "So what did you do last night?" and let her tell me the rest. And then: "I was gonna say, you look tired."

I swear, sometimes I can be the King of Miscommunications. I'm like one of those guys on sitcoms who say the wrong thing, then try to explain it and just dig themselves deeper into the hole until finally realizing the best answer is to just shut up.

The best thing you can do to prevent these types of social faux pas is to just take note of people's reactions to things and learn from your mistakes. Another good suggestion is to just realize that whatever you say, a woman will overanalyze and dissect it down to something entirely different.

Wording is helpful too. For example, the very last sentence in the previous paragraph is dangerous wording. "In my experience, woman usually read deeper into things than men do," would be a better choice. It gets the same point across without sounding condescending. In fact, it can even be complimentary because it implies they have deeper insight than men.

Also, Strell is spot on about men adding muttered additions to the end of their statements. It's something I do daily. I work as a telemarketer (don't kill me, please!) and talk to a lot of people who aren't very welcoming to me. Typically my phone calls end like, "Okay, well thank you so much for being a BellSouth customer! ... ." Or, "Was there anything else I could help you out with today?

Naturally those are all muttered beyond recognition and usually muted for job security but yeah. Same thing. Good observation, Strell.
 
well maybe it was your tone of voice that made her think it sounded rude.

or was it rude because you said it to someone you never really talk to, and shes kinda cute, and your friend was just a little jealous that you said something to a cute girl and got defense because she really is in love with you but just hasnt found the way to express her feelings to you because she is afraid that you will reject her, and shes right because you think the girl you thought was tired is cute, and think that if youre nice you have a shot at her, but really shes not for you because shes full of herself and all into clothes and make up, meanwhile you have a perfectly good girl friend right next to you that is all into anime or something and you just are too stupid to realize it because you watch too much internet porn and think that all the girl in your life need to be way hot and really they dont, because that other girl likes anime, and anime is way cooler than make up, and so now that i think about it im with your friend, that shit was rude.
 
I think there are some really smart guys missing an obvious point here.

Now, I'm not a great guy with the women always (I did manage to get married and I haven't suffered too badly yet :) ), but here's the point,

Not all women get upset over little comments, but for the ones that do (and from my experience, 90% of women do at least occasionally), they don't get upset about the same stuff. So, there are no "safe" comments other than the no to the "am I fat comment" (that women won't believe anyway, but you'd better say it fast)

Case in point. Went to a halloween party. My wife's hottest friend is cooking dinner for everyone, and it's running late. I'm in there getting a pan from the top of the cabinet for her, and I comment the food smells good, that I'd be picking at it if I was her the whole time. She makes a comment that she's watching her weight and can't afford that.

So, knowing her, I say something to the effect of, oh, you have to gain 20lbs to be upgraded to sickly thin. I know her, and she took it as it was meant, a compliment. But, there's another girl there, and she freaks out at me that that was a rude comment. Even as the hot one defended it, she still argued it.

So, there is no way you can win with all women. Outside of spending enough time with them (and making enough mistakes) to get a feeling for the right comments for them, you're going to run into these situations. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Most women just think of guys as having stupid moments, so they will be willing to drop it after they feel they got their milage out of it.
 
This topic reminds me of a lyric I heard recently and it's grown to be one of my favorites. I've never been the type to get upset over being told I'm tired, and generally I think the other girl was overreacting, but like someone said, for all you know, the 'tired girl' may have been up all night crying over a dead grandfather, and could use a boost of self esteem, or may be a wreck and little things might set her off.

Anyway, the lyric, although sung by a guy, kind of makes the point I want to make better than I do:

If I had no money, would you still call me honey anyway
and if I miss the papers would you come and tell me what's going on today?
... (some other lines that aren't important to the point here)
If I'm looking tired will you tell me that I'm looking alright
and if I'm feeling wired will you sit with me, stay up all night
and if I'm coming off the rails, would you keep me going straight?
And if I call you honey, would you still miss my money anyway?

(Wild Birds and Paper Floats by The New York Fund)

Now, I'm not the type to get upset when someone tells me I look tired... But it'd be a hell of a nice suprise to hear, when I'm feeling dead tired and crappy, someone come up to me and say I look beautiful/nice/good/etc today. Blowing smoke up my ass, maybe, but it's a good way to make someone smile and give them a bit of happy energy.

It's not so much them hearing you say they look tired and suddenly taking it as 'You said I look like a whore!', but there are many nicer things that can be said... even if you aren't trying to get in their pants.

I have to agree with strell's girlfriend that if you have to make the comment of them being tired, it is much better asked as a question. A 'How are you?' or a 'How was your evening?', or even make the remark towards yourself, something like 'I really didn't get much sleep last night, you?'
 
[quote name='Strell']But that's bullshit.

Men and women communicate differently. I think this is well known and well documented. There's books and people giving lecture tours around this exact premise.

But it normally boils down to this - women hide a lot in what they say, and men don't. Women interwine lots of details in few words and can connect all sort sof things to everything else. Men just say what is up directly.

So when we say tired, in our man-minds, we are saying you look, as shocklingly simple and stupidly obvious as it sounds, that you look tired, as if maybe you had a long day or didn't get a lot of sleep.

We're not adding in metaphors and whatnot on top of that, claiming that you look old or beat up or maybe you are a slut and you got little sleep because you hooked up with some slob at a bar.

'Cuz guess what. If we thought any of those things, we'll just let you know. "Hey, you look like you were a loose whore last night."

Harsh, understandable, but the point is that these are the breaks, people.

This post is not necessarily meant at anyone in particular. It's just a comment on the scenario that was presented in the OP.

Women, I assure you, you will get along with us better - and, remarkably - yourself, if you take what I say at face value. It's just free advice is all, I assure you. Nothing more or less.[/QUOTE]


Um, this is only true if we want to sleep with you or we already have. "You look tired" means I look tired. It's not insulting or rude if you are friends. Far better than the dumbass "Smile!" comment I get at the library when I'm concentrating on research. I'd look like an idiot sitting there smiling. But men think this is an opening? Feh, go bother someone else. I'm busy.
 
I'm pretty good friends with both of them, but the one whom I told looked tired isn't even mad at me anymore. It's her best friend, as well as one of my best friends, who hasn't talked to me all this week. In fact, she's making a point not to look at me. I'm sure she'll get over it this weekend.
 
[quote name='jezebelseven']
If I had no money, would you still call me honey anyway
and if I miss the papers would you come and tell me what's going on today?
... (some other lines that aren't important to the point here)
If I'm looking tired will you tell me that I'm looking alright
and if I'm feeling wired will you sit with me, stay up all night
and if I'm coming off the rails, would you keep me going straight?
And if I call you honey, would you still miss my money anyway?

(Wild Birds and Paper Floats by The New York Fund)

[/quote]

That's an awful lot like 50 Cent's "21 Questions"


I would completely forget about all this drama. I've found that the best way to let a girl cool off is to just ignore the hell out of her. If a girl gets all crazy with me at work, I get shitty back at her. I don't have much of a temper but I let it go when people think that I'm an ass. I see it as a freebie. If someone's gonna be all angry at me, I'll give 'em a real reason to be shitty instead of some ole miscommunication bullshit.
 
[quote name='browneyedgal68']Um, this is only true if we want to sleep with you or we already have. "You look tired" means I look tired. It's not insulting or rude if you are friends. Far better than the dumbass "Smile!" comment I get at the library when I'm concentrating on research. I'd look like an idiot sitting there smiling. But men think this is an opening? Feh, go bother someone else. I'm busy.[/QUOTE]

I'm not exactly sure you read anything I said at all.

Originally I thought about leaving this post as just that above sentence, but I thought about it, and I think I need to clarify a bit.

For whatever reason, you're telling me men and women don't communicate differently. I don't agree to that. I don't think most people do.

As for the "Smile!" thing, that sounds like "A case of the Mondays" to me, at which point the comment carries no value or purpose whatsoever. It's just a way of making conversation with someone - whether you know them or not - in what I assume is a "friendly" manner. Now I personally think these comments are retarded as well, especially being the sort of person I tend to be in public situations. I keep to myself, I don't really look around, I have a stoic look, etc. So when people tell me to cheer up or whatnot with one of these throw-away comments, I normally just shrug it off. If they persist, I'll just let 'em know I'm just indifferent, but in a somewhat positive way. Like "Thanks, I'm fine, how are you?"

And for what it's worth, if there's a guy out there that honestly thinks a comment like any one of these is an opener, he needs help. Serious help.
 
People who look tired look like shit, therefore, telling someone they look tired is just like telling them they look like shit.

Still....I don't see the big deal.
 
[quote name='mr ryles']If someone told me I look tired right now, it is because I pretty much am high rigth now.[/quote]

Enough with the pot references, Ryles. :roll:
 
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