Several months ago our dishwasher went out and we've been going without one ever since. We finally bought one over the weekend and it's being delivered tomorrow. They're going to take our old one away so I decided to go ahead and get that disconnected.
First thing I do is turn the thing on to make sure it hasn't completely died yet. Didn't want to flip the wrong breaker and then test it only to find out that it didn't come on because it had taken it's last shit and then shock the

out of me with the live wire. So I turn the bastard on it comes to life. It was on for 1-2 seconds before I shut it back off. I then proceed to disconnect the water line and the power line, then pull the dishwasher out about a few feet so I can get to the return hose a little easier. I expected a little bit of water so I grabbed the two hand towels I had in the kitchen and laid them down, but the only thing the dishwasher had been used for in the last few months was a place to drip dry the dishes when we washed them by hand so I wasn't expecting much. Well

me.
Apparently my turning the damn thing on for that 2 seconds was enough to fill it to capacity because when I unhooked that hose water just started pouring out. Those hand towels didn't stand a chance.
Immediately my socks were soaked as the puddle spread fast across the floor. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a couple of towels and ran back but not before I threw off my socks and my jeans. So I'm running into the the kitchen and throwing these towels on the floor when all of a sudden the doorbell rings and there's a loud knock at the front door. Now already I know that it's a solicitor because 1) our neighborhood is crawling with them and 2) everyone that visits knows to use the back door.
I

ing hate solicitors. Can't

ing stand them. Biggest reason is probably because I work 3rd shift and they are always waking me up. They can all take a long suck on my ass. So I'm already annoyed at the mess I've got on my hands and trying to keep it from spreading and then I feel my temperature rise when that knock hits the door. He knocks and rings the doorbell again before moving on.... or so he probably wishes.
Next thing I know there's a knock at my backdoor. One thing I always meant to do but never did was buy some curtains or blinds for the window on my backdoor. I thought it would be nice but I wasn't really worried about anyone peeking in because it's my backdoor, you know? I instinctively look at my backdoor when I hear the knock and this mother

er is peering in my backdoor window and here I am with this dishwasher tipped over, water going everywhere, two sopping wet towels in my hands and no pants on. Our eyes meet for a second and I yell "HEY,

OFF". He jumps back and disappears.
I don't know if he was trying to get me to change internet providers, sell girl scout cookies, or tell me about the glory of salvation but either

ing way if he didn't get moving fast he was going to get his ass beat.
My luck, he was probably casing the joint and will steal my new dishwasher next week.
Oh, and

all of you who are thinking of telling me that I should've tested it with the dry cycle.

you all right in the ear.