Duke Nukem Forever Teaser Trailer--Hail to the King, baby

Duke Nukem is going to take all the bitches that John Romero made, and then make them his bitches, and this is most certainly because he is all out of bubblegum.

Also, can we get some Stephen Blum up ins for Duke's voice?
 
[quote name='guinaevere']That's what we need, a They Live game. The entire game could center around that fist fight between Roddy Piper and Keith David.[/QUOTE]
Video games aren't awesome enough yet to handle that.
 
No one that I know of has had one sided walls as part of their engine/level designs since those days. Its not like they couldntve done it if they wanted to, but everything is all about being ultra realistic these days.
 
I'm waiting for the coming of Duke Nukem Forever to merge with the doctrine of the coming of the messiah.
Sure it might take a millennium, but the lolz will be worth it.
 
Boo-rrring. But I think we expected that. All the seemingly in-game segments must've been running on the 360 already too, because it ran like crap.
 
[quote name='looploop']I'm waiting for the coming of Duke Nukem Forever to merge with the doctrine of the coming of the messiah.
Sure it might take a millennium, but the lolz will be worth it.[/QUOTE]

Surely, Christ referred to the apostles as "my bitches" whenever he was in a sour mood, which coincided with his fasting from bubblegum yea verily.
 
[quote name='guinaevere']After how many years, this is what they give us?

I loved Duke. And my heart bled for him, truly it did, when those alien bastards shot up his ride. I mean, that was tragic. But I look at this pic, and its horrible. Looks like someone took a face cap of bruce willis and put it on some 3dskin in duke attire, then photoshopped some wayfarers on. Granted, it's better than the old 8block graphics from '91, but this isn't 1991.

It's one image, but one picture can say 1000 words. And with Duke around, those words will probably titilate the pre-adolescent crowd. Sadly this one picture is telling me that I'm going to be massively disappointed.

Romero and Daikatana tells me, "no, that's a bad policy."


And Chac, put a sweater on.[/QUOTE]


:lol: wow. what exactly were you expecting? Looks like most game heroes these days-- cheesy + hyper-masculine FTSales
(or alternatively, cheesy + androgynous in japan)



Trailer was nothing great, but this day has claimed its place in videogame history...to be referred back to in the year 2013 when the next trailer comes out.
 
[quote name='Apossum']:lol: wow. what exactly were you expecting? Looks like most game heroes these days-- cheesy + hyper-masculine FTSales
(or alternatively, cheesy + androgynous in japan)[/QUOTE]

One day I really need to do this one joke I've thought about when it comes to game heroes.

Basically I was going to draw a bald guy with a menacing smirk on his face. Then I was going to frame it with a milk carton, and write "Have you seen this man?" above it in a parody to those missing children things.

Then I was going to put a tiny detail here or there to differentiate various video game characters.

Man + Goggles = Sam Fisher

Man + Yellow flat top = Duke Nukem

Man + Bandana = Gears of Wars idiots

Etc etc.

All of them look identical these days anyway.
 
[quote name='Scorch']A teaser?

Almost 10 years later, and a teaser?

Expect a voice over, dramatic music, and a shitty logo.[/quote]

Scorch wins. Flawless victory.

..friendship!?
 
[quote name='Strell']One day I really need to do this one joke I've thought about when it comes to game heroes.

Basically I was going to draw a bald guy with a menacing smirk on his face. Then I was going to frame it with a milk carton, and write "Have you seen this man?" above it in a parody to those missing children things.

Then I was going to put a tiny detail here or there to differentiate various video game characters.

Man + Goggles = Sam Fisher

Man + Yellow flat top = Duke Nukem

Man + Bandana = Gears of Wars idiots

Etc etc.

All of them look identical these days anyway.[/QUOTE]


We should develop a game called "Light Bloom: the Adventures of Bald Space Marines Shooting Aliens in Brown World." Make the achievements really easy to get and voila! We're rich as hell!
 
[quote name='guyver2077']that was awesome..

i swear you people are so hard to please..

its duke fucking nukem~!![/QUOTE]

It's also from the people that developed Prey, which is arguably one of the most forgettable shooters of all time.

And Duke really does feel like a horribly generic character right now. He's not cool anymore, he was never funny, and his inclusion alone isn't going to make a great game or even an acceptable one.
 
Strell, you is on thin ice. Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin ice.

[quote name='Apossum']:lol: wow. what exactly were you expecting? Looks like most game heroes these days-- cheesy + hyper-masculine FTSales
(or alternatively, cheesy + androgynous in japan)[/quote]Marcus? Dom? Cole? Baird? Hyper masculine, fine. Cheesy is fine if it's actually funny. The OP pic of Duke just look like some doofus bulked up. I don't want a doofus on steroids.



Right now my connection can't handle the trailer. How good? How bad?

[quote name='Chacrana']Like you wouldn't, bigot.[/quote]I'd like to state for the records that I for one do NOT want Duke with big boobs. XP
 
[quote name='mykevermin']:lol:

Duke Nukem: Chinese Democracy[/quote]

Seabastian Bach said the first part is supposed to come out next year and that there are two more parts coming before 2012. Believe.
 
[quote name='guinaevere']Cheesy is fine if it's actually funny.[/QUOTE]

Maybe. Depends on the context. I don't think Marcux Fenix and th' gang are intended to be funny. Perhaps they can be. The cutscenes in UTIII are really poorly written and have a "camp" quality to them - again, I'm not convinced that it was intentionally made campy. But it is, and thus I can get over the hypermasculine aspect because it's not so weighty.

For Duke Nukem, however, it has always had this towel-snappin'-in-the-locker-room "dude" vibe to it. Like it's trying way too hard to appeal to the Girls Gone Wild shoppers amongst gamers or something. A video equivalent of Larry the Cable Guy. It's not clever, it's not original...but people like it.

I felt that way about the original games, too (forget the aside to point how how racist I thought Shadow Warrior was - just to give you a fuller picture of my perspective). Just macho by itself is fine; but macho with self-aggrandizing "aren't we clever" attitude just doesn't work when all you've got to offer is dick jokes we've known since 3rd grade, let alone when you're repeating the same formula you had 14-15 years ago. Kiss and Van Halen can pull it off, but that's the exception. For every Van Halen tour, there's a thousand touring "Faster Pussycats" playing in front of 17 people at Burl's Chicken Shack and Laundromat" in Des Moines.
 
dukebitch.jpg
 
[quote name='Apossum']We should develop a game called "Light Bloom: the Adventures of Bald Space Marines Shooting Aliens in Brown World." Make the achievements really easy to get and voila! We're rich as hell![/quote]

Blacksite?
Timeshift?

MAKE IT STOP
MAKE IT STOP

Also Duke is dead, let him die and remain a good memory.
 
Off-topic, but if you want to be technical, 3D Realms did not develop the final version of Prey. That was Human Head, with 3D Realms supervising.

It's like id's roles in Quake Wars and Quake 4 (and to a lesser extent, 3D Realms' role with Max Payne, though they also did most of the sound work).

Would you blame id for the quality of Quake 4, or blame Raven? Would you judge the quality of DNF beased on what you've experienced with Prey?

Not trying to step on anyones toes.
 
[quote name='guinaevere']Strell, you is on thin ice. Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin ice.

Marcus? Dom? Cole? Baird? Hyper masculine, fine. Cheesy is fine if it's actually funny. The OP pic of Duke just look like some doofus bulked up. I don't want a doofus on steroids.



Right now my connection can't handle the trailer. How good? How bad?

I'd like to state for the records that I for one do NOT want Duke with big boobs. XP[/QUOTE]


Fair enough. yeah, I can't tell if I'm supposed to take the whole "AMERICA!! fuck YEAH!!! Beer, cigars, weight lifting an' bowel movements!!!" edge. I think it's tongue and cheek, but I can see dumb teens thinking "haw haw, duke is bad ass!"

The trailer was pretty bad. If it were any other game, it wouldn't have a thread dedicated to it here and it wouldn't be crashing company websites, that's for sure.

And Duke's boobs will not be in the XP version. Duke's boobs will be a DX10 vista exclusive feature. Team Ninja was signed on to program the jiggle physics.
 
[quote name='mrelusive']Off-topic, but if you want to be technical, 3D Realms did not develop the final version of Prey. That was Human Head, with 3D Realms supervising.
[/QUOTE]

Oh that's right... forgot about that. Well then, that just means that 3D Realms hasn't actually made a game since Shadow Warrior or Balls of Steel.
 
[quote name='LinkinPrime']Thanks, finally got to see it. I'm sold. As soon as a version for XBOX360 is announced I'm running out to preorder it.[/quote]

Make sure to save that preorder in a safe place. It will be worth a lot in 2034 :p
 
[quote name='LinkinPrime']Thanks, finally got to see it. I'm sold. As soon as a version for XBOX360 is announced I'm running out to preorder it.[/QUOTE]


Your great grandchildren are gonna be psyched come Christmas 2056!!!
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Maybe. Depends on the context. I don't think Marcux Fenix and th' gang are intended to be funny. [/quote]No question. There were humerous moments, but it was because the characters were fairly well written. Dom with "this is gonna be awesome" and "they're like two a$$holes on their first date." Cole with "what the hell does lambent mean?!" Baird all of a sudden acting like the good cop to marcus' bad cop outside the factory, "c'mon Cole, let's go" (or something like that).

Not gut busters, but it wasn't that kind of game. Trying to put a guffaw in there as opposed to a chuckle would have felt like a cheap sell out.


Perhaps they can be. The cutscenes in UTIII are really poorly written and have a "camp" quality to them - again, I'm not convinced that it was intentionally made campy. But it is, and thus I can get over the hypermasculine aspect because it's not so weighty.
Click to expand...
Not to derail the conversation further into the quality of writing, but as a whole I'm generally more of a fan of accidental camp (think original biohazard) than when folks try to write it. Bards Tale? Pathetic.

For Duke Nukem, however, it has always had this towel-snappin'-in-the-locker-room "dude" vibe to it. Like it's trying way too hard to appeal to the Girls Gone Wild shoppers amongst gamers or something. A video equivalent of Larry the Cable Guy. It's not clever, it's not original...but people like it.
Click to expand...
Absolutely. I enjoyed some of the earlier games. To me the Nukem franchise became like the Monkey Island franchise. At one time original (even if it was original for being crudish and over the top), once it became known for something, the writers aspire to that reputation and fail.

[quote name='Dkellar']I was hoping it would have some type of release time...say maybe "Summer 2101"[/quote]Nice.

[quote name='Apossum']The trailer was pretty bad. If it were any other game, it wouldn't have a thread dedicated to it here and it wouldn't be crashing company websites, that's for sure.[/quote]Sounds about right.

And Duke's boobs will not be in the XP version. Duke's boobs will be a DX10 vista exclusive feature. Team Ninja was signed on to program the jiggle physics.
Click to expand...
So long as I don't have to look at 'em.
 
The need to change the character design to how it was back in Duke 2 with the personality of Duke 3-d. The Bruce Willis crap isn't cutting it out, I also hope they don't make duke the only human character in the whole game again. I've been out of the loop since Duke 3-d.
The theme is still awesome after all these years though. Remember when Duke was on Oprah in Duke 2?
 
Haw Haw @ "alien toilet to park my bricks"

I got goosebumps when I heard the remixed Duke theme.

If nothing else, I hope this at least gets Duke Nukem 3d on XBLA.
 
[quote name='LinkinPrime']Thanks, finally got to see it. I'm sold. As soon as a version for XBOX360 is announced I'm running out to preorder it.[/quote]

Me too but I will most likely pre-order it on Amazon.com. There is a thread in the Deal Discussions section about Gamestop not coming through with pre-orders.
 
[quote name='anomynous']Still never gonna come out[/quote]


I bet you one dollar it will. Well not really a dollar. But something of no monitary value since this shit is going to get flushed like his bricks in the lady alien toilet.
 
[quote name='Kendal']I bet you one dollar it will. Well not really a dollar. But something of no monitary value since this shit is going to get flushed like his bricks in the lady alien toilet.[/QUOTE]

Make it a dollar with 7% interest for every month it takes from now until release. That way, if you're right, you'll be totally loaded.

And since you can never be proven wrong (like the war in Iraq - just say "keep waiting, man...it's coming, it's coming"), you'll never be out a dollar.

Helluva wager, IMO.
 
that's it?!?!?! Duke Pumping Iron, blowing smoke , a few shots of the creatures in 3d screaming?!?!?!

10 years wait for that!?!?!?

The flag logo was the best part.

anyways will this be enough for investors and publishers? Nope.

See ya later duke,

Honestly, they should just remake the first game using the Unreal engine. They can get that out in less than a year..at least we get something.
 
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