> > Subject: George Bush Resume
> > Seeking Job:
> >
> > Past Work Experience
> >
> > GEORGE W. BUSH
> > 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
> > Washington, DC 20520
> >
> > EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
> >
> > Law Enforcement:
> > I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under
> > the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
> > driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has
> > been "lost" and is not available.
> >
> >
> >
> > Military:
> > I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
> > I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my
> > drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to
> > avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
> >
> >
> > College:
> > I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
> > I was a cheerleader.
> >
> >
> > PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> >
> > I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in
> > the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an Oil
> > company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went
> > bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas
> > Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using
> > taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the
> > oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor
> > of Texas.
> >
> >
> > ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS
> >
> > I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
> > making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure,
> > Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in
> > America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune
> > of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most
> > executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my
> > brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to
> > the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000
> > votes.
> >
> >
> >
> > ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
> > I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
> > criminal record.
> >
> > I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over
> > one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and
> > effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for
> > the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record
> > for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set
> > the all- time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I
> > set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
> > U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million
> > Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm
> > proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
> > administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire,"
> > Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
> >
> > I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by
> > a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder
> > for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest
> > lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth
> > Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
> > History, Enron.
> >
> > My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys
> > to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
> > decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton
> > against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
> > investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
> > investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I
> > presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
> > to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was
> > revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S.
> > history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to
> > be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted
> > criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I
> > created the Ministry of Homeland security, the largest bureaucracy
> > in the history of the United States government. I've broken more
> > international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the
> > first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
> > the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S.
> > from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's
> > access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby
> > have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the
> > first President in history to refuse United Nations election
> > inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
> >
> > I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
> > President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record
> > for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off
> > the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security
> > failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S.
> > after ! the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
> > made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest
> > failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time
> > record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in
> > public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
> > protests against any person in the history of mankind.
> >
> > I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
> > pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign
> > nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the
> > majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut
> > health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
> > benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime. In
> > my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
> > attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am
> > the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
> > (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
> > security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker
> > Buster," a WMD.
> >
> > I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden
> > [sic] to justice.
> >
> > RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> > All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my
> > father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All
> > records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
> > bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
> > view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
> > Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed
> > in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.