How does an adult make friends?

[quote name='steve_k']You're onto something here. Plenty of things suck now:
- the Internet dominates everyone's life, making some simple tasks now overly-complicated or dangerous
[/QUOTE]

Do tell? In what ways is the Internet causing simple tasks to do me bodily harm? D:
 
[quote name='guinaevere']Going off topic, but this is the off-topic forum. Do you care if other people are drinking alcohol or not?[/QUOTE]

Noone really cares but if you're not drinking it's annoying to answer "where's your drink" time after time, or continually knock down offers of "I'll get this round". Having a dummy drink is just a convenience thing.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']This thread is pissing me off, but in a semi-positive way. Man, I could have been playing MVC2 in this one arcade near me every Saturday night, meeting some cool dudes, forming rivalries and friendships, and that was taken away from me right when I was able to do so.

*grumble grumble*

And I hate online gaming. Haven't liked it since Daytona USA on the Dreamcast, and even that wasn't as good as Chu Chu Rocket, so it's not like I can enjoy MVC2 on PSN or XBLA.

This decade is perhaps the worst decade in the history of everything.[/QUOTE]


bring your dolls whenever you go outside... great icebreakers
 
it's all about the multiplayer mouse hoarding.
...I find myself in the same boat: I just moved to a new city with a new job and I have no idea how to find friends. Normally, all my friends have been thru work but this place is a smaller work place and I'm doing independent stuff so... not really meeting people at work. I've been here 3 weeks and I can feel the lonely creeping in. :(
 
A line from a previous reply:
"- everyone is afraid everyone else is some kind of rapist, con-artist, or child molester (maybe that's just because I'm in Houston)"

THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE!!!!!!


And a lot of people I'm talking to are acting like people that have kids can only be friends with other people that have kids. Married people can't be friends with single people, etc. Frankly, I've got enough people that I converse with about underpants and how to get crayon out of upholstery. Maybe I WANT to befriend someone without a kid, but those people get freaked out by kids. What gives?? Quit being snooty!!
 
[quote name='etschell']you can make friends by buying a ferrari enzo. just dont crash it.[/QUOTE]
Dude, my favorite nearby arcade had the big-ass triple screen Ferrari F355 Challenge, and I was going to use it to learn how to drive stick. I was already going there for a couple months every Saturday spending $10 a week playing the game last year.

Then the arcade went out of business. fuck my life.

I think Wal Mart actually bought the land, and they plan on making a big-ass super center that's going to put all the other grocery stores in the area out of business, so fuck Wal Mart, too. I rarely ever went to Wal Mart before, but I will definitely never go to one again now that they have killed my arcade. Well, I might stop in to take a leak if I'm on the road and nature calls, but I'm not buying anything.

As for the doll replies, bite me.
 
[quote name='steve_k']You're onto something here. Plenty of things suck now:

- the economy collapsed, which means finding a job is like winning the lottery
- no more arcades
- cost of college continues to skyrocket while benefits of having a degree continue to dwindle
- gold is so outrageously expensive ($1,038 per ounce) that owning any is more difficult than ever
- everyone is afraid of losing their jobs because of all the layoffs and growing unemployment rate
- FM radio now sucks (no more rock or heavy metal stations like back in the 1990's)
- Gamestop has gotten rid of nearly all the best video game stores
- the Internet dominates everyone's life, making some simple tasks now overly-complicated or dangerous
- everyone is afraid everyone else is some kind of rapist, con-artist, or child molester (maybe that's just because I'm in Houston)
- hardly any new 2D video games[/QUOTE]

Life in this decade is amazing. There has never been a cooler time to be alive than right now...

Of course... if you focus on everything bad, ignoring everything that is fantastic and better than 10 years ago, things will seem crappy.
 
[quote name='BattleChicken']Life in this decade is amazing. There has never been a cooler time to be alive than right now...

Of course... if you focus on everything bad, ignoring everything that is fantastic and better than 10 years ago, things will seem crappy.[/QUOTE]

Yep. Hate to be cliche, but life is what you make of it for the most part (illness, death etc. aside).

If you always focus on the negatives, life will always suck to you. Focus on the positives and make the best of the cards you're dealt.
 
Man, this is one interesting thread. I definitely see where this guy is coming from, but his reasoning for not going to a bar is sorta weird. There aren't that many adults out there that are going to want to play video games with you. I hate to break it to you.
 
[quote name='GrereX']You could join a class in a special activity like learning a language or cooking[/QUOTE]

I was going to suggest something like this. In New York, BOCES and the community colleges both offer adult non-credit continuing education classes. In this area they offer everything from ceramics to computer repair. My stepfather is currently taking an "intro to singing" class. There are people in his class from 16yo-75yo, both men and women. If that's not your thing, what about volunteering at the library, animal shelter, local political committee, or assistant coaching a town sports team?

I was actually having this conversation lately. My fiance and I bought a house about 3 years and we moved an hour (or more) away from the town where the majority of our friends and coworkers live. Now we're in our late 20's and most of our friends are an hour+ away, married and have or are in the process of having kids. Being that the two of us work in different industries and work different schedules but both work 60-ish+ hours a week, how do we find people to hang out with? We tried hanging out in bars in town and met townies. Not the type of people we would want to hang out with. With our crazy schedules and different interests, how do we sign up for a class or a club?

The way I've been social is by having a second job in retail (at a ski shop) and get paid to talk to all sorts of people every day about a hobby that I love. Once in a while I meet a ski instructor or ski patroler and I'll say something like "next time I'm at Hunter I'll look you up and we can catch a run together". People are usually receptive to that but so far it hasn't panned out into actually hanging out with anyone on the slopes.
 
[quote name='etschell']you can make friends by buying a ferrari enzo. just dont crash it.[/QUOTE]
This is true. I'll be your very special friend for an Enzo. Or even a Skyline GT-R or Ford GT, if you're on a tight budget.
 
[quote name='dmaul1114']I see girls/women in the theater by themselves. Just have to get it out of your head that going to the movies has to be a date or social outing. Vs. just a movie lover going to see a film.[/QUOTE]
When I went to the movies last Saturday to see Zombieland, I saw this woman with long hair in the theater. Then I saw her in the bathroom after the movie was over.

It took me a couple seconds to realize it. I thought I went into the wrong bathroom at first, but when I realized women's bathrooms don't have urinals, and women don't (usually) pee standing up, I was like FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a dude with long hair.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']When I went to the movies last Saturday to see Zombieland, I saw this woman with long hair in the theater. Then I saw her in the bathroom after the movie was over.

It took me a couple seconds to realize it. I thought I went into the wrong bathroom at first, but when I realized women's bathrooms don't have urinals, and women don't (usually) pee standing up, I was like FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a dude with long hair.[/QUOTE]

That happens to me a lot.
I'm like.. mmm! he is HOT.. oh.. oh wait..damnit. Lesbian.

::walks away::
 
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[quote name='Chuplayer']When I went to the movies last Saturday to see Zombieland, I saw this woman with long hair in the theater. Then I saw her in the bathroom after the movie was over.

It took me a couple seconds to realize it. I thought I went into the wrong bathroom at first, but when I realized women's bathrooms don't have urinals, and women don't (usually) pee standing up, I was like FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a dude with long hair.[/QUOTE]

I walked into the lady's room at an unfamiliar bar once. Me and the lady holding the door for me shared a brief but mutually awkward glance. What's worst is walking into the bathroom and not seeing urinals. That's when you back pedal.
 
[quote name='c0rnpwn']Do tell? In what ways is the Internet causing simple tasks to do me bodily harm? D:[/QUOTE]

I did not say 'bodily harm'. I said 'dangerous'. Used to, you could apply for a retail job by walking in and filling out a job application. Now, you have to go online and fill out an online job application that requires your social security number. This is dangerous in that it exposes you to the risk of identity theft. You cannot write 'will provide after job interview' on an online job application's social security number field.

This is off subject.
 
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[quote name='Chuplayer']Dude, my favorite nearby arcade had the big-ass triple screen Ferrari F355 Challenge, and I was going to use it to learn how to drive stick. I was already going there for a couple months every Saturday spending $10 a week playing the game last year.

Then the arcade went out of business. fuck my life.

I think Wal Mart actually bought the land, and they plan on making a big-ass super center that's going to put all the other grocery stores in the area out of business, so fuck Wal Mart, too. I rarely ever went to Wal Mart before, but I will definitely never go to one again now that they have killed my arcade. Well, I might stop in to take a leak if I'm on the road and nature calls, but I'm not buying anything.

As for the doll replies, bite me.[/QUOTE]

that shaq fooking sucks. oh well, you could learn stick by going to a dealership and fronting like you were going to buy a high end sports card. then walking off after you learn the rounds.
 
[quote name='steve_k']I did not say 'bodily harm'. I said 'dangerous'. Used to, you could apply for a retail job by walking in and filling out a job application. Now, you have to go online and fill out an online job application that requires your social security number. This is dangerous in that it exposes you to the risk of identity theft. You cannot write 'will provide after job interview' on an online job application's social security number field.

This is off subject.[/QUOTE]

It's not really off subject. What that tells me is you're incredibly paranoid and distrusting of society. It'll certainly be difficult to make friends with that agoraphobic tendency. I'm not suggesting you go out and hand out your SSN to anyone that asks, but while identity theft is possible inter alia, you probably won't get snared. Just like you probably won't get burned when you strike up a conversation with someone you don't know.
 
[quote name='c0rnpwn']It's not really off subject. What that tells me is you're incredibly paranoid and distrusting of society. It'll certainly be difficult to make friends with that agoraphobic tendency. I'm not suggesting you go out and hand out your SSN to anyone that asks, but while identity theft is possible inter alia, you probably won't get snared. Just like you probably won't get burned when you strike up a conversation with someone you don't know.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, if I had remembered that this was the guy complaining about the online applications (for a job he also said was beneath him) I wouldn't have bothered clicking the topic as he's a lost cause.
 
[quote name='pimpster4183']Post a bulletin on craigs list asking for "cool adult people to hang out"[/QUOTE]

I have tried this. See previous posts. 89% of people who reply to CL ads are creepers. I did meet a guy who works at a Game Stop recently, we exchanged numbers in a nonsexual way. YAAY! I finally got a guy's number who doesn't think I'm going to bring lube to our encounter!!

Exchanging XBL gamertags works, I've learned, if you wanna go the nerd route and not the "let going mountain biking" route.
 
[quote name='Goonie85']I have tried this. See previous posts. 89% of people who reply to CL ads are creepers. I did meet a guy who works at a Game Stop recently, we exchanged numbers in a nonsexual way. YAAY! I finally got a guy's number who doesn't think I'm going to bring lube to our encounter!!

Exchanging XBL gamertags works, I've learned, if you wanna go the nerd route and not the "let going mountain biking" route.[/QUOTE]

haha what the hell is wrong with mountain biking? This thread brings out the creepers.
 
[quote name='dubbfoolio']haha what the hell is wrong with mountain biking? This thread brings out the creepers.[/QUOTE]

Nahh, not too many creepers posting in the thread itself. Probably just the people looking at it without responding. You always watch out for the quiet ones.

And nothing is wrong with mountain biking, if you're itnto that kinda thing. I find it difficult to have a conversation whilst doing any kind of biking.

Plus I look like a 'tard in a helmet.
 
[quote name='camoor']Beer is the nectar of the nitwits.
[/QUOTE]

Bud light and other mass produced piss water (and the crappy bars that only serve them)? Absolutely. I can pretty strongly say I've seldom met anyone worth befriending who was a regular at such a place.

Now nicer bars with good selections of micro brews and imports--I've met lots of interesting people as people go to enjoy good beer. Not just pound piss water to get drunk. Plus being pricer you get more people with successful careers etc. so you thin out the losers some.

To be clear, that's talking in probabilities. There are nitwits at good beer bars and cool people at crappy bars. But you'll find more of the nitwits pounding $2.00 buds in some shit hole than you will drinking $5-10 beers at a good beer snob bar.

Bars get a bad rap as people think of the crappy bars full of degenirates pounding crappy drinks to get shitfaced and drown their sorrows. There are plenty of bars were people go for good drink, good food and good company.
 
This thread made me realize I'm lonely so here goes nothing. I RSVP'ed a meetup this Sat from the meetup.com site. I'm kinda nervous about it right now but I know I have to go outside my comfort zone or else nothing will ever happen. Worse comes to worse I can just leave early. I sent messages to old classmates on Facebook to see if any want to get together for a beer or something. So far 2 have responded with interest. I've went to lunches with a few of my coworkers and they seem to respond well to that. One invited me to dinner with her husband and kids next week. Usually I'm in a hurry to get home before the stock market closes and I realize now I wasn't making myself available for anyone to actually befriend. I'll have to look into joining a gym or something.

Basically I read the responses in this thread and most of it sounds pretty pathetic. It seems like people want friends but don't want to take the necessary steps to get them. They come up with a bunch of excuses so as not to put themselves out there and risk getting hurt. I didn't realize it but I was unintentionally doing the same thing.
 
[quote name='javeryh']Whatever happened to being lonely and depressed? Is that not good enough anymore?[/QUOTE]
its alive & well here, my friend.
 
[quote name='cletus']Basically I read the responses in this thread and most of it sounds pretty pathetic. It seems like people want friends but don't want to take the necessary steps to get them. They come up with a bunch of excuses so as not to put themselves out there and risk getting hurt. I didn't realize it but I was unintentionally doing the same thing.[/QUOTE]

You got it. That's exactly what I see also.

The fact that you realized it and are willing to take the action means you'll find like-minded people who want to spend time around you, i.e. friends.

I wish you the best of luck, Cletus!
 
Get married and co-op all her friends husbands? :p

Just start going to events involving a hobby you enjoy, racing tracks, ice rinks, gun clubs, comic conventions, lakes, hiking trails, outdoors school etc. You're guaranteed to meet people just as obsessed and social inept as yourself.
 
[quote name='TopSpot123'][/QUOTE]

I prefer real friends, not virtual online friends. What's the point of making friends with someone hundreds of miles away who I will never get a chance to meet in person?

Maybe you have real friends who just happen to be CAGers, but I don't. Most of my friends don't care for video games and have no reason to be even be aware of this website.
 
[quote name='zionoverfire']Get married and co-op all her friends husbands? :p

Just start going to events involving a hobby you enjoy, racing tracks, ice rinks, gun clubs, comic conventions, lakes, hiking trails, outdoors school etc. You're guaranteed to meet people just as obsessed and social inept as yourself.[/QUOTE]

So just because I don't drink and am not a college student means I'm socially inept? I get along with people great when I'm around them, but it's hard to find normal people (people who speak English and aren't senile) when you aren't in college any more and don't enjoy going to bars.


By the way, I've never seen a classy bar. I'm sure they exist, but I've never been exposed to one.
 
[quote name='Goonie85']Nahh, not too many creepers posting in the thread itself. Probably just the people looking at it without responding. You always watch out for the quiet ones.

And nothing is wrong with mountain biking, if you're itnto that kinda thing. I find it difficult to have a conversation whilst doing any kind of biking.

Plus I look like a 'tard in a helmet.[/QUOTE]

The way you said it made it sound like it was in the category of "bring the lube".
 
I have trouble making friends as an adult also. I had tons of close friends in college but we dispersed to different cities. The people I work with are mostly much older. I am married without kids, so I tend to hang out with girlfriends/wives of my husband's friends from work.

I don't think you should have to go to a bar if you don't like the atmosphere. They are usually loud and smoky and dull unless you have really had a lot to drink.

If you have married friends in the same area, don't assume that just because a friend is married they never want to hang out with you again. Also, they may have unmarried friends from work so make sure you express an interest in parties and get togethers. Also, don't assume that no women anywhere like to play video games. In social gatherings, observe which women are NOT wearing a ton of makeup and accessories. Women who are not obviously painted for the hunt and who dress in casual clothes are more likely to be easy to talk to and receptive to the idea of having guy friends.

You need to cultivate interests that overlap with the demographic of people you would like to hang out with. If you are a gaming geek, even if you aren't super into comic books or science fiction or plays or Renaissance fairs, consider trying out geek-centered activities. Church is another huge social/networking activity, especially those mega churches. They have singles groups and activities. If you don't like church, consider going to some kind of agnostic/atheist group. Another hint would be to figure out where the people who work at a computer company hang out after work. My husband works in programming and all his friends love gaming.
 
[quote name='Emily76']I have trouble making friends as an adult also. I had tons of close friends in college but we dispersed to different cities. The people I work with are mostly much older. I am married without kids, so I tend to hang out with girlfriends/wives of my husband's friends from work.

I don't think you should have to go to a bar if you don't like the atmosphere. They are usually loud and smoky and dull unless you have really had a lot to drink.

If you have married friends in the same area, don't assume that just because a friend is married they never want to hang out with you again. Also, they may have unmarried friends from work so make sure you express an interest in parties and get togethers. Also, don't assume that no women anywhere like to play video games. In social gatherings, observe which women are NOT wearing a ton of makeup and accessories. Women who are not obviously painted for the hunt and who dress in casual clothes are more likely to be easy to talk to and receptive to the idea of having guy friends.

You need to cultivate interests that overlap with the demographic of people you would like to hang out with. If you are a gaming geek, even if you aren't super into comic books or science fiction or plays or Renaissance fairs, consider trying out geek-centered activities. Church is another huge social/networking activity, especially those mega churches. They have singles groups and activities. If you don't like church, consider going to some kind of agnostic/atheist group. Another hint would be to figure out where the people who work at a computer company hang out after work. My husband works in programming and all his friends love gaming.[/QUOTE]

I haven't thought about a 'mega' church. It might be a good idea. I've only been to traditional churches. These are the places where you look around and see half of everyone is 60+ and the other half are traditional families (husband, wife, kids). I'm not saying family people don't want to hang out, but rather I'm saying they don't have the time to hang out. If I had a wife and kids, I would probably prefer to spend time with them more than anyone else.

Maybe at a mega church I can find some people who fall into my demographic who share my interests. The more people, the greater the odds. Dark, smokey bars really don't appeal to me.
 
Well, I have dude from Gamestop coming over tonight to watch Dexter (no lube necessary...). YEA! That's one. I still have no CAG friends, but that's cool. Not many live around me anyway, so that doesn't make a difference.
 
I doubt anyone cares but I had a lot of fun yesterday at that meetup. I was kinda nervous but once things got started I stopped thinking about it. I met a 23 year old woman that had already passed the Series 6, 7, and 11 exams (I think I'm in love). I met some guy wearing a Death Note t-shirt (he preferred subs over dubs of course). Two guys sang 'Never gonna give you up' during karaoke and yes, they did look like /b/tards. I need to do this kind of stuff more often. Thanks to whichever poster first mentioned meetup.com.

BTW it will only become harder to make new friends as you get older. At least that's what I've been told by people older then me.

I wonder if there is any interest in a CAG meetup? I'll have to look for a interesting place in the Atlanta area and start a thread in the regional subforum.
 
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