Question about this girl...

Organization_XIII

Organization_XIII

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So I got hired in at a business with this one girl who was immensely hot. Not only was she hot, but very nice and not a complete airhead, so I never really thought that I, of all people, would have a chance with her. I was fired recently, and she and I stayed in touch as friends. Like I said, I never really thought anything would happen, but out of the wild blue she sends me a message that threw me. Here's what she Facebook messaged me:

"I broke up with my bf last night.. Idk why I'm telling u just thought u should know.. It's crazy right now..."

This was completely unexpected, especially as we were just friends and was pretty obvious that nothing would happen. I was just wondering what I should say back - maybe to get on her good side and maybe start something up with her.
 
It sounds like she's looking for support. Offer to hangout and let her talk as she sounds like she has a lot on her mind...Go from there; best of luck.
 
Well if you're friends then she might just be telling you because you're friends.

But anyway, in her pooper, you know what to do.
 
how about im sorry that youre going through a rough patch if youd like maybe we can go out and do something to take your mind off your troubles and cheer you up.
 
Judging by the way you posted i.e. thinking she's above your league, so hot and thinking you don't have a shot with her. She's telling you because your just a friend and she wants comfort nothing more; unless you man up and get some confidence and pursue it like a man you will more than likely remain just a friend and not have a chance with her.
If you truly want to get a chance at her you shouldn't be posting asking what she meant with her message on the internet. You should have jumped at the opportunity and invited her out/over to take her mind off things or tried to invite yourself over to her place.
 
[quote name='lokizz']how about im sorry that youre going through a rough patch if youd like maybe we can go out and do something to take your mind off your troubles and cheer you up.[/QUOTE]

Whatever you do don't apologize for something that has nothing to do with you or talk about how her ex is an asshole or anything similar that is what girl friends are for. You can certainly say 'lets hang out or go do something and forget about that other shit' or something but apologizing is just providing comfort and remaining in the 'friend zone' which isn't where you want to be but you will be stuck there if your simply her shoulder to cry on.
 
[quote name='blissskr']Whatever you do don't apologize for something that has nothing to do with you or talk about how her ex is an asshole or anything similar that is what girl friends are for. You can certainly say 'lets hang out or go do something and forget about that other shit' or something but apologizing is just providing comfort and remaining in the 'friend zone' which isn't where you want to be but you will be stuck there if your simply her shoulder to cry on.[/QUOTE]


whats wrong with saying you feel bad about whats shes going through ?
 
[quote name='lokizz']whats wrong with saying you feel bad about whats shes going through ?[/QUOTE]

It makes you look like a pussy.
 
[quote name='Frogurt.man']It makes you look like a pussy.[/QUOTE]

Exactly, and she's going to hear the same thing from her girlfriends. And you don't want to be giving her the same advice and comfort as her girlfriends or your instantly regulated to friends category.
 
I actually replied to her message (I don't have her actual number and I know she's at work right now (we worked the same shift, and I would be working right now if I still had my job)). I think I made a pretty good, assertive, yet tame response, so the ball's in her court now. Thanks for the input you guys. I would have told her in person, but I haven't seen her face-to-face for over 3 weeks now, and have no idea where she lives or anything like that.
 
If she's as out of your league as you say, there is only one conclusion: she thinks you're gay and considers you a "girlfriend." Sorry.
 
I don't think she thinks that (I never made any weird actions or comments that would make her think that, I hope...), but yeah, she is so far out of my league it's not even funny.
 
Solution:
2010-04-19-kickass.jpg

... though there's a 50% chance that won't work.
 
ah these never get old.

I hate these situations. They are hard to read at times. She is on the rebound though just keep your guard up in the mean time just talk it out with her. Thats the best i can come up with =/
 
She initiated a dialogue with you and has given you a reason to contact her back. Talk with her, find out why she let you know about her breaking up with her BF and give her a way to do something/hang out to put her mind off of that. If she's recently single, then she might not want to jump into the relationship category with someone else. Take some time and talk with her to try and figure out what's going on with her.

Finding out what prompted her to break up with her BF so you can find out what not to do if things do move into the relationship level.

Though, with all the commentary about the usual pooper sticking, I'm surprised no one asked for "pics or GTFO". She has a Facebook page, so I'm sure all of CAG would like to see how "hot" she is and why you think she's out of your league, with pics from said Facebook page.
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']pics or GTFO[/QUOTE]

:censored: straight.

Though I suggest against peeing in her butt until at least a 2nd or 3rd date. It is just common courtesy.
 
[quote name='Organization_XIII']So I got hired in at a business with this one girl who was immensely hot. Not only was she hot, but very nice and not a complete airhead, so I never really thought that I, of all people, would have a chance with her. I was fired recently, and she and I stayed in touch as friends. Like I said, I never really thought anything would happen, but out of the wild blue she sends me a message that threw me. Here's what she Facebook messaged me:

"I broke up with my bf last night.. Idk why I'm telling u just thought u should know.. It's crazy right now..."

This was completely unexpected, especially as we were just friends and was pretty obvious that nothing would happen. I was just wondering what I should say back - maybe to get on her good side and maybe start something up with her.[/QUOTE]



Pretty simple, let me break this down for you:

1. She probably sent the same message to ALL her guy friends. Shes gona hang out with who ever gives her the most/first attention.

2. You probably seem like a nice guy who she can trust and confide in to. She needs a friend, someone to talk to, some company. So do that, hang out, talk to her and see what happens next

AND/OR

3. She wants to hook up with you ASAP to get rid of the pain of her breakup. If that's the case, GO HANDLE SON.


P.S: "so I never really thought that I, of all people, would have a chance with her." - Dude, unless your still in high school, a grown up guy shouldn't have this mentality. Your chances with a girl are 99% over if you have no confidence.


P.S.S: Pics of said hotness, put it in her ear, etc etc.:)
 
I think you should offer support, and talk to her, but take your time with it. Don't seem aggressive and cut straight to the chase because she will spot that, and maybe even get a little turned off.
 
Keep the hang out pretty simple and suggest something to do (that's taking the initiative) I'd say go meet up at a bar and get some drinks. You can even phrase it as something like "Yea I've been having the longest week and I really want to get out of the house and do something." Then it's not all about her. Now regarding a date, here's how I see it: you go to a coffee shop and you're gonna get an earful about the whole thing. Go get some cocktails or beers and you'll both loosen up. Choose a darker bar, too. Takes the edge off. If you can get her a little tipsy and you're laughing and having a good time, as opposed to a heavy friend-zone talk you're gonna be in the best shape you can be.

Sometimes these things really work out. And you gotta move on it. If you wait a week, you may miss the opportunity. Like some others said, be/act confident. Play it cool.

Oh and, worst case scenario you get a hot chick friend. Don't undervalue those -- they love to hook their friends up and I'll bet you she has a lot of hot friends. That's your in.
 
Everyone asking for pics has to realize that the way these threads usually end up is we're never going to hear from the OP again.
 
Put her down and make her feel like it's her fault her BF broke up with her.

Keep a womans self esteem low and her legs will open.

just sayin...
 
[quote name='Puffa469']Put her down and make her feel like it's her fault her BF broke up with her.

Keep a womans self esteem low and her legs will open.

just sayin...[/QUOTE]

Puffa is dead on.
 
This is beyond simple:

You became attractive to her by being yourself when you weren't trying to get her and she wasn't interested in being 'got'. Now, she just broke up and immediately let you know about it. She is TELLING YOU to come and get her. The ball is 100% in YOUR court not hers. Take what you want or be like her girlfriends and get plopped in the "just friends" category. Once there, you will 99% never reverse that label.

Do:
Listen to her if she wants to talk. But don't listen for hours and be all sympathetic and chatty. That's what her girlfriends are for. Change the subject and go DO something fun with her.
Be confident and fun. Make her laugh. This is the winning combo.
Set up a date immediately, like invite her to something YOU are doing this weekend. Don't invite her out to something she wants to do or even ask her what she would want to do.
On the first date this weekend Touch her randomly as often as you can get away with that seems natural. It's a subtle way of generating/escalating physical attraction.
Kiss her as soon as it feels right at the end of the first date or definitely the second.

Do not:
Be her girl-friend. She already has those. It's likely the guy she dumped was a wuss.
Act in any way unsure of yourself. How hot a girl is is never an indicator of whether you have a chance. You always have a chance -if- you're the man.
Linger on her break-up. I wouldn't talk about it at all if I were you. You need to create new good events so she sees you as the new/better boyfriend.

If you wuss out and miss out, don't come back here for sympathy, the hyenas devour the weak.
If you annihilate, then please come back and brag.
Good Luck and go take what you want!
 
You don't work with her anymore so it isn't like you have anything to lose, you strike out what is she gonna do defriend you?

But seriously out of your league and you are jobless?
 
It's obvious you were always in the friend zone, and any remote possibility of being a rebound you totally fudged.

Your best option is to try and turn the bad situation into a good one. You're friend zoned. So use her to pick up / talk to other hot chicks. Being validated by other chicks is gold man.
 
Pay attention to this:
http://www.laddertheory.com/

And don't put pictures of her on here. Just imagine if she found out about it. Then you can't even be her gay-friend.

She's on the rebound right now, which is dangerous for you because you could easily fall into the friend zone by being a nice human being and supporting her through this time.

What you should really do is try to be the rebound hookup, so at least you can get a piece of her before she's ready to move on.
 
Tell her you're glad they broke up, she will be very interested as to why you said that and then will open up a very extensive conversation that will head straight in the direction you want.
 
[quote name='Limegreen']Tell her you're glad they broke up, she will be very interested as to why you said that and then will open up a very extensive conversation that will head straight in the direction you want.[/QUOTE]

Straight to the restraining order.

~HotShotX
 
[quote name='Limegreen']Tell her you're glad they broke up, she will be very interested as to why you said that and then will open up a very extensive conversation that will head straight in the direction you want.[/QUOTE]i think that could work.
[quote name='Organization_XIII']I actually replied to her message[/QUOTE]
oh... nevermind then.[quote name='dkreegz515']sounds like you are going to be a revenge bang.[/QUOTE]dude you say that like it's bad thing. I mean it's not the way I roll (actually for Girl i actually would have) but still isn't that the dream for like 90% of dudes according to every sitcom ever?
 
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