His vitriol being directed at WWE makes sense for a number of reasons:
1) He was forced out of OVW
2) WWE doesn't sign his paychecks
I think there was a third, but I forgot. There's a certain degree of sympathy for underdogs, I suppose (in this case TNA) - they have shown glints of promise over time, but their biggest fault (which I'm sure you agree with since you call Cornette a hypocrite) is that the format/style they've selected for the television show is based on the WWE format, with few and short matches of little meaning, long and droll in-ring interviews with crammed-down-your-throats run-ins that HAVE to HAVE theme music and entrances every time, last-minute main events with run-ins, etc.
I sometimes worry that WWE/TNA programming will be two hours of nothing but wrestler entrances.
I swear Randy Orton's entrances have gotten to about 10 minutes long. It takes him longer to make it to the ring than Taker at this point. Even funnier when Rhodes and Dibiase have to consciously make an effort to not walk in front of Randy.
[quote name='mykevermin']His vitriol being directed at WWE makes sense for a number of reasons:
1) He was forced out of OVW
2) WWE doesn't sign his paychecks
I think there was a third, but I forgot. There's a certain degree of sympathy for underdogs, I suppose (in this case TNA) - they have shown glints of promise over time, but their biggest fault (which I'm sure you agree with since you call Cornette a hypocrite) is that the format/style they've selected for the television show is based on the WWE format, with few and short matches of little meaning, long and droll in-ring interviews with crammed-down-your-throats run-ins that HAVE to HAVE theme music and entrances every time, last-minute main events with run-ins, etc.
I sometimes worry that WWE/TNA programming will be two hours of nothing but wrestler entrances.[/QUOTE]
Basically, TNA is like late era WCW in hyperspeed. It's seems like Jim has made it clear that as long as you pony up the cash, he'll go along with whatever and swallow his pride.
Also
Injury rates soar as people who have never been in a match come up with ridiculously complicated stipulations and gimmick-laden bouts that are impossible to perform safely, all the while knowing THEY'LL never have to risk their necks actually executing the shit.
I haven't watched an entire WWE or TNA show in a long time - and I'm normally doing a trillion other things on my computer while watching TV. But part of me wants to time the overall length of entrances on an average wrestling show. With 88-95 minutes of TV on a Monday, what percentage consists of on-air (i.e., everyone but Jamie Knoble) entrances?
Something else totally unrelated: with Steamboat being on WWE programming over the past month or so, the announcers have made mention of "Randy Savage" on a number of occasions. They have not, however, let the words "Macho Man" pass their lips (to my knowledge). Am I the only one who notices this? Am I the only one who thinks that's both intentional but also puzzling?
EDIT: Yeah, I thought of the Sky-Walkers match when I read that, too. Can still picture the black and gold blur hurtling towards the ring mat.
But that's not his point, I think. People get injured in wrestling, and pointing to one stupid moment in one stupid match is different, *entirely* different, from those who participate in stupid stip matches several times a month. Comparing it to the frequency of injuries in wrestling today (and how that's related to the incredibly different style of wrestling used in the ring today compared with just 10-15 years back - when was the last time you saw a good-ol-generic suplex?), it's totally unfair to point to Sky Walkers and call him a hypocrite. Compare it, on the other hand, to Abyss' monthly bloodletting on PPV that's so common, mundane, and meaningless you feel it's only relevant as a reminder to set your watch - and then you may have a point. TNA has some crazy dumb stipulations - whoever came up with the reverse battle royal thing they do, or the king of the mountain match - those guys need to be slapped in the face - but Cornette is right about injuries.
Forgot to mention, Brutus Magnus stole Hernandez' World Title Shot briefcase, though i suspect nothing will come of that with TNA's world title scene at the moment.
They had a stretcher match in TNA tonight between Madison Rayne and Kong. Except it wasn't the WWE stretcher match, it was a last man standing match, except they had to be on a MASH prop looking stretcher in order for the 10 count to start.Oddly simple for TNA. Served its purpose, Kong was angry, and they planted the emergency seeds of Madison turning face again, since Sarah Stock's dark match with Kong didn't go too well.
HHH's ring entrance is 2 minutes, minimum. I know this since I always fast forward through it. It's the most ridiculous thing to watch people mark out over a guy spitting water.
So I found out today that TNA is having Slammiversary at The Palace of Auburn Hills in June. That place holds over 20,000 people. The listing I saw said tickets start at $7, but even then, how empty do you think it's going to be?
[quote name='bornrunnin31']So I found out today that TNA is having Slammiversary at The Palace of Auburn Hills in June. That place holds over 20,000 people. The listing I saw said tickets start at $7, but even then, how empty do you think it's going to be?[/QUOTE]
You missed the hilarious part. The high-end price is 150 DOLLARS. And even then the next level down is 100 bucks, and then 75 from there. Who the are they kidding? I was mildly interested in going just for the hell of it, when I went to Bound For Glory a few years back (admittedly at a much smaller arena) it was like 30 bucks for pretty decent seats.
This is laughable though, especially because they're going to have to tarp off the entire upper bowl.
It was the third Slammiversary show, apparently, but it was their 5th anniversary and the "V" in the logo was huge - so I figured it was their fifth PPV of that type.
[quote name='neocisco']HHH's ring entrance is 2 minutes, minimum. I know this since I always fast forward through it. It's the most ridiculous thing to watch people mark out over a guy spitting water.[/quote]
Put some food coloring in it?
A question I've always had and brought up by the Cornette rant (which I, frankly, completely agree with, as much as it pains me)... when exactly did the shift to completely scripted occur, Attitude era or after?
I've always just assumed that Rock/Austin were still in the time of 'say whatever you want, just get the gist across', but I've never been certain.
It does make me sad how much I agree with Cornette on that stuff. The hypocritical TNA stuff aside, it just brought up something that was already mentioned in this thread by myke... I haven't watched an entire weekly wrestling show in a decade. The last PPV I ordered was WM20 (and that was only to see Benoit win... I hadn't watched wrestling for years prior to that). Point is... I hate what it's become. I *want* to be a wrestling fan. I *want* to be excited to watch it every week just like I was a decade ago. I *want* to give a shit about what's happening. Now, most of my wrestling exposure is videogames, website news, old DVDs, and this thread.
The fact that I still keep up with it even though I don't watch it speaks volumes for how much I still want to be a fan. Hell, I'm going to drop close to $300 on a replica belt soon. Yet, WWE and TNA have completely given me zero reason to give a shit. I have no real ending to this rant, just a reiteration of the gist:
I *want* to be a wrestling fan with every fiber of my being, but they've made it impossible for me to do that, given the current product. I can't help but feel that this thread is populated by people that feel the exact same way.
The internet killed pro wrestling. It's so hard to watch these days without having everything spoiled weeks in advance or thinking "oh, HHH is going to win because he's the boss's son-in-law".
I missed the days when someone from NWA would show up in WWF and vice versa and you had no idea it was happening until you saw it. Information overload. I despise spoilers to the point that I don't even watch movie trailers anymore.
[quote name='007']A question I've always had and brought up by the Cornette rant (which I, frankly, completely agree with, as much as it pains me)... when exactly did the shift to completely scripted occur, Attitude era or after?
I've always just assumed that Rock/Austin were still in the time of 'say whatever you want, just get the gist across', but I've never been certain.[/QUOTE]
The Austin 3:16 moment is the precise example of what a writer can NEVER script, what a writer can NEVER give you, and what a subpar actor could NEVER make believable.
And it's a classic. Where would Austin be without this promo? One promo doesn't mean he'd have remained a nobody, of course - but in the history of what Steve Austin did in changing this business, this is the moment it began. Sure, winning KOTR is a push, but let's be fair - the push alone doesn't matter (see Gunn, Billy).
Wrestlers often talk about the "being given the ball" metaphor. All wrestlers, we're led to believe, are "given the ball" at some point. Most sink, few swim.
But I look at this promo - this promo specifically - very often. I watch it, and I think to myself what it might have looked like if Austin was given a verbatim script to go off of, instead of bullet points to hit on. Would it have been anywhere as legendary, as meaningful, as powerful?
Not every powerful promo has to have a deeply personal dig (like going after Jake's alcoholism, or making a Terry Gordy is dead reference), but the question I have to ask is this: what was the most recent promo you saw that made you believe? That made you want to see someone discover a victory, overcome adversity, gain revenge - anything? What was the last promo that moved you - even just a little bit - to cheer or boo someone? What inspired you to buy that most recent ticket to a WWE show or order a TNA PPV?
Focusing solely on wrestling shows on real channels - so ROH and FCW don't count.
The match is good, but also pay attention to the mic skills of Eric Escobar - their champion, and the guy who is often refereed to as the most likely guy to be brought up to WWE from their developmental territory. He is exactly what Cornette rails against. He tries to do commentary on his own and talk, but he's not just bad, he makes me feel sorry for the guy.
He's so bad on the mic, he couldn't sell me a free steak dinner and handjob combo.
Couldn't tell you exactly what promo it was that made me want to see a match, but chances are it was one of Foley's. Probably during his feud with Edge.
Foley/Edge from right before Foley left comes to mind as the best face to face segment of the last few years.
One person who I can't really believe when he speaks is Sting. He has a weird habit of beginning and ending every sentence with the name of the person he's speaking to.
I had to Google who the hell "Eldridge Coleman" was, but I soon understood why he went by "Superstar" Billy Graham. Can they really stop him from using the "Billy Graham" name if he's been using it for 30 years?
Promos sucks now. It's really cool to hear how the crowd reacts when he says " Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass " and then know the result of that. It's a shame to look at professional wrestling nowadays and see how unnatural the guys look and act. Guys like CM Punk, I really used to love his work, particularly the infamous "This is Straighedge" promo. I really used to believe in him. But look at him now. He was Goldberg'd out of the main event even though he had the strap, he just doesn't nearly live up to that promo, he's just a joke.
Besides Scott Steiner's so-bad-they're-good promos, the last that held my attention (that I can recall) was Michael Hayes a couple years ago on SD. I remember thinking then that every person in the back who had less than 10 years experience had better be paying rapt attention to a monitor somewhere.
The last promo(if you wanna call it that) I remember really caring about was the Ric Flair/Eric Bischoff(?) face off on WCW Nitro. I couldn't believe what i was seeing on tv. I didn't keeping up with wrestling news at the time, so I didn't know about the tension between the two. As a kid, I never liked Flair(with him being the bad guy & all). But the older I got the more I appreciated what he did for wrestling. He could sell a promo like no other.
I still watch wrestling from time to time, but not like I used to. I used to flip back & forth to Nitro and RAW every Monday night. Since WCW sold out, wrestling hasn't been the same. TNA has its moments, but they are nowhere near being able to compete with WWE. They(TNA) had a chance to be different, but over time have become a watered down version of WWE. Like some of you have said, wrestlers seen lifeless during these 10-15(and sometimes longer) promos. I yearn for the days of good 'ol wrestling.
Flair's almost always had amazing promos. It's hard to hold everyone to the standard he sets. But let's compare the Nature Boy with his self-indulged heir apparent. Perfectly enough, we're just coming off an angle where HHH had a "family" involved, so it's appropriate, perhaps, to compare that promo with the buildup to Wrestlemania 25.
**Referring to Triple H Promo **Something notable about that video, it includes more footage just explaiing what happened than an actual promo. I think that's part of the problem. Triple H, to me, looked too tough and unemotional. Randy was obviously not speaking for his head, he never osunds like it to me. The entire thing went down like some sort a cheesy movie, similar to that of the JBL -Cena car incident. The Flair video was beautiful, it seemed so real, everything went together perfectly.
I lol'd when Scott Steiner said WCW Sucks then he said he's gonna stay right in the NWO 4 Life. Also, I'm assuming roid rage is now part of Steiner's gimmick...
The great thing is that isn't bad at all when he's really trying. A few weeks back he was trying to convince Jarrett to join MEM by appealing to their long-term friendship, making references to his wife (in an appropriate manner) and reminding Jeff how much his girls like Scott. It was very humanizing and very well done, particularly when compared to the rant-n-rave Steiner that we all love.
so I clicked the link and decided to read up on ole Yoshi and found this:
[quote name='Wikipedia']Since parting ways with WWE, Tajiri resurfaced full-scale in his homeland, competing primarily for Hustle and All-Japan Pro Wrestling as Tajiri. In the Hustle promotion, he was originally aligned with the babyface Hustle Army, a group who defends the sport of professional wrestling against the Monster Army (led by Monster General and Monster K, who aim to destroy the sport). However, he was hypnotised by Yinling into joining the Monster Army.[/QUOTE]
The more you read about Hustle, the less sense it makes and the more awesome it is.
Yinling also appears for the professional wrestling promotion Hustle, a venture led by Nobuhiko Takada. She originally appeared under the heel alias Yinling the Erotic Terrorist, but now appears as a face, under the name Newling-sama (i.e., 'Mistress Newling'). She was "killed off" of the promotion when she was (kayfabe) shot by a fictitious laser beam wielded by The Esperanza during a wrestling match. However, she re-emerged under her evil Yinling persona, and has recently given birth to Monster Bono, after been hit by The Great Muta's Green mist in the genitals. She was, again, killed off from the Promotion, during a match with her own (kayfabe) son, Monster Bono. She Let him win, but he "Crushed" her with all his weight while Pinning Her.
So Muta sprayed her in the snizz with his mist, and she gave birth to Akebono. After she returned from being killed.
:shock:
See, this is what I want. If you want to make up stories and be a "movie company," then go hog-wild. This half-ass stuff has got to go. If it's going to be scripted, make it the dumbest shit imaginable. This you can't even begin to take seriously - except for the fact that virtually all of the highly regarded Japanese wrestlers of the 80s and 90s have been in the promotion at some point. It's not like I'd watch Hustle for the storylines - any more than I would watch a Toho Godzilla film for the plot of Kaiju Big Battel for the scripted tension. Doesn't mean I can't enjoy it, but self-parody has to be self-aware or else you just feel sorry for it.
World Wrestling Entertainment is an Entertainment company, myke. Sports Entertainment. I agree with you, if they truly belive in Sports Entertainment then why not just throw out the rulebook? Just put the most ridiculous shit on TV inside of a wrestling ring.
Reading that reminds me how much Wikipedia annoys me by editing every wrestling related entry to dumb down the terminology for the average reader. I feel stupider by reading "Randy Orton grabbed Rey Mysterio's head in a three quarter facelock, turned, and dropped to the ground in a move referred to as the RKO. He then pinned his shoulders to the mat for a count of three, resulting in Orton winning the predetermined match."
Really good, funny show this week. The Guns vs. Suicide and GO RED GO! was fantastic, and the best Guns match on Impact since their one against Speed Muscle. Like that one, this featured a ton of fast action and fairly innovative spots that reminded me of how good the X division used to be. It being a tourney match didn't seem to mean much, but 3D's title wins being listed in the background of the pre-match graphic is a nice touch. The deal with the Guns and Daniels was hilarious thanks to their jokes, the crowd cheering for them, and DW explaining the logic behind it, while Tenay just denied it all for no good reason.
ODB's new hair rules, and Velvet's new rack is...something. I thought she looked just fine without the implants, but at least they fit this gimmick pretty well. TNA did a better job of logically explaining Cody Deaner's attire and weapons than 90% of the feuds they've promoted over the past three years. His match was hilarious, and he took the Black Hole Slam better than anyone has in forever.
The British Invasion vs. Homicide match was decent - it was a good way to write Hernandez off for a while while building up a new group and making Homicide look like a threat at the same time. I doubt that'll go anywhere, but if they do anything with it, unfortunately. The stretcher match was a blast and saw Kong once again look like a world-beater. DW was hilarious at the end begging the ref to just end it and acting offended when he didn't, which only helped to rebuild Kong as the dominant knockout. The ten count rule for the stretcher match is much better than WWE's silly "cross the finish line" version of it, which tends to take me right out of the match due to how ludicrous it is.
I loved the final segment - it furthered the issue with Foley losing his mind, and in wonderful fashion, as he teased Lashley demolishing Kurt and delivered... SOCKO, one of TNA's more recognizable stars. While I loved that, my favorite part was him manning up only to ask that Angle not hit his right eye or "this quadrant right here", or the rest of his face. Foley ruled here, and the Sting reveal at the end was pretty cool. I was expecting Steiner, and would have been happy with that, but got Sting, which made me happier. Pretty productive show, although not one that made me more interested in buying the PPV.
Screens -
ing ow
Just in case you forgot, JEFF JARRETT IS THE TNA FOUNDER! -
Quotes -
Tenay - I’VE GOTTA THINK THAT BOBBY LASHLEY HAS SOME KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH KURT ANGLE!
Tenay - HERE’S BIG NEWS! TNA HAS NEGOTIATED AND SIGNED AND FINALIZED A THREE YEAR CONTRACT WITH A FORMER CHAMPION! ALL THE DETAILS IN ONE PLACE - TNA MOBILE!
DW - I’M SO SICK OF SUICIDE’S ACT!
Lauren - Dr. Stevie has “prescribed” you to wrestle in a match where you can’t use weapons but your opponent can, do you want me to attend another therapy session!?
(to Foley)Shelley - Suicide may have stolen my X Division title illegally, and most importantly, he’s preventing tag team wrestling from being presented at its finest and sexiest by the Motor City Machine Guns.
Foley - You wanna know who Suicide is?
Shelley - YOU KNOW!?
Foley - It’s… Al Snow. We haven’t seen him since that one show. Looks like Al Snow.
(after the British Invasion is shown over Herandez’s body)Tenay - IT’S CLEAR TO ME THAT THEY’VE LAID OUT SUPERMEX!
DW - WE DON’T HAVE ANY PROOF OF THAT! I don’t think we’ve seen these guys do this - let’s get some more information on this before we just start throwing their names around.
(after Kong hits the Awesome Bomb and the crowd chants “one more time”)DW - THE PEOPLE ARE CHANTING ONE MORE TIME! HAVE SOME DECENCY! I CAN’T BELIEVE SOME OF THE SICK PEOPLE THEY LET IN HERE!
Shelley - WE’VE GOT SOMEBODY TO CALL OUT! CHRISTOPHER DANIELS, SUICIDE, put one foot in front of the other and GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!
DW - BINGO!
Tenay - HE JUST CAME BACK TO TNA!
DW - IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!
Tenay - HE’S CONFUSED BY THEIR CLAIM!
DW - HE TOOK ACTING CLASSES!
Shelley - What’s the matter? You develop a fear of heights - no zip line? Let’s look at the fact - 18 months ago, you lost your job!
DW - GOOD POINT!
Shelley - Since then, you’ve been in indy wrestling purgatory working in VFW halls and getting paid in pizza and Japanese wrestling t-shirts. THOSE DON’T PAY THE BILLS, DO THEY!? You have a wife and two kids at home who play with OUR ACTION FIGURES!
Sabin - That’s what we know, but that’s not all we know. My partner and I are as smart as we look. The time has come for us to ask you a few questions. Daniels, why is it that you and Suicide have the same build? THAT ASS IS UNMISTAKABLE! Why is it that you and Suicide move te same way in the ring? Strange, huh? Now Daniels, why is it that every time Suicide comes from God knows where, all these people chant your name!? NOW DANIELS, IN CASE YOU CAN’T TELL, THOSE ARE ALL RHETORICAL QUESTIONS! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A LOW-DOWN, DIRTY, STINKING LIAR! YOU’RE SUICIDE! YOU’VE BEEN SUICIDE SINCE DAY ONE! ALL YOU DID WAS FIND A LOOPHOLE AND STEAL MY PARTNER’S X DIVISION TITLE!
DW - HE’S GOT A GREAT POINT - I’VE NEVER SEEN DANIELS AND SUICIDE IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME! Tell the world that you are Suicide! (Sabin bops him with the mic)
Shelley - He already has a mic…
Sabin - I just wanted to hit him.
(guy in crowd) - HAIL SABIN!
Daniels - I don’t owe you an explanation, or you, backup, an explanation.
DW - CONVENIENT!
Daniels - THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT JEFF JARRETT BROUGHT ME BACK INTO TNA! CHRIS, BACK UP OR I’LL BREAK YOUR FACE! HE BROUGHT ME BACK AND KNOW THAT I’M HERE, I’M GONNA DO WHAT I DO BEST AND THAT’S WRESTLE! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR VIDEO GAMES, MASKS, OR REPELLING! YOU WANNA KNOW WHO SUICIDE IS!? YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF!
Shelley - All right, how about I ask him - let’s ask one more rhetorical question. WHO ARE YOU, SUICIDE!?
Daniels - I’M DANIELS! AND NOW I’M PISSED OFF!
(on Deaner)DW - Look at his knee pads - THEY’RE HELD UP BY DUCT TAPE!
Tenay - He found some old knee pads in the dumpster out back.
Tenay - HE’S GOT HIM BY THE MULLET!
Tenay - HE’S REACHING INTO THE FANNY PACK… HE’S GOT A WRENCH!
DW - …and why not…?
Tenay - HE GOT IT FROM THE TOOL BOX IN HIS TRUCK THAT’S PARKED OUTSIDE THE IMPACT ZONE!
Tenay - WHAT SITCOM STAR DID JEFF JARRETT HIT WITH HIS GUITAR!? If you wanna know the answer, go to just one place - ASK.COM!
Foley - Brother, you’ve headlined WrestleMania. Before I go to bat for you, you gotta help me out. Under normal circumstances, I’d do it, but I’ve got 25 stitcheroonies! When Angle comes in and says “NOW”, you pop out, okay?
Foley - Hit me…in the back…with a chair…NOW! and we’re even.
Angle - Okay, where’s a chair…
Foley - Here…(show him a cushy office chair)
Angle - No, it’s not a steel chair!
Foley - Okay, take Jeff’s guitar. TO THE BACK!
Angle - Head!
Foley - Okay, just avoid the 25 big ones…and this quadrant right here. The whole left side, and here too. Wait, that’s kinda Jeff’s thing… lemme make a call and get a chair here in less than 30 seconds. (Foley then hits Angle with his phone and reaches into the closet and finds socko and beats up Angle)
SD Thoughts -
That was a really good show overall. The opening segment firmly established Punk as a top-level guy on the show, as opposed to being just another warm body on Raw, and it set up not only the four way, but also the Punk-Edge main event and made the World title and the MITB case seem meaningful. Very impressive mic work from all involved, and it was an efficient use of time.
Morrison vs. Shelton was as well - despite only lasting a few minutes, they got over Shelton as the "best pure athlete in WWE", let him shine with the awesome front kick, J.R. made a basic one-on-one match seem like a major event for the first time in a while due to the athletic prowess of each man, and helped establish Morrison as a higher-level guy than he was on Raw (and beating stiffer competition than he faced on ECW). Shelton wasn't hurt by the loss to me - he provided the most memorable moment of the match with that awesome kick, and the energetic finish made it seem like either man could have won with the right move. It just so happens that Morrison hit it before Shelton could.
The four way was an excellent match that did a wonderful job of protecting Jericho by having him lose via DQ and made him look like an uber-dick by stealing a pin just so he could be the one who eliminated Kane, who himself was protected by attacking Jericho afterwards and going on a little rampage of his own due to it. Once the match was down to just Rey, the chair-battered underdog, and Jeff, the daredevil high-flyer, things really got moving. I don't recall these two having a match together before, but man did this ever make me want to see them have a proper one. Their styles meshed perfectly, and the cradle-heavy portion of things was exciting and set up the finish very well, as one last cradle got the job done. Excellent match that made everyone look strong and re-established Jeff as a main event-level guy on SD after a month of losses.
Then things fell off a cliff with the dance-off, which I'm sure worked at giving the crowd a chance to breathe after the 4-way, but dragged on the show. MVP vs. Ziggler was pretty good, and having never seen Sherri before, she certainly made a memorable impression by being so damned excited about everything. I have to question the wisdom of having Dolph job to a guy he now can't beat since MVP will be staying on SD, but I'm sure he'll be okay. MVP came off like a bigger deal thanks to the mainstream-related aspect of things than he ever has before.
The main event between Punk and Edge was their usual really good match. I especially dug the reverse tree of woe>dropkick spot, and the clean finish was a nice surprise. The callback to Punk winning the title last year, only to have Umaga come in and prevent him from achieving his dream again was good, and sets Umaga up for ready-made feuds with Punk, who he can probably work really well with, and with Jeff who made the save, who he's had great matches with in the past.
Quotes -
Edge - There’s no greater feeling than walking into the WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS ARENA…the Air Canada Center in Toronto, Canada and knowing that you’re better than everyone else. Take your big speeches with your vocabulary words and you can SCRAP THEM because SmackDown isn’t yours to take - it belongs to me!
(to Edge)Punk - You probably remember me from such awesome moments as this! (clip airs of Punk beating Edge for the title)
J.R. - Shelton is perhaps the best pure athlete in WWE, but John Morrison wants to debate that claim, and the best thing is we’re gonna see it for ourselves when the bell rings.
Grisham - John Morrison, the Shaman of Sexy…do you know what that means, J.R.?
J.R. - I’m looking it up right now. I’ve got a thesaurus here with me…
(after Morrison does a dropsault)Grisham - I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that!
(after Kane is eliminated and goes on a mini-rampage)J.R. - Kane is seeing evil, feeling evil, and doling out evil!
(after a Rey-Jeff near fall)Grisham - THAT WAS CLOSER THAN 2 PAGES OF A BOOK!
Lance Storm posted a new article and its much better than Jim Cornette's
Wrestling Rules
May 1, 2009
I’ve been on a bit of a rant of late. Any of you who listen to my regular bi-weekly radio shows on the Wrestling Observer / Figure 4 Weekly website should be well aware of this, and I’m getting close to the end of my rope. Last week’s Impact show was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back for me and the way in which that show, (and at times WWE programming) treats this business as a joke, has just got me fed up.
I’m tired of stupid sit-com booking, I’m tired of back stage skits, idiotic stipulations, unbelievable and unrealistic characters, inconsistent and contradictory angles, and the destruction and the devaluation of titles, match stipulations, and to be honest the over all importance of winning or losing a wrestling match. I think, with the exception of a select few, those in charge of booking/writing wrestling today have completely lost sight of what this business is based on and supposed to be.
Maybe I’m just too old and bitter but I don’t think so. The last time I checked this was still the WRESTLING business. The foundation of RAW, SmackDown, ROH, ECW, and TNA is still professional wrestling. We’ve admitted the industry is entertainment based but programs themselves are still supposed to be presented as if they were REAL. Fans are still supposed to care about, either positively or negatively, the competitors involved. Those competitors can have colourful characters and personalities in order to be more entertaining, but they are still supposed to be realistic enough and consistent enough for us to believe in them and become emotionally attached to them. And this more importantly than anything else, the wrestling matches, and the results of those wrestling matches are supposed to be IMPORTANT to everyone, fans and wrestlers alike.
To help restore my sanity I’m going to write Wrestling Rules, this week. A virtual Booking for Dummies that I think the writers and bookers of this industry would be well served to observe. This would be the guide I would use if I had creative input or control in any current wrestling company.
The World Title means EVERYTHING: This applies to all titles really but the World Title has to be the main focus of the company. Credibility needs to be restored to the Titles. Titles can not be flip flopped all over the place. Fans need to be able to follow title lineage, and any time the title changes hands it needs to be a significant event. The World Title should only be defended in a 1 on 1 match. You could argue for 3 ways but in that event they need to be elimination so the best man wins and the former champ is always beaten to lose the title. The World Title means you are the best individual wrestler in the company and it should never be on the line in a match where other factors or other people can play a major role in determining who the best is.
Champions do not Lose Matches: If a Champions gets beat what exactly is he champion of. Unless they are getting beat in a non title match that will lead directly to a title shot, the Champion has to go over. If he does lose a non-title match the loss has to be treated like a big deal and lead to something. If you can’t put the champion over in the match DON’T book it. The only exception to this rule is tag team champions getting beat in a singles match, or a singles champ getting beat in a tag match but even that should not be done too often and should lead to something.
Simplify the Product: Not every match needs to have an angle. Wrestlers are professional fighters they can be booked in matches just because it is their job. The angle or motivation for the match is that if they win they make more money and if they win enough they get a title shot. Simple angles can be spun from matches and their results, not everything needs to be a storyline. Fewer segments and focusing on one or two main angles per show will make for a far more effective and memorable program.
Gimmick and Stipulation Matches should never be done COLD: Throwing cage matches, ladder matches, 3 way matches, stretcher matches, etc. out there cold with no build or angle is… in a word WRONG. These matches are supposed to be special and mean something and if they are done for no reason with out any build, no one cares and their value is lost. A prime example of this was the So Jo Bolt – Taylor Wilde match on Impact last week. There was absolutely no reason for that match to be a ladder match. There was no heat or angle building to it, there was no promotion of it in hopes of drawing with it, and there was no time or importance given to it, so it was a pointless 3 minute match that sucked. Those two would have had a better match with out the ladder and fans wouldn’t have had to see a short boring ladder match which only served to kill the value of future ladder matches. Throwing gimmicks and stipulations everywhere on a show in hopes of drawing ratings only waters down their effectiveness, which leads to needing more gimmicks and stipulations in the future, which is a never ending downward spiral that is killing this business. I like to call this the Russo-Effect.
Bring back Managers and Valets: I’m not sure when the people in this industry decided to stop using managers and valets but it was a huge mistake. Some of the greatest money feuds in this business featured managers and valets. I large portion of the Hogan era was Hulk Hogan feuding with Bobby Heenan and his henchmen. Even the Austin era was largely fueled by Vince McMahon who was for the most part a manager type character. The only explanation I’ve ever heard for doing away with managers was that because they did all the talking they got all the heat and the heat needs to be with the wrestler. To this I ask, WHY? Why does all the heat need to be with the wrestler? Is it not more important to just have heat somewhere? There are a lot of workers held back because they can’t talk, and talkers held back because they don’t have the ability or the body. Let’s start pairing the talkers and the workers and as long as they get heat as a unit, everyone wins. Santino Morella needs to be a manager. Let him get heat by running his mouth and then have him hide behind a Mike Knox, or a Charlie Hass. Remember Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman! Now on to Valets. Not every girl needs to be having wrestling matches, and throwing 10 of them out there in 3 minute tag matches servers no purpose what so ever. Valets, like Managers can differentiate and help liven up the individual male talent on the roster. Dawn Marie made me who I was in ECW. She gave me depth and character that I never could have developed on my own. Take the girls who look the part and have the personality and pair them with guys who need an extra something to stand out. You can still keep the Women’s division alive, just do it with the girls who can work.
Maintain Company Integrity: Bookers need to remember that the company is a business entity and needs to be presented like it is both competent and professional. The Company as a whole can not be involved in any comedy bullshit. This is likely my biggest TNA pet peeve, and was also a big concern of mine in WCW (this could be the Russo Effect version 2.0) Matches that are booked and presented have to be something that makes business sense to the company. We can’t have blow up dolls on a pole, plastic Santas as weapons, guys playing on pogo sticks during matches, production crews visiting the “Deep Blue Sea” to interview the Shark family. The over all product, can not be presented as a joke, you can do comedy and have comedic characters but you can’t “Cross the Line” and let the company as a whole come off like a joke. There needs to be structure and knowledge behind the product, management has to be in control, if they are not it hurts the product and also opens up endless plot holes and storyline inconsistencies.
Reduce Scripting of Promos: Guys need to be allowed to come into their own, and find themselves. Too tightly scripting everything dulls individual creativity and will greatly decrease the likely hood of anyone breaking out. Leave the under neither and mid card guys alone somewhat and let them find their own way. When you book and script a guy to be a 2 minute undercard promo that is all he is ever going to be and no one will ever break through and become a star. Finding new Main Event stars is a real issue today and unless guys are allowed to develop themselves and create their own personality they are never going to get good enough to break out of that 2 minute cookie cutting promo that is keeping them in the mid card. Guide and nurture, but don’t out right script. Tell wrestler A the day or week before that he will have a 2 minute promo to cut on Wrestler B and see what he comes up with. Austin 3:16 wasn’t scripted, it just happened.
Well that’s my take, 7 simple rules to follow when presenting pro-wrestling. They are broken all the time in this industry yet I don’t see how anyone could possible argue that the wrestling business wouldn’t be a whole lot better off if they weren’t.
I don't think Lance Storm should be let anywhere near a book, given his career trajectory. But as an agent, or as a booking editor? Sure. He has some good rules to follow, sure. But does he have any creative ideas to insert into the rule framework he lays out? His persona never seemed to convey to me that he'd be any good with a book.
Vince McMahon said that WWE is looking into creating a Wednesday night TV program. He feels that it would not be overexposure due to the huge number of TV stations available & that being on TV every weeknight would make it easier for the fans to follow along with the storylines or catch up if they miss any of the TV shows.
Vince McMahon partially blamed the decline of pay-per-view buys on more fans choosing to watch pay-per-views with each other rather than individually ordering the pay-per-views.
Surely nobody watched PPVs together back when wrestling was go---, I mean long ago.
Also, on Lance Storm, I didn't read the article, but I've noticed that some of the most vocal members of the wrestling community never really got huge. I'd more so like to know how the Rock or Stone Cold feels about these issues, not Raven or Lance Storm.
As far as gimmicks goes, I use to love these types of deals. Almost anything they put Mae Young in is hilarious. As you stated earlier....WWE might as well go all out. Thats what made it so fun in the 90's even w/o the WCW feud.
ed up his knee in a Scaffold match at Starrcade 86
