Slick's Wrestling Thread

Bring back Managers and Valets: I’m not sure when the people in this industry decided to stop using managers and valets but it was a huge mistake. Some of the greatest money feuds in this business featured managers and valets. I large portion of the Hogan era was Hulk Hogan feuding with Bobby Heenan and his henchmen. Even the Austin era was largely fueled by Vince McMahon who was for the most part a manager type character. The only explanation I’ve ever heard for doing away with managers was that because they did all the talking they got all the heat and the heat needs to be with the wrestler. To this I ask, WHY? Why does all the heat need to be with the wrestler? Is it not more important to just have heat somewhere? There are a lot of workers held back because they can’t talk, and talkers held back because they don’t have the ability or the body. Let’s start pairing the talkers and the workers and as long as they get heat as a unit, everyone wins. Santino Morella needs to be a manager. Let him get heat by running his mouth and then have him hide behind a Mike Knox, or a Charlie Hass. Remember Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman! Now on to Valets. Not every girl needs to be having wrestling matches, and throwing 10 of them out there in 3 minute tag matches servers no purpose what so ever. Valets, like Managers can differentiate and help liven up the individual male talent on the roster. Dawn Marie made me who I was in ECW. She gave me depth and character that I never could have developed on my own. Take the girls who look the part and have the personality and pair them with guys who need an extra something to stand out. You can still keep the Women’s division alive, just do it with the girls who can work.
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Thank you, Lance Storm. :applause:
 
Storm's rules for the champions are a bit too strict, but other than that he's fairly spot-on.

While I agree that titles mean almost nothing now due to the frequent changes, I can't go with the entire 'always one on one' thing. Sometimes, multi-man matches work and, like the WM match with Jericho/Benoit/Angle, the champion NOT being pinned can work very nicely. His stipulations leave no room for the 'wormy heel' character, like Edge. He's been misused constantly, but having a character steal titles works, if done well.

I really, really, really, really do agree with him on the stupid fucking 'champion loses a non-title match' thing. I really, truly fucking hate that. It's never made sense, yet they do it constantly.

... getting back to part of the Cornette thing, in conjunction with this... who on the roster still gets to do their own material? The assumption I make is that the older generation like HHH, Taker, and HBK do, but what about others? After those four, I've basically come up with... Jericho. That's about it.

On that note, last time I cared about promos? When Jericho talks. Specifically, the HBK/Jericho feud.
 
[quote name='pitfallharry219']What can I say, I'm a mark for him.

In other news, from the WWE Shareholder meeting:



:facepalm:

[/quote]

The only thing I could see them doing is possibly a one-hour all-women's show. I'd give that a chance. Other than that, it would be Heat 2.0.
 
Surely nobody watched PPVs together back when wrestling was go---, I mean long ago.

Also, on Lance Storm, I didn't read the article, but I've noticed that some of the most vocal members of the wrestling community never really got huge. I'd like to know how the Rock or Stone Cold feels about these issues, not Raven or Lance Storm.
 
[quote name='pitfallharry219']What can I say, I'm a mark for him.

In other news, from the WWE Shareholder meeting:[/quote]

A Wednesday show? He's deluding himself. Superstars is a placemarker for Smackdown that will be mutually beneficial to WGN once My Network TV dies. Superstars will be dead, MNTV will be dead, and Smackdown will be on WGN by October.

It's funny that he thinks fans need MORE programming to help develop storylines. Evidently, showing the same clip two dozen times over five hours of weekly programming isn't enough to help sink in the feuds in his eyes.

What did Randy Orton do to Triple H again? He stole his car or something, right? Or he ran over Vince McMahon and claimed he "did it for his people." Isn't that it? I haven't seen the 50 replays of the feud this week, so I'm not caught up. I wish there was a show on Wednesdays so they could show Orton attacking everybody on earth named "McMahon" 10 more times. It doesn't sink into my skull until I've seen it 60 times a week. 50 isn't enough.

This is a new excuse. I figured he'd blame the economy.
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Remember a giant post I made a few weeks ago about Vince being the king of post-hoc justifications? Here y'go. $50 shitshows every 4 weeks declining in sales don't indicate fans being sick to death of them, they're hanging out at each others' house now!
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Remember a giant post I made a few weeks ago about Vince being the king of post-hoc justifications? Here y'go. $50 shitshows every 4 weeks declining in sales don't indicate fans being sick to death of them, they're hanging out at each others' house now![/QUOTE]

Or going to bars that carry PPVs.

Or watching it on Justin.tv for that matter.
 
Oustide the lame Cryme Tyme segment, I actually enjoyed Smackdown! this week. Like honestly enjoyed a WWE product :shock:

The Smackdown! roster is easily my favorite since the 2003 iteration. Easily miles ahead of the Raw brand.

Now as long as they stay far, far, far away from crappy angles I'll be happy.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']But come on neocisco... Rant'n'Rave Steiner has delievered some of the best speeches we have ever heard in the history of this sport.[/quote]


Can anyone find that political debate that Steiner had on Raw about 9-11 and the Iraq war? I can barely find any site that even mentions it. I know I didn't dream it up because there are small clips in this video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqT0quOMMBU
 
How come nobody talks bout Sid no more? I like him.

Also, anybody notice that Brock Samson from venture brothers looks exactly like Sid?
 
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The best thing ever was back in WCW when Tank Abbott pulled a knife on live TV to a wrestler named Big Al and said " I could fucking kill you right now!" The video used to be on Youtube but it was removed.

But yeah WWE is so watered down and bland right now I can barely stomache it. They have guys who have no clue about wrestling writting stupid ass storylines and promos. Not to mention it seems like the same guys keep on fueding over and over with bland ass storylines. I'm glad we have TNA, Main Event Mafia is the shit and can go places. Imagine Flair joining up with that.
 
I watched some "vintage" WCW last night. I don't know what I was watching back in 2000 when Jarrett laid down for Hogan as opposed to wrestling against him but damn was it ever awkward. I hope someday to be able to download a bunch of episodes of Nitro and compare the earlier, good years with the later, pants-on-head retarded years.
 
Wow.... I never thought we'd see a WWE official Macho Man DVD.

With that said this post was brought to you by....

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[quote name='Demolition Man']
12411391669449009046.gif
[/QUOTE]
That could have been the most glorious trick ever executed. :cry:
 
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[quote name='mykevermin']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQb9ZSKVHYg[/QUOTE]

Will be very interesting to see what lengths they go to while promoting this. Often they'll bring a non-active guy back briefly if they've got a book or DVD to sell. I don't see that happening here obviously but I can always dream. The fact the DVD exists in the first place is surprising enough.
 
[quote name='neocisco']I saw his tag match with Batista on SD. I didn't remember him being so bad. Vince should send him to FCW.[/QUOTE]

:rofl: at Shane being sent to FCW. That would be the cat's pajamas.
 
I'm glad I have a shit-ton of work to do tonight.

On the other hand, I think that I really enjoy overhearing when WWE is showing an abortion on live television. Much more than watching it, at any rate.
 
When the fuck is Shane going to break his neck so he can stop pretending to be a wrestler? Uggh.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Still a thousand shades of fuckin' ridiculous to say.[/QUOTE]
He's got a point, though...
 
[quote name='Brak']He's got a point, though...[/QUOTE]

Not that it was supposed to be intelligent regardless. :lol:

I do apologize for being silly with the name.
 
Triple H massacres 5 million viewers every week.

But that's hardly comparable to the real thing.

EDIT: As I was doing the dishes and prepping the coffeemaker for tomorrow morning, I was thinking about the old front-row ECW assholes. I thought of the "Cane Dewey" guy, and how that led to such an intense, passionate promo from Foley.

I'd like to see Orton cut a promo threatening to RKO Little H - or whatever his kid's name is.
 
Mixed bag of a show. Shane being all over it bugged me, but was at least good for providing a ton of unintended comedy - like Cole saying that 16,000+ bought tickets to see him face Orton or asking what it meant to Shane when the match was made a 3-on-1 handicap match, which led to me thinking "that just slightly reduces his chances of winning". It's worth noting that he dominated them NUMEROUS TIMES in this match AND lasted forever against three men. At least he got destroyed at the end of the show by Legacy, and while I was annoyed when he threw all the Legacy members to the floor, it did set up the show-closing angle, so it was at least purposeful. Although WWE's got their work cut out for them in the editing room, as the steps missed Shane's foot. They'll probably just verbally reference the steps and stick to showing the chairshot in videos because that was embarrassing.

The matches to build up the main event were perfectly fine, but largely forgettable except for Regal's awesome commentary during the MVP-Cody match which, combined with his creepy glare at MVP after his attack, made me excited to (hopefully) see them have a match at the PPV for the U.S. belt. Lawler was also pretty good tonight, especially when he was doing the classic heel announcer schtick with Matt's cast, and the amusing Mickie James/foot-longs jokes during the JARED THE SUBWAY GUY PRESENTS diva match.

The Miz/Cena/Show thing ruled in every way. It featured the best mic work from the Miz by far, and was incredibly intense - and not totally goofy either like most of his other stuff over the past year. Very impressive work on his part, and it dovetailed nicely into Cena coming out and getting destroyed by Show setting up their match - another PPV match I'm looking forward to seeing.

After this is when the show's quality took a nosedive, with the Jared deal happening, and Shane being brought up more than usual. Thank God for Maryse and the awesome-looking ending to Carlito-Kendrick. And the promise of Shane being off TV for a while, too.

Screens -





Newest Fabulous One


Show breaks his back...


...and makes him HUMBLE!






Quotes -
Cole - Welcome to the most-watched show on cable television. Tonight, 16,352 fans are waiting for SHANE vs. Orton.
Lawler - Matt’s in excruciating pain.
Cole - Was he in excruciating pain last week when he hit Goldust with the cast?
Lawler - Oh, he told me he almost passed out!
Cole - Kofi… CONTROLLED FRENZY!
(after Matt hits Kofi with the cast) Cole - BOOM BOOM BOOM FOR REAL!
Lawler - OOH, THAT HAD TO HURT…Matt’s arm bad.
(on Niagra Falls)Lawler - I went over there in a barrel last night.
Cole - You should’ve stayed there.
Cole - Put your hunger in a Nougaplex!
Santino - Santina can’t be here tonight because he has the swine flu. She got it from Vickie Guerrero. She’s a piglock!
Chavo - Are you making fun of my aunt?
Santino - Are you even related to her?
Chavo - If you want to make it here, don’t make fun of me or my family.
Santino - I apologize. Please convey this message to your aunt… WEEE OILK! WEEE! (Santino does muscle pose)
Lawler - Big Show threw Cena into a SEVEN THOUSAND WATT SEARCH LIGHT!
Vickie - Show, Cena can’t. Wrestle. You threw. Him into a 7,000 watt search light at Backlash.
Regal - I don’t like the animated intro - there’s the Miz, MVP and the moppet who isn’t even fit to compete, Mr. Kennedy, and yet I’m not in it!
Cole - Last week, MVP was BALLIN’!
Regal - What does “ballin” mean?
Regal - The Miz reminds me of…
Lawler - Kermit the Frog without the talent!
Cole - Rhodes used to wear knee pads - he doesn’t wear them is now hits bone-on-bone.
Regal - Very smart move - always hit bone-on-bone.
Cole - MVP IS BALIN’
Regal - What?
Lawler - We’re gonna have to explain “ballin’” to you, Mr. Regal.
Cole - Tonight, THE FATE OF SHANE MCMAHON rests in Batista’s hands!
King - Tonight, we’re gonna do SmackDown one better - we’re gonna have a sing-off! (fans boo)
Festus - THE SUN’LL COME UP, TOMORROW!
(after beating up Festus)Miz - Get that fat, bald virgin out of my ring! I. AM. THE. MIZ! Last week, I called out Cena and failed to come out, which tells me that he’s afraid of me. Are you sitting back there going “OH NO, THE MIZ IS GONNA CALL ME OUT AGAIN!”. Where’s your hustle, your loyalty to all your fans, your respect? YOUR SELF-RESPECT, or is that some hollow catchphrase you use to sell t-shirts with. They’re calling for ya Cena, and I challenge you again TONIGHT. If it was me and you were calling me out here, injured or not, I would step up to this ring and be…(Cena appears on screen) COME ON!YOU BOO ME?! Why? Because I’m awesome and Cena still hasn’t come out? REALLY! REALLY! HE’S STILL NOT COMING OUT! WHERE ARE YA?! ARE YA SCARED TO WALK OUT HERE, CENA!? I DON’T SEE YOU WALKING DOWN THIS RAMP! Maybe you’re trying to find your next movie script. I mailed it to the Rock - he ran out of toilet paper. Cena, you are all hype. Churned out by the WWE Machine so the kiddies have something to scream for and their cougar mothers have someone to fantasize about. I am the most talented Raw superstar there is. I AM TRYING TO PROVE IT CALLING OUT THE BIGGEST, BADDEST STAR ON RAW! YOU’RE ALWAYS SAYING YOU WANT SOME, COME GET SOME! I WANT THE WHOLE DAMN THING! COME ON! LET THE RECORD BOOKS SHOW THAT THE MIX CALLED OUT CENA AND THE MIZ BEAT CENA FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT WEEK. LET THE SCOREBOARD SHOW THE MIZ 2, CENA 0. STAND UP, LILIAN AND ANNOUNCE IT! AGAIN! YOU ARE WORTHLESS! (Cena hobbles out)
Cole - HE’S SUFFERED INTERNAL INJURIES AND WE HEARD THAT HE’S NOT CLEARED TO COMPETE UNTIL JUDGMENT DAY!
Lilian - Please welcome the guest ring announcer…JARED THE SUBWAY GUY!
Lawler - JARED THE SUBWAY GUY!
Lawler - Wouldn’t you love to share a foot-long with her?
Cole - WHAT!?
Lawler - The five dollar foot-long, always made fresh, at Subway.
Lawler - Maryse was looking at you, Michael.
Cole - Really!?
Lawler - Yes, she was dressing you with her eyes.
Cole - Tonight, we’ve got Ted DiBiase vs. Batista, WITH THE FATE OF SHANE MCMAHON really being in Batista’s hands!
Lawler - IT’S JARED FROM SUBWAY…I think Mickie gets a lifetime of foot-longs…from Subway.
Cole - I LOVE THE VIEW!
Cole - SHANE IS IN PURSUIT! (Shane runs slowly behind Orton)
(to Cody)Orton - Arm bar his leg!
 
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Jerry Lawler's "footlong" jokes were amusing?

GTFO. Third-graders scribbling poems about dicks on bathroom walls are more clever than that.

I can't wait to see the replay of Shane this week. The Legacy done *fuckED UP* his pinky toe.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Triple H massacres 5 million tag teams every week.[/QUOTE]
Fixed.
 
Orton is to steps as Shane is to punching. At least they planned ahead and had the Ted Dibiase blocks everything angle as backup
 
Who in the hell did Miz jerk off to get a Cena rub, and why did the better half of Mizorrison end up a face after being a complete douche for the last 5 years?
 
They've never tried Morrison as a face, i'm interested to see how it works. Although I fear a reunion with Melina is in the cards to further get the crowd behind him
 
[quote name='diddy310']They've never tried Morrison as a face, i'm interested to see how it works. Although I fear a reunion with Melina is in the cards to further get the crowd behind him[/quote]

I read that Melina and Morrison are back together, so who knows what that will lead to since I recall they got some heat backstage last time and it led to them being sent to different shows.
 
[quote name='Brak']The Miz is one of the few good things on RAW.[/quote]

Too bad his ring outfit isn't. Guy dresses like a clown. I kinda like Miz though. He's somewhat entertaining. They should push the hell out of Morrison though. I hope they don't forget about the guy.
 
I never thought I'd say this...

I HATED the Miz back in those lame-ass "hoo-rah" days, however his last two weeks of promos on RAW have been absolutely fantastic IMO. I still don't know about him in singles wrestling, but those promos grabbed my attention like nothing has in some time.
 
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