Raven - Rob, go smoke another bowl… (Rob attacks him)
Taz - Oh oh oh, I love it - my man Robbie.
Tenay - HEY MY DUDE, let’s take everyone back to last week’s Impact.
Taz - Everyone’s on edge backstage - this is the first Impact, technically, without DIXIE CARTER.
Tenay - To not have the presence of OUR FORMER TNA PRESIDENT, DIXIE CARTER, is strange. It’s THE TRUST FACTOR. WE KNOW WE CAN TRUST DIXIE!
Sign - I want Nookie With Cookie.
Robbie - LETHAL BRO, LOOK WHAT I JUST DID TO YOUR HOMEBOY, RED. I’M GONNA DO IT TO YOU AGAIN MY DUDE, AND I’M GONNA BLING OUT THE X TITLE. Because we’re tan, we’re hot, and bro, you’re not!
Cookie - JERSEY’S IN THE HOUSE, BITCHES!
Taz - I love that line right there. Cookie’s quite the little lady.
Taz - Not a hair out of place, and he’s got fantastic grammar.
Kendrick - Mick, on pg. 98, it says that in the kitchen, there was a picture of dogs - now this makes me think of other poets who write for the heavens - Bob Dylan. Was that your intent? To write for the heavens or something else?
Mick - This book works on so many different levels, that it might, it might affect your ability to enjoy it if I gave you my interpretation.
Kendrick - Could you…make it out to Spanky please?
Mick - I still call you Spanky.
Storm - Why do STD? RVD? DVD? We are the greatest baby!
Kaz - A ONE-LEGGED MAN CAN’T WIN AN ASS-WHIPPING CONTEST SO HOW CAN A ONE-ARMED ASSHOLE BEAT ME IN AN ULTIMATE X?
AJ - Ric, can you get the belt?
Flair - Here it is…
AJ - YOU GOT ICED!
(to BPs, WHICH INCLUDE LACEY VON ERICH)Tessmacher - Please teach me out to wrestle. Give me some advice.
Velvet - Here’s some - KISS MY ASS!
Tenay - Where’s Pope’s money?
Taz - I guess money’s tight.
Taz - AJ’s the longest-reigning TNA Champion in history.
Tenay - What about Bischoff planting the seeds of doubt in RVD?
Taz - Well, RVD is familiar with seeds and plants…
AJ - I’M TOO GOOD - TOO GOOD FOR HIM! (does a jig, gets punched)
Taz - The acting ability of Fortune is like Pacino and DeNiro!
Pope - Everybody needs somebody every now and then.
Devon - We’ve accomplished more than any other team in this business.
Ray - Alexander the Great realized that there was no land left to conquer and began to cry - that’s like us. At Turning Point, it’s our last match. Devon’s got a big family, and I’ve got a music career I’m looking to pursue.
Jarrett - I came out here tonight to publicly apologize for what I did to you, Kurt. I wanna apologize for humiliating you in front of the entire world, Kurt. Kurt, if you were standing right here in this very ring, I would tell you how much I deeply regret…
Crowd - KING OF NOTHING!
Jarrett - Kurt, I would tell you how much I deeply regret…NOT BEATING THE CRAPPING HELL OUT OF YOU MORE THAN I DID.
Tenay - THAT’S DISGUSTING.
Jarrett - THE KING IS BACK ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN ONCE AGAIN! AND KURT, YOU’RE GONE - GONE FROM TNA FOREVER! And just like many before here in TNA, and certainly many more to come, I MADE YOU AND I BROKE YOU! But you know what the ironic thing is? Out of my kind, gracious heart, I gave Kurt a job when NO ONE WANTED HIM. Kurt, I’ve stripped you of everything. Your dignity. Your pride. Your honor. Oh, and your precious, precious career! And let’s not forget, Kurt… (Joe comes out)
Tenay - JOE IS PISSED!
Tenay - HE THREW JOE OFF THE SIDE OF THE RAMP! JEFF, YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON ALL OF US!
Jarrett - Looks like Joe needs a little help, doesn’t it guys?
Tenay - RVD and Sabu are like brothers…YOU’D SAY THE SAME ABOUT RVD AND JEFF HARDY WOULDN’T YA!?
Taz - Well…no… They weren’t friends as long.
Tenay - WHAT!? A FRIENDSHIP’S A FRIENDSHIP!
Kaz - Ric, what you are to 60 minute matches, I am to Ultimate X.
Taz - She’s got those John Nord boots.
Taz - Never thought I’d say John Nord’s name during a Knockouts match.
Tenay - Sarita with the rack.
Taz - Rack?
Tenay - TORTURE RACK.
Taz - Yeah, I know. Lex Express deal.
Tenay - WOAH WOA WAH!
Taz - TARA!
Taz - Here comes Anderson’s partner…
Tenay - Opponent…
Taz - OPPONENT!
Tenay - HOW’S ANDERSON GONNA CLIMB!?
Taz - Sloppily - that’s a word.
Tenay - This is tough to watch.
Tenay - He’s looking underneath the ring…
Taz - Is there a prosthetic arm under there?
Taz - Are ladders allowed In an Ultimate X?
Tenay - HE’S A ONE-ARMED MAN.
Flair - I’M BLEEDING AGAIN. Haven’t even wrestled tonight and I’m bleeding.
TNA Reaction
Hardy -
Rob Van Dam and
TNA.
Storm - If you watch the episodes, this all works out. It’s no accident that we were the first ones to greet Flair when he debuted in TNA.
Bischoff - We had a simple 4 part plan to get the company away from Dixie - part 1 - get TNA’s biggest monster on our side. Part 2 was easy - after a personal dispute, Dixie took Jeff’s power.
Jarrett - I can’t tell you how we did this - but we did it!
Bischoff - It wasn’t until Dixie compared Hulk Hogan to what EV2 did in the ‘90s, it was a comment she would live to regret forever.
Douglas - Dixie should go back to her old job - whatever that was. Sitting on the beach.
Abyss - It shows how ignorant Dixie is to compare the careers of Flair and Hogan, WHO PUT THIS BUSINESS ON THE MAP, to EV2.
Hardy - RVD won’t live in my light anymore - he’ll be in my shadow.
Roode - WE’RE THE A-TEAM!
Storm - We should buy Dixie “Wrestling For Dummies”
Roode - She’d be on the cover.
Storm - You didn’t see Abyss attack Jeff Hardy - it was all part of the plan.
Hardy - I am the antichrist of pro wrestling and I walk on water.
Hardy - Hogan and Flair are living vicariously through me.