The centerpiece:
Penis
Penis A-B
Angry Samoan
Anteater
Arrow
Ass plower
Ass pounder
Ass ripper
Azro-Tararg The Destroyer of Vaginas
Badajo (Spanish)
Baloney
Banana/Platano (Spanish)
Beautiful
Bea
Beaver buster
Beaver cleaver
Beef bayonet
Beer can (penis with large girth)
Beer keg (penis with extremly large girth)
Bell
Bellend
Bell Tower
Bibys (Lithuanian)
Bicho (Spanish)
Bicycle
Big Ben
Big Ed and the twins
Big Kahoona, The
Bipper
Bird
Bishop
Bishop in a turtleneck
Bitchsplitter, The
Blinky (My Fellow Americans)
Blood Thirsty Hound
Blue-veined junket gun
Blue-veined microphone
Blue-veined throbber
Blue-veined pumpit junkit
Bone
Boner
Boy's best friend
Boycock
Boyhood
Boypleaser
Boypole
Boystick
Bratwurst (Die Mommy Die! Reference; German)
Butoh
Penis C
Cabbage roll
Captain, the
Captain Kirk
Captain Penis McPenis
Captain Picard
Captain Planet
Captain Winky
Caralho (Portuguese)
card shuffler
Carne (Spanish, Italian: meat)
Cazzo ( Italian)
Center pole
Cervix slammer (long penis)
Cigala (Del CATALA)
cheese farm
Cheese-maker
Cherry popper
Chilichute
Chinchin (Japanese)
Chinko (Japanese)
Chinpo (Japanese)
Choad/Chode (penis; usually a penis with width greater than length)
Chorra (Spanish)
Chromosome snake
Cipote (Spanish)
Clit tickler
Clouded Frost Spire (black metal penis)
Clyde
Coat Hanger
Cock
Cock rocket
cod
Colonel
Colin (Southern New Jersey)
Corn dog
Crank
Cream filled sausage
cuddle-bunny
cuddly little buddy
Creamcicle
Cum Cannon (for strong ejaculations)
cumcrank
Cumgun
Cumpole
Cumrod
Cumshooter
Cumstick
Cunt buster
Cunt poker
Cunt pounder
Cunt ripper
Cunt thumper
Cyclops
Cabbage Roll
Penis D-E
Dairy (produces milk and cheese)
Daniel
Denture cleaner
Devirginator
Diamond Cutter
Dick
Ding-a-ling
Ding-dong
Dingus
Dink
Dipstick
Dolk (Danish, actually means "knife")
Dong/Donger
Donkeycock/Donkeydick (very large penis)
Doodle-dandy (from masturbation)
Doomhammer
Dork
Dragon Wang
Drill/Driller
Dusty Gazongas
Egg roll
Eiffel Tower
Elastic warrior
Elvis
Endowment
Engine clanker
Equipment
Eiffel Tower
Penis F-I
Fatboy Slim
Father Christmas
First Penis, The (The US President's)
Fireman
Flagpole
Flaming Staff of Vengeance which Conquers the Sniveling Flowers of Pink Town with Medieval War Bombs of Gooey Hysteria
stick
er
Fur-seeking meat missile
Gazong
General, The
Gherkin
Giggle stick
God
Goober
Granny smasher
Guided muscle
Guy's best friend
Ham trucheon
Hangdown
Happiness
Hasenpfeffer (German)
Heat-seeking missile/Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
Herman the German in a turtleneck
Hog/Hawg
Hooded Knight
Hoo hoo dilly (South Park reference)
Horsecock/Horsedick (very large penis)
Hose
Hot dog
Human Horn (Futurama reference)
Impregnator
Fatboy Slim
Penis J-K
Jack the Ripper
Jills Javalin
Jabba (In the film 'Without a paddle' - "... Jabba back in his hutt!"
Jade phoenix
Jawbreaker
Jesus
Ji ba (Mandarin)
Jimmer jammer
Jimmy
Jizz cannon
Jizzer
John Thomas (term first used in Lady Chatterley's Lover)
Johnson
Jonathan's one-eyed master
Joystick
Junk
Khaaaan
Kickstand
Kidney cracker (Frantics reference)
Kidney sweeper
Kielbasa (a type of Polish sausage)
Knee knocker
Knob
Kutas (Polish)
Penis L
Lad (Irish)
Lanze (German)
Lap bone
Lap taffy
Leaning Tower of Pisa
Leg wand
Limecat
Lingum or lingam (from Hindu)
Little Elvis
Little Willy
Lizard
Log
Lollipop
Longfellow
Love club
Love gun
Love loaf
Love length
Love lolly
Love missile
Love muscle
Love Pump
Love Sausage
Love snake
Love stick
Love wand
LUEshi
Luncheon Meat Truncheon
Penis M
Magic dragon (in reference to the charactor "Elliott" in Pete's Dragon)
Magic stick
Magic wand
Main cable
Main vein
Manhood
Manmeat
Manrod
Manroot
Mantower
Martillo (Spanish: Hammer)
Meat
Meat missile (made famous by Max Hardcore)
Meat popsicle
Meat thermometer
Meat whistle
Megg's best friend (cajun vernacular)
Member (Spanish: Miembro)
Mickey (chiefly Irish)
Micro Mikey
Middle leg (large penis)
Minchia (Sicilian dialect of Italian)
Mini-Me
Minga (Spanish)
Missile
Monkey
Monster
Mr. Happy
Mr. Wobbly
Penis N-O
Needle
ninnyhammer
Non-Directional Radar Guided Vagina Finder
Ochinchin (Japanese)
OPS (official pussy ripper)
Old fella/Old feller/Old fellow
One-eyed monster/sitting on a beanbag chair
One-eyed snake
One-eyed trouser snake
One-eyed trouser trout
Organ
Oscar ("My Baloney has a first name...")
Penis P
Panga (Latin American Spanish)
Passion pole
Pecker
Pedro/Peter
Peener
Pee-pee
Peeper
Pee-puette
Pee-wee
Pelir
Pen
Pencil
Pencildick
Percy
Peter
Phallus
Piça (Portuguese)
Picha (Portuguese)
Pickle
Pickledick (High School High reference)
Piço (Portuguese)
Piece of Pork (Reference to "Isn't it Awfully Nice to Have a Penis," a song sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python's Meaning of Life)
Pija (Spanish)
Pijo (Spanish)
Pik (Danish)
Pimmel (German)
Pinga (Spanish)
Pink torpedo (Spinal Tap reference)
Pipe
Piperoll (movie "She's Gotta Have It")
Pisser
Plank
Pleasure pole
Pleasure scepter
Pleasure stick
Pocker
Pocket rocket
Pole
Polla (Spanish)
Popcorn surprise
Pork Flute
Pork hammer
Pork sword
Poronga (Spanish)
Porra (Portuguese)
Pounder
Presidential staff
Prick
Princess
Pud
Pudding Slinger
Purple fist
Purple katana
Purple-headed monster
Purple-headed love warrior
Purple-headed mushroom
Purple-headed yogurt slinger
Purple-headed warrior
Purple-helmet warrior
Purple-veined clarinet
Pussy plower
Python
Penis Q-R
Rammer
Ramrod
Rape rod
Rapestick
Rearpoker
Red Rocket
Remington
Remis
Richard (Little Richard)
Rocket
Rocketrod
Rod
Roger Ramrod (adult video game)
Rumple Foreskin
Penis S
Salami
Salami packer
Samurai's Backup
Santa's little helper
Sausage (Spanish: Salchicha)
Scepter
Schlinger
Schlong/Shlong/schlonger
Schmeckle
Schmuck
Schnitzel
Schwanz (Swiss German)
Schwanzstucker (from Young Frankenstein)
Scum shooter
Shaft
Shit stabber
Shrimp Tempura
Skin flute
Slammer
Slinky
Smoked meat log
Snake
Snopp
Snuffaluffagus (foreskinned penis)
Spam
Spam javelin
Spanky
Sparky
Stanley (the power tool)
Steaming stalk
Stick/Schtick
Super mushroom
Snack trays
Sword
Penis T-U
10 Inches of Dr. (insert man's name here)'s Root Medicine
Talliwhacker/Tallywhacker
Thigh spreader
Thigh stimulator
Third leg (large penis)
Throbbing Thrill Hammer
Tiki God
Timpo (2ch)
Tissemand
Titi (Filipino)
Todger
Tommy
Tommyboy
Tonk
Tool
Tooth chipper
Tootsie Roll
Toy
Treff
Tripod (man with an abnormally large penis; Goldmember reference)
Trolley
Trouser snake
Trouser trout
Trouser weasel
Trunk
Tube steak
Tummy banana
Thumper
Twat jockey
Twig
Uccello (Italian: bird)
Unit
Penis V-Z
V-Rod
Vein-Inlaid Meat Pipe
Verga (Spanish, used more in Latin America than in Spain)
Verga (Portuguese, used more in Portugal than in Spain)
Vienna sausage
Viper
Vitelo (Portuguese)
Voodoo stick
Walking Stick
Wang/Wong
Wanger/Wanga
War club
War hammer
Warrior of love
Wang
Wee-wee
Wiener (misspelled "Weiner" on The Simpsons)
Wienie (or Weinie, Weenie)
Wenus (reference to an episode of Friends; meant to sound like the combination of Wiener and Penis, but actually an acronym for "Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics")
Willie/Willy
Wing wong
Winkie
Whiz wand
Wobbly
Worm
XY stick
Yellowshirt
Yogurt slinger
Yoni feeder
Zabourah (Arabic)